He pulled back a little and smiled. "I was so afraid I was too late."
"Too late for what?" It was incredible that I could still speak, I was so stunned.
"You." He took my hands and kissed me again. "I broke up with Liz. I never went to London. I couldn't go."
"You're kidding." Yeah, brilliant words of love, but I was too shocked to come up with something poetic. Besides, was poetic really my style?
"Never." He entwined his fingers with mine. "When I left your house and we decided to end the tutoring, and I realized we'd never really hang out..." He shrugged. "It was way worse than how I felt when Liz left."
Liz, whom he'd loved?
"But I'm an athlete," I said.
"And I made it to your race unscathed. Pretty amazing, huh?"
"But..."
"And I want you to meet my friends. All of them. You'll like them." He grinned. "Can you handle dating a brain?"
I finally realized he meant it. He really did. He accepted that I was a runner, and that he was brilliant, and that we were different with different friends and lives. And he still wanted me, exactly how I was.
Matt wanted me. Me.
I finally grinned. A big, goofy grin that I was sure made me look like an idiot. But I couldn't help it. Everything was too perfect. "Dating a brainiac?" I teased. "Well, I never did get the A in math that I wanted. Would you keep studying with me if I dated you?"
He kissed the tip of my nose. "You want to use me for my brain?"
"Yep. Is that okay?" I couldn't keep the smile off my face.
"What if I said I'd tutor you and you didn't have to date me to get my help?" He looked at me intently. "Then what? Still interested in a date?"
How cute was that? He wasn't sure if I wanted him. "Yes," I said. "I most definitely am."
He grinned, and kissed me again, and this time, I felt like my whole world was spinning. He kissed me forever, and it still wasn't long enough. When he finally stopped, and grinned at me. "I'm really glad you said yes," he said. "I was a little worried," he admitted. "I wasn't sure how you'd feel about dating someone who wasn't into sports."
"Matt." I draped my arms over his shoulders and clasped my fingers behind his neck. "You have some serious ego problems when it comes to athletes."
His face softened. "I know." He rested his hands on my waist. "Want to help me overcome them?"
I grinned. "I might be willing to help you out, for a kiss or two."
"Deal."
And then he sealed the bargain with his lips.
Excerpt from PUTTING BOYS ON THE LEDGE
It's Blue's turn now!
I finished sweeping and leaned the broom against the wall. "And what if he tries to kiss me again?"
"You should kiss him," Allie said. "Not a long one. Just a little one, and then cut him off."
Natalie nodded. "Don't push him away too hard. He needs to see that you're worth the chase." When we all gave Natalie a surprised look at her Allie-type advice, she shrugged. "I've been listening to Allie for so long I know what she's going to say."
"Well, okay, that's great advice, but there's one small problem with that." Or rather, one big problem. "I still don't know how to kiss! That was why I didn't kiss him in the first place. Not because I was putting him on The Ledge."
"Who didn't you kiss?" Colin appeared in the doorway of the barn, a big, annoying grin on his face.
Oh, God, I wanted to die right then, right there. Why, oh, why, did he keep walking into our conversations like this? This was completely humiliating.
"Heath Cavendish," Allie announced.
"Allie!" Okay, I was wrong. Now I was completely humiliated.
"Really?" Colin leaned against the doorjamb and folded his arms across his chest, as if he was going to stay and join the conversation. "I can't imagine many girls refuse to kiss Heath. How'd he take it?"
"I don't know," I muttered. "I left."
"You refused to kiss him and then took off?" Colin grinned. "I love it."
I was not getting into this discussion with a boy. "Why are you here? Mom said you weren't coming today."
"Plans changed, so I thought I'd swing by and see if there was anything to do. I could always use the extra cash."
"Well, I'm covering all the chores tonight, so you can leave."
Something flashed in Colin's eyes, then he shrugged. "Fine. I'll see you around, then."
"Wait a sec." Allie jumped off the feed bin and grabbed Colin's arm. "You should stay. We could use your advice."
