by Amy Brent
“What’s wrong, baby girl?”
James was looking at me intently from across the dorm room as he set my suitcase on the lifted bed. I’d once considered myself lucky for getting a private down, but now it just felt lonely. I crossed the room and wrapped my around around his strong frame, my hand sliding into the back of his khaki’s pockets.
“I don’t want you to leave.”
He sighed and put his hand on the back of my head, kissing my hair gently. His lips lingered and for a moment I thought he might feel sorry for me and take me back home where I belonged. I should have known better.
James pulled away and gripped my shoulders, squeezing them like he used to do when I was a kid. It was always the same. He’d reach out, squeeze my shoulders and give me the pep talk I needed. I’m not sure why I thought it would be any different now.
“We talked about this, Aria.”
“Don’t…Don’t call me that,” I pleaded, tears in my eyes.
He ran his thumb across my cheek, gently wiping the tear away. “You’ll see me in a week, baby girl.”
“But who’s going to cook for you and do your laundry and kiss you when you get home?!” I insisted. I knew I was starting to whine, but I couldn’t help it. I was upset and I just wanted him to take me home.
“I’ll manage on my own, and so will you,” he said firmly. “I know you want to stay with me, baby girl, and at the end of the semester we’ll talk about it again, but for now, I want you to stay here and keep up with your school work, alright?”
“I can keep up with it at home,” I murmured, looking down at the floor.
“Baby girl…”
“I know, daddy…I know,” I said, rubbing my arm. “You want me to have a social life.”
“Exactly. There’s a lot for you to gain by staying here. You can network, meet new friends.”
I started to open my mouth and argue. I wanted to tell him that I didn’t want to meet new friends. I wanted to tell him that I wanted to spend my free time curled up beside him while the fire roared to life in the fire place. I wanted him to hold me every night and kiss me every morning, but I knew that if I argued anymore I might get myself in trouble. He was being gentle with me because he knew I was upset, but even his patience only went so far.
“Alright, Daddy. I’ll stay.”
He nodded and pulled me into his arms where I went limp and held him tight, not wanting to let go. I knew it was only a week, but it felt so much longer than that. He finally pulled away and kissed my cheek, smiling gently.
“You’ll be alright, baby girl. I’ll see you Thursday night, alright?”
“You’re going to come pick me up.”
“Of course.”
I nodded and took a step back, watching as he gathered his things and started towards the door. He stopped short and turned towards me, “I almost forgot,” he said idly, walking over to me and handing me a little package.
I tore into the pink and gold paper, smiling when I saw the book he’d had made. The cover was rose gold, my favorite color, and inside the binder-like book was laminated copies of our contract as well as a few sheets that had our rules written in his beautiful cursive. The last section was journaling paper.
“I want you to start journaling your thoughts about all of this.”
“All of what?”
“Our new relationship. I want you to write down things that you want and things that intrigue you.”
“Really?”
“Really. We’re going to move forward with our training on the weekends, but during the week, I expect you to really think about what you want from this.”
I smiled and set the book on my desk, running over to him and throwing my arms around him, kissing him until my lungs ached for air. I pressed my forehead to his and sighed. “Thank you, Daddy.”
“Anything to see my baby girl smile.” He offered one more kiss before finally leaving the room for good.
I watched him go with an aching sadness, but at least I knew I only had to wait a week to see him. My new diary would keep me company until then. It wasn’t as good as Daddy, but it was something and at least it was some kind of comfort.
In the evenings when I knew I was alone, I would set at the tiny, school assigned desk and stare at the empty pages, trying to think of what I wanted from our relationship. I honestly didn’t know the answer to that question. I wasn’t even sure what this relationship was all about. I knew I had a lot to learn and I was going to make James proud when we met up again.
The next few months flew by and the weeks I was alone get easier and easier. When I was alone I researched relationships like mine and read contracts that people had posted online. The more I read, the more I began to understand the kind of things I wanted and when I finally presented them to James, he’d beamed and practically glowed with pride.
The things I wanted were simple. I wanted to be loved, cherished, protected and fulfilled. They were all things that I knew James could give me. Hell, he already fulfilled most of those wishes. I’d never considered asking for these things out of a relationship. I’d always thought I’d just settle for whatever I could get, because I didn’t think I’d ever be able to be with someone as amazing as James.
Now that things were much different, I was willing to expect more from my lover. I held James to a higher standard because I knew he was an amazing man. I wanted our relationship to be everything I dreamed it would.
My school life didn’t suffer either. I knew he’d be disappointed in me if I slacked off with my studies or stopped going to group events, so I made sure to stay active. At first it felt like a chore when all I wanted was to be with him, but eventually I fell back into my own routine and I was managing to balance school, social activities and my romantic life. It was a delicate balance, but I managed.
I would go home every weekend and while my roommate was curious as to what had changed to make me want to go home so much, she never pushed me, and I was glad for that. I wasn’t embarrassed of James by any stretch of the imagination, but I was worried that people wouldn’t understand. Nothing we were doing was illegal, but I could see where it would make people uncomfortable. I didn’t want our relationship to cost him clients or make his life any harder, so I stayed silent about it.
