The night my mom had died I had done the same thing, finding solace in something routine. So what if I’ve blown my chances with the president of the Satan’s Devils? There was never any chance of me being more than a one night stand whatever happened; he’d said nothing to suggest he’d changed his mind and wanted me to stay. At least I’ve lost my V-card now. And in a rather amazing way. I’ll never forget my first time.
Like a cat I stretch, bowing my back to remove all the kinks. When he’d started moving so gently, so carefully, stimulating my clit and nipples, God how he’d made me come. I’d never dreamt it could be anything like that. I’d thought I was going to pass out.
As my memory goes over how he’d made me feel, my nipples grow hard once more, and I give myself a mental slap. If I ever see him again, which seems unlikely, I’ve got to be cool and collected and can’t have my lady parts signalling I want another round. Just no way. It’s going to be embarrassing enough as it is.
I don’t regret sending him away. What could we have said? In the morning I’ll be on my Vincent and away in the wind. There’s no future for us. And even if I was staying, I’m hardly old lady material for the president of the Satan’s Devils.
Chapter 12
Drummer
As soon as I left the shop, I knew I’d made a huge fucking mistake. Sam isn’t a club whore or one of the girls from Tucson. She wasn’t even experienced, and yet she’d given me, or allowed me to take, the greatest gift that she could. And like an awkward teenager who didn’t know any different, I’d jumped at the paltry excuse she’d given me afterwards, and had left her alone.
I should be there for her, caring for her. Helping her come to terms with what transpired between us. Looking forward to round two. Oh, for fuck’s sake! When will my cock ever learn? I adjust myself in my pants as memories of just how tight she’d been return to me. Yeah, she was tight because no one had ever taken her before.
Mine. All mine. And fuck me if that thought doesn’t make me glow.
She’ll be gone in the morning.
“Where the fuck you been?” Viper’s sharp eyes are staring at my groin and he couldn’t have failed to miss seeing my hands making myself comfortable.
My eyes narrow at the pitch of his voice, normally he’d know better than to use that tone with me. “None of your fuckin’ business,” I reply, while a voice at the back of my head reminds me it was his daughter I’d just deflowered.
Maybe it’s the guilt of that thought that shows in my eyes, but something makes him suspicious. He comes up close, invading my personal space. As his hand points down toward the gates of the compound, I grasp he’d seen me walking up the track. Smart man, he’s put two and two together. “You been with Sam?” Spit loaded with beer lands on my face.
I wipe it away. “So what if I fuckin’ have? You want nothin’ to do with her!” If it weren't for him, she wouldn’t have to leave.
“That’s not the fuckin’ point,” he yells, but this time I’ve taken a step backwards. We’re right outside the clubhouse. If he wants to keep his relationship with her quiet, he needs to tone it down.
I give a pointed look to where Dart and Slick are standing having a cigarette. “Viper,” I start with a bit of bite, “Unless you’ve changed your mind about everyone knowin’ I’d keep it quiet if I were you.”
I don’t know whether it’s the drink talking or whether he’s been rethinking the situation, but he keeps coming for me. I take another step back.
The muscles on his arms are bulging, and I start to get a bad feeling. I watch his hands, curled into fists, tapping against his thighs. His face is as dark as I’ve ever seen it, his mouth twisted into a scowl. Another step back, he takes one more in my direction, and then another, bringing him up close.
“You fucked my fuckin’ daughter!” Suddenly he screeches and lurches forward at the same time, bringing up his fist.
He’s right, that’s exactly what I have done. I make no move to defend myself as he throws the first punch, understanding he deserves at least one. My head rocks back with the force of it. Ruefully my hand rubs my jaw, and my tongue counts my teeth. All seem in place.
“Someone get Peg!” Dart’s voice shouts from behind me. Momentarily distracted I turn to tell him not to bother and doing so miss the fist that knocks the air out of my stomach and puts me on the ground.
Dart and Slick, their cigarettes quickly discarded, move forward and each takes hold of one of Viper’s arms. He tries to shake them off, but they’ve got him in a tight grip.
