by Amy Brent
He tried to steer her towards the bedroom, but that felt too personal to her. She pushed him down on the couch and got down on her knees, unzipping his pants. He was flushed and his breathing was becoming erratic as his arousal passed the point of no return. When she pulled down his pants and took him into her mouth, he moaned out loud, dropping his head back and relaxing against the sofa.
She worked him up for a few minutes until she was sure he was more than ready to go. Then she slipped off her underwear, hitched up her skirt, and climbed on top of him.
He grabbed her hips and guided her as she rode him. Unlike last time, she didn't want to take her time. Sure, she wanted to enjoy herself. But there was a big difference between slow, intimate sex, and a good hard fucking. She only wanted the latter. It would satisfy her physical urges without stirring up the same intimate feelings that came with making love.
Thomas's grunts grew more forceful. He held onto her tight, thrusting up into her as she rode him. She grinned, knowing that she had him right where she wanted him. She wasn't near climaxing herself, but she faked it, letting out some deep, guttural moans and arching her back. She laid it on thick, giving her best to the performance. She needed to make sure Thomas was satisfied, and part of that was making him believe he'd satisfied her as well.
When it was done, he clung to her, burying his face against her shoulder. She let him hold her for just a minute, then she got up, retrieved her underwear, and pulled it back on. She adjusted her dress and her hair while Thomas sat there, panting.
He looked up at her with a satisfied smile, then pouted when he saw she was getting ready to leave. “You in a rush, babe?”
“I've got an early day tomorrow,” she said.
“Tomorrow's Sunday.”
“Yes,” she said. “I have church.”
“Oh.” He cleared his throat, his face turning red. She wondered if the subject of God was a touchy one for a man who paid a woman to have sex with him.
He went into the bedroom, zipping up his pants, and returned with the envelope that held her money. She put it into her purse, gave Thomas a quick kiss on the cheek, and headed for the door.
He followed her and put his arm across the door, blocking her way. “When do I get to see you again?” he asked. He reached up to caress her cheek. She wanted to pull away from the tender gesture, but she let it happen so as not to offend him.
“My schedule is kind of busy.” She bit her lip, trying to think of what to say. She needed the money, so she would definitely be coming back. But she didn't want this to be a regular thing. If she came to him every weekend, it would feel too much like dating.
“Next month,” she said. Thomas pouted in disappointment. “I'm sorry. I just can't fit the time into my schedule otherwise.”
“All right,” he said. He leaned in and gave her a kiss. She let his lips linger on his for a few moments, then pulled away.
He watched her as she headed into the elevator. She kept her back straight, trying not to show any signs of weakness. She kept it completely professional. She even accepted a ride home from Thomas's driver this time.
It wasn't until she got home and was lying in her own bed that the weight of the night started to settle onto her. She stared at the ceiling, thinking about what she'd done. About what she would do again next month.
And about how much she wished she didn't have to detach herself from it so much. But keeping the emotional distance was the only way she could survive this. If she let herself get too close to Thomas, she knew that sooner or later, she would end up with a broken heart.
* * *
Over the next few months, Jillian and Thomas were a regular thing. Every few weeks, he would give her a call, asking her to come see him. She agreed each time, but only because she continued to be desperate for the money. After their third encounter, she sat down at home one day, going over her budget and doing some math. She'd already managed to pay off two credit cards with the money Thomas had paid her. But it would take several more months before she could pay off the rest and get rid of her student loans at the same time. After working the numbers, she realized that if she wanted to pay off everything—except for her mortgage, which she had twenty-five years left on—she would need to continue sleeping with Thomas about once a month until the end of the year. She could get it done faster if she agreed to see him more often, but try as she might, she couldn't bring herself to do that. She needed time between each encounter in order to let her emotions settle. It was the only way to avoid becoming too attached.
She woke up one Saturday morning after a long and tiresome night. She'd been stuck at the clinic late, and she'd forgotten to eat dinner. Her stomach was bothering her, she was grumpy, and all she wanted to do was sleep in and forget about the world.
She was pulling the covers over her head to go back to sleep when her phone rang. She grabbed it, ready to chuck it across the room, when she saw it was Thomas calling.
She groaned, but answered the phone anyway, mumbling a grumpy, “Yeah?”
“Hey, babe,” he said. “How's my favorite girl this morning?”
She glared at the ceiling, wondering what he even meant by that. Sometimes she thought that maybe he meant such things, that he really did care about her. Other times she knew she was just his whore.
“I'm really not feeling well,” she said.
“Oh. That's too bad.” There was a long pause. “Because I was hoping you'd come over today.”
Jillian stared at the clock. It was too early in the morning to deal with this. But on the other hand, she knew she needed to keep this deal going. For all she knew, a rejection would send Thomas searching for another girl. “I'd love to,” she said.
“Really? That's great.”
Jillian held back a sigh. It sounded like there was genuine excitement in his voice. “Give me a couple of hours, okay?”
“Okay, babe,” he said. “Sure thing. Whatever my girl needs.”
