Matt was grinning. "I heard that."
"Why are you laughing? If everyone starts thinking I'm dating you, then they're going to think you're dating me. Won't Liz get mad?"
"Oh, I can explain it. She's cool. She'd think it's a riot." He chuckled. "Guess you're getting payback for that lie, huh? How does it feel?"
"Shut up." I folded my arms across my chest and tried to make my brain function. My friends and my parents and my cross-country team all thought I was dating Matt, and since I had to keep hanging out with him every friggin' day, how was I going to explain it away? Or maybe I didn't need to ... "You think Zach will be more likely to notice me if he believes I have a boyfriend? It might make him more aware that I'm a girl, don't you think?"
Matt's grin faded and he looked uncomfortable—you know that look boys always get when you talk about relationships and stuff. "Beats me."
I rubbed my chin. "That might work. We could pretend to date for a while, enough for Zach to want me. Then when we finish with the tutoring, we could 'break up' and Zach could finally have me for his own."
"Are you deaf? I have a girlfriend."
"Well, if she's out of town, then the boyfriend thing shouldn't matter, right? Besides, you already said you could explain it."
"Yeah, but..."
"You have to hang out with me anyway, right? It wouldn't require you to do anything other than not deny it." I narrowed my gaze. "No more kissing me, though."
He grinned again. "You liked that? I thought it was a good move."
I had to admit, he'd done a great job of making the whole thing appear like the real deal. Not that I'd tell him that. "You're not a good kisser."
"Trust me, that wasn't all I've got."
I suddenly felt very embarrassed. Matt the geeky brain with some serious kissing skills and a hot girlfriend? Not at all what I'd have expected.
It didn't matter though. Totally irrelevant to what I needed to convince him to do. I leaned back in my chair and gave him my "I'm tough" look that I send other competitors before a race. "What do you want?"
"To get to work. I don't want to spend all night here:" He unzipped my backpack and pulled my book out.
"I'll bribe you to pretend you're my boyfriend." What would a guy like Matt like? He already earned good money from tutoring, he already had a hot girlfriend, and he had a great bike. What else would he want? I didn't have much experience with geeks, except for my dad, of course, and he—
I stopped as an idea popped into my head. A brilliant, amazing and fantastic idea.
"Let's start with chapter three." He opened my book and thumbed through to the right page. "We'll start with a recap of what we learned in class today, okay?"
"My dad's a physics professor at a local college," I said.
I saw a flicker of interest on his face before he spun my book around to face me. "Got a pencil and paper? Ready to take notes?"
"He always hires a couple of people to do research for him over the summer." I crossed my fingers behind my back, and my ankles under the table. Based on Matt's math interest, I was hoping he was also a science aficionado. Didn't math and science go together?
"I'm sure he hires college kids." Matt pulled out the syllabus. "I figure we'll spend the first half of tonight on tomorrow's assignment, then we'll spend the rest of the time going over stuff from the beginning of the semester. We'll keep splitting our sessions like that until you understand everything we've done so far this year."
"He wants you to come to dinner," I tossed out casually as I pulled my book toward me, pretending like it was no big deal. "So he can get to know you."
That got his attention. "Really?"
"Yeah. My parents are hoping you'll be a good influence on me." I propped my chin on my hand and gave him an innocent look. "They'll do anything to keep you around if they believe you can get me to take school more seriously."
Matt tapped the end of his pen on the table. "How do I know you're telling the truth?"
I grinned. "Come to dinner and find out for yourself. I'll talk you up from the job perspective, and then you can grill him and see if it's legit. If it is, then you have incentive to stick around and be my boyfriend."
He began twirling the pencil between his fingers, studying me intensely. "And then when we 'break up'?"
Fair question. "I'll make sure it's amicable so he doesn't hate you." I opened my notebook, trying not to show how badly I needed him to say yes, to agree to the boyfriend lie so I could stay on the team, and win over Zach.
