by A. C. Wilds
I take a moment to shove the embarrassment deep into my gut. I was never like this before Tilly’s death. Now, I can’t stop myself.
Carson snorts as he comes to sit at the table.
“What?” I ask, placing the mug on the table and straightening the imaginary tablecloth with my hands, suddenly more nervous than I was before Ashton left the room.
“I was just thinking how typical you are.” He smirks as he bites into his bacon.
My mouth forms an ‘O’ and I clutch the side of the table as if it’s holding me into this chair. “What the fuck does that mean?” I start to tremble, knowing his next words are going to hurt more than they should.
“You’re a princess, party girl. More concerned over where the next Barney’s sale is than the people around you. You drink too much because you’re bored and have no real friends.”
He shrugs like he’s got me all figured out. Tears form in my eyes, but I don’t dare let them fall.
I push out of the chair so fast it almost topples over, then storm out of the room. I won’t give him the satisfaction of seeing how truly he’s hurt me.
CARSON
Hot leather scorches my skin, adding to the already uncomfortable feeling inside of me.
I shouldn’t have said those things to Bliss, but it was as if I couldn’t hold back. Like I was getting back at my parents for what they did to Eli.
The way she talks, walks, looks brings it all back for me. I’m still raw over the loss of my brother.
I get out of the car once I pull into the beach parking lot, slamming the door a little too hard. I ran from that life for a reason. I don’t need a princess pulling me back into it. Besides, she’s with Ashton. I shouldn’t let her get under my skin.
“Carson, you’re on duty in the White Tower, dispatch. Mather is taking the day,” Billy, my co-worker, yells from across the parking lot.
I give him a thumbs up, groaning internally. I hate working dispatch. I’m not the type of guy who likes to sit idle and watch the action.
The boardwalk is already filled with morning beachgoers. The regulars wave or say hello as I walk to my post.
The tower is crowded with everyone who’s on shift.
“Morning, Carson,” Kelly says, eyeing me up and down. She’s been after me since I started. She’s the type who doesn’t take no for an answer. Her persistence is becoming laughable.
“Hey, guys,” I reply, addressing the room. “Anything going on today?”
I sit down at the desk and switch on the computer. The whirl of the internal fan signals the startup, and I swivel in the chair to look at the rest of the team.
Billy hands me a piece of paper, and I breeze through it, searching for all of the goings-on for the day.
“Volleyball contest in section three. That’s Rodgers and Parson. Section one chairs are Lewis and Smith. The rest of you cover your sections on rotation. Anything else I need to know?”
Heads shake around the room, then they disperse, leaving through the door. The only person who remains is Ashton.
I know exactly what he’s stuck around for.
“What the fuck, bro,” he says, taking a seat across the room.
I cringe and hold my breath for a second. “It was a little harsh, but girls like that, they don’t listen to anything else.”
“That doesn’t give you permission to be a dick. She’s my guest, she deserves some respect. You’re better than this.”
I groan, running my hands through my hair. The light from the computer distracts me for a moment, and I spin to face the monitor. “It’s not like that. It’s just . . . I know her kind, all right. She’s not a good person. Trust me on this.”
I type in the username and password, the sound of the keys the only noise in the room. Ashton is so quiet that the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. He’s never this quiet.
“You’re my best friend, but right now, I don’t know who you are. Get your fucking head out of your ass and start acting like the guy I know. You don’t like her? Fine. But there’s no reason to be a rude asshole.”
He throws the chair back and storms out the room, the door slamming behind him.
I wish I could tell him the truth. Make him see what they’re all like, but I can’t risk it. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do to prevent me from going back there. I can’t, and I won’t—not even for Ashton.
CHAPTER FIVE
BLISS
I walk down to the beach at noon, weaving through the crowd. There are a lot of people milling about, relaxing and laughing with family. I’m envious of their carefree nature.
“Bliss! Over here!” Ashton calls out. He’s standing by a huge blanket, a cooler holding it down.
