His scent gave him away.
He was wearing the Dolce & Gabanna Light Blue cologne that I’d bought him for Christmas last year. It was all he seemed to wear and I both loved and hated it.
The bed dipped under his bulky form, and I twisted to switch on my bedside lamp.
“Reid?”
His green eyes were watching me – green eyes that showed nothing, hid everything, and still managed to pierce me to the very depths of my soul.
“What are you doing here?” I asked. I sat up, holding my comforter to my chest like armor.
“Kennedy said you weren’t feeling well,” he replied, rubbing his hands over his rather tired looking face. A face I’d never been able to envision my future without. “I wanted to come and make sure you were okay.”
He was wearing dark jeans, with a thick jacket to ward of the winter temperatures, and his favorite black boots. With disheveled blond hair, and a slight scruff on his jaw, he looked every bit the sexy football player he was.
But I couldn’t say that.
His concern came of no surprise, his need to stop by, however, did. “I’m fine.” There was that pesky fucking word again.
Fine.
I was not fine.
I was anything but fun.
I yawned, and covered it with my mouth.
“Does Stella know you’re here?”
Reid sighed, and pulled his hands through his hair. He looked frustrated. Exasperated even. “Yeah. We had a fight about it.”
“Of course you did,” I said flatly. “But what I don’t understand is that if you knew coming to check on me would upset her, then why’d you come?”
Hurt flitted across his rugged features, and I looked away. I couldn’t deal with seeing him hurt, not while I was still nursing my own wounds.
“Because you’re my best friend, Jade,” he replied simply.
It was anything but simple.
“Well there’s no need for you to check up on me if your girlfriend doesn’t like it. I don’t want to be the source of anymore conflict between the two of you.”
Reid flinched at my clipped tone and his shoulders slumped in what I could only assume was defeat.
“I don’t care what she says,” he replied quietly. “If I want to check on you then I damn well can, and I will.”
“Is that why you’ve stayed away from me since you started dating her?” I shot back. I wanted to blame him for some of what had happened between us, even though I knew I had no right to.
Our gazes collided, my brown to his green, and I saw his eyes flash with a hint of anger.
“You’re just as guilty, Jade. You won’t even meet my eyes when we’re in the same room.”
“You’re right,” I swallowed. “You’ll have to forgive me for being unable to stomach the sight of you with someone else when it should be me.”
His face fell, matching my own sad expression. “You didn’t want us to be together, and I’m just trying to honor that.”
“By being with Stella.”
“By trying like hell to move on.”
That stung, but I refused to let him see it. I was only allowed to fall apart on the inside, never the outside. “Right.”
The silence, so thick, and cold, cloaked us, and as much as I wanted to hash it all out with him, I knew it was too late for our friendship. I’d done a bang up job of fucking it up by asking him to sleep with me when we were in Barcelona for my grandmothers’ funeral last November, and again when I miraculously fell into his bed again right before finals in December. He’d wanted us to step outside of our friendship, and make it more, but I couldn’t give it to him. I was too afraid of losing our friendship, and in the end I’d lost it anyway. Now he had someone else, and I had no one. But what hurt more than any of that was that I no longer had Reid.
“You’ve checked on me,” I said, looking away. “You can leave now, before Stella comes looking for you.”
I switched my bedside lamp off, and curled back under the covers, not caring that he was still there or sitting in the dark.
I wanted us to go back to the way things were.
I wanted my Reid back.
If only I weren’t too stubborn to tell him.
Chapter 2
Jade
Cabo
The hotel we were staying in was gorgeous, and swarming with college students on their Spring Break vacation. Our plane had landed a few hours ago, and we’d been checked in before deciding to roam around. The building itself looked incredible, and the resort boasted a stunning view of the horizon with crystal blue swimming pools, a private beach, and luxury suites. I’d opted for a two-bedroom suite, and was happy to find out that my friend Grady was sharing with me.
“I’m going down to the bar,” said Grady. “You want to join me?”
His sandy blond hair was perfectly styled to the side, and he was wearing jean shorts, cut off at the knee, and a white polo shirt with a light blue sweater draped over his shoulders. He was gorgeous - and very gay.
“That’s okay,” I replied. “I’m going to take a walk on the beach. I’ll catch up with you later.”
“You sure?”
“Yeah. I want to put my feet in the water before nightfall.”
“Okay, my tootsie roll,” – he kissed my forehead – “See you at dinner?”
I smiled. “I’ll be there.”
He left, and as soon as the door clicked shut, I dropped onto the plush queen-sized bed and felt my body finally start to relax. I’d been tossing and turning all night after my talk with Reid, and hadn’t been able to let go of my restlessness until we’d arrived at our resort. I might’ve not been looking forward to spending my week with couples – gag – but I had to admit it felt nice to get away.
** ** ** ** **
“Where were you this afternoon?” Asked Kennedy. “When I went to your room earlier no one answered.” She was seated next to me at our round dinner table with Dane on her other side.
I sipped my water, and angled my body so that I could talk to her while I had the chance. Dane was deep in conversation with Reid, so I had a few minutes before he demanded Kennedy’s attention away from everyone else.