He stuck the end of the pen between his teeth and chewed. I could see the glow of interest in his eyes, even behind his glasses. "If, and I'm only saying if, I go to dinner and I get convinced that the job opportunity is legit, then you can't 'break up' with me until I get the offer. And then after that, the 'break up' will be on my terms so it doesn't mess up the job."
"Hey! I have some standards too. The 'breakup' has to make me look desirable to Zach as well."
He nodded slowly. "We can probably float that."
"Not 'probably.' It's a deal breaker. I want Zach."
"And I want a job."
"I know."
We stared at each other for about an eternity. Then I passed out from holding my breath and gave myself a concussion when I hit the corner of the table.
Just kidding.
I was holding my breath, though.
Finally, he shrugged. "It's worth checking out. When's dinner?"
Somehow, I managed to restrain myself from jumping on top of the table and screaming victory. Instead, I called my mom. "Mom, I'm with Matt right now, and he said he'd be up for dinner. When?"
I heard her talk to my dad, then she came back on. "Friday night? Seven o'clock? Then maybe he can stay for the evening and we can all play games."
Gah. How embarrassing. Games with my family? I hit mute on the phone. "Seven on Friday? Then some family game time?" I added the last as a joke, but Matt nodded.
"Sounds good. It'll give me some quality interaction time with your dad."
Super. So we were on for family game night. All my friends were out on dates, and I was going to be playing Trivial Pursuit with my parents and my fake boyfriend? Things were looking worse by the minute, and it was all Ms. Olsen's fault. I unmuted the phone. "We'll be there."
"Don't sound so excited about it," my mom said.
Darn. "I am excited. I'm just tired." I eyed Matt. "Matt and I are studying at the library and I'm kinda fried."
"You're studying? Again? Two nights in a row?"
I rolled my eyes. "Yeah. It's the only way I get to spend time with him, since he studies all the time. Did I tell you he gets straight A's in both math and science?" I cocked an eyebrow at Matt, and he nodded his affirmation. Brain. "And he's really interested in talking to Dad about physics."
Matt grinned and I heard my mom pass the message on to my dad. She came back on. "Dad's excited. He doesn't get many captive audiences around the dinner table."
"Matt can't wait. See ya." I hung up and tossed my phone on the desk. "Happy? They love you already."
He shrugged, but he did look pleased. "It's a good start... if there really is a job. If there isn't, I'll tell them in the middle of dinner that I'm tutoring you."
"What?" What was wrong with him? Why was he so hostile to me? "Why would you do that?"
"Because I don't like being made a fool of by jocks. So be warned and cancel dinner if it's a joke."
"You think I'm the type to jerk you around?" I stared at him, my heart sinking. He thought I was a bad person? I mean, yeah, I wasn't that smart, and I didn't have a boyfriend or a social life, but that wasn't because there was anything wrong with me… right? I mean, my friends still liked me and all.
"You're a jock, aren't you?"
That's what this was about? He was judging me because I ran? I felt my insides shrivel a little. Running was the only thing I was good at, and he thought it made me a bad person? That was the only thing I had that made me worth anything!
I clenched my jaw and lifted my chin. "Get over your jock issues already."
He narrowed his eyes. "It's going to be a real treat being your boyfriend."
"Back at you with that one." Someday, if I ever got a real boyfriend, he was actually going to think what I did was decent. I mean, Colin had thought Blue was awesome in her musical, even though she was a terrible singer and dancer. That's the way it was supposed to be, right? It was bad enough to be stuck with a tutor, but one that also made me feel even worse than I already did? I didn't need that. It was time to figure out math and get away from Matt. I held up my book. "Shall we? I'd like to be freed from this torture as soon as possible."
"Fine with me." With a not-so-friendly look at me, he bent over the book and began to explain things that made no sense, and my hope that I was going to magically figure out math immediately faded, replaced by a feeling of awfulness.
And then, to make it even worse, when he started to talk gibberish, I remembered Blue's phone call about how I was supposed to go to her house and meet up with all of them. I was going to be in such trouble with the only people who actually thought I wasn't a loser. First, I didn't tell them about Matt-the-boyfriend, and then I'd stood them up at her house?
