Chapter 9
Ian felt himself shiver slightly, even though the night was warm.
He’d been puzzled, first by her reaction to the burglary, and then by her assumption it was his work the thief had been after; he didn’t think an ordinary neighbor would have assumed that. But it wasn’t until she had turned to look at him, until even in the faint light he’d seen once more the incredible resemblance to her friend Rand, that it hit him. And he suddenly knew exactly where he’d seen the man before.
As vividly as if it had been yesterday a scene from several weeks ago played through his mind again. He and Stan had been waiting to fly to Denver for a meeting with some researchers there. One of the Redstone fleet of jets was being readied for them as Josh’s personal jet returned from the Redstone Bay Resort, where Ian had heard there had been a tense hostage situation involving some children.
It wasn’t until their pilot had come in to announce the plane they were taking was ready that Ian had once more glanced out the window.
Just in time to see Rand, dressed in all black and carrying a duffel bag, jump off the bottom step of Josh’s plane’s stairs and disappear into the hangar. The memory was painfully vivid now.
“You work for Redstone.”
His voice came out flat, emotionless. Which was a good thing, considering how he was feeling just now. If she lied, if she denied it, he didn’t know what he was going to do.
“I what?”
“Your friend Rand does, too. I finally remembered where I’ve seen him before. You both work for Redstone, don’t you?”
She didn’t lie. She didn’t look happy, but she looked him in the eye and told him the truth.
“Yes.”
The way his gut flinched told him how much he’d been hoping this was somehow all a mistake. He wanted to turn away, to run, hide, pretend this hadn’t happened, that he hadn’t remembered, pretend that Samantha was still just the warm, lovely woman next door who had inexplicably taken him into her life.
But it had happened, he had remembered, and it wasn’t inexplicable any longer. He’d been right all along to suspect her motives for befriending him so quickly and completely.
“Ian—”
“Josh sent you, didn’t he?”
“Yes.”
“I told him no.”
“He’s worried about you.”
“I told him I didn’t want a baby-sitter.”
He knew he was focusing on the wrong thing—Josh going against his expressed wishes. He even knew why he was doing it. Knew he couldn’t let himself come face-to-face with the real betrayal, that Samantha had been lying to him from day one, that his suspicions of her had been right.
“And you can tell him just what I think of his clandestine methods.”
“He did what he had to. Josh doesn’t take any chances with his people. If you don’t know that, there are a lot of people who do.”
He did know. He’d heard the stories before. The rescued hostages, the airlifted earthquake victims, even the family Josh had himself rescued from a burning car. Real hero stuff. The kind of stuff he himself wouldn’t have a clue about. That it was all true only made him feel worse.
“He’s even helped Redstone people with personal things,” Sam added, “up to and including using Draven.”
Even he, tucked away in his lab, had heard of John Draven, the legendary head of Redstone security. The man who had rescued the employees caught up in that Asian drug war, the one to go in and get the Redstone exec who’d been held hostage by extremists in Eastern Europe, and countless others. His name was spoken in tones of awe, admiration and respect.
As Samantha had just spoken it.
“I’ve heard of Draven. He sounds intimidating.”
“He can be, if you’re on the wrong side.”
“So you’re tight with him.”
“We’re all tight, on the team. But yes. He’s a leader in the best sense. Only Josh is more important to me,” she said.
He’d never heard her sound like that. Of course he’d only known her…could it really be only three weeks? But he’d heard women who sounded like that before. Women in love. Which would figure. A woman like Samantha could only love a dangerous man like Draven, as far removed from he himself as any man could be.
“Of course Draven would gag if you told him that,” she added, with a note in her voice that sounded almost wistful. The longing of a woman who knows she can’t have the man she loves? he wondered.
“It must be hard on his family, the work he does. His wife, especially.” It wasn’t subtle, but he wanted to know. Wanted to know just how big a fool he’d been.
“He’s not married. I doubt he ever will be, for that reason and others. But if you need help, he’s your man.”
He heard that undertone again, and was even more certain he was right. The knowledge sharpened the edge in his voice. “I am not helpless, nor am I a hostage who needs rescuing.”
“I know that.” Her voice was gentle now, and he thought he heard a trace of pain in it, but he wasn’t sure. He didn’t want to hear it, anyway; she’d been here under orders, had approached him under orders, become his friend under orders.
Had she let him kiss her under orders, too?
His mind shied violently away from that thought and retreated to the safety of his anger.
“I don’t need a damned bodyguard.”
She winced on the curse, and he wondered if she thought he meant the adjective to apply to her specifically. Right now, he wasn’t sure he didn’t. But she recovered quickly.
“I think what just happened here proves you do need one.”
“He was only after my work, not me.”
He knew it was weak, that had he been inside instead of sitting out on his back patio—pondering the shock of his body’s response to kissing her—he could well have gotten hurt or worse. But he hadn’t been, and he was angry enough to use that fact.
To his surprise she didn’t make that obvious point. Instead, she smiled. “And you protected it rather cleverly.”