“I went to the beach, and then took a nap. I think something we ate on the plane made me sick.”
I’d been feeling nauseas all afternoon, and only felt slightly better after sleeping for an hour before we came to dinner. I must’ve looked like I was sulking for some reason, but I couldn’t be bothered with idle conversation. I had no idea what was going on with me. Maybe it was because all these couples surrounded me, or maybe it was seeing Reid with Stella. They were seated next to Dane, and from my peripheral I could make out that Stella was scowling at the side of Reid’s head while he was talking to Dane. Bitch hated being ignored – I knew that much – and made it clear to everyone that she preferred having Reid’s attention all to herself. I’d never been able to picture him with someone like her, although I suspected that had more to with being unable to picture him with anyone who wasn’t me.
“Did you take something for it?”
Kennedy brought me back from my mindless musings, and I patted her leg in reassurance. “Don’t worry about me. I’m sure whatever it is will pass by morning.”
The chair on my other side shifted, and I looked up to see Grady holding three very colorful cocktails. He took a seat, and passed one to Kennedy, before handing the second to me, and taking the third for himself.
“What are we drinking?” I asked, eyeing the multitude of colors swirling around in the tall, curvy glass.
Grady grinned, his eyes bright with mischief. “I had these made for us – that barman is so hot by the way – and have aptly named it the ‘Cabo Cock’.”
“How appropriate,” I snickered. Kennedy coughed, and wiped her mouth. “Considering the only two people at this table who aren’t getting any cock are you and me.”
“Oh baby girl, I got the barman’s digits,” he winked. “Looks like you’re the on
ly one not getting any at this table.”
“Speaking of,” intercepted Kennedy. “Where are Ash, and Chase?”
She gave me a look that said her interruption was for my benefit, and I was silently grateful. I didn’t need a reminder that I was here as a ‘singular’.
“Ugh,” groaned Grady. “Probably upstairs fucking like horny little rabbits.”
My eyes bugged out and Kennedy spluttered, “What?!?!”
Grady covered his mouth, and muttered “Oops” behind his hand.
“I thought you guys knew,” he said, looking between Kennedy and me.
“NO!” I replied. “When did that happen?”
“Started up a few weeks ago.” Grady looked up, and his mouth tipped into a wicked smile. “And speak of the two little devils now.”
Kennedy and I swiveled our heads just as Chase and Ashley were walking towards our table. She was in front of him, but judging from their flushed faces, and disheveled appearances they were in fact upstairs...
“Sorry I’m late,” said Ashley. “I overslept after my afternoon siesta.”
“Sure you did,” replied Grady, which earned him a slap on his arm from Chase as he took a seat next to his brother. “Ouch, you asshole. What was that for?”
Chase glared at Grady, and there was some kind of silent conversation going on between the two of them. Ashley took the only open seat opposite me – between Chase and Stella - and started fiddling with her napkin. I wasn’t surprised that something had been going on between the two of them. After Chase had sorted his hormones out, and gotten over what he thought he felt for Kennedy, he’d started hanging out with us a lot more, and watching a few interactions between him and Ashley, I predicted it was just a matter of time before they decided to put all that sexual tension to good use.
What I didn’t understand was why they kept it a secret.
With our table complete, everyone in our group slipped into conversation, like they always did when we were all together. The only person who looked bored and uninterested was Stella. Then again, she always looked like she’d eaten shit for breakfast – her face had a permanent scowl, unless she was hanging all over Reid. Then she just looked like a desperate hooker.
“Keep staring at Reid and the Hobbit will hack you into pieces in your sleep tonight,” muttered Kennedy.
My brows dipped into a frown. “I wasn’t staring.”
“You kinda were,” said Grady.
Jesus. Was I that obvious? I hadn’t even realized I’d been staring until Kennedy and Grady had pointed out. Luckily Stella was too busy whispering something into Reid’s ear to notice, so I was safe from her incessant need to kill me. For now.
We ordered dinner, and I hadn’t realized how hungry I was until I started eating. The food was incredible, and even after having sushi for a light starter I still put a good dent in my main course. It wasn’t until dessert that I started to feel like I’d eaten too much. I sat back in my chair, and rubbed my hands over my flat stomach.
“I think we should all go for a swim,” said Kennedy. “It’s still early enough.”
“Anything to see you in a bikini, Kitten,” replied Dane. He leaned down and kissed that spot below her ear, causing her to giggle. It was both sweet and sickening to watch, really. She was so happy, and I couldn’t think of anyone more deserving, but I found myself feeling a little envious too.
Despite what people thought I wasn’t a hussy. I’d only ever slept with three guys, one of which was Reid. I hadn’t been with anyone else since him, and I worried that it would take me months, or even years to have the courage to date.
“I could use a cool down,” I said, pushing my plate away. “This heat is going to drive me up the wall.”
I was sweating, and it was one of the most unattractive things to have happen, but the hot sticky air clung to my skin and a swim actually sounded perfect. I could find a corner to sit in, away from my horny, over-affectionate friends that had a hard time being decent in public.
And I can avoid seeing Reid and Stella.
“Well what the fuck are we waiting for you skinny bitches, let’s get going.”
