“Correct.”
The next intersection had four-way stop signs. Bean stopped, looked around, then accelerated as if he were going straight, only to hang a last-minute screeching right. Kai winced at the sound of the boards in the back clunking into one another. He hated the thought of dinging them. The car behind them suddenly hung a right too.
“Please be a cop,” Bean muttered, looking into the side-view mirror. “Please be a cop.”
“Don’t think so,” said Kai.
“Red Jeep?”
“Not that either.”
“Then maybe it’s someone we don’t know,” Bean said hopefully.
“Or it’s Goldilocks with a friend,” said Kai.
Bean groaned loudly and kept driving through the dark.
“Any idea where this road goes?” Kai asked.
“Not a clue,” Bean said. He started to chew on the side of his thumb again. “I’m not happy. I’m really not happy. I’m extremely not happy.”
Kai had an idea. “He once called you on your cell phone, right?”
“Yeah? So?”
“Don’t cell phones usually save the return numbers?”
Bean glanced at Kai. “Are you crazy?”
Kai pointed at the car behind them. “You know a better way to find out if that’s him?”
“You really are crazy,” Bean said.
“What’s the problem?”
It was Bean’s turn to gesture to the car following them. “What if it is him?”
“Then he already knows where we are, so what do we have to lose?”
“I hope you know what you’re doing.” Bean dug his cell phone out of his pocket, and handed it to Kai, who went through the numbers, reading the names out loud until he got to Albert Hines.
“Never heard of that one,” Bean said. “Could be him.”
Kai pressed “send.” The phone rang, then someone answered. “Yeah?”
“Albert, that you?” Kai said.
“Yeah, who’s this?”
“Where are you right now?” Kai asked.
There was silence for a moment, then Kai heard Goldilocks mutter to himself, “No fricken way.”
“You’re at No Fricken Way?” Kai asked.
“This the shrooms kid?” Goldilocks asked.
“That’s me.”
“You got my boards in that hearse?” Goldilocks asked.
“Guess that’s you behind us,” Kai said.
“Fuck you.” Goldilocks hung up.
“It’s him?” Bean gestured at the rearview mirror.
“Appears that way,” said Kai.
“I don’t believe this,” Bean moaned.
They were headed down a narrow, winding, tree-lined road. No street lights. Just the thick trunks of trees on both sides. Here and there something streaked in the headlights as a toad hopped away and vanished into the weeds along the sides of the road.
“Don’t try to talk me into losing them, okay?” Bean pleaded. “This ain’t the movies. I’m not into high-speed chases.”
“My guess is, neither are they,” Kai said.
In the headlights a sign came into view:
PRIVATE ROAD BELLE HARBOR GOLF AND TENNIS CLUB NO TRESPASSING
“Crap,” Bean muttered. “Now what do we do?”
“Keep going,” said Kai.
Ten
The road was still lined with trees, but instead of weeds and brush, the shoulders were marked with large painted white stones and neatly mowed grass. It was clear they’d entered the grounds of a private country club. The headlights of the second car lit up the hearse’s side-view mirrors.
“Do we have any idea what we’re doing?” Bean asked.
“Nope,” answered Kai.
They bounced over a speed bump, then passed a small, empty guard’s station on the right. It was hard to see in the dark, but there appeared to be an empty parking lot on the left. The road ahead led to a large clubhouse. On the right were tennis courts.
The second car stayed behind them. Bean’s cell phone rang. Kai looked at the incoming number. “It’s him.” He pressed the phone to his ear. “Hey, Albert, enjoying the ride?”
“You’re trapped,” Goldilocks said.
“How’s that?”
“The only way out is the way you came in.”
“Thanks for telling me,” Kai said.
“You ready to get the shit kicked out of you?”
“By anyone I know?” Kai asked.
“It ain’t gonna be so funny when you’re spitting teeth.”
“Hey, that’s a good line, Albert,” Kai said. “You’re getting better.”