Was she insane? "No, we can't. He should leave."
"No, no." Allie tugged Colin back into the barn. "Colin, I have a question for you."
I had to feel a little sorry for him. He didn't really look like he wanted to be subject to Allie's interrogation, but he was too nice to reject her. Because he was nice, even if he did have a habit of catching me in embarrassing moments.
"Anyway," Allie continued, "if a guy kissed a girl who'd never kissed before, would he be able to tell?"
Colin narrowed his eyes. "Tell what?"
"That she hadn't kissed before." Allie rolled her eyes in exasperation, while I contemplated pretending to pass out so I would have to be rushed off to the hospital, and therefore spared this incredibly humiliating discussion of my kissing talents.
Granted, I wasn't interested in Colin, but he was a boy. Which meant I didn't want him listening to my kissing failures.
"Oh." Colin glanced at me. "That's why you didn't kiss Heath? Because you were afraid he'd think you weren't good at kissing?"
If only the earth would swallow me up now. "I really don't think we need to be having this conversation." I turned away and began filling feed buckets. "I have work to do. You all should leave."
"And I thought you refused to kiss him because you just didn't want to kiss him," Colin said, with a hint of derision in his tone. "Dumb idea, I guess. As I said, what girl would turn down Heath Cavendish?"
"So he's popular," I snapped at Colin. "What's wrong with that?" Personally, I thought it was kinda cool that he was popular.
Colin shrugged. "Nothing."
"You didn't answer Allie's question," Frances interrupted Colin. "We really want to know."
"Frances!" What was with my friends? Since when had it become their goal to embarrass me so badly? "I don't want to know!"
Colin turned away from me and looked at Frances, the corners of his mouth turned up in amusement. "You mean, would I be able to tell if I kissed a girl who wasn't experienced? You guys really want to know that?"
"Yes," she said.
Natalie nodded her head in agreement. "Yeah, could you tell?"
"No, we don't want to know!" I grabbed Colin's arm and tried to push him out of the barn, only vaguely noticing that the muscles in his arm were pretty big. "Colin, leave. This conversation is killing me."
He deftly stepped out of my path and spun back into the barn, still sporting his amused grin. He turned to Frances. "I might be able to tell that a girl was inexperienced, but if I liked her, that would be cool. I'd rather kiss a girl who hasn't kissed a lot of guys."
"Really?" Allie twirled her hair, no doubt trying to recall the countless boys she'd kissed. Guaranteed she was contemplating feigning ignorance the next time she kissed a boy.
"But if I just wanted some action, I'd probably be more interested in someone who knew what she was doing," Colin added.
Well, thank you, Colin, for muddying the waters.
"So what about a guy like Heath?" Allie asked, rubbing her own lips thoughtfully. "What would he want?"
Colin's tone became a little less friendly. "I'm not Heath. I don't know."
Allie looked at me, still wearing that look that indicated her wheels were turning. "Heath has been around a lot. I bet he's looking for the experienced type."
I threw up my hands. "Oh, great. Now I'm really going to avoid kissing him. Thanks a lot, Allie."
"That can be addressed," she said.
Trepidation slamme
d my gut. "What can be addressed?" I didn't like the expression on her face, like she was plotting my downfall.
"Your lack of experience," she said.
Somehow I felt this entire discussion was heading in a dangerous direction. "What? Am I supposed to practice kissing on the dog?"
"No." She pointed to Colin. "On him."
"You want me to kiss Colin?" My stomach flopped and my hands instantly broke into a sweat.
"No, let Colin kiss you. Let him teach you how to kiss. Then you can kiss Heath and wow him." Allie grinned. "You have to learn somewhere, right?"
"Oh, yes!" Natalie said.
"Perfect," Frances exclaimed. "Do it!"
"I can't kiss Colin," I gasped, not even daring to look at him.
"But he's cute, and he's nice," Allie said. "Why can't you kiss him?"
