“It’s okay, Daddy, don’t be sad.” Rose scratched his nose and pressed her face up close to his.
“Can you ask her to go inside for a minute?” he asked Annie, who nodded.
“Rose, honey, why don’t you come inside with me for a minute. Your daddy wants to change back, and he doesn’t want to be embarrassed because he isn’t wearing his clothes.” She gestured to the scraps of fabric that had been his underwear before the shift.
Rose giggled again and pressed a kiss to the end of his muzzle before taking Annie’s hand.
Fionn shifted back to his human form and threw his pants on before following them into the house, his T-shirt shoved into the waistband of his pants.
“Dev?” he called out his son’s name, starting up the stairs toward the guest room, where he was staying.
“Go away. You’re a freak,” Dev shouted, his voice muffled. “I want to go home.”
“Devon. I love you, but your mother and I have taught you better than to call someone a freak because of how they were born. I was born a wolf. You were born fully human. Neither of us is a freak.” He drew a deep breath. “I am sorry that I sprung this on you like this. Your mother doesn’t know. Can I ask you to keep my secret?”
The door opened. His son looked him in the eye, adolescent eyes rimmed with tears. Lower lip trembling, Devon drew himself up to his full height.
“Am I going to turn into what you are?” he asked.
“No, son. Your mother is human; you’re human. My mother, your Grandma Roisin, is wolf; I’m wolf.”
“I’ll keep your secret. But I don’t want to be here.” Devon’s eyes dropped to the floor. “And I don’t want to see you anymore.”
Fionn felt his heart breaking as he looked at his son, this young man it seemed he barely knew. He had nobody to blame but himself for this moment. He was the one who had decided distance would be best. It was his choice to hold his children at arm’s length except at times of convenience.
“Dev, son, I love you. I hope in time, you can forgive me for the way I told you. I’m not going to ask you to forgive me for being different. This is who I am, and I make no apologies for it. Do you want me to drive you to your mother’s house?”
“No, I already called her. She’s coming to get me.” Devon’s voice was barely more than a whisper.
Fionn realized he was crying again. He reached out and pulled his son into his arms in a fast, hard hug. Devon swallowed hard before pushing his father away and shutting the door in his face.
Fionn stood for a moment with his hand on the door, knowing he could force it open if he wanted to. More than anything, he wanted to scoop his son up in his arms and whisper how much he loved him and that it would all be okay. But he knew this man-child needed to process the changes in his life with a quiet dignity—busting through the door would deny him the time he required. A lupine whine escaped his lips, and he returned downstairs, his heart heavy.
Chapter Seven
HAVING BEEN TORMENTED by the outcome of his revelation to the children, Fionn was deep in his own head when he and Annie returned to the compound. The drive had seemed longer than ever. Annie’s firm reassurances in the necessity of what happened didn’t take away the pain that Fionn felt over the way things had gone with Devon. Uneasiness filtered through his mind and settled like a heavy fog in his heart. People said parenting was hard, but this was his first taste of exactly how hard it could be. He rode the elevator up to the floor of the dormitory where he kept his little haven, his quiet little room with his books and his thoughts. He wanted to go to his mate, make love to her and mark her. But first, he wanted to lock away the negative thoughts that were tumbling through him—Monica deserved his best, and he wasn’t that man right now.
His key stuck in the lock and wouldn’t turn. “Fuck,” he swore, trying again.
“Fionn Murphy. Come here. Now.” Monica’s voice filled his head, and a rush of blood filled his cock.
“What did you do, Monica?”
“You don’t need that room anymore. I had your belongings brought to my apartment and the locks changed. Now get your sexy behind over here, mate.”
He felt his lips quirking up in a smile. It seemed his woman was the take-charge type. In spite of his desire to reach some detente with his inner demons, she was too much temptation. When the elevator doors opened a few minutes later in the entry to her apartment, the caramel-haired Ellen winked at him, stepped into the elevator, and disappeared without a word.