“I’m gonna enjoy this.” Once again Goldilocks hung up.
“What’d he say?” Bean asked nervously.
“He said he’s gonna enjoy this.”
“Enjoy what?”
“Nothing important.”
“We have to do something, Kai,” Bean said.
“I know.” Kai peered through the windshield. Ahead was the clubhouse.
“Come on, dude,” Bean said anxiously, “we’re running out of room.”
In front of the clubhouse was a round plot of lawn with a tall white statue fountain. The driveway circled the statue then rejoined the drive they were now on.
“Keep going,” Kai said.
“I gotcha,” Bean said. “If they follow us, we’ll both go around and then head back out the way we came.”
“Exactly” Kai said.
Bean entered the circular part of the driveway and naturally headed to the right. The car behind them also entered the circular part. Only they headed left. Which meant both cars would meet head on in front of the clubhouse.
“Great idea, Kai,” Bean muttered.
“There.” Kai pointed through the windshield. “See that road?”
Bean squinted. Barely visible in the dark was a slight turnoff to the right. “No. I don’t see any road. I see a path, like for a golf cart or something..”
“Take it,” Kai said.
“Are you crazy?” Bean said. “We have no idea where it goes.”
“Take it,” Kai insisted.
“It’s not meant for cars.”
“Bean, look in front of you,” Kai said.
Bean looked. The other car was coming around the circular driveway. Heading straight for them.
“I’m taking it.” Bean swung the wheel to the right.
The next thing Bean and Kai knew, they were airborne.
Eleven
Looking back on it, Kai wasn’t sure they actually left the ground, but it sure felt like it. The front end of the hearse tilted down as if they’d just gone off the edge of a steep cliff on a sled. The path they were on veered sharply to the right. Going straight was not an option thanks to the row of golf carts parked directly in front of them. Bean spun the steering wheel to the right, and the hearse screeched and skidded, practically going up on two wheels. Kai was thrown against Bean, and in the back the surfboards banged together.
Bouncing down the path in the dark, Bean managed to straighten the hearse out. In the fringes of the headlights, Kai could see what appeared to be a low stone wall on their right and a vast open fairway on their left. Finally regaining control of the hearse, Bean started to hit the brakes.
“Don’t stop,” Kai said.
“Why not?”
“Keep going.”
“But this isn’t even a road.”
“Keep going!”
“You’re crazy,” Bean said, but he did take his foot off the brake. The hearse bounced through the dark on the narrow path.
“Turn off the lights,” Kai said.
Bean turned and stared at him.
“Just do it!” Kai grabbed the flashlight and rolled down the window, lighting the path in front of them with the flashlight beam. Bean killed the headlights and slowed the hearse to a crawl. The golf cart path had gone from paved to unpaved, and the hearse lumbered slowly along. Kai stuck his head out the window and looked behin
d them. There was no sign of following headlights.
“What do you think?” he asked Bean.
“What do I think?” Bean repeated. “You mean, besides the fact that you’re certifiably insane?”
“What do you want to do?”
“Go home.”
“I mean, right now.”
“I know what you meant,” Bean said. “And that’s what I want to do. But somehow it doesn’t appear to be an option, so I guess the next best thing is we park somewhere and lay low until those guys get tired of waiting for us.”
“Okay, here,” Kai said, turning off the flashlight.
Bean pulled the hearse off the path and under a large tree. He cut the engine, and everything went quiet except for loud breathing as Bean and Kai caught their breaths. It was pitch black. The leaves of the tree cut off whatever moon-and starlight would normally illuminate the car. As Kai calmed down he heard crickets chirping.
“Now what?” Bean asked in a whisper.
“We wait,” Kai whispered back.
“Till when?” Bean asked.
“Till he calls again.”
“How do you know he’s gonna call again?”
“Bet you a quarter.”
Bean didn’t reply. They sat in the dark. The hearse made odd clinking noises as it cooled down, but nothing loud enough for anyone far away to hear. The crickets seemed to grow louder, as if the arrival of the strange car in the dark had only temporarily silenced them.