Every day I was learning to be a better person, a better lover and a better submissive. My life was perfect as far as I could tell. I never wanted it to change, but if life had taught me anything, it was that good things didn’t last forever.
Chapter Eight
The morning sickness started as the harsh of winter really started to set in. February was always the coldest month and with it typically came seasonal depression and body aches. I’d never actually gotten ill from the weather before, though.
Every morning, I’d stumble out of bed and run for the bathroom, heaving until everything I’d eaten the night before came up. The sickness made me shake and left me feeling exhausted. All I could do was lean up against the wall and ensure my worried roommate, Luna, that I was okay. She never quite believed me, but that was okay. She meant well and I knew she was worried, but I didn’t like having people fret over me.
I chalked the sickness up to stress. After all, a lot of things in my life were changing. Maybe my body had finally caught up and was trying to purge all of the subconscious stress. That was the excuse I came up with, anyway and I was going to stick with it. It was better than the alternative.
Luna tried to convince me to go to the school’s health center, but I refused. I didn’t want to find out what was really wrong, even though I knew I’d have to deal with the reality of it sooner or later. I insisted I was alright and went on with my life.
James came and picked me up that Friday, like he did every other day and smiled at me. He reached out and took my hand, placing a gently kiss to the back of it and I blushed. “I missed you, Daddy.”
His hand cupped my cheek tenderly and he nodded. “I missed you too baby girl.”
I chewed
my bottom lip, trying to hide my excitement. I was always excited to go back home with James, but this weekend was especially exciting. Valentine’s day had been on Tuesday and since we couldn’t be together for it, he promised me something special when I finally got home.
“You look excited to see me.”
“I’m always excited to see you, Daddy,” I pointed out, putting my hand on his thigh and squeezing.
He chuckled as he pulled out of the brick round about in front of my dorm. “You don’t have to pretend, baby girl. I know why you’re excited.”
“Oh?”
He leaned into my ear, his warm breath grazing my neck and making me shudder with excitement. “You know I’m going to make you cum over and over and over again.”
I didn’t realize I was holding my breath and squeezing his thigh. I let the breath out slowly and turned so that our lips grazed each other’s “Yes, Daddy.”
“I’m going to fuck you until you can’t walk.”
I took advantage of the red light we were at and wrapped my arms around his shoulders, pressing a wet kiss to his neck. “And you’ll carry me around like a princess?”
He chuckled and nodded as the car rolled forward. “Of course I will.”
We continued our playful teasing and touching until we got to the house. Once we were inside, however, I was in submissive mode. I turned slowly and looked up at him with heavy eyes as I removed his coat for him, hanging it in the closet.
“Good girl. You’re always so good.”
“Only for you, Daddy.”
He groaned happily and grabbed my shirt, pulling it over my head slowly and folding it, placing it carefully in my waiting arms. This was our routine. In the house, I wasn’t allowed to wear clothes. James would strip me as naked as he wanted me, sometimes leaving me in panties, but most of the time leaving me in nothing. He stacked each piece of clothing in my arms and I took them to my bedroom before returning and waiting for him patiently.
“Go to the play room.”
My grin grew wider and I turned, prancing towards the play room. We didn’t go in the room every weekend. James tried to reserve it for special occasions. He would always have me fetch things out of it, but we didn’t always play in it.
I stepped into the room, which he’d painted a lovely lavender color. The lavender was off set by the dark brown and black leather tools that James’ used on my delicate body. My favorite part of this room? It was sound proofed and I could be as loud as I wanted and was often encouraged to do so. Goosebumps rose on my skin as I considered what was going to happen next. James always kept me guessing and that wasn’t a bad thing.
I turned to face him, licking my lips as he closed the door behind us. The click of it closing was all I needed to be put in the right mind set. For a moment, the thought of my morning sickness crossed my mind, but I pushed it down, ignoring it and crossing the room to wrap my arms around James’ neck. A smile graced his lips and he ran his fingers down my thin, pale body.
“So Beautiful.” He whispered, brushing his lips alone my neck. “You’re so beautiful.”
My toes curled at the praise and I threaded my fingers through his hair, pressing our foreheads together. “Thank you, Daddy,” I breathed, my legs already weak from his touch.
The second I’d stepped into this room, I could feel the pleasure rising in my stomach. It was Pavlovian response to what had occurred here before. The walls were coated with my moans and this room held the essence of pure pleasure for me. It was something I couldn’t put out of my mind, no matter how hard I tried.
My body was flushed a pretty pink and I could feel James’ eyes on me as I pulled away. He touched my cheek tenderly. “Go pick your toys,” he whispered in my ear.
I shivered and nodded, prancing over to the wall that was lined with all manner of toys. James had every kind of toy imaginable and I took advantage of what was offered to me. I ran my fingers along the long tails of a flogger. It still had the distinct smell of real leather to it and the elk skin was soft against the pads of my fingers. It was my favorite by far. It wasn’t a very painful toy, but it was damn loud. I shuddered excitedly at the thought and pulled it off the wall.