“Mo?” he whispered tentatively, knowing her wolf hearing would pick up his voice.
“I’m in the bedroom,” her voice called back to him.
He followed the sound back past the sitting room and down the hallway. He could smell her everywhere, and his body was filled with longing for his mate. Her bedroom door was cracked; he pushed it open. The lights were dim, and he didn’t see her at first. As his eyes adjusted to the low light, he saw her standing by the window, watching her wolves below. He stood behind her, wrapped an arm around her waist, and pressed a kiss into her hair.
“They are your wolves, too,” she said in a low voice. “And this isn’t my apartment. It isn’t my bedroom. It’s ours.” She turned to face him. “Once you bite me, once we’re mated, everything that is mine is yours. And Fionn…I want you to share your burdens with me, too. No more running because you’re hurting.”
“Will you mark me, too, Mo? Because I’d really like that.” He cupped her cheek with his hand.
Suddenly shy, she smiled up at him and nodded. “My first mate, he didn’t…”
“He didn’t what? Want you to bite him?” Fionn was surprised. From what his brother had told him, being bit by your mate produced unrivaled joy.
“No…more that he didn’t understand why I would want to. He was a good man, Fionn. But it was a different time, and he just wasn’t a feminist.”
“Mmm. Well, I am all about equal opportunity. You realize, we do this, it’s done, there’s no turning back?”
“Yes. I’ve done it before. Are you ready for this?”
“I’m still scared. But I’m yours.” He swallowed. “The last time I was here, I kissed you when I was angry, with myself, with you. I want to kiss you as my mate, as a lover, with nothing between us but passion.”
He pulled her tight against his chest and brushed his lips over hers. He took his time with this kiss, just feeling the pressure of her mouth under his own, then nibbling around her lips, plucking at them with his teeth. Her hands fisted in his shirt, and she started pulling it up. Without breaking contact with her lips, he took her hands in his and pushed them down to her sides. When she curled her hands around his waist, he cupped the back of her head in one palm.
Monica thought the need she felt would explode inside her. She felt a whimper rising in her throat as he oh-so-delicately nudged her lips open. She welcomed the sensual intrusion of his tongue slipping against hers and felt tears welling in her eyes at the tenderness of the moment. When he scooped her up in his arms and crossed the room to the bed, she wrapped her arms around his neck, as though she never wanted to let go. Laying her on the bed, he finally broke the kiss. His blue eyes met her dark ones, and he smiled at her.
“You’re the most amazing woman I’ve ever met.” He stroked the streak of silver in her hair. “The way you struck out on your own, all those years ago, and made this powerful, incredible feminist pack, it’s just the most unimaginably awesome accomplishment.”
“Are you going to make love to me or read my resume?” She growled impatiently.
“Maybe a little of both,” he admitted, pressing a kiss to her throat, making her shiver. “I need you to know who you are to me. It’s about more than wanting these long, muscular legs wrapped around me. It’s about more than needing to feel your hair wrapped around my hands. It’s about more than lust and wanting to fuck you senseless every time I see you. Do you understand? It’s about what you’ve done, what you’ve lived through. No other woman could hold a cand
le to my mate, my love.”
Her face shuttered. Suddenly, she was the vulnerable one.
“I’m old,” she whispered. “Older than your mother.”
“We’re wolves. Age is just a number.” He pressed another kiss to her throat.
“I have gray hair.”
“You have a very sexy streak of silver in an amazing mane of beautiful black hair.”
“I’m bossy.”
“I like it.” He grinned. “Now, if you’re done with the self-doubts, I’m going to bite you. And then you’re going to bite me. And then I’m going to make love to you.”
“You’re going to bite me first?” She sat up, puzzled.
“You can bite me first, if you want.” He grinned.
“I mean, before we make love, you’re going to bite me?”
“Yes. Because I want you to feel everything I’m feeling when I make love to you for the first time. And I want to feel everything you’re feeling.”