“How long?” Bean asked.
“Probably gonna be a while,” Kai answered.
Bean sighed loudly and shook his head. “Great. And for all we know, those two creeps are out there in the dark, looking for us. I think I liked it better when you were just picking fights with Slammin’ Sam and the wahoos at Screamers.”
“I’m not into picking fights,” said Kai.
“Yeah, you just do what you believe in your heart is right,” Bean said. “Only, for some strange reason, that almost always leads to fights. Know what, Kai? I think it would be really great if you could come up with a nonviolent way to do the right thing.”
“I’ll take it under consideration,” Kai said.
They grew quiet again. It was getting late. Kai yawned.
“I cannot believe you’re relaxed enough to feel tired,” Bean muttered. “I keep waiting for one of those guys to jump out of the dark with an ax in his hands.”
Bean’s cell phone rang. Kai answered it. At first all he heard was loud music. Then Goldilocks said, “Hey, where are you guys?” Goldilocks spoke loudly over the music.
“Where are you?” Kai asked.
“Eighty-eights,” Goldilocks said. “The dance place between Belle Harbor and Sun Haven. Look, screw it, you guys want those boards that bad, you can have them, okay?”
“Thanks.”
Goldilocks hung up.
“Sounded like they were someplace with loud music,” Bean said. “Even I could hear it.”
“Yeah.”
Bean sat up and reached for the key. “Guess that means we can go.”
“No way.”
“Why not?”
“Just wait.”
“Why?”
“They’re still here.”
“No, they’re not,” said Bean. “You heard the music. They’re at some bar or club somewhere.”
“Sorry, partner.”
Bean slumped down in the seat again.
Another fifteen minutes passed. Finally Bean gave Kai a long sideways glance in the dark. “Come on, dude, I don’t want to spend the night here.”
“Okay, turn on the radio,” Kai said.
“What?”
“You heard me.”
Bean turned on the car radio. Kai scanned the stations until he found one he liked. He leaned close to the speaker and punched Goldilocks’s phone number into the cell phone and pressed it to his ear.
“Hello?” Goldilocks answered.
“Hey, Albert, where are you?” Kai asked loudly over the music.
“Uh, Eighty-eights,” Goldilocks said.
“So are we, but I don’t see you,” Kai said.
“You’re at Eighty-eights?” Goldilocks asked. “How?”
“We took the back way out of the golf course,” Kai said.
“What the … Fuck!” Goldilocks hung up.
Kai turned off the car’s radio and brought down his window. Somewhere in the dark a car engine roared to life, and he heard the screech of tires. The sound grew distant as the car sped away.
Kai leaned back in his seat and smiled.
Bean stared at him in amazement. “How the …”
Kai felt the smile slowly leave his face. He hated to think of how he knew what Goldilocks had been up to. Mainly because he’d spent so much time around dishonest lowlifes who thought the same way Goldilocks did. It was nothing to be proud of. “We can go now.”
Twelve
By the time they got back to Sun Haven, Main Street was dark and deserted. Kai was lost in thought.
“Know what I just realized?” Bean muttered. “It almost doesn’t matter where we hide the boards, because all Goldilocks has to do is look for someone driving around in an old hearse. I mean, it’s not like it’s hard to find me.”
“It’s possible,” Kai said.
“Why did I let you talk me into doing this?” Bean asked. “Why, why, why?”
“Because you’re a good guy.”
“Good and stupid,” Bean grumbled. He tapped his fingers against the steering wheel. “So where are we going to hide twelve surfboards anyway?”
“In the one place where Goldilocks won’t want to look,” Kai answered.
“And that would be where?”
Kai smiled at him.
“Oh, no,” Bean groaned.