“One more.” James called, leaning against the wall with his arms crossed, watching me intently.
I turned to the opposite wall and picked up a toy I’d only used once. It was a butt plug with a delicate glass plug and a long, fluffy red fox tail that hung from it. Most of James’ toys were glass so that they could be properly cleaned. That was my job. It was my responsibility to properly maintain all the toys in the house and I adored it. I loved working the leather through my fingers with oil meant to soften the tails. It was a ritual that my obsessive mind had come to find calming.
I returned to him with the toys in hand and he put his hand in my hair. “Present them.”
The words were like lightning that ran through me. I dropped to my knees with care, my eyes never leaving his face. I always struggled with breaking eye contact with James, luckily that was never part of our agreement.
My lips parted as I finally hit my knees, raising the flogger towards him and offering it with a smile on my face. “Please, Daddy?”
He took the flogger and then I offered the plug, which he also took, silently approving my choices. He left me kneeling and crossed the room to an oak table, setting the toys on it for now. His hand rested on a leather pad that had been fixed to what looked like a sturdier version of a saw horse. Each of the four legs had eye hooks screwed into it at varying levels so that whoever was bent over it could be secured.
James raised a hand and curled his finger in my direction, beckoning me to come forward. I rose and all but ran over, grinning brightly.
“Yes, Daddy?”
He patted the leather surface and I nodded in understanding, bending over it easily. I was familiar with this particular piece of furniture. It was probably my favorite out of all the contraptions James had amassed over the years.
Once I was bent over it, the tips of my fingers and toes were barely able to graze the wood flooring. I shivered excitedly as James closed ankle and wrists restraints over my limbs, securing me into place. I gave them and experimental tug and moaned when I wasn’t able to pull free.
He chuckled and kissed between my shoulders tenderly, resting his hand on the round globe of my ass. “You look so pretty like this, baby girl.”
“Thank you, Daddy,” I breathed, trying to arch my ass into his hand.
He brought his hand down on my ass and the sound echoed through the room, only covered up by the sound of my own cry. “Hold still, baby girl.”
I whimpered but nodded, my cheek pressed to the leather padding. I could already feel a wetness between my legs. It was pooling on the leather, threating to drip down my pale thighs. My legs were spread and every part of me was exposed to him. I closed my eyes, panting from excitement. My legs were already beginning to quiver with anticipation and it took everything in me to not beg. I knew James would give me what I wanted soon enough.
The sound of leather being pulled through James’ fingers made me squirm excitedly and soon I was rewarded with those leather tails licked the round of my ass. Fire shot through every part of my body and every nerve was awake, crying and pleading for more of that delicious sound. The leather cracked against my ass and I moaned at the slight stinging sensation that started to radiate out from the impact site.
Ten more of those and I was a mess. I had soaked the leather padded with my essence, which had begun to drip onto the floor below. I knew I’d have to clean it up later, but I didn’t care. My ass felt hot now, the stinging of the tails magnified by the sheer number of licks I’d received. James paused to rest his hand on the part of my back side that had taken the brunt of the punishment and he ran his fingers over it. The skin was a hundred times more sensitive and every touch burned in the most delicious way. I cried out as he rubbed slow circles along the reddened skin, moaning as the pain faded into pleasure.
> I was shaking now and unable to stop. That wasn’t abnormal for me in the least. I didn’t think much of it, moaning and jerking my hips a little as James brushed his fingers along my back entrance, slowly starting to slip one in.
That’s when things went all wrong. The shaking got worse and my body tensed up. I cried out when James pulled his finger out, the tightened muscles making it a little more painful than I would have liked. My eyes started to flutter closed and I felt James franticly unlocking my restraints. I was struggling to move my body and slid off the leather pad, though James caught me before I could hit the ground. A warm sensation trickled down my thighs and for a moment I was horrified. Had I wet myself?
James pulled me to the ground and his next words assured me that I had not wet myself.
“Oh, my God…You’re bleeding!”
That was the last thing I heard before the world went black.
Chapter Nine
The warmth in the darkness was comforting. I wasn’t even entirely sure I wanted to wake up from it. The abyss was silent, but lonely and I knew if I stayed asleep I’d never see James again. As the thought crossed my dreaming mind, my eyes fluttered open to the sound of a soft, mechanical beeping. It was so predictable that I found myself whispering ‘beep, beep, beep’ in time with the machine.
My body ached and felt heavy, but even so, I groaned and put my hands flat on the bed and forced myself into a sitting positon, grunting softly. The room spun and I collapsed back in the bed as James came through the door with two bottles of water in hand.
“Shit,” he cursed under his breath before coming to my bedside and stroking hair out of my face.
“Lie down, Aria.”
“Lie down?” I whispered. “I’m already…Lying down?” My brain was clouded with the drugs that were running through my system.