by Jackson Kane
“Right.” I turned around to let her change out of the wet clothes.
“What kind of car is this? It looks crazy old.”
“It’s the same nineteen-thirty-seven Plymouth my grandfather had.” It took a long time, but the body was finally back to perfect. I’d just installed the new fender, replaced the headlights and put in the windshield. All I had to do now was fire up the engine and hope for the best.
“All set.” She handed me her wet clothes. The printed T shirt was two sizes too large and the sweats were baggy enough to fit another person in. She planted a hand on her hip and gave me an exaggerated pose. “Supermodels beware. How do I look?”
Maybe I was blind or biased, but somehow she kept getting prettier. Something about the way she smiled and pouted and generally bounced around made me want all of her, not just her body. I couldn’t describe how much I loved seeing her in frumpy thrill show swag.
I never thought I’d ever let anyone in this room, now I couldn’t image being in here without her.
“Perfect," I said in all honesty, and watched Autumn immediately start blushing. She dropped the runway model act and turned away, but not before I saw a beautiful smile spread across her face.
I loved that smile more than I ever thought I could.
“I’m so sorry about your… Are they feeling better?” Autumn asked timidly while picking up a framed picture of my father’s car flying over an old milk truck.
“They’ll survive.” I balled up the cold pack and tossed it at the far wall.
“‘Crash Teller and the Death Chasers’. Nice.” Autumn ran her fingers along the thick blue stripe with white stars that ran down the center of the car. My father’s nickname was red lettering and it popped over the traditional white paint. “I love the design. Very retro.”
“I found one of his original stencil kits.” I placed my free hand on the hood. Of all the things I was restoring in here, I was most proud of this car. I chuckled. “It wasn’t retro back then. I’m sure they found it unironically cool.”
“Heh, yeah. That makes sense.” She spun in a slow circle taking in the room again. “You should open this place up to the public! I’m sure people would come here in droves and pay to see all this.”
I shook my head. I had no interest in letting anyone else know where I lived, too many people knew already. And if that info ever got into the wrong hands…I didn’t want to think about that.
“I take it you didn’t read the whole story about what happened.”
“I just heard it was bad…” Autumn paused, trying to find the most tactful way of continuing. “Some kind of malfunction, I think?”
“Crash was attempting to set a ramp-to-ramp jump record. Spectators heard his car misfiring as he approached the ramp, but he tried to jump anyway. The Plymouth fell short, hitting the landing ramp at windshield height. He died instantly in front of thousands of fans and millions of TV and internet viewers.” I had to take a moment to fully collect myself. I’d never had to tell this story to anyone before. The people that knew he was my father never asked me about it.
“My father was reckless and dangerous toward the twilight of his career. Even my lunatic brother, Keats, walked away from him at the end. Crash’s hubris and hunger to stay in the spotlight didn’t just kill him it killed the whole thrill show industry. New safety laws were enacted because of what happened and that pissed almost everyone off. Thrill show daredevils around the country were effectively castrated from doing all the exciting stunts, which led to a nosedive in ticket sales.
“When my father died—the selfish bastard that he was—he took the whole industry down with him.”
“I had no idea. I guess that’s not the kind of attention you’re looking for.” Autumn pulled her mouth to the side and tugged at her ear, feeling a little embarrassed. She looked from the car to me hesitantly. “Was this the same kind of car that your dad…”
“Died in?” I finished her thought. “It’s fine.”
People died all the time. Good people, bad people, it didn’t matter. I kept those dark thoughts and the hard memories to myself like always.
“Yeah.” The idea of a dead parent really bothered Autumn. I understood of course. With everything going on with her mother I could imagine that frightening possibility was never far from her mind.
“I salvaged what I could from his wreck. It took about three years to fabricate or buy all the original parts, but it’ll be done soon.”
“The same exact car? Wow.” Autumn’s mouth dropped as she looked over the car again. If she wasn’t told she’d never be able to tell that it had ever been damaged. Something dark crossed her mind that made her body shiver. “I saw the pictures online. There wasn’t much left. Of the car, I mean.”
“Yeah. Between the impact and the fire, I basically bought several tons useless twisted metal.” I took a deep breath to ward away memories of first seeing the mangled wreck in person. I didn’t want to scare her with the details. The worst part was having to deal with all the blood and blackened remains the coroner didn’t take. “It was…difficult.”
I looked away, feeling an unexpected rush of loss. That dull pain of losing someone important never fully disappeared. It just went dormant for long periods of time. I ran a hand over my face and through my hair.
Christ, with all the friends and family I’d lost, I should be better at this by now.
Autumn caught my hand on the way back down and offered a warm, gentle smile that cut through my lingering grief. She might not be able to relate, but it was really nice to believe that she might give a damn. “Does it run?”
“Huh?” I cleared my throat and blinked, forcing my eyes to dry out. “That’s a great question.” I honestly didn’t know. I’d just finished repairing the engine last night, but was too exhausted to try it and find out it needed more work. Or maybe I was afraid of actually hearing it start up. It was one thing to work on something important, but finishing it?
What could I possibly move on to after a project like this?
