by T L Swan
Maybe I’m just not a good person anymore?
Was I ever?
It’s 8:00 p.m. and I pour my third glass of wine of the night.
I had the worst day in history. Searching all fucking day for evidence, breaking up with Simon, fighting my own thoughts about what kind of person I now am.
I know what happened between Simon and I couldn’t be helped, and I also know that deep down Simon doesn’t love me like he should, either, but it doesn’t make it any easier. I know he will eventually see the truth for himself. One day, I hope we can look at back at our time together with fond memories of each other. I have no idea where things are going with Brock, but I do know that when I’m with him, I feel safe. Which is just so weird because Brock is anything but safe. Strangely, though, when I was with Simon I always felt on edge. I was always petrified that I was going to fuck it up between us. He was so perfect that not even I could believe that he loved me.
Maybe that’s why Brock feels so safe to me. I know that if anyone is going to fuck it up between us, it will be him.
I never thought I would see the day when it’s a such a relief to be with someone who isn’t a shining pillar of society. And I don’t mean that in a derogatory way. Simon is amazing.
It’s just that maybe I’m not.
The security buzzer sounds and I push the intercom. “Hello.”
“Hey,” Brocks deep voice says through the speaker, and a smile instantly crosses my face.
“I thought you were working tonight?”
“Got off early.”
A thrill runs through me that he came over even though we hadn’t planned it. “Come up.” I push the button and open my front door for him. I take out another glass and pour him a wine. Only moments later does his broad smile come into view.
“Hey.” He smiles sexily as he kisses my lips.
I smirk up at his gorgeous face. “Hey.” I pass him his glass of wine and he clinks it with mine. “What are we celebrating?”
My brows rise. “We’re commiserating, actually.”
“What?” He takes a sip.
“The end of my nine-year relationship.”
He frowns. “You spoke to him already?”
“I told you I was calling him today.” I sigh.
“And I told you to wait for me to be here,” he says, annoyed.
I roll my eyes. “Don’t fucking piss me off tonight, okay? I’m not in the mood, Brock. I’ve had the worst day in history.”
He sips his drink slowly, and I can tell he knows that I really am not in the mood. “Well, what did he say?”
I shrug. “He knows it, too. I can tell.”
He watches me for a moment. “Did you tell him about me?”
I nod. “Uh-huh.”
“What did you say?”
I exhale heavily. “I said I was seeing someone, and he asked me if I loved you.”
The front door bursts open and Meredith comes waltzing in, her face falling when she sees Brock.
“Oh.” She looks at him flatly and curls her lip I disgust. “What are you doing here?” she asks him.
Brock raises his eyebrows in surprise at her disdain. “I should ask you the same thing. Don’t you knock?”
I roll my eyes and fill my glass to the brim. I’m not in the mood for this shit tonight.
“Well, it’s wolf pack meeting night,” she tells him matter-of-factly. “You should leave.”
Brock scowls. “What?”
“This is a girls only zone.” She gestures between her and I.
“Meredith,” I sigh.
“I don’t know what bitch-pack meeting night means, but it’s you that should leave. We’re busy,” Brock hits back, unamused.
I frown and give him a subtle shake of my head. “Ten minutes,” I mouth.
Brock rolls his eyes and walks into the bathroom.
Meredith crosses her arms in front of her, annoyed. “Where’s Callie, anyway? We need to get the meeting started.”
“There is no meeting tonight, Meredith. I’ve had a really bad day and I just want to relax with Brock.”
She rolls her eyes. “Oh God.”
The door opens again and my mother waltzes in. “Hello, Meredith. Hi, Tully,” she says greets us both.
I frown. “Mum, what are you doing here?”
“I’ve come to talk some sense into you.”
I give her a subtle shake of my head.
“What is this nonsense about breaking up with Simon for another man? Simon has been on the phone to me heartbroken on and off all night. I came over to see what on earth is going on with you.”
Not now, Mum. I shake my head again, and right on cue, Brock walks out of the bathroom behind her. He purses his lips and assesses the situation.
“Hello,” he says.
My mother turns in surprise, looking him up and down, her mouth falling open.
“Ha ha.” I fake a smile as the blood drains from my face. “Mum, this is Brock.”
She turns to me, and then back to him, repeating the process several times before she manages to actually speak.
“Wh—I mean. Wh—”
This is a first. She’s been rendered speechless.
“Mum, Brock is my… friend,” I add.
“Boyfriend,” Brock corrects, looking very unimpressed.
My eyebrows rise by and I swallow the lump in my throat.