I was going to have a lot of begging to do. I chewed on my lip as Matt drew a triangle, trying desperately to think of the best way out of the situation. Should I tell them the truth about Matt being my tutor?
That would be best, probably.
But at the same time, I didn't want to. I liked them thinking I had a boyfriend. I liked not being the loser fourth wheel who couldn't get a boyfriend on her own. It felt good, it really did. Maybe, I could wait a little bit before actually telling them the truth.
I looked at Matt, and how his forehead was crinkled in concentration. Or was it irritation at being stuck with me? I sighed. Maybe I'd wait and see how Friday went.
* * *
I could only avoid my friends until I stepped onto school property the next morning. Blue was sitting on the front step, waiting for me. No, cancel that. She was stalking me, hovering in ready-to-swoop-down-and-kill-me-for-holding-out-on-them mode.
She found me crawling on my knees behind the bike rack. "Natalie! You're avoiding me?"
"Oh, there you are." I stood up and brushed off my knees. "I was looking everywhere for you."
She set her hands on her hips. "What happened to you last night?"
"I was with Matt when you called. And you hung up on me before I could explain that I couldn't come over right then." This was all true. I wasn't lying yet, was I? But I shifted my back pack on my shoulder, suddenly nervous. Not sure what to say.
Blue's eyes widened. "Matt the boyfriend?"
He's my tutor. Oh, God, that sounded awful, didn't it? Frances was brilliant and even Allie and Blue got decent grades. What would they think of me if they found out how really stupid I was?
He's my boyfriend. But wow, to lie to my friends? It was one thing to lie to my parents so I could stay on the team. But to my friends? We told each other everything, and we'd known each other since we were three. If they found out I'd lied to them…
He's my tutor. I imagined their shocked faces that I had a tutor. Oh, that would feel terrible.
He's my boyfriend. I imagined their shocked faces that I had a boyfriend, and I smiled. That would feel good.
He's my tutor. So embarrassing.
He's my boyfriend. Those were the words I'd been wanting to say for so long. They felt so good.
"Natalie?" Blue prompted.
I looked at her, and I meant to say that Matt was my tutor. I meant to tell my best friend the truth. I really did. But then, I saw that little Harvard pin on her jacket, and I knew it was a present from Colin, a little love token to remind her of him. I looked down at my jacket. All I had was lint. And then the words just tumbled out on their own. "Yes," I said. "I was with Matt the boyfriend." I cringed as the words rolled off my tongue, but my guilt went away immediately at the glow of awe in Blue's eyes.
"That's so cool you have a boyfriend."
A smile settled on my face, and it felt amazing to have her looking at me like that, like she was so happy for me, like I finally belonged. "I know. And I didn't even need to have one of your boyfriends set me up. Got him on my own." I was such a liar, but it felt so good not to be the loser of the group anymore. Sure, I'd tell them the truth eventually, but I wanted to keep this feeling for just a little longer. Natalie's not a loser. Natalie's not a loser. Sounded good, didn't it?
"How could you not tell us about him?" Blue's smile faded, and she looked a little annoyed.
Another lie tumbled off my tongue. "Because you guys are so busy with your boyfriends that you didn't have time for me." Nothing wrong with throwing a little guilt out there.
She shot me an injured look. "That's not true."
"No? When was the last Friday night you spent with me? When was our last girls' night?" I couldn't quite keep the hostility out of my voice. I hadn't said anything before this, but suddenly, I couldn't keep it in anymore. The guilt of lying to them was killing me, and it was making me angry. If they hadn't blown me off for so long, I wouldn't have had to lie to them now!
"We were all together yesterday," Blue pointed out. "To discuss your problems, I might add."
"Wow, you guys can spare twenty minutes on a Tuesday. I'm so lucky." Okay, so now I felt a little bit bad, but it was too late to apologize. I was just so mad that I was in this situation. I knew it was wrong, and it felt awful, but how could I admit the truth now?
"Hey! You could have told us yesterday! But all you did was talk about Zach."
