“I’m all right, Matthew,” she spoke after a while. She stroked his back. As if she were the one comforting him. “Right now, we daenae have much time to waste standin’ around. They might wake up at any moment.”
“Right.” He let out another breath, hoping that this one would serve to calm him. “Right. Let’s see what we have here.”
He turned to look down at the two men unconscious near his feet. Jonet wandered over to the other, who had given up his struggle to get to his feet.
“This one is still conscious,” she told him.
“Curse… ye…” the man wheezed, then collapsed to the ground.
Matthew felt no pity for the man. He did not want to know how it felt to be kicked full force in the chest by a horse, but considering the circumstances, he was happy that it happened.
“Thank ye for helpin’ me when ye did, Jonet,” he said to her. “I should have said that first. If ye hadnae, I might nae have been able to overwhelm them.”
“It looked like ye needed the help,” she beamed.
Matthew chuckled. He jogged over to Fenella and knelt at the fallen basket by her side, withdrawing the blanket. With all this strength, he tore the blanket to strips.
Coming back over to Jonet, he tossed her a few. “Here,” he said. “Ye think ye can handle tyin’ their hands and feet?”
“I’ve picked up a lot of tricks from me Faither,” Jonet replied. “Ye daenae need to worry about me.”
“I daenae doubt it.” He decided to tie up the leader, considering the fact that he was still conscious. He did not want any surprises, even though it was plain that they had not come for Jonet.
Soon enough, they managed to tie them all up. Matthew heaved the two unconscious men over his shoulder and then threw them over the backs of Temper and Fenella. Surprisingly, Temper protested little.
He made his way to the leader and knelt in front of him. He patted his cheek, trying to bring him closer to recovery so that he could talk.
“Ye still cannae catch yer breath?” Matthew asked. “Nae much of a brigand, are ye?”
“Ye… try gettin’… hit in the chest… by a horse,” the man wheezed. “Then… ye’ll see.”
“I would apologize for that,” Jonet was standing behind Matthew, her arms crossed. “But I dinane really appreciate the way ye were tryin’ to attack Matthew. So, I’ll reserve any kindness.”
The man huffed a laugh, then coughed. “I should have expected… as much… from the daughter of Laird MacLagain.”
“Ah, so ye ken who she is,” Matthew nodded. “And yet ye ignored her completely and focused all yer attention on me. Were ye nae interested in robbin’ her?”
“I cannae deny. I was… thinkin’ about it. I thought we could do it… once we had… taken care of ye.”
Matthew frowned. “Taken care of me? Were ye meant to kill me?”
“Aye…” The man chuckled, then wheezed. “We would have been successful if the lass hadnae been with ye.”
“Matthew…”
Matthew heard the fear in her voice. He knew exactly what was going through her head. It was her worst fears realized.
“Do I ken ye?” he asked the brigand. “Did I happen to make ye me enemy without even realizin’?”
“I havenae met ye in me life before today. But… we were only doin’ what we were bein’ paid to do.”
“Ye were paid to kill me.”
“Aye. I daenae ken who she is, though. Nae her name or… or anythin’ else for that matter.”
Matthew frowned. He had conned a great many ladies in his past, the same past he was so determined to put behind him. Could it be one of those ladies trying to get back at him for the things he had done?
“Is there anythin’ about her that ye are able to tell me?”
The man grinned. “Will ye be lettin’ me and me men go if we answer the rest of yer questions?”
“That’s nae an option,” Jonet’s voice was strict. In that moment, she truly was every bit the daughter of a Laird. “Ye are comin’ back to the Castle with us whether ye give us answers or not. But, dependin’ on what he tell us, I may be able to persuade me Faither to be lenient on ye.”
The man’s grin fell. He sneered at Jonet, but she refused to cower in light of it. She only lifted an expectant brow.
He conceded, “I’ve told ye all I ken already. She covered most of her face when she met with us. The only thing I ken about her is that she is a petite woman. That’s all.”
Jonet sighed. “How disappointin’. I dinnae think me Faither will be so merciful for so little information, but I suppose nothing can be done about it.”
She turned and made her way over to her horse. Matthew wanted to go after her, but he decided to deal with the brigand first. He heaved him onto his unsteady legs and led him over to Temper. He and Jonet would be forced to walk while he had the brigands slung over the horses’ backs, Fenella only bearing the weight of one.
He sent a worried glance Jonet’s way, but she scarcely looked at him as she trotted off, forcing Matthew to hurry to keep up.
He knew what she was feeling and his heart clenched, not knowing what it meant for their future. The future that had seemed so bright just a few minutes ago.
Jonet would not admit to anyone, not even herself, that she was trembling from the remnants of her fear and not because she was now half-soaked from her still dripping hair. On the way back to the Castle, she had managed to bring herself to a state of complete calm, but she knew that was as fragile as glass. It would only take one word, or perhaps one look from Matthew, to break her completely.