My mother frowns as he takes her hand in his and shakes it.
“And your name is?” he asks.
“Robyn.” She twists her lips as she tries to hold her tongue.
“Would anyone like a beer?” Brock asks, making his way to the fridge.
I drain my wine glass in one gulp. Fucking hell, this is a disaster. This is not how I planned their first meeting to go.
“I can’t drink beer,” Meredith says. “It makes my vagina smell.”
Brock’s entire face curls up in disgust as he looks around at her, while I just carry on and pour myself another glass of wine. God, help me. I drain the glass quickly.
“I don’t think you’re her boyfriend, dear.” My mother fakes a smile. “That’s a bit premature, isn’t it?”
Brock opens the beer and takes a sip, holding my mother’s eyes. “Not at all.”
The two of them enter some kind of stare-off. Oh no.
“Yes, because it’s best if I drink wine, too,” Meredith continues as she hints to be offered a glass of wine. “I don’t want to smell tomorrow. I have a date in the storeroom.”
“Meredith!” I snap. “We don’t want to hear about your badly smelling vagina in the broom closet.”
My mother winces at what I’ve just said, and then she turns her attention back to Brock and fakes a smile. “Tully is just confused at the moment.”
“Hmm.” Brock glares at her. “Seems like a lot of people are.”
I begin to perspire. Doesn’t he know that my mother runs the Simon For Life fan club?
“Tully, I thought you said you were going to stick with your vibrator because it isn’t an entitled ass that thinks it’s God’s gift to women like Brock does,” Meredith says seriously.
My mother frowns in horror, and Brock smirks. How the heck does he find this amusing?
“Meredith!” I snap. “You need to go home now. That is not an appropriate thing to say.”
“But you said it first. Remember? When you were fighting with Brock and he told you he was going to drag you to the car?”
My mother turns to Brock in outrage. “You threatened her with violence?”
Brock rolls his eyes. “No. But Meredith is in danger of some any second now.”
“Tully is taking three weeks off to masturbate with all of her batteries,” Meredith tells them both. “Aren’t you, Tully?”
I widen my eyes and drain my glass of wine.
Help me!
“Good God, Meredith,” my mother cries. “Stop talking about that. It’s offensive.”
“No, it’s just natural,” Meredith repli
es innocently. “You should really try it. It’s very good for your stress levels. We can take you to the sex shop, if you like. We go there after the beach sometimes. They even have fake pussies with hair on them.”
Brock glares at Meredith and points to the door.
She narrows her eyes. “You’re not in the wolf pack, you know.”
He points again but doesn’t say a word, not needing to, and Meredith turns to walk through the door, turning back at the last moment. “This wolf pack meeting sucked.”
Brock points the door again and she finally disappears out into the hallway, the door closing behind her.
Brock turns to me and puts his arm around my shoulders. I know it’s a power play to annoy my mother. “Would you like a glass of wine, Robyn?” he asks sweetly.
She glares at him. “I wouldn’t get too comfortable around here if I were you.”
He smiles calmly. “If you say so.”
“Will you two stop it!” I snap. My head begins to spin from the litre of wine I have sunk in record speed. “Brock is my new friend, Mum, and we are having fun together. I can make my own decisions. I am not getting back with Simon. You need to get that into your head.”
Brock rolls his lips as he listens.
“If I wanted to be with Simon, Mum, I would be with Simon.” I throw my arms up in the air. “And quite frankly, I’m annoyed that he calls you like a baby to whine about me.”
“He wasn’t whining.”
“He called you, didn’t he?”
She exhales heavily and folds her arms over her chest. “You’re just confused.” She mutters under her breath.
“No. I’m. Not,” I cry out.
“Tully.” Brock tries to calm me, and I pull out of his arms.
“Now if you both don’t mind, I’ve had a really shitty day. I’m going to bed. You two let yourselves out.” I storm to my bedroom and slam the door shut behind me.
Fuckers.
Chapter 14
“So, then what happened?” Rourke frowns as he looks into the microscope, deep in concentration.
“I don’t know. I went to sleep with the shits. When I woke up, they were both gone, so I’m assuming they left soon after I stormed off.” I shrug. “They probably had a fight on the way out. Both of them are strong characters, and Brock was definitely not putting up with her interfering crap.”
“Jesus.” He picks up another slide and puts it under the microscope. “Why is Simon calling your mother now?”
“Because my parents love him, and his mother and father have become best friends with my mother and stepfather.”
Rourke scowls. “It’s just weird.”