I’m rolling on the floor, clearly lit by the lights on the outside of the clubhouse. Suddenly Viper’s eyes open wide, his mouth works and again he tries to get free, almost managing to shake off his captors with his rage fuelled strength. Unable to escape, he makes do with a gesture from his head. This time when he speaks, his voice has gone up an octave. “What the fuck have you done to her?” A look of fright crosses his face. “If you’ve fuckin’ hurt her, I’ll kill you.”
Why would he think I’d hurt her? I look down at myself and see… Oh, fuck!
I rush to put his mind at ease, my hands fluttering up in supplication. “Viper, no brother. I didn’t hurt her. I promise you. Fuck, you know me better than that.”
“Then who’s blood is that on your jeans?” In his surprise, Dart has let go of one of Viper’s arms, and his shaking hand is pointing at my groin, which had got smeared in her blood as I’d tucked myself away. “Is it yours?”
Oh fuck, how am I going to get out of this? “It’s hers,” I admit, “But it’s not what you think.”
Thankfully Dart’s fast, reacting to Viper’s first movement and having him back in his hold before he can come at me again. Once again restrained, all Viper can do is screech, “Then you did fuckin’ hurt her. I’m gonna fuckin’ end you!”
I roll and get to my feet. “No,” I shout back, the unjust accusation making my tongue loose and words coming out before I can think what I’m saying. “She was a virgin!”
I hadn’t noticed the music had been turned down, nor that at some point during the exchange all my brothers had come outside. Yes, every single one of them. Including the two newly patched over.
Peg pushes his way through. “What the fuck’s going on here?” He looks from me to Viper. That there’s blood on my chin becomes clear when the sergeant-at-arms grimaces and peers at my injury. “You okay, Prez?”
“I’m fine.” I push his arm away.
“I’m gonna kill him! Let me go!” Viper’s struggling, trying to get away from his captors. If they release him, I think he’ll have a fucking good try.
“What the fuck’s got into you, Viper?” Peg snarls at him. “What’s the prez done to hurt you?”
And then it all comes out. Viper screams at the top of his voice, and while I’m sure it isn’t intentional, it’s loud enough that everyone hears. “He fuckin’ raped my fuckin’ daughter. And not only that, she was a fuckin’ virgin!”
Jesus! It wasn’t rape. And there’s part of me that wants to say there’s no such thing as a fucking virgin, but I hold my tongue, knowing levity wouldn’t be welcomed at this precise time. In fact, in the stunned silence that follows his announcement, I’m not sure what would be the right thing to say. Great, so everyone now knows what a bastard I am.
But Viper isn’t going to leave it there. Now that everyone knows he seems to relax. At a signal from Peg, Dart and Slick release him. Viper steps forward. “You raped her, fucked her, and walked away from her. Just like you treat the club whores.”
I’ve got to put a stop to that right now. “I did not rape her! I have never taken a woman by force.” I look around checking everyone heard my denial, and to show he’s making it into something it isn’t, add, “It wasn’t like that.”
“Well tell me what the fuck it is like then? You fucked her, now you’re here? Why aren’t you with her? Or why isn’t she here with you.” I can see tears in his eyes. “You took advantage of her, you fuckin’ sorry excuse for a
man. Her first time and you walk out and leave her.”
“Viper,” Peg’s calm voice seems to get through to him. Viper turns wet eyes on him. “Never knew you had a daughter. Who and where is she?”
I realise that’s what everyone else wants to know, and feel some compassion for Viper. There’s no way he can keep this secret now.
As Viper’s gaze turns to me and he seems to slump in defeat, I know this is the very last way he would ever have wanted it to come out. Or in any way. As if hoping I’ll be able to come up with some explanation, he allows a few seconds to pass before responding to Peg. And then he says simply, but loud enough for everyone to hear, “It’s Sam. Sam’s my daughter.”
As everyone starts talking at once, all manner of questions he won’t want to answer coming at him from all directions, I know it’s time for me to take control. Even though they’ll have little respect for me right now, I use my most authoritative voice. “Quiet! That Sam is Viper’s daughter is his business, not ours. He’ll tell you what he wants you to know when he’s ready.”