The look in his eyes caused her insides to tremble. She swallowed again. He kissed the silken skin behind her ear, breathing in her scent. She felt his teeth shift against her.
Monica smiled, revealing her own sharpened teeth. Fionn grinned back, cupping her cheek with his hand.
“I love you.” He said each word with deliberate precision, peeled off her robe, and eased her back onto the bed.
She lay naked beneath him, watching his eyes trace over her tattoos. Some of them were very old and faded. Others were as fresh as if she’d gotten them yesterday. Finally, he smiled and touched her, just under her collarbone, between the tattoo she’d received on Amazon’s ratification, and a faded silvery blue line that ran vertically along her sternum—the tattoo given to a wolf upon the first shift. He traced the shape of a bite.
“Right here,” he whispered. “Between your Alpha tattoo and your first shift tattoo. Over your heart. My heart.”
“Yes.” She smiled. “That’s perfect.”
“Where did he bite you?” Fionn asked softly. Shyly, she touched a hand to the back of her neck. He nudged the hand aside and pressed a kiss there. “Robert was first, but I’m now and last. I hope he is resting peacefully in the spirit world.”
Monica felt her eyes fill with tears at the tender tribute to her first mate. A small sob, barely more than a hiccup, slipped from her lips as she nodded.
She watched curiously as his upper lip curled back, showing his shifted teeth. Then he bit, hard enough to draw blood, over her heart. She felt a tingle of pain, then a rush of exquisite joy, and she hugged his head tight to her breast as the tears flowed from her eyes to gather behind her head on the pillow. She felt his tongue licking the blood from her skin, and he sat up and looked into her eyes.
“Hi,” he whispered, and she felt him in her head, not in the way of a pack-mate, but in the way of a true bonded-mate—his wordless joy, his love, his passion flowing through the bond he’d forged when his teeth broke her skin.
Monica smiled and sat up, reaching for him. Peeling off his shirt, she began to examine his body. She loved the hard planes of muscle and sinew, the softness of his beard, the vibrant colors of his tattoos. Most wolves chose basic black, but her man, he was far from basic. It was then she noticed that the skin over his heart was also bare of tattoos. She pressed a kiss there on his silken skin, hearing his sharp intake of breath and feeling his anticipation and hunger through their bond.
Monica bit down, savoring the metallic taste of his blood on her tongue, and then pulled her head back to kiss him, full on the lips. Their bond wrapped around them, an almost physical sensation, and she gasped with the warmth of it. He sighed into her mouth, and she felt him smiling against her lips. She reached for his belt, hurriedly trying to strip him as bare as she. He threw his head back and laughed in wonder and anticipation, and she knew he could feel her eagerness through their bond. His hands joined hers, and he shoved his pants away.
Fionn began to stroke down the side of her face with one hand, tracing circles on her skin as she sighed her contentment. She felt his curiosity just a moment before he took one dusky brown nipple between his fingers. He squeezed gently to gauge her response before he chuckled and pinched harder, just the way she liked. She gasped and felt herself blushing at the sensation. She felt his excitement rising as he took the nipple in his mouth and drew on it, suckling gently at first and then more fiercely as her back arched.
“You are damn good at that,” she whispered.
“Then enjoy it, mate,” he murmured into her skin.
Kissing down the soft skin of her belly, he pressed kiss after agonizingly slow kiss to her ribs, navel, hipbones. When, through their bond, his intention reached her, she threw her head back and whispered her delight in breathless anticipation. His first kiss to her sensitive folds was achingly sweet. The softness of his beard tickled against her as his tongue stole forward and teased her clit ever so lightly. Knowing he could feel her awe and her want made a rush of her honey spill down, and he licked to catch every drop.
“Please.” She needed more.
With a soft humming sound against her clit, he buried two fingers inside her, curling them as if reaching for his own tongue through her. Her hips bucked, and a wave of need broke in her, propelling her into a fierce orgasm that rocked her from her core all the way to her toes. With a satisfied smile, Fionn nibbled back up her body, pausing to kiss and suckle at her breasts. When a whimper slipped from her throat, he raised himself above her.