“I know.” I blow out a deep breath. “And fucking annoying.”
“Did you call Brock this morning?”
“No.” I drop into my seat. “And I’m not going to. I’m not getting railroaded by him, either.” I turn on my computer and wait for it to boot up.
“Hey.” I hear a familiar voice over my shoulder, and I smile. “How’s my favourite sister?”
I smile as Peter walks into the lab. “Hello.”
He turns his attention to Rourke. “Hey, Rourke.” He smiles at everyone around us and waves.
“Got time for a coffee?” he asks.
“I can’t. I just had a break.” An idea comes to me and I narrow my eyes. “Has Mum sent you in here to talk to me?”
He smirks. “She may have called me at six in the morning to tell me you’ve lost your mind and that I need to speak to you urgently.”
I groan out loud. “Oh, for God’s sake.” I slam the folder across to the other side of my desk. “She’s a damn busy body, and she needs to mind her own business.”
Pete chuckles.
“What did you say to her?” I snap.
He holds his hands up in front of him, sensing my frustration. “Just that I would check on you.”
“Checked.” I roll my eyes. “Now, I’m very busy and I have to get back to work. You should go.”
He leans onto my desk with his behind. “Who’s this guy that you’re seeing?”
“Oh God, not you, too?” I begin to hit the keys on my computer with force. Why is everyone so fucking annoying?
“What?” He smiles innocently.
“I’d be careful if I were you,” Rourke mutters as he studies his specimen. “She’s in full bitch mode today.”
I glare at Rourke and he withers, wisely choosing to go back to his microscope.
“I’m just seeing someone casually. It’s nothing serious. It’s just a guy I met at the gym.”
“Okay.” He stands and smirks at Rourke. “My job here is done. Information will be reported.”
I roll my eyes. “You’re as bad as Simon, running to Mum all the time.”
He chuckles. “Nobody’s as bad as Simon.” He shakes his head as he walks out of the office. “He’s got her on speed dial.”
I walk to the bus stop, deep in thought. I haven’t heard from Brock today and it makes me wonder what my mother said to him last night. The poor bastard. He didn’t ask to be brought into all this shit with my ex and his little fan club. I’ll call him when I get home. I lean on the side of the shelter, take my phone out and scroll through it. A message pops up from Brock. I smile and click it open.
BROCK: You look gorgeous today.
Pink is your colour.
I smile and frown. How does he know I’m wearing pink? I glance up and there, across the road, he’s standing, leaning against his parked car. He’s wearing blue jeans, a white T-shirt, and his dark, messed up hair and sexy smile make my heart flutter in my chest. My phone beeps again.
BROCK: Need a ride?
I smile and make my way over.
“Hi,” I breathe.
“Hi.” His playful eyes hold mine. He has that look about him, the one that talks to my lady parts. No, actually, it doesn’t talk. It conquers them and drags them back to his cave, neanderthal style.
I smile as the energy swirls between us. It feels like I haven’t seen him in forever. “You didn’t call me today.
“You seemed like you needed some space.”
“Not from you.”
He takes my hand in his and pulls me close, wrapping his big arms around me. I close my eyes as he holds me tight. I don’t think there is a better feeling than being in his arms.
“Do you want to go and get something to eat?”
I smile up at him. “Actually, I would like to fuck, but we can eat first, I suppose.”
He chuckles and throws me a sexy wink. “Good plan.” He opens the car door for me and I climb in, smiling to myself. I turn into a different person when I’m with him. I would never have said something that suggestive to Simon.
Brock starts the car, and ten minutes later we are sitting in a Mexican restaurant. Mariachi music is being piped throughout the garden courtyard, and there are beautiful fairy lights strung out overhead to create a magical feel.
It’s a warm summer night, and for the first time in two days, I feel relaxed
“What will it be?” the cute waiter asks us, armed with his notepad and pen.
Brock gestures to me and I frown as I peruse the menu. “Can I have a salted margarita in a martini glass, and the nachos, please?”
“Sure thing.” He turns his attention to Brock.
“I’ll have a Corona and the nachos.” He folds his menu in half and passes it over before his eyes come up to mine. “Blow out.”
I smirk. “What does that mean?’
“It means I don’t eat crap and drink on a week night. I’m usually at the gym right now. You’re a bad influence, Pocket.”
My mouth falls open. “Me?” I gasp. “You’re the only bad influence around here.”
He slides his hand up my leg under the table and licks his lips as his naughty eyes hold mine. There it is—that electricity I get from his every touch.
“Thank you.” I sigh.