Next to the embalming room in the basement of the L. Baiter & Son funeral home was the dressing room, where bodies were dressed in their Sunday finest and placed in whatever casket their loved ones had chosen to purchase for the occasion. On previous visits to Bean’s place of residence and work, Kai had noticed that Bean and his father used a conveyor belt to send empty caskets down to the dressing room, and to bring the loaded caskets up and out to the back of the building to be placed in a hearse.
Kai stayed upstairs and fed surfboards onto the conveyor belt while Bean was downstairs in the dressing room taking them off. Once he’d finished, Kai went downstairs to help Bean store the boards safely. Ironically the caskets in the dressing room were stored on the same size sawhorses that a shaper would use for a surfboard.
“How long are we going to keep them here?” Bean asked.
“Don’t know,” Kai said.
“Here’s an idea,” said Bean. “Maybe someday I’ll turn this place into the L. Baiter and Son Funeral Home and Surfboard Shop. When things get slow in the undertaking business, I’ll just use the embalming room as a shaping room, and I’ll paint and glass the boards in here.”
“You could do sponsorship deals and shape your own caskets, too,” Kai said, rapping his knuckles against a heavy dark wooden casket. “Instead of making them out of wood, make them out of foam and fiberglass. And instead of painting them dark brown and black, spray paint them Day-Glo colors with cool designs.”
“With sponsors’ stickers,” Bean quipped. “‘Ladies and gentlemen, this funeral is sponsored by Volcom and Reef.’ Hey, wait, forget the caskets. We could put the sponsors’ stickers right on the bodies themselves for the open-casket viewing. Roberta and David Stevens bring you the body of their dearly beloved father, Morris Stevens, sponsored by Gonzo Traction Pads and Hellfire Surf Wax.”
“Now that’s sick,” Kai said.
Bean twirled the end of his long braided ponytail between his fingers. “I have to say that being your friend has been a truly bizarre and unique experience.” He checked his watch. “It’s late and I have a feeling tomorrow’s gonna be the first day in a week with any kind of rideable surf, so don’t ask me to do anything else tonight, okay?
You’re a great guy, but I’ve done you all the favors I’m going to do, understood?”
“Understood,” Kai said.
“Great. I’ll see you tomorrow.” Bean turned toward the stairs.
“Uh, Bean?” Kai said.
Bean stopped. “Now what?”
“One last favor?”
Kai’s friend stiffened with anticipation. “What’d I just tell you?”
“I was just wondering if I could stay here tonight?”
Bean’s shoulders sagged with relief. “Sure, Kai.”
Thirteen
He and his mom were snorkeling over a shallow reef. Around them in the water half a dozen brownish-green sea turtles flapped their fins lazily and gnawed at outcroppings of coral. The turtles ranged from the size of car tires down to a large pie. Kai and his mom kept trying to touch them, but they always managed to stay just inches out of reach. It almost looked as if they were playing a game. Kai’s mom finally gave up and floated to the surface to watch while Kai kept diving down and chasing the big aquatic reptiles. Just when Kai was about to give up, the largest turtle of all suddenly swam slowly past him. Kai reached out and grabbed the edge of the turtle’s shell just behind the creature’s head. The next thing he knew, the turtle was pulling him through the water. The turtle stretched its head out and glanced back at him with what almost looked like a smile….
Kai opened his eyes and squinted up into the harsh yellow light of a floor lamp. He quickly covered his face with his hand. He was lying on Bean’s floor and someone was talking much too loudly: “Come on, you guys. First waves in more than a week. This is no time for sleep.”
In his drowsy state Kai knew the voice wasn’t Bean’s. He peeked through his fingers and made out the forms of Booger and Shauna standing over him.
“You get them up,” he heard Shauna say. “I’ll get the coffee going.”
Kai’s eyelids felt impossibly heavy. His whole body felt as if it was saturated with the need to sleep. He closed his eyes.
“No way, José,” Booger said.
The toe of a shoe nudged him. “Go away,” Kai groaned.
“You think it’s fair that Shauna doesn’t get to surf because you guys were out late partying last night?” Booger asked.
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