She was not going to let that happen. She held her head high as she handed over Fenella and allowed the guards to take care of the brigands, who had regained consciousness on the way. She headed straight inside, knowing that Matthew was right on her heels.
He had said very little on their way back. There was not much they could say, considering their audience had been the very same man who had tried to kill him. Nevertheless, she had felt the weight of his eyes during the entire trip. She knew he worried for her. It bothered her endlessly, but that, much like many other things, was something she would face later.
Jonet did not hesitate to make her way to her Faither’s study. There was already a guard present, in the process of informing him about what she and Matthew had brought back with him.
“What is the meanin’ of this?” he barked the moment he saw them. “Ye were attacked?”
Jonet sank into the closest chair she could find. She did not know how long her legs would have been able to hold out. “Aye, Faither, but as ye can see. We are fine. The guards are bringin’ them along right now.”
Her father did not seem to hear a word. He rushed over to her, coming to his knee to inspect every inch of her in near frantic worry.
“Faither, honestly, I am fine. Ye neednae worry about me. It is Matthew ye should be worryin’ about.” Jonet sighed.
“Matthew is certainly strong enough to take care of himself,” the Laird pressed.
“And I am nae?”
“Ye are me daughter. I ken havin’ ye out there so often would invite bandits sooner or later. Tell me, what did they want to take from ye? Or were they from a rival clan?”
Jonet sighed. Matthew took that as his moment to speak up. “Ye shouldnae worry about Jonet, Me Laird. As she said, they dinnae harm her. They had come after me instead.”
Laird MacLagain adopted a fierce look as his eyes sought Matthew. He rose, his hands clenching into a fist. “Ye? Why would they do that?”
“One of them tells me that they were hired by a petite woman to kill me. And had Jonet nae been there at the time, they might have succeeded.”
Jonet’s heart sank. She tried to conceal her emotions, but she had a feeling that Matthew could tell. He made it abundantly clear that he had been watching her closely all this time, so she doubted anything missed his attention.
Finally, the guards managed to bring the stumbling men i
nto the Laird’s office. If he had not been plainly angry before, the reddening of the Laird’s face belied his fury.
“I daenae want to see their faces. Have them thrown into the dungeons!” he ordered.
Jonet heard a squeak of protest, but she did not turn. She gripped her arms, trying to rein in the overwhelming horror that was settling within her. She rose, not meeting any of their eyes.
“That has been more than enough excitement for me today,” she said. “I think I will retire early to me bedchambers. I’d like to be alone.” She added that last bit for Matthew’s sake, hoping he would pay heed.
“Jonet—” her father began to say, but she shook her head at him. She knew how overprotective he was of her, and that was not what she wanted right now. In actuality, Jonet wasn’t sure what she wanted.
Perhaps peace of mind. Perhaps security and safety. Perhaps a glimpse into the future to tell if she would truly be able to live happily with Matthew, or if she would have to give him up as she should have done from the very start.
A wave of depression came over her as she turned and made her way out the room. She prayed desperately that Matthew would not follow her. She did not think she would be able hold it all in if he did and, after she had walked for a short while, she realized that he had not followed.
Jonet managed to keep herself together until she was safely within her bedroom. She had feared for a moment that she would see Freya inside, but she was blissfully alone. She made her way over to her bed, gripped the sides with her still trembling hands as she sat, and let the tears fall.
Chapter 20
I cannae do this. I cannae let this happen all over again.
Jonet laid back in her bed and she cried. In the safety of her room, hoping her sobs would be muffled in her pillows, she let out all the frustration, anger, and sadness she felt. She had been so happy today, finally confessing to him the feelings she had been harboring for some time. How could it all fall flat so suddenly?
It is me fate. I will never have the man I love. I will never be married, never be happy. And I daenae think I can live with another death on me hands.
She ceased her sobbing the moment she heard her door open. Jonet did not move, thinking it to be Freya, who might have heard what had happened and came to check up on her. Freya was the type to give comfort by allowing Jonet her space, so Jonet expected to hear the door close once more. When she did, she burrowed her face into her pillows again and sniffled.
“Jonet…”
Jonet started at the sound of Matthew’s voice. She did not turn to face him, though she had a feeling he had a glimpse of her tear-stained face. “I thought I told ye that I wanted to be alone.”
“I couldnae stop meself from comin’ up here.” The bed sank under his weight. “I ken why ye are cryin’.”
“If ye ken, then there is nay need for ye to be here.” She tried to make her words harsh, to get him to leave, but it was softened by her tears. “I ken what ye are goin’ to say and I daenae want to hear it.”
“I think ye need to, though,” he spoke softly. He put a hand on her arm. Jonet curled into herself. “Jonet, ye cannae continue blamin’ yerself for these things.”
Jonet sat up. She wiped furiously at her tears, climbing out of bed on the other side. She began to pace back and forth, not knowing what else to do.