“You want to find out with me?” I smiled weakly, slowly blowing out the rest of my air. It was harder than it should’ve been to get the words out.
“Definitely!” She replied immediately. Her excitement was contagious and comforting. I’d been dreading this moment, but having her here made it less scary. I cocked my head for her to get in the driver’s side. “Seriously?” Her awkward downward smile was all teeth as she waited for my reassuring nod. “Yay!”
Autumn carefully put the towel down to not get the bench-style seat wet. I slid in next to her from the other side and told her how to start it. I placed the key in her hand and told her to cross her fingers. Years of hard work boiled down to this one moment.
Autumn bit the corner of her lip and reverently slipped the key into the ignition. Good or bad, I really liked sharing this moment with her. It was hard to explain, but doing this alone would’ve been difficult.
There was a suspenseful delay as the engine struggled to turn over, but then it caught and roared to life.
The engine was running too loud and would need some fine tuning, but that was only a few hours of work. Soon I’d have it purring like it just came off the assembly line.
“It’s incredible!” She shouted excitedly, flashing that incredible smile of hers. It was impossible not to get lost in the glee spreading across her pretty face. I exhaled, feeling tingles running up my back and resolved to just enjoy this small triumph with her.
“Go ahead, back it out.” I easily convinced her. She hesitantly put it into reverse, laid an arm along the seat behind my head and slowly pulled out.
“This is so cool!” She cheered. When we cleared the garage I gave her a brief tutorial on how to shift gears on a manual, then instructed her to turn to the left and put it in first. The car jerked forward as she struggled to get the foot work right, then stalled out completely. “Aww. Less cool.”
“Slow is fast. Take your time and figure it out. You got this
.” I reached over and started the car back up. Autumn did a little better this time, but the car stalled out just after driving past the garage door entrance. The nose of the car was now closely parallel to the building. If I opened my passenger door it might clip the barn doors to the attached horse stables.
That’s how all this got started— Me and Autumn and whatever this was. I absently rubbed the spot on my shoulder where the mustang kicked me, feeling a line of stitches that would be coming out soon. Fucking around with the Plymouth definitely would’ve spooked the horses; it was a good thing I turned them out this morning.
I turned the ignition again, but I could tell she was all set with giving it another try. Leaving the engine running, we rolled up the windows, blocking out most of the engine’s thunderous noise and trapping in all the old memories. The car’s vibration mixed with the lingering scent of oil and familiar feel of worn fabric giving me a powerful dose of nostalgia.
“I was a little kid the first time my father ever drove me around in this car.” I closed my eyes, the decades old excitement creasing the corner of my lips.
“This was before Frost was born, Keats was still a toddler.” Opening my eyes I glanced over at Autumn, who smiled warmly and gave me her undivided attention. “It was my first day of elementary school and I was in full-on tantrum mode. Bribes, threats, none of it worked. No matter what Mom tried I refused to go.” I leaned in to Autumn. “Between you and me, I was scared.”
“So you were stubborn even back then?” Autumn’s smile spread wider.
“If anything, I was worse.” I chuckled. “Finally, losing his patience, Dad grabbed me and my little backpack and unceremoniously dumped me in the Plymouth. He had it towed in from my grandfather’s storage unit the summer before. I was too young to help him, but he let me bring him tools and ask him too many questions while he worked on it.
“He told me If I stopped crying, he’d let me drive to school. My tantrum didn’t last long after that.” I blew out my air in a burst and raised my eyebrows. “I sat on his lap and steered the whole way. The school gave him some serious shit for it when they saw us pull in, but it was worth it. I was the coolest kid in my school for years because of that.”
“That is the most adorable thing I’ve ever heard,” Autumn said. “I think your dad would’ve loved seeing this car come back to life.”
“Him and I had a complicated relationship.” I spared her a quick glance. “In fact, the last time I heard this car fire up was the day I ran away. My father was out here in the shop changing the oil. We’d just got into a massive fight about his decision to remarry less than a year after Mom died. I just couldn’t handle him forgetting about her so quickly so I packed a backpack and stole one of his bikes and took off. When I rode past that open garage door to get out onto the road we shared a moment in the split second.” I pointed toward the open bay we’d walked through to get in. “My look told him ‘I was leaving forever’, and his said, ‘good riddance’.
“That was the last time I ever saw him until they had me come in and identify his body after that big crash.” It was a few years ago now, but I still remembered every second of that day in the morgue.
“God, that’s awful,” Autumn said after a long pause. “Your bothers couldn’t do that?”
“Frost flat out refused. He wasn’t all that close to Dad either. And Keats… Well, Keats kind of turned off for a while. I think he was too close to Dad to be able to deal with that.” I shrugged. “It made sense that I do it.”
We sat in silence for a little just listening to the engine.
“If Keats was the closest to your Dad, then why did he leave everything to you and not your brother?” Autumn asked.
“I don’t know.” Breathing became harder. I snorted, cracking a defensive half grin. I desperately drove down the swell of feelings that flooded me, but it was like trying to fight back the tide. The grief was quickly becoming overwhelming. “Life’s great mysteries, huh?”