“Look in my eyes, love,” he pleaded, his clear burst of love pouring through their connection.
Monica’s eyes met his as he guided himself inside her. She arched and sighed, raising her hips to meet his gentle thrust. She set the rhythm until his need overtook her tempo. She felt him right through to her heart as he began to thrust—out of control, his wolf mating instincts taking over and driving him into her.
“Touch yourself, Mo. Make yourself come again.”
Fionn’s words in Monica’s head almost did it all by themselves. She reached down and stroked a finger over her clit, circling it and flicking at it. When he realized how close to the edge she was, a feral grin crossed his face, and he threw his head back and howled his joy. Her muscles contracted around him as her climax took her, and she felt the moment he let his own ecstasy follow as he came inside her for what seemed like eternity. Finally, he collapsed beside her on the bed, gathering her in his arms.
Mated.
Fionn had never known anything like it in his entire life. He felt a wave of awe that she had survived losing her first mate, and he kissed the back of her neck again.
“Robert would be happy for us.” Monica smiled up at him.
“I know,” Fionn replied. “I’m grateful to him.”
“I sensed that.” She giggled a dreamy little laugh. “I’ve been alone so long, I thought maybe I’d imagined how perfect this feels. Being with my mate. Feeling you in my heart brings back so many happy memories of that time.”
“It’s okay, love. I understand. Through this metaphysical mojo we got going on.” He traced the outline of his bite on her skin. “I understand everything now. I’m sorry the last five months…”
“The last five months are the past. We…together like this…are the future.” She stopped him with a finger against his lips. “Tonight, I want to sleep in my mate’s arms and dream about happy things, not the past.”
Chapter Eight
MONICA AWOKE WRAPPED IN FIONN’S ARMS, the memory of making love with him burning in her. She rolled to face him and studied his face in sleep. In spite of his lush beard, Fionn looked quite young in sleep, his strong features softened by dreams, his hair tousled. Watching his pulse beating in his throat, Monica felt a wave of tenderness washed over her. She had, for so many years, known she would mate again. She remembered her first mate fondly but still had been unprepared for how strong the bond would be when it took her again. Had her mating with Robert even been this strong? Maybe not, as she herself hadn’t been th
is strong back then. What if it took losing her first love and forging a new life to be worthy of this wild, charming man in her bed?
“Mmmm you’re awake.” She heard Fionn in her head, felt the bright clear touch of his mind.
“You, too?”
“Almost. Is it morning?”
“No. It’s still night,” she reassured him.
“Run with me?” She could feel his love pulsing through their bond like a living thing.
“Yes.” She sat up and stretched, then watched as he rolled out of the bed, eyes still closed.
“I used to run to be alone,” he whispered, scratching his chest absently. “Now I want to run with you more than anything.”
“Let’s do it.” She took his hand and led him to the elevator. He smiled a sleepy smile at her, and she blushed.
“I like you naked.” He grinned. “You blush everywhere.”
“Don’t tease me, Fionn Murphy. I’m a big tough Alpha.”
“You’re my big tough Alpha, with the cutest little brown nipples that turn red when you blush. And look how hard they’re getting just from the attention.”
He caught his lower lip between his teeth, and her knees buckled. The elevator doors opened, and he swept her inside, nibbling at her ear.
“Have you ever?” he asked, raising an eyebrow.
“What? In an elevator? No.”
“You live in a library with your own private elevator, and you’ve never done it in here?”
“No! Are you kidding? Who would I screw in the elevator?”
“Me.” He grinned.
She rolled her eyes. “Okay, yeah, but not right now.”
“How come?” He actually looked hurt for a split second before he caught her reasoning.
“Because you need to claim me as a wolf, too. I want that, now.”
“Yeah?” He looked surprised.
“Yeah. It completes the bonding. Didn’t you know?”
“I had no idea.” He frowned for a moment and then grinned. “I like being mated.”
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