For an instant his heart took that same old leap it always had when she smiled at him like that. It took him a moment to quash it with the reminder of what she’d done. That it had been a lie, all of it.
“So you can tell Josh his precautions aren’t—Never mind. I’ll tell him. I’ve got a few other things to say to him.”
“Don’t be mad at Josh. He was only looking out for you.”
“So, I should be mad at you instead?” He couldn’t help the edge of taut emotion that came into his voice. It was his own fault, for half convincing himself that her interest in him, however unlikely, was genuine. “You were only following orders, right? Was that up to and including kissing me? Just how far would you have gone?”
She winced again. “Ian—”
“Have you done this before? How far did it go then? How much do you…sacrifice for your job?”
Samantha drew herself up. “I know you’re angry at me, but that was below the belt.”
It was, and he knew it. For a long moment he simply looked at her. Finally he spoke.
“I am angry with Josh. I told him in no uncertain terms I did not want him to do this. I’m angry at you, too.” He took in a deep breath before adding softly, “But I’m angriest at myself. I’ve felt like a misfit before, I’ve even felt stupid before. But I’ve never in my life felt like such a fool.”
Sorry he’d even said that much, he turned on his heel and walked away from her.
His words echoed in Sam’s head as she stood there, her stomach churning, her heart pounding as it never had when she’d been planning her attack on a burglar. Too much of what Ian had been feeling had shown in his face, even in the faint light. This had hurt him much more than she’d feared it would.
And she was beginning to realize it had hurt her, too. She had the feeling it was going to be a while before she knew just how much.
I’ve never in my life felt like such a fool.
The
implications of those particular words took her breath away. They were so much worse than his anger, so much worse than simple embarrassment at having been deceived.
She shivered slightly, much as Ian had. She’d seen it ripple through him and wondered if he’d been feeling the same chill she had.
She had to get moving. Josh needed to know about the break-in. And that her cover had just been blown to bits. She should call him, tell him herself. It was late, but she knew if he didn’t answer, St. John would. Everybody at Redstone knew that; there were rumors that the man never slept, since no matter when you called, he appeared to be awake and alert. And she needed to ask if Josh wanted the police called, now that an actual crime had been committed.
But the last thing she wanted to do was talk to Josh—or St. John—now, when she was so shaken herself. Her disjointed, jumping thoughts told her too well what she’d probably sound like.
She would call Rand. He was running the show on the inside. He could decide what to do next.
Just making that decision calmed her somewhat. Enough, at least, to realize she was still standing in Ian’s yard.
You are a wreck, she told herself as she retreated to the other side of the honeysuckle barrier.
She went inside and then up the stairs. She grabbed the cordless telephone handset and headed for her usual spot on the cushioned window seat. It was doubtful Ian would have any more trouble tonight, but she couldn’t take any chances. He was still her job.
When she finally sat down, she felt an odd weakness in her legs and arms. She felt faintly nauseous. But most of all she felt horribly guilty, more than she’d ever felt in her life. She tried to tell herself it was simply from lying to one of the good guys, that she’d had to do it, she’d had no choice, that it had been for his own good. She told herself all those things, and it didn’t alleviate her guilt one bit.
She’d lied to him from the first day she’d met him, and no amount of rationalization could change that fact. But she’d lied before when it was necessary to get the job done, she’d even lied to Redstone people before, if she’d been undercover inside a Redstone operation, and it hadn’t bothered her.
So why now? The only thing different in this situation was…Ian.
She wrapped her arms around herself and sat staring at the phone she had yet to dial. She had to do it, had to call Rand and let him know what had happened, but she simply couldn’t reach for that phone.
You’re falling for the professor.
Had Rand been right? She liked Ian, had liked him from the beginning, but what Rand was suggesting was something entirely different from casual liking. And he did know her better than most people did.
She could admit she’d grown to more than just like Ian. But…
Slowly, using Draven’s technique, she regained control. And with returning calm came one simple fact: it didn’t matter how she felt about Ian. He was still her assignment, and the fact that now he knew it made no difference. Her job was still to protect him. No matter how angry he was, no matter how justified that anger might be, he was stuck with her until this was over, until Josh called her off. And that would happen when Josh was certain he was safe and not before.
And she was going to have to tell him that.
With a smothered sigh she at last dialed the phone.
He didn’t come out as he usually did when she pulled into his driveway to pick him up the next morning. She took a deep breath and got out of the car. She marched up to his door. She’d been awake most of the night preparing for this, so she was now, as Rand would say, loaded for bear.
She didn’t even give him a chance to speak when he pulled the door open.
“I know you’re mad at me and you have the right to be, but it doesn’t change a thing. It’s still my job to keep you safe, and I intend to do just that. So you might as well resign yourself to it, because you’re stuck with me for the duration. Now let’s go.”