The hot sand hits my leg as my flip-flops melt into the grains. I grab on to my hat as a huge gust of wind blows from the ocean. Even from this distance, Ashton looks amazing.
Sun-kissed skin stretches over curved muscles. His board shorts barely cover the deep V he flashes everyone. It’s almost enough to make my knees weak.
“Hey, beautiful. How was your morning?” He greets me with a kiss on the cheek as he reaches out to take my beach bag.
“Uneventful. I slept a little, ordered room service, and watched trashy TV until it was time to come meet you.” I give him a smile and remove my shoes, squishing my toes deeper into the sand.
“That sounds like a perfect morning to me. I, on the other hand, had to save a kid who decided it was a good idea to jump in the water without his parents. The current dragged him so far out. Thank God he knew how to float.”
“Is he okay?” My heart has jumped into my throat. How can he do this job knowing that one day he might not be able to save a life?
“He had some difficulty breathing, but other than that, I’d say he’s fine.”
He begins to unpack food from a picnic basket I didn’t see stashed on the opposite side of the blanket. Cheese, bread, wine, fresh olives. All my favorite things.
I take off my cover-up and watch as his eyes go wide at the sight of my mostly naked body. I wore this suit specifically for that reaction—for him or Carson, I’m not sure. Then I think about the way Carson treated me this morning, and the smirk on my face disappears.
“You did this all for me?” I ask, taking a seat next to him. He hands me a plate and napkin from the basket. Taking it, I start to plate my food.
“Well, I kind of have a thing for picnic food, so I selfishly did it for me hoping you’d enjoy it.” He begins to uncork the wine bottle. His ease and playfulness are everything I need right now.
“Are you usually selfish when it comes to girls?” My voice is a bit heated. The pop of the cork has me jumping, and his smirk makes me melt a little.
“Not when it counts.”
Putting the first bit of cheese in my mouth, I look out over the water. It’s a beautiful day—the sun warm against my skin, the sand hot under the blanket. I try to breathe, to take in this moment and relax, but the impending wedding looms over my head like the blade of a guillotine.
“Where did you go?” Ashton asks, pouring wine into a plastic cup and handing it to me.
“The thought of having to go to this wedding. I’m not sure I can make it through. It’s all so daunting.”
“I’d think being at your brother’s wedding would be a celebration, not a chore.”
He isn’t mocking me but seems genuinely curious. I take a deep breath, figuring this would be an excellent time to tell him about Tilly. I didn’t intend to share her, but I have a need to confide in Ashton like he’s been my best friend for ages.
“My sister died of cancer two years ago. Since then, I haven’t been the best I can be, especially to my family. They made some choices that I can’t easily forgive. I chose to be away from them and not confront my feelings.”
Watching him, I wait for judgement. He gives me none. I’m almost happy that he isn’t taking this time to assess what I’ve become.
“I’m sorry you lost her. I imagine yo
u were close?” He takes a sip of his wine and stares off into the distance as if he’d spotted someone.
“She was my little sister. Someone I thought would be in my life forever. Share all the important memories with.”
“How old was she?” His concern and gentleness make it easier to talk to him.
“Twenty-one. She had breast cancer, and it spread. She shouldn’t have even been a candidate since she was so young. It was shitty luck.”
He takes my hand in his, and I focus on his warmth instead of the past. “I’ll try to keep you busy enough to not think about the wedding.”
Flirting with him comes so naturally, even if it doesn’t feel real. I appreciate Ashton in every way, especially his hotness and great personality, but there’s something off. Not with him, but with me, which makes me think I might be broken.
“Thank you. I’d really like that.” Offering him a smile is the least I can do.
“What are you guys doing?” I don’t need to turn around to know to whom the gruff voice belongs to.
“Carson! What’s up, bro?” Ashton’s signature smile plasters across his face as if we weren’t just having an in-depth conversation about dead siblings.