She hung up the phone, her thoughts lingering on the words “my girl.” She tried to banish such thoughts from her mind, but she couldn't help but wonder what kind of feelings Thomas might have been developing for her.
She got dressed slowly, fighting the sensations of nausea that wouldn't go away. She avoided the wine during the car ride this time, feeling pretty certain that it would make her vomit. The last thing she needed to do was throw up all over Thomas's expensive apartment. For all she knew, he would take the cleaning bill out of her pay.
She and Thomas had lunch together, though she had a hard time eating. He'd made a spicy meal, and after a few bites, she found that it just wasn't agreeing with her.
He seemed to notice that she was still feeling under the weather. “You sure you're okay today, babe?” he asked. “Can I get you anything?”
“I'm fine,” she said. She stretched and reached around to rub a hand against her lower back. “Just a bit sore after a long work week.”
“Here, let me take care of that. You shouldn't always have to be the one fixing other people's back problems.”
He led her over to the couch and started giving her a slow, sensual back rub. She laid face down on the sofa, letting his hands roam her body. It felt so good and started to relieve the tension in her aching muscles. Though her nausea didn't want to go away.
It wasn't long before Thomas's hands started to roam. She closed her eyes, wishing she could tell him to stop. It had felt so nice to have him touch her in a nonsexual way for once. And with the way her stomach was feeling, she wasn't really in the mood.
“Baby?” she asked, lifting her head up.
“What's up?” His hands continued rubbing her, straying now below her waist.
“Can we just relax for a while?” She twisted around a bit to look at him. “I'm really sorry to ruin the mood. I just need a little time to let lunch settle, I guess.”
“All right,” he said. “If that's what you need.”
He sat next to her on the couch. She could tell by the look
on his face that he was disappointed, but he didn't say anything about it.
They ended up watching a movie on his big screen TV. Thomas had his arm around her the entire time, and she laid her head against his shoulder, pretending that this was just a normal Saturday with a normal guy. She knew what would have to come later, though she still wasn't in the mood. The obligation, the knowledge that there was only one real reason that he'd asked her here, made it hard for her to feel any arousal.
After the movie ended, Thomas started kissing her. She tried to respond, but her heart just wasn't in it. He picked up on that pretty quickly and pulled away, hanging his head and sighing.
“Listen, babe,” he said. “If you're not feeling well, we don't have to do anything today.”
“I don't want to be a let down,” she said. Tears started to well in her eyes.
He caressed her cheek and smiled at her. “It's okay. Really. We'll make up for it another time.”
He gave her a gentle kiss, then she gathered her things and got ready to leave. Though when she got to the door, he still handed her the envelope with her payment.
“But I didn't do anything,” she said.
“Yes, you did.” He smiled at her and kissed her hand. “You showed me a good time. Maybe not in the usual way, but I had a really nice time today, just spending time with you.”
She toyed with the edges of the envelope, torn between taking the money and giving it back. But he led her into the elevator before she could bring herself to return it.
“I'll see you next time, all right?” he said.
“All right.” She smiled at him, genuinely grateful for his understanding.
She went home and spent the rest of the day relaxing. The next morning, she was feeling sick again. On top of that, her breasts were sore, which confused her since she and Thomas hadn't even done anything together. Though a cold realization slowly dawned on her as she considered a possible explanation.
A home pregnancy test soon confirmed her fears. She'd been using birth control each time she'd been with Thomas, but she knew that such things were never 100%. She'd have to go to a doctor to find out for certain if the test was accurate, but as much as she wanted to deny it, she knew that it was true.
She was pregnant. And there was no way she could consider raising a child together with Thomas. She didn't know what she was going to do.
* * *
As the next couple of months passed, Jillian encouraged Thomas to call on her more frequently. She was determined to reach the end of their “business relationship,” but she couldn't do so until she'd earned enough money to get out of debt. Raising a child would be expensive, but she'd run the numbers, and found that once she was debt-free, she would be able to afford to feed and clothe the child with the money from her regular salary. She just needed to get out of debt before the baby was born.
For a while, Thomas gave no signs that he had any idea what was going on. She went to his penthouse each time he called. They ate, they danced, they enjoyed quiet evenings together, and she did her best to please him in bed. The more time they spent together, the more amazing their nights together started to feel. She found herself wanting to take her time, to linger with his touch. She even started spending the night again, in order to feel his arms around her all night long.
One Sunday morning, after a long night of passion, Thomas laid in bed and watched her get dressed. Her envelope of money was waiting for her on the nightstand, as usual. When she finished getting dressed and reached for the envelope, Thomas reached out and grabbed her wrist.
“Jillian,” he said, giving her a stern look, “when are you going to tell me?”
“Tell you what?” Her heart hammered in her chest and her face started to feel warm.
“Don't play games with me.” He shoved her hand away from the envelope and sat up in bed.
Jillian took a few steps back. “I don't know what you're talking about.”