To her surprise he didn’t protest, he didn’t say a word. He picked up the briefcase that was sitting just inside the door and stepped outside, pulling the front door securely closed behind him, even checking to make sure it was locked. She’d heard hammering this morning, and had looked out to see that he’d nailed a board of some kind over the window the burglar had cut through, so the house was as secure as it could be for the moment.
The silence held as he got into her car and fastened his seat belt. He sat staring straight ahead. And stayed that way until they were halfway there. She doubted anything would change the second half of the drive. Except that, she thought as her cell rang.
“Sam? It’s Josh.”
“Yes, sir.”
“Is he with you?”
“Yes, sir.”
She heard Josh sigh. “It’s that bad?”
“If not, then very close.”
“Let me talk to him.”
She silently held the phone out to Ian. He looked at it, glanced at her face, and she saw that he knew perfectly well who it was. After another silent moment, he took the phone and put it to his ear.
“Yes, sir?” he said, with emphasis on the second word.
Whether the tight repetition of her words was a jab at her or the most anger he would allow himself to show his boss she didn’t know. Didn’t want to know. He listened silently for nearly a full minute.
“I realize that,” he said. “I see. That’s…nice to know, I suppose.” And then, after a moment, even more stiffly, “That’s not an issue, sir.”
Sam stifled an inward sigh.
“Yes, sir.”
Without a goodbye, Ian snapped her small phone shut and handed it back to her. Her fingers brushed his as she took it, and he yanked his hand back.
“Ian,” she said.
“I understand you were just doing your job, Miss Beckett.” Josh must have told him her real name, Sam realized, so he knew she’d lied about that, too. “Let’s leave it at that. My problem is with Josh.”
“But you’re angry with me.”
“Yes. But that’s my problem, not Josh’s.”
“I told the truth as much as I could,” she told him. He didn’t react. “Everything except my name and that I work for Redstone.”
“And why you moved in next door and decided to make your odd neighbor your new best friend.”
She’d been better off when he wasn’t speaking to her, she thought wearily.
“I never thought you were odd. And that’s why it was easy. It’s easy to…befriend somebody you like anyway.”
He made a low sound she couldn’t interpret other than to be sure she was far from forgiven. And when he spoke again, his tone made that even clearer.
“So tell me, where did you go when I thought you were at work?”
“To see Billy.”
That startled him. “You mean he’s real? You really have a brother?”
“I told you I gave you truth as much as I could. More than I ever have on a job like this before.”
“And the story about your parents, and you nobly raising your handicapped little brother?”
She flinched. “The story’s true. You’re the one who hung the noble tag on it.”
To her relief, he lapsed back into silence after that. Until the moment the Redstone building came into sight.
“At least you don’t have to hide anymore. You can come right in, instead of sneaking off as if you’d never set foot in the place.”
“I never have.” He stared at her. She could see he thought she was lying. Again. “I haven’t. Josh believes in keeping the security team completely separate from the rest of his operations.”
She wasn’t telling him anything everyone at Redstone didn’t know already. But his expression told her she’d still surprised him.
“I didn’t realize…of course you’re security.” He gave his head a slight shake. “The famous Redstone Security team. I should have known. And I should be flattered, I guess.”
“Ian—”
“I can see why he does i
t. Makes it easier to fool people if they’ve never seen you, doesn’t it?”
She gave up. She wasn’t going to talk him out of his anger now. And she couldn’t blame him. “We rarely have to work inside, the personnel people are very good at screening, but when we do, it’s usually very important. So Josh keeps us as low profile as possible.”
“You work for the famous Draven.”
She nodded. “He trained me.”
Oddly, Ian seemed to give up then. He leaned back in the seat, head against the headrest, and closed his eyes. She wondered if his night had been as sleepless as hers. She thought it probably had been.
He didn’t move until she stopped in front of the Redstone building. He picked up the briefcase and opened the door. Put one foot out and then stopped.
“Josh wants to see me first thing. I’ll be sure and tell him you didn’t screw up. If I hadn’t figured out where I’d seen Rand before, I never would have guessed.”
As reassurance, it failed miserably. As indictment, it succeeded all too well.
Sam watched him go, the ache in her chest growing with his every step.
She wished she could—
She wasn’t sure what she wished. She hadn’t been this confused since she’d been nineteen and facing trying to raise Billy on her own, with what seemed like the entire world lined up against her.
But that was when Josh had stepped in, fixing everything. For everything he’d done for them, she owed him a lot more than just some emotional pain she’d brought on herself by getting too personally involved. It was her own fault, so she would have to live with it. In the meantime she would continue to do the job Josh had asked of her.
And if it hurt even more now, so be it.
Chapter 10
“It was my decision, Ian. Sam was only doing what I told her to do.”
“And well, I might add. Or perhaps I’m just easy to fool.”
Josh studied Ian for a moment. Ian guessed he was analyzing the tone as much as, if not more than, the words. He couldn’t help the sourness in his voice; it was all still too raw. Plus, he was uneasy here in the throne room of the Redstone domain. He hadn’t set foot here since Josh had hired him.
One of These Nights Page 11