“Saw you here and figured I’d see what the hell you were still doing with her.”
I feel heat rise into my cheeks, and then I start to see red. Fuck this asshole and his pompous attitude.
I’m standing before I know what’s happening. “If you have a problem with me, why don’t you address it now instead of being an asshole and talking about me as if I’m not here.”
“Dude, you’re being a dick. I don’t know what’s going on with you, but Bliss hasn’t done anything to you. We talked about this.” The pleasant expression on Ashton’s face turns into one of annoyance. I take it these guys don’t fight often.
“She doesn’t belong here. She’s a rich princess, more concerned with her money than your feelings. I’m just looking out for you.” With that, he turns and leaves.
Tears wet the skin beneath my eyes, and I swipe them away with a trembling hand. Suddenly, a relaxing day at the beach doesn’t seem to be what I need anymore. I down the glass of wine in my hand and hold it out for another.
“Don’t let him ruin this for you. Normally, Carson isn’t such a dick. I don’t know what’s gotten into him.”
“Making excuses for him won’t make me feel less like shit. He’s not wrong, you know. I’m bad news. The only thing you should look forward to is me leaving. You don’t want to get saddled with the drunk party girl.”
“That’s not who you are, and you know it. We’ve been hanging out for two days. I already know that you’re more than that. Carson is in as much pain as you, but he hides behind that asshole façade.”
I move to leave, but Ashton grabs my arm. His gaze pleads with me to stay. I settle back down on the blanket and watch him pull a large cupcake from the basket. My anger dissipates as I snatch the cupcake from him.
“You are pretty perfect.” I smile, shoving most of the cupcake into my mouth. It’s so delicious that I can’t help moaning.
“I always aim to please.”
Leaning back on the sand, I try to get the memory of Carson out of my head while I enjoy the cupcake.
But the cupcake doesn’t help me get over Carson’s rude comments. Ashton’s boarding lessons didn’t help much, either, but I didn’t show how much Carson affected me.
“That was awesome. Thanks again for teaching me.” I smile at him as I dry my legs with a towel.
Ashton winks. “It was fun. I like being a teacher.”
“What are your plans for later?” I ask, hoping he won’t leave me alone.
“I’m actually hooking up with Carson tonight. It’s guys’ night at Nelson’s house. We do the whole poker-and-cigars thing.”
I try not to pout and appear disappointment, but half of me can’t help it. “Oh, no worries. Maybe tomorrow, then?”
“Tomorrow is my day off, so I’m yours the whole day. If you’re still interested in me showing you around, we can take a drive. Hit up all those touristy spots.”
“Yeah, I’d like that.” I pick up my beach bag from the sand and sling it over my shoulder, sliding my sunglasses down from my damp hair.
“Pick you up at ten?” He walks over to me and bends, his face blocking the sun. His lips are perfectly pouty. Flecks of sand dot his tan skin, and his eyes hold so much promise.
The graze is sweet and tender, a flicker of a kiss. He pulls me closer, and I wrap my arms around his broad shoulders. The warmth of his skin settles me but not in a sexual way.
He breaks the kiss, searching for the same thing I am.
“I’m going to say it because I think we’re both feeling it,” I whisper. I slide my hands down to his forearms and hold him close.
“There’s no spark,” he says before I can get the words out.
Relief breezes through me. Thank God I wasn’t wrong. “Yup, I got nothing.”
He pulls me against him, wrapping me into a hug. It’s safe, like it used to be in Royce’s arms before we lost Tilly.
“Tomorrow?” My question is muffled by his chest. I don’t want to look up and have him see me so vulnerable. Even if there isn’t a spark between us, I don’t want to lose him as a friend. Especially not now.
“Definitely. I’ll be there at ten. Wear something comfortable.”
He places a kiss on my head and takes a step back. I give him a small wave and smile before I walk off the beach. My thoughts wander to Carson, and I try to push them away. I shouldn’t be thinking of him at a time like this. He’s not worth my trouble. I’m more confused than ever.