“Oh no?” He stood up and pulled on his pants. “You don't think I can notice the signs? You haven't had a glass of wine with dinner for months. You're in the bathroom plenty of mornings, claiming you're not feeling well. And, well...” He gestured to her body. “It's starting to show.”
Jillian looked at herself in the mirror, pressing her hands against her stomach. She had been hoping to be done with her arrangement with Thomas before the pregnancy started to show. “I...I just thought...” She sighed and shook her head.
Thomas glared at her. “Who's the father?”
Her head shot up. She stared him down, her face turning red. “What? How can you possibly ask me that?”
“Well, what am I supposed to think?” He threw his hands in the air. “You only see me once, maybe twice a month. You've got a whole life that I'm not a part of. How am I supposed to know whether there's another man?”
“You think I would do that?” she asked. “You think I'd cheat on you?”
“Cheat?” He snorted and shook his head. “Is it cheating when I'm paying you?”
She looked at the envelope on the nightstand, then grabbed it and threw it at him. It tore open and money scattered all over the bedroom. “Well, you can stop paying me now.”
She stalked out of the room and headed for the elevator. Thomas followed her and grabbed her arm, spinning her around to face him.
“Don't touch me!” she shouted.
“Jillian, I'm not just letting you walk out like this.”
“Why not?” she asked. She beat a fist against his chest as tears started rolling down her cheeks. “Isn't this what you want? For your whore to leave, so that you won't have to be burdened? You wonder why I didn't tell you? Because I knew it would never work. You don't want me as part of your life!”
He pulled her against his chest. She struggled, but he was too strong. “Is that what you think?” he asked, looking deep into her eyes. “You think I don't want you in my life? Of course I do!”
“Then why...why...?” Jillian choked on her words, tears falling down her cheeks. She didn't even know what to say.
“I've been trying to find a way to talk to you about this,” he said, caressing her cheek and wiping away her tears. “To tell you the way I feel about you. I only kept offering you money because I thought that was all you wanted. That if I asked you to come see me, just for me, just to be with me, that you'd reject me.”
She shook her head, a wry laugh escaping her lips. “You really think that? That I'd reject you?”
“You did the first day we met.”
Jillian held very still, thinking back to that first fateful encounter in her office. It was true, she had rejected him. But only because he'd been a patient. Now that he wasn't...
“Jillian,” he said, running his fingers through her hair. “Babe. Please. Don't leave.”
She looked at the door, then closed her eyes and laid her head against his chest. “But what about the money? And the baby? And...”
He stroked her hair, whispering soothing noises into her ear. “Don't worry about that. About any of it. I can take care of you. I can take care of you and the baby. That's all I want to do.”
She held him tight, her tears slowly fading away. “You mean that?” she whispered. She clung to his chest, savoring his warmth. She could feel his heart beating and she held her head against it, listening to the steady rhythm of his life. “You really want me? You want...us?”
“Of course I do.” He tilted her face up towards his. “Jillian, I love you.”
He kissed her, and for the first time when she kissed him back, it was without obligation, without any baggage attached. It was simply two souls uniting in a moment together, sharing the touch, the taste of each other. She held onto him, relief swelling in her chest. Her worries slowly faded, and she knew now that everything was going to be okay. Her baby, their baby, would have a wonderful life, and they would finally be together as a real couple, as a family. And it was more than she ever could have hoped for.
Reed
He
took one last drink and made his way back into office with water in hand. He knew what to say, and all he had to do was put it out there. He pushed open the door and turned to face her once more.
“Lydia!? What the hell are you doing here?” He glanced frantically around the room once more.
She stood their hands on hip scowling. “Me what am I doing here what the hell was Miss Piggy doing here? That woman had some nerve, she eluded to having sex with you on your desk can you imagine?!”
“Lydia, I have known you for a very long time and so I am not going to fire you for your mouth, or the way you talk about Tempest. I will, however tell you that this is your one and only warning about how you talk to people. Don’t ever, and I mean ever let me hear you say another cross word about her is that clear?”
She paled and stuttered slightly.” Ye..yes Reed I got it. I’m sorry ok.?”
“As for my sex life that is none of your business, not anymore. We are done Lydia, no more. If you said or did anything to run her off I swear Lydia, you will be on the unemployment line by Monday morning.” He grabbed his jacket and made his way out of the office and into the garage to get his car. I she could run off for weeks and not say a word, surely she could go away again, but there was no way he was letting her go not this time.
He found her apartment complex easily enough. It wasn’t as run down as he had feared, but it was in a rough part of town. He saw her car and he internally sighed with relief. He still had time to make thigs right. He parked his car, jumping out and knocking on her door.
She opened it and after the look of shock came one of concern.
“Reed, what are you doing here?” She crossed her arms and he knew she was upset.
“Can I come in and talk Temp, please just for a few minutes. Then I’ll go if you want.”
He saw her thinking about it and after another moment she opened the screen for him and he went inside. It was small and quaint but meticulously neat. It was seeing that that helped him relax even more. He turned to face her.