"Because...because..." Because having someone teach me how to kiss would be the most embarrassing thing ever. And Colin? Granted, he was moderately cute, but he wasn't my type at all.
No way could I kiss him.
No possible way.
But I'd never admit I was too wimpy to kiss him. That was even more embarrassing. So, instead, I simply said. "I'd never ask Colin to do that."
He looked at me, and for the first time I realized that his eyelashes were really long and thick. "I'll kiss you, Blue."
And I could tell he meant it.
Excerpt from STUDYING BOYS
It's Frances's turn now!
When Theo pushed open another door and we walked out into the club, I almost passed out from terror right then.
It was dark. Really dark. And loud. Music was blasting so loud I could actually feel it vibrating in my chest and thudding in my ears. And there were people everywhere. Not boys and girls. Men and women. Dancing. Wearing black and silk, and some of the women weren't wearing all that much at all. No one even looked close to my age, and there sure wasn't any woman there without makeup, wearing jeans, sneakers and a baggy cotton sweater.
Except me.
Holy cow.
"Want a drink?" Theo asked.
"No." I pulled my hand out of his and backed against the wall. Oh my God. What kind of place was this? Where had I let him take me? It was one thing not to be uptight, but this was something else entirely.
I was way out of my league. All those people on the dance floor! Going crazy! Making out! There was no way I was going out there!
Then Theo moved in front of me and blocked my view. "Frances? Are you okay?"
"No!" I shoved at his chest, and he caught my hands. "Let go of me! How could you bring me here?"
"Sorry."
The simple comment caught my attention, and I stopped railing long enough to look at him. Theo, with his dark unruly hair, his leather jacket, and his black tee shirt. All bad boy, all danger, and yet, at the same time, I knew those eyes, that dimple in his cheek. This was Theo, the guy I'd known since I was three. "No smug remark, like the fact I can't handle this proves I'm uptight?"
Theo shrugged, still holding my hands. "I didn't mean to scare you."
He sounded like he really meant it. I didn't understand. Where was this Theo coming from? "Why aren't you being a jerk?"
A grimace pulled at the corner of his mouth. "I don't know."
"Oh." Not the best answer. It would have been nice if he'd said it was because I was so amazing that he couldn't bring himself to be anything but a perfect gentleman. That might have helped alleviate the fact I was about to have a full panic attack.
"You want to leave?" He frowned. "We can leave."
"Well..." Now that he was being all nice, and blocking my view of the raunchy stuff happening on the dance floor, it didn't seem so bad to be there.
"Want to just hang here, against the wall, for a few minutes while you decide?" he suggested.
I nodded. "Fine."
He gave me a slight nod, then dropped my hands and moved to the wall beside me, leaning against it, his arm pressing against my shoulder. Like he was being supportive.
We stood like that for a while. I watched the people, thought about Theo still leaning against me, not saying anything jerky or anything. Just hanging.
No one came up and bothered us. No one pointed at me like I stood out as being the only fourteen-year-old in the place.
"How are you feeling?" Theo asked.
"Okay."
"Want to dance?"
I looked at the dance floor. It was a slow song. "No."
"Why not?" He moved to stand in front of me again, but he didn't take my hands or anything. "I won't try anything."
"I just don't want to," I muttered, but my heart was racing, and I was having trouble breathing.
"You ever slow danced with a guy before?"
I lifted my chin. "None of your business."
He shrugged, but there was that challenge thing blazing in his eyes again. "One dance."
"Why?"
"Education."
I almost laughed. "What kind of a line is that? You use that on all your dates?" Not that we were on a date, or anything.
"The Homework Club." He didn't address the date remark.
I narrowed my eyes. He had my attention now. "What about it?"
"You can't run it the way you want to."
I lifted my chin. "Yes, I can."
"I brought you here so you can see what it's like to have fun. So you can see why your approach is too hardcore. My friends know how much fun a coed environment can really be. You need to play on that, instead of denying it."
"Since when did you become a philosopher?"