I paused. "I do like Zach."
"So, you have a boyfriend but you want advice on how to get a different guy?" Blue didn't look impressed by that. Of course, she wouldn't. She was all about being nice to the guy you like.
"Ah ... well... it sort of looks like that, huh?" Yeesh. I never realized how complicated lying could get.
She shook her head. "Allie and Frances are going to be pissed."
"Yeah, well, sorry." Shouldn't I be the one who is pissed? They're the ones who had abandoned me for their guys.
"Saturday night then?"
I shifted my backpack to the other shoulder. "What's on Saturday night?"
"Frances, Allie and I are all going out with our boyfriends. Now that you have one, you have to bring Matt along."
My toe caught on the top step into the school and I fell on my face. "You guys have triple dates?" I wiped the dirt off my hands and tried to look cool.
"Well, yeah."
"How long has this been going on?"
She shrugged. "Since Allie started dating Tad."
Wow.
Wow.
I felt like I needed to sit down or something. I mean, I'd noticed they didn't have as much time for me now that they all had boyfriends, but I thought they were all going out separately. They'd been having all these parties and not invited me? Not even told me? I mean, I was friends with all of them, and I would have loved to hang out even if I didn't have a boyfriend. But I wasn't enough by myself?
Natalie, the third wheel.
Natalie, so un-girly that none of their boyfriends' friends wanted to be set up with her, even for one Saturday night.
Natalie, the loser, who was also stupid.
"Nat? You in for Saturday?"
I felt sick. I wanted to go, to show them I belonged, but at the same time, I was so upset, a part of me didn't even want to go anymore. "I don't know. I'll have to check with Matt. We might have plans with his friends."
Blue wrinkled her nose. "His friends are more important than us?"
There was no way to stop myself from glaring at her. "Don't even start with me."
"What's wrong with you?"
"Forget it. I'll see you in class." I spun on my heel and left her standing in the hall. Good thing she didn't follow me or she might have seen my eyes getting watery. They were my best friends! How could they ditch me like th
is?
And to think I'd considered telling them the truth, that not only did I not have a boyfriend, but that I was also so stupid I needed a tutor.
Hah.
Fat chance of that now. No way was I admitting just how much of a loser I was.
Which meant I had a lot riding on Friday night. Not only did I need it to stay on the track team, and fool my parents, and attract Zach, but Matt as my boyfriend was also the key toward climbing back to respectability with my friends.
* * *
I walked into math class and saw Matt immediately. He was sitting in the front row, his head bent over his paper scribbling furiously. Blue was already there, sitting in the far back row with her bag on the seat next to her.
Saving it for me.
There was also an empty seat next to Matt, not that he cared whether I sat next to him. In fact, he'd probably prefer I didn't, especially since on his other side was one of his friends. It would totally cramp his style to have to admit in public that he knew stupid me without being able to explain that he's my tutor.
Blue waved and patted the desk next to her.
Matt leaned over to talk to his friend—and yes, I admit it: I had no idea what his friend's name was, even though I knew the name of every boy in the room who was an athlete or otherwise considered to be cool.
Then Ms. Olsen entered and it was decision time.
CHAPTER SIX
I walked to the front row and sat down next to Matt. "Hi."
He looked up in surprise. Then he glanced back over his shoulder to Blue (interesting that he'd noticed me and where I usually sat, yet I hadn't known his name? I hate it when guys are right) and the empty seat next to her. Then he lifted a brow behind his glasses. "Trying to prove something?"
"Like what?" I dropped my bag on the ground and unzipped it.
"I'm not sure." He didn't look happy about it. "I don't like being used."
"Yeah, you've said that before." I let my math book hit the desk with a thud. His friend was watching us with interest, but both Matt and I ignored him. Probably because Matt didn't want to admit he knew me, and I didn't want to admit I didn't know his friend's name. "Maybe I wanted to sit in the front row and it was my bad luck that the only open seat was next to you."
Smart Boys & Fast Girls (A Girlfriend's Guide to Boys) Page 5