“Matthew, this is what I had been afraid of. I convinced meself that it was all a lie. That I wasnae cursed. That it had all been a coincidence and that I should continue to live me life. And then look at what happened. Ye were almost killed!”
“Aye, and had ye nae been there to save me, I might have been.”
“That doesnae make me feel any better. Had it nae been for me, it wouldnae have happened in the first place.”
Matthew sighed. He stood to his feet and approached her, but he did not intercede her incessant pacing. “Jonet, ye heard what the brigand said. They were hired by someone. There is someone out there who wants to see me dead and that has nothin’ to do with ye.”
“I daenae believe ye.” She knew she was growing too worked up, but she could not stop herself. “Look at ye! Ye are kind and funny and so damn charmin’ that everyone loves ye. For what possible reason would someone want to kill a merchant like ye?”
Matthew’s eyes slid away. Jonet took that as the answer she needed.
“Ye see?” Her words were decisive. “It is the same thing that happened three years ago and six years ago. A healthy man fallin’ dead so suddenly? A born hunter growin’ lost or possibly eaten in the woods? And now ye? It just doesnae make any sense, Matthew. Ye have to admit that the one thing in common in all these happenin’s is me.” She came to a stop, sighing. “So…”
Matthew went still. He narrowed his eyes, shaking his head to the words she had not yet said. “Jonet, ye cannae…”
“Matthew.” Jonet softened, eyes filling with tears again. She should have suspected it would break her heart this much to say these words, but it was her own fault for letting this get so far.
Matthew took a step toward her, shaking his head more vigorously. “Nay, ye cannae say it. Ye cannae take it back, Jonet.”
“I daenae think I can marry ye.” She broke to a million pieces at the pure hurt in his beautiful green eyes. Green eyes that were always filled with such happy emotions. Here she was, bringing the pain.
“Jonet, this is nonsense.” He bridged what was left of the gap between them, taking her hands in his. “Think about it. If it was truly yer fault, if it was truly like anythin’ that happened before, we wouldnae ken what we ken now. Accordin’ to the brigands, I was targeted by a single person. It is just an odd coincidence, Jonet, ye have to believe that.”
“How can they all be coincidences, Matthew?” She pulled her hands from his. “Time and again the same things keep happenin’. When should I stop to recognize that it might nae be as ye say? When ye are dead? I cannae allow that to happen.”
“Ye cannae truly mean to take back yer acceptance.”
“I have to do more than that and ye ken it.” She stepped away, wanting to turn her back to his pained eyes. It hurt too much to see. “Ye have to leave here, Matthew. Go as far away from me as ye can. I absolutely cannae marry ye.”
Determinedly, he took another step closer. “Daenae ye love me?” he asked.
Jonet eyes widened. She had never said those words to him before, but… her actions had declared them loud and clear. It was plain to see that she loved him. That was why she had to do this.
“I do love ye, Matthew,” she said softly. “I love ye with all me heart. I love ye more than I have ever loved anyone before and even though that scared me, I was happy for it. I was eager to begin me life with ye. But, it cannae be at the expense of yer own life. I want to be married to ye, but I have to make sure that ye leave so that ye will be safe. I daenae think I can handle seein’ ye get hurt… or worse.”
“I willnae get hurt, Jonet. I will get to the bottom of this. I will let ye see that situation is nae what ye think it is.”
Jonet shook her head. “Do ye ken how shaken I was when they got off their horses? I was afraid before, afraid that they really might try to rob us both, but never have I felt fear like when they all attacked ye. I would have thrown meself at their mercy if it meant protectin’ ye. I couldnae leave ye and I certainly couldnae keep ye at the hands of those men. It was the most frightenin’ moment of me life.” The tears resumed, though she stubbornly wiped them away. “And to think that there is the slightest possibility of that happenin’ again. Because of me? I cannae allow it. Ye must leave, Matthew, or I will have the guards send ye away—”
She did not get the chance to finish when he pulled her into a deep kiss. She pushed against his chest, but it was futile, her attempts half-hearted at best. Tears squeezed past her eyes as he enclosed his arms around her and held her tightly against his chest, as if he never wanted to let go.
He pulled away.
“Ye truly daenae ken me if ye th
ink I will let ye out of me life so easily, Jonet,” he murmured. “I ken ye are scared, but I willnae leave yer side just because ye are too afraid.”
“Matthew…”
“I told ye to trust me, dinnae I? I told ye that I wouldnae break yer heart, nor will I make ye fear love again. That is exactly what I intend to do. With ye by me side.”
Before she could say anything, he kissed her again. Jonet felt herself melt in his arms, clinging to him. She too did not want to let him go. Telling him to leave had broken off pieces of her soul and she did not think she had the strength to say it again.
Highlander's Trials of Fire: A Steamy Scottish Historical Romance Novel Page 17