I laughed at Grady’s unfiltered comment. He had an uncanny ability to say the crudest thing in the funniest way, and let’s face it, some things don’t seem as offensive coming from a gay guy.
He took my hand, and helped me from my chair.
“C’mon, sweet cheeks, let’s go before these freaks start giving the other guests a fucking sex show.”
He dragged me away from our table, and I almost tripped going up the stairs.
“Dios Mio, Grady, what’s the damn hurry?”
The elevator doors opened just as we reached them, and he pulled us inside before our friends could catch up.
“The hurry,” he said, banging on our floor button, “is that you need to look shit hot so that Reid will come to his fucking senses and ditch that hobbit. Bitch has been trying to kill you with her squint eyes all night, and I had to stop myself from flying across that table to slap her to Siberia.”
“You’re ridiculous,” I laughed. “Reid seems to be into her, so why should I care?”
He looked at me incredulously, and when the elevator doors chimed, he pulled me to our room. “Reid has been seduced by her hobbit vagina, and he needs to see that the person he belongs with is actually a hot, stubborn Spanish babe. Now tell me you brought a sexy as fuck bikini, or else I’ll send you down there in your birthday suit.”
I sighed. “I don’t want to cause drama, Grady. I’d rather just avoid them altogether. In fact, I think it would be a good idea if I stayed right here.”
He rested his hands on my bare shoulders and shook me. “What is going on with you right now my tootsie roll? Where’s the feisty Jade that never backed down from a challenge? Where’s the girl who was ready to spit fire at anyone who even thought of crossing her?”
I’d been wondering the same thing for quite some time. I was waiting for the moment where I snapped out of my funk, and returned to normal.
But that was pre having-sex-with-my-best-friend-turned-friend-turned-stranger. Grady couldn’t possibly understand what had transpired between Reid and me, but I loved him for wanting to coax Feisty Jade out of hiding. Maybe I needed him to kick my butt.
“You’re going to have to help me find here,” I said quietly.
Grady’s face broke out into a gentle smile, and he cupped my cheek. “For you my sexy amigo, I will cut a bitch if it means we get the old Jade back.” He spun me around, and shoved me towards my luggage. “Now, go change.”
With a tap on the butt, I walked towards my luggage, and took out the several bikinis’ I’d brought on the trip.
Grady was right. I’d been in hiding, and it had to change. Grady didn’t need to know that I had no desire to get Reid’s attention while we were here, but if going along with our stupid plan would somehow bring a semblance of my old self back I’d try anything.
ILoveDPG
Chapter 3
Jade
The Pool
I strolled down to the pool, and within fifteen minutes Grady had abandoned our plan for the cute bartender who’d made our cocktails earlier. Secretly I was relieved. His idea to get Reid’s attention felt a little juvenile at best and I knew I would regret starting a game I couldn’t finish. So I slipped my sandals off, adjusted my leopard print monokini and stepped into to temperate water, away from the other students who’d had the same idea to take a late night dip.
I waded through the water, trailing my fingers through the ripples, until I reached the deep end where the water slipped over the edge. The view was magnificent, peaceful, still. A sharp contrast to everything I’d been feeling in the last few weeks. I soaked it up, pushing away the subdued thoughts occupying my mind.
A burst of shrill laughter infiltrated the quiet, and I spun my head around. I wished I hadn’t.
Reid had just stepped into the water on the other side, and he lifted his arms to help Stella in
to the water. She smiled at him, her eyes turning up at the sides, and leaned down to kiss him. I should’ve looked away, but I was a glutton for punishment and just continued to stare. Her eyes lifted, and I swore her mouth tilted into a smirk all the while her lips moved against Reid’s. She was taunting me, dangling Reid in front of me like a damn bone.
I had to hand it to her though. She knew what she was doing, and if her aim was to hurt me, it was working.
Bitch.
I looked away, and rested my arms one the side of the pool. I wasn’t sure I was going to last an entire week, but wouldn’t leaving mean that Stella had won?
Not really, I realized.
She’d already won.
She had Reid.
The water moved next to me, and I looked to the side just as Kennedy stopped next to me. Her blonde hair was piled up on top of her head and her dark purple bikini matched the dyed tips.
“You look lost in thought,” she commented. “Anything you want to talk about?”
“Not really,” I replied. “Not much worth talking about I’m afraid.”
More laughter came from behind us, and I knew it was Stella without having to turn around. Kennedy looked over her shoulder, and let out an annoyed groan. “Can she be any more of an exhibitionist? God, she’s such an attention whore.”
I didn’t say anything. I didn’t want to turn in their direction and see Stella having fun with Reid.
God, I was so pathetic. I was starting to piss myself off with the whole ‘woe is me’ routine. It had to stop.
Sadly, I could only think of one way to do that.
Cut the few ties I had left keeping me tethered to Reid.
I had to put our lifetime of memories we’d made into a box, and keep them there, at least until it didn’t hurt so much anymore.
“Just ignore them,” I finally said. “She’s not worth it.”
“Are you okay being here, Jade? I mean, with having to see them together?”
“I’m trying to be,” I replied honestly. “I can’t blame him for moving on when I pushed him away.”
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