There are murmurs of discontent, the brothers can be nosy busybodies at times, and I let that die down before I continue, “And what’s gone down between Sam and myself is equally nothin’ to do with any of you.”
“It is,” Viper says quietly, “If it was rape.”
What? I thought I’d already made it clear it was consensual. But you didn’t give her much say in the matter.
“You’ve got her blood on your clothes.”
I lift my head to the heavens and back down again. “Viper, you’ve known me years. Have you ever known me to take a woman who didn’t want to be taken? Come on, man, think about it. Would I do that to her? To you?”
“Then why didn’t you stay with her?”
It’s the question I’d been asking myself. “You’re right, I shouldn’t have fuckin’ left her,” I tell him. “I’ll go back and see her now.”
“No, no you fuckin’ won’t. I will.”
“Viper, think about it. She’s upset…”
“So you admit that? You motherfucker!”
I seem to be digging a deeper and deeper hole. I take in a sharp breath, trying to keep hold of my temper. “Listen the fuck to me! She’s upset because it was overwhelmin’.” Fuck, it was like that for both of us, and I have to admit it. “For me too. What happened wasn’t planned, it took us both by surprise. I had no idea…” Well, reminding them right now that I’d taken her virginity was probably not the best thing, so I just break off and shake my head. “Last time you spoke to her you disowned her completely. Let her have some peace tonight, think it through. Speak to her tomorrow.”
He spits on the ground, it narrowly misses my boot. “I’m gonna go speak to my fuckin’ daughter now. Get her side of the story. This is me steppin’ up, like I should have done all along. Then, perhaps,” he pauses and points a finger at me, “Then you wouldn’t have had a chance to shame her. She’d have been under my protection.” He’s right, as a club member’s daughter none of us would have been able to touch her. Not even me.
“What d’you want us to do, Viper?” Peg’s not even looking at me now, and instead looks to his brother for direction.
“Watch this prick while I go get to the fuckin’ truth.” With that parting shot, Viper spins on his heel and walks off down to see Sam.
As Peg goes to take my arm I brush him off. Looking at the others, I see them averting their eyes as if they can’t look at me. I shouldn’t have left her. But it’s too late to recognise that now.
With my head held high, I walk into the clubhouse and go straight to my office, shutting the door, and shutting all of them out. I pull a bottle of Jack out of my drawer and declining to search for a glass, take a swig. It’s going to be a long night.
Chapter 13
Sam
Still engrossed polishing the Vincent, the sound of the door to the shop opening makes me jump. Has he come back? But it’s not Drummer’s voice I hear calling out.
“Lookin’ good, darlin’.” The compliment is thrown out in a tentative manner.
My body tenses as I recognise who’s speaking. Last time I heard him, he was shouting at me to get gone and to stay away. What does he want? Perhaps he’s making sure I’ll really will be back on my bike and out of his life tomorrow.
I stand, rubbing my hands on a cloth to remove the Autosol, hesitant to turn around and see the sneering expression on his face. Tonight’s been enough of an emotional roller coaster, and I’m not sure I can take much more. My back stiff, I respond over my shoulder, “Look, Viper, I’m going to be out of here in the morning. You don’t need to tell me again.” I don’t want to face him. Not now.
“That’s not why I’m here.” There’s still that touch of hesitation in his voice.
What else could it possibly be? It’s unlikely he’s had a last-minute change of heart. “Then why?” I’m tired and drained.
Footsteps approach, and he’s standing at my side. “She’s beautiful. I can’t believe it’s the same heap of junk that was in that barn. You really do all the work on it yourself?”
“Every last bit.” I can’t keep the pride out of my voice. I still don’t turn toward him. He sounds conciliatory, but is he? But if I have the chance to exchange a few words with my father without shouting involved, shouldn’t I take it? If not, I might always regret it. Now could be the time to explain why I made the journey. “When Mom told me about you, I wanted you to see it.” My voice breaks off.