CARSON
“We’re going to be late,” I shout from the front door. Guys’ night is the only small joy I have these days. The rest of the lifeguard team meets twice a month for a poker night. My life before was fueled with parties, trips to exotic locations, or Vegas nights. This is the smallest part of the real me that I indulge in.
“What’s gotten into your shorts? You’ve been such an ass lately.” Ashton brushes past me and grabs his keys from the bowl in the entrance hall.
I can’t hold it in anymore. It’s time to have this conversation even if it’s not the way I planned it. “Bliss isn’t good for you.”
Once it’s out there, I feel like a jerk. Doubting where we stand in our relationship, I try to slow my heart rate. What if he hates me for trying to interfere?
“That’s what’s got you all turned out? You think Bliss is the wrong girl for me?” His laughter fills our tiny apartment as he brushes past me and heads to his car.
“I’m just looking out for you. It’s not like she’s going to be here long, but I want you to realize what type of person she is. She’s from a different world. She has the potential to hurt you.”
My feet crunch on the gravel as I open the passenger door. Ashton leans over the hood to look me in the eye. “It’s not like that. She’s . . . we’re not together.”
There is a hint of sadness in his voice, but it sounds more like disappointment than hurt. The interior of the car is cooler than the air outside, and I shiver a bit as my body adjusts.
“Good,” I say, ready to be done with the topic that is Bliss Meyer.
“I’m not going to stop seeing her, so don’t sound so relieved.” He puts the car in gear and pulls out of the driveway.
“What do you mean you’re going to keep seeing her? You’ve obviously hit it and quit it, so why stick around?”
“We didn’t have sex. One kiss, yes, but nothing else. The kiss made us both realize that there was nothing. No sparks. We decided to be friends instead.”
“You don’t have girls that are friends. You have your regulars and then the tourists.”
A bloom of hope explodes in my chest, but I shove it right the fuck down.
He chuckles. “Carson, if you want to try to get with her, I won’t be mad, but she’s not that type of girl. The one-night stand type. She’s so muc
h more.”
“Dude, seriously? That girl is trouble. She’s materialistic and snobbish. She doesn’t care about anything except drinking and partying. I don’t need that in my life.”
“Is that why you’re so flushed right now? Because she’s not for you? Seems like you have the opposite problem, bro. And how would you know how she is? You’ve seen her three times and have been a dick to her all those times. You’ve never tried to get to know her.”
“I know girls like that. They lead to nothing but trouble.”
“Whatever you say, although I think you’d make an awesome couple. Cute little Carson babies.”
I hit him across his chest. He lets out an oomph but keeps laughing. There is no way I could consider being with that woman. She’s everything I ran away from. If she ever found out who I am, who my family is, it wouldn’t be real. It would be for the money.
“DUDE, I took all of your money. You need to work on your poker face.” Ashton gives me a playful shove on the way to the car.
“I did. No wait, you did.” My voice slurs the words. It’s like they don’t want to come out in the right order. I might have had too much to drink.
“Exactly. You are like reading a book, my friend.” The car beeps as he unlocks it, and we climb in. I lean my head back, relishing the comfort. I could fall asleep right here.
“Don’t you snooze on me. I’m ordering a late-night pizza with this victory money, and you are going to keep your word. Otherwise it’s cleaning the bathroom for the next three months.”
I groan and try to disappear into the leather seat. I hate cleaning. If there was one thing I could have kept from my past life, it’s Jordan, my housekeeper. She was the best. I never even had to pick up my clothes from the floor. God, I was a real douche.
“I’m not sure tonight is the night. Maybe we can hold off till tomorrow?” I’m trying to avoid this stupid bet I made as much as possible. Fucking whiskey.
“No way. This is happening tonight. In fact . . .” He leans over and presses a few buttons on the dashboard to call the pizzeria.