"Since you threatened to get me kicked off the lacrosse team. No way am I going to let that happen. And if the only way I'm going to get to play lacrosse is to get this club of yours to work, then that's what I'm going to do."
"Oh." That's all tonight was about. His desire to keep playing lacrosse. Which was fine. The only reason I was here was for The Homework Club. So why did I feel so disappointed? I didn't even like him, remember?
"So..." He took my left hand. "In order for you to understand what changes need to be made to The Homework Club, you have to see how the other side lives." He winked. "The side that likes to actually enjoy life."
I eyed him. "Sounds like another line to me."
He snorted. "I wouldn't waste a line on you."
"What does that mean?" That I wasn't worth it? That he had so little interest in me that he wouldn't want to risk me to succumbing to his charms?
He grinned. "Because you'd probably kick me in the nuts if I tried a cheap line on you."
I burst out laughing at his response, and suddenly my tension went away. This was the Theo I knew. He would never hurt me. I might be a pain in his side, but I was his little sister's best friend, and that made me safe. "Probably," I teased. "You're a womanizing jerk."
"See? I knew you'd give me grief." He grabbed my other hand and started walking backward, pulling me with him. "One dance. For research's sake."
One dance. For The Homework Club. I took a deep breath. "Fine."
A nice smile lit up his face, and he dropped one hand and turned to lead me out on the dance floor.
Where his arms would soon be around me.
Excerpt from WHO NEEDS BOYS?
It's Allie's turn now!
Tad and I went for a midnight swim to cool off my bee stings again. We swam out pretty far, and then Tad stopped and treaded water. "Can you float on your back?"
"Yes. Why?"
"Do it, and look at the sky."
I glanced up and realized the black sky was dotted with more stars than I'd ever seen in my entire life. I immediately rolled onto my back and puffed up my chest so I didn't sink. The dark night stretched endlessly above my head, a blackness illuminated with glittering diamonds as far as I could see. Millions and millions of dots of light. It was incredible, daunting, and the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen in my life. I felt tiny, but at the same time, I felt drawn into the magnificence of the sky, as if it were a part of m
e, and I was a part of it. "It's incredible," I whispered.
"I know. I could stay out for hours," Tad said, floating so close that his shoulder brushed into mine. "Did you see that?" Tad asked.
"See what?" I was too busy thinking about the tingling in my arm from touching Tad to be paying attention to anything else.
He pointed off to the right, his hand coming across my field of vision. "The shooting star. Off toward shore."
"No, darn it. I've never seen one." I turned so I could study the sky over the land. "What am I looking for?"
"A streak of light." Tad bumped against my leg. "Sorry."
"No problem." Really. It was no problem. I was beginning to be fond of him touching me, though it had only been to tackle me into the water in a bee rescue and to hold ice on my arm. I wondered what it would be like if he held my hand, just to hold it.
I saw a streak of light and shrieked. "Was that one?"
"Yeah. Cool, huh?"
"Incredible." The most incredible thing I'd ever seen. It was like the universe was lighting up just for us.
We stayed floating forever, and I saw eight shooting stars. It was, quite possibly, the most amazing night I had ever had.
* * *
"One shooting star for each bee sting," Tad said later as we were slogging through the water back to shore.
"Don't remind me." I hugged my arms against the shivers that had finally set in. We'd floated for so long that the night had cooled off and the water had felt cold.
"Want to sit for a minute?" He nodded at a flat rock on the shore.
My stomach jiggled, and suddenly I wasn't cold anymore. "Definitely."
He spread out his towel and we sat next to each other. Not touching. Normally, I'd have no qualms about leaning against him and giving him some broad hints, but I didn't. I had no idea what he was thinking about me. Or why I was having guy/girl thoughts about him.
So we simply sat in silence for a while, listening to the water lapping at the shore.
"Can I ask you something, Allie?" he said.
"Of course." I crossed my fingers behind my back and hoped it was something good.
"What happened with Rand last night?"
Smart Boys & Fast Girls (A Girlfriend's Guide to Boys) Page 14