“You’re showing me what I could never have.”
“No, no.” I stop him; it’s not like that at all. “I wanted to show you what I’d done with it.” Oh, to hell with it, I might as well admit it. “I think I wanted you to be proud of me. Stupid, huh? I knew nothing about you, why should I have thought for a moment you’d be interested in me? I should never have come here.” I toss the rag I’d used to clean my hands into the bin.
“Oh, Sam,” his voice hitches. “We need to talk.”
Now I do turn around. I see him clenching his jaw. For a moment there I thought things had changed, but obviously he’s still angry with me. “I don’t think there’s much more to say. Not tonight, Viper. I’ve had enough tonight.”
“That right there! It’s Drummer, isn’t it? What the fuck did he do to you?” His eyes blaze into mine, but this time it’s not me he’s angry at.
An inappropriate urge to giggle comes over me. Viper sounds like a concerned father about to berate his teenage daughter. But his eyes narrow as I delay giving him a reply. Is he worried on my behalf? “Nothing.” It’s such an awkward position to be in.
He reaches out his hand, and after a slight hesitation rests it on my cheek, his thumb gently stroking away an errant tear escaping from my eye. It’s an odd sensation. I don’t know this man, but the genetic link between us seems to fool my brain into thinking I do. I lean into the touch, welcoming the comfort.
“Did he force you?” The words come out through gritted teeth. Has Drummer told him what happened? Why the fuck would he do that? Suddenly I’m angry. Did he return to the clubhouse and boast about taking me? Boast to Viper?
I step away. “No.” The word manages to convey my astonishment that he’s asked such a question. “Of course he didn’t. And how the fuck do you know? What’s he been saying?”
“He said nothin’,” he reassures me. “Until I beat it out of him.”
“What?” He hit Drummer? His president?
“Knew somethin’ had happened, girl. But you have to tell me. Did he hurt ya?”
“No,” I tell him again, watching as the lines on his brow start to smooth out, but he still seems to need more of a confirmation,
“Are you sure, Sam? What did he do to you?”
This time I shake my head adamantly. “It’s none of your business, Viper. And what happened happened between two adults. It was fully consensual. And I don’t want to talk about it.”
“He did hurt you.”
“No.” Why w
on’t he let it drop? I’m not going into details. “Look, Viper, I’m twenty-six years old. I think that’s more than old enough to know my mind and who I want to go to bed with.” But there was no bed involved, only a wall.
He has the grace to look embarrassed for a moment, then the anger returns. “If you’re not tellin’ me the truth, if you’re protectin’ him for some reason, I’ll kill him. Prez or not.”
I heave a sigh. “He didn’t hurt me, and I’m not protecting him. There, have we got that straight right now?”
“He didn’t treat ya right. Leavin’ ya like he’d leave a whore.”
I correct him. “I sent him away.”
We stare at each other, neither backing down. Him trying to get me to tell him what happened, me trying to convey that it’s none of his business. At last, he shakes his head, “Stubborn.” There’s a hint of a smile as he says it. “Just like your ol’ man.”
Thankfully, at last, he’s dropping the subject, turning away and starting to examine the Vincent instead. “I owe you a fuckin’ apology, girl. And an explanation.”
Tonight might be the first and last time I get to speak with my father. If he wants to talk, and as long as he avoids the subject of Drummer, I’m ready to listen. There’s beer in the fridge in the kitchen—I’ve learned beer and bikers are never far apart—so I go and collect a couple of bottles and returning, hand one to him. He breaks off the top and gulps some down. Then he props himself up against a work bench.
“You,” he points at me. “You’re a fuckin’ surprise.” I nod, knowing my appearance must have shocked the hell out of him. He huffs a short laugh and shakes his head.
“I’m sorry.” When I came to find him, I hadn’t considered the possible consequences. Losing my mom had probably warped my thinking. I’d given no thought to the implications for him. Suddenly I feel guilty. “It must have been one heck of a surprise, especially when you never wanted kids.”
Drummer's Beat (Satan's Devils #2) (Satan's Devils MC) Page 11