“Your father sounded like a proud man. Maybe he knew he couldn’t say what he felt in life so he it said it the only way he knew how.” Autumn stuttered with emotion, but got herself to push through it. “Maybe—maybe it was his way of apologizing to you for not being there when you needed him?”
I started several times, but my words failed me. I had to look away. My fists clenched tight enough to whiten and crack all my knuckles. I fought the urge put my hands through the dashboard, but it was only a matter of time before all that emotion had to vent.
You’re not a child anymore. I reprimanded myself for the mounting weakness. I relived all the hard lessons Mitch beat into me. Do not fucking cry. Never again.
I thought that restoring this car was my way of grieving for my father, but I couldn’t have been more wrong. This was just another distraction; a way for me to avoid everything for a little while longer. Now with this car finished all those regrets crushed me like a rock slide.
Autumn’s eyebrows pushed together and angled up in a look of compassion that made me gasp in air. She took my hand and placed it on her lap. Her newly calloused hands were so beautiful in their own right; a testament to how hard she fought for what she wanted. I wanted to tell her how proud I was of her, how much I admired her strength but I didn’t know how.
For being so skilled in so many things, I was such a mess in the things that really mattered. Anger and selfishness drove me to my goals and allowed me to not care about anyone. More than all the dangerous stunts I’d ever done, I knew that it was vulnerability that was going to get me killed.
Being with Autumn was a mistake on every level.
“Hey,” she said in a whisper, quiet voice thick with understanding. It rattled all my hardwired defenses. I was a knight returning home from a long, bloody war and Autumn was there peeling off my battered, metal armor piece by piece. She gently opened my fists and said something I hadn’t heard since I was a small boy, something that utterly tore me apart. “It’s OK.”
And for the first time in forever it actually felt like it. So much so that I lowered my head and quietly started to cry.
Autumn wrapped her arms around me and pulled me tighter than anyone ever had, comforting me as I wept. When the massive swell of pain had finally past I saw what was truly in front of me this whole time.
I think I loved her.
I kissed Autumn like the world was crashing down around us. In a rumbling classic car, chock full of some of the best and worst memories of my life, she and I added our own history to it.
I couldn’t see it at the time, but looking back I would spend the rest of my life realizing that our world did end that night.
Chapter 21
Dante
The chassis rocked as we crashed into the door. This wasn’t sex, it was a shaken can of soda popping off; it was passion unleashed. I tore away from her soft, full lips long enough to tear off my shirt and toss it in the back seat. I lived for the sultry look in her eyes when I went topless. My hard body was a patchwork of tattoos and scars, and the only ache I felt in my balls now was one of craving Autumn.
I pulled the loose thrill show shirt off Autumn. Her beautiful tits spilled out, they were almost milky-white in comparison to the rest of her tan, toned body. Heat climbed up my scalp at the sight of them. I’d forgotten her bra was in the soaked pile she’d given me before she changed. Despite all the sun block, she still had tan lines from the tank tops she’d been wearing. It gave her decadent body a taboo flare that stoked the raging fire burning within me.
My teeth clipped against the silver stud in her ear as I bit firmly, my hot breath running down her neck made her shiver.
Years of pent up rage and sorrow drained away when I tasted her skin. The faint notes of pool bleach still on her skin did nothing to slow my pounding heart. Last time on the ship was fun and light and some of the best meaningless sex I’d ever had, but this time was so different. It was urgent and sweaty and messy. This time she was surrendering herself fully to me. And I would tak
e all of her.
Every fucking inch.
I slammed a palm against the driver’s side window and used the leverage to slide a hand under her ass and squeeze; the force lifted her off the seat a few inches.
“Yes.” Autumn moaned loudly. Her head lulled back as she exhaled, opening her delicious neck to me. Her hair cascaded down her shoulder like a mahogany stream over a field of pale, golden wheat.
I cupped her breast as I kissed down her neck. My nose filtered out the bleach, oil, and smoke and left me with just the natural beauty that was her. She tasted so good I wanted to bathe her whole body with my tongue.
Grasping the wheel, she propped herself up and dragged a hand down my back. Autumn stuttered in air when her fingertips grazed the burn scars from the day I saved her. That felt like so long ago now.
Could people really change this much in such a short time?
At first I thought of Autumn as another addiction. Thoughts of her were a habit I had to break. Every fucked up experience I’d ever had scolded me for being such a fool to think she could actually be my happiness, but having Autumn in my arms told me otherwise.
Maybe, just maybe if life threw the right person at you, a person could really change.
All it took was a moment and an open heart to change someone’s world. I pushed my closed eyes into the smooth nook where her shoulder met her neck; desperately wanting to believe that was true.
“I’ve wanted this for so long,” she exhaled out the words as I bit down her collarbone, working my mouth down her sun-kissed skin. Her back arched into me, heaving her tits up further into my face.
I didn’t bother trying to find words; instead I drank in her pillowy-soft flesh, sliding a knee between her and the seat and pulling her hard against my cock. The pressure made her squirm, clutching wildly for the button on my pants.
Letting out a frustrated grunt that was obscenely adorable, she pushed me away and attacked the front hem of my pants. I kissed her pink lips, running a hand up the side of her face, aching for her rough, clumsy touch.