A.J.’s blush went scarlet. He met Ryder’s eyes briefly, then cleared his throat and put his attention on the man’s feet. “No, Sir. I left it. I…wanted it there.”
Heavy, telling silence.
Then Ryder said, “Good.”
A.J. rose to his feet. He helped Lyss onto the bed, then reached for his little bag. “I brought lotion and massage oil,” he confessed in a throaty whisper. “If my Lady would like me to massage her knees, I would be more than happy to do so.”
“Our slave is very thoughtful indeed,” Lyss said, sounding grateful. “But first, I would like to see you help our Sir out of his clothes. Since he seems to have forgotten he has them on.”
Ryder looked down at himself in surprise, then let loose a bark of laughter. He still wore his jacket and shirt from the auction, both now disheveled. His pants were open, his cock hanging out, and his shorts were bunched up and peeking out of his zipper.
A.J. hid a smile and gestured for Ryder to turn so he could help the man remove his jacket. They made short work of the rest of Ryder’s clothes, until he was just as naked as Lyss. A.J. was admiring the spread-winged eagle inked on Ryder’s back when he turned—and made A.J. stare in open awe.
Ryder had more tattoos that A.J. had originally thought. The sleeves covering his upper arms joined with an elaborate chest piece featuring a rampant gryphon surrounded by twining rose vines. The vines had thorns, each one appearing to pierce Ryder’s skin, complete with little droplets of bright red blood. A pair of roses decorated his stomach just above his belly button. And on either side of his pelvis, a pair of black metal guns had been inked out in loving detail, both with barrels pointed straight toward his cock. If Ryder held his hands the right way, it would look as if he were holding the guns, preparing to lift them up to aim at an enemy.
Ryder looked down, following A.J.’s stunned gaze, and laughed. “Got those when I got my shield. Commemorating my license to kill, so to speak. You like?”
A.J. nodded, unable to tear his eyes away. “Very much, Sir.” He shook himself, forcing his focus back toward the task at hand. “I have oils and lotions for both of you, if you would like a massage. I also have brushes for my Lady’s hair. If you will allow me?”
“Permission granted,” Lyss said softly, eyes shining.
She and Ryder both crawled up the bed, lying side-by-side against the pillows. A.J. crawled up after them, unzipping his little bag and pulling out several small bottles. He went to work on Lyss’s lower legs, massaging the red marks on her knees and shins until she sighed blissfully. Hiding a smile, A.J. sat back.
“If my Lady would sit on the edge of the bed, I could brush your hair.”
She nodded, sliding forward while A.J. situated himself behind her. Ryder watched intently while A.J. started working the snarls out of her beautiful tresses, his scrutiny heavy enough for A.J. to feel it on his skin. After a few silent moments, Ryder spoke.
“Someone trained you very well, A.J. The way you speak, the way you act, the things you’re doing now…I don’t think I’ve ever seen such a well-trained servant-slave. Learning all that must have taken some time. Here we were afraid you had no idea that you were a submissive, yet you’re more comfortable in this role than we’ve seen you since we’ve been together. That’s impressive.”
A.J. froze for a second, but immediately returned to his task. “Thank you, Sir.”
Ryder didn’t speak for a moment, as if he hoped A.J. would continue without prompting. But since he hadn’t asked a specific question, A.J. chose to pretend he didn’t have to answer the unspoken questions beneath Ryder’s words. He knew he couldn’t lie to Ryder or Lyss, no matter how much the truth might hurt A.J. on the way out. But, there were some things better left unspoken.
Better to play it safe.
Finally, Ryder gave a soft sigh and murmured, “How did you get into BDSM, A.J.? Where did you start?”
Damn, he should have known that would be the first question. A.J. hid a sigh, but didn’t even think of lying to them. “Austin introduced me to it,” he admitted softly.
A pause. Then, “Explain,” Ryder said.
So he told them how he and Austin met at MIT, and how they’d become friends immediately. “We dated…once,” he admitted, not daring to look at Ryder. “We were better as friends. But that was also when he told me he was a Dom. He said he knew I would enjoy the lifestyle if I would just give it a chance, but at the time…well, I just wasn’t ready.”
“So how did you finally get into it?” Lyss asked.
“When he first told me about it, I thought it sounded…wrong. But the idea kind of stuck with me. I did a lot of research, after Austin made me aware of it. Joined some online forums. Found a lot of crazy folks before I stumbled on a real community.” He took a deep breath. “I had just started thinking about trying it in real life when…when I met Marian.”
Silence from his lovers. A.J. sighed, but kept going. “She wasn’t into the lifestyle. At all. So I let it go. Pretended it didn’t matter. Austin had moved to Houston by then, so I didn’t have his influence right there with me. I told myself I didn’t need it, that it was just a hobby that I could put aside for my wife and son. It worked…for a while.”
“But?” Ryder prompted.
A.J. concentrated on making Lyss’s hair shine, forcing himself to speak blandly, without emotion. “But then my marriage fell apart.” He could feel his lovers getting ready to protest, to ask more questions about him and Marian. A.J. hurried on, hoping to deflect them. “After she filed for divorce, I was a wreck. Didn’t know what to do with myself. Eventually, I called Austin. He’d always said that if I needed him, he would be there.”
Ryder sucked in a breath, but A.J. kept talking. “When he got to Quantico, he saw the state I was in and declared that I needed a night out. Something fun, to get my mind off things. He knew of a club nearby. I didn’t realize he meant a BDSM club. I agreed to let him take me. And when we got there…”
Lyss turned and took the brush from his hand, giving him a soft smile. She moved back up to the headboard, sitting next to Ryder and threading their fingers together. A.J. knelt in the center of the bed, the metal cuffs cold against his thighs, and steeled himself.
“We spent one night together. Austin…showed me what I’d been missing. And yes, before you ask, we had sex. But still, he and I weren’t…right for each other. I was more interested in the concept of submission than I was in submitting to him. I hope you can forgive me.”
Ryder scowled. “Why the hell would you ask me that? Why would I be jealous of something that happened when we weren’t together? Keep going, A.J. What happened after that?”
Mollified, A.J. released a breath he hadn’t been aware of holding. Ryder wasn’t upset that he’d slept with Austin. Thank God for small favors.
“Austin told me that if I ever wanted to get away, I could move to Houston with him. He said he owned a club here, and that if I wanted the lifestyle, this would be the place to start.” A.J. closed his eyes, old pain making his chest hurt. “I told him no. Marian and I were still in the middle of our custody battle. I still had a chance to get joint custody of my son. So, I stayed. I shouldn’t have.” The last came out in a pained, breathless whisper.
“Why not?” Lyss prompted him, just as breathlessly.
A.J. met her gaze, hiding nothing. “I stayed for Tyler’s sake, but…it was a mistake. Because the club…that night I spent with Austin…it got into my blood. I started going back there. Alone. I never told him about it. Never told anyone. But I went back, started going back every single night. I was like an addict, feeding a fix. I met a lot of Dominants. And I figured out what I did—and didn’t—want from the lifestyle. I became obsessed.”
He balled his fists, eyes going distant as memory assaulted him. “It was a mistake. A huge mistake. You see, Marian had been trying to get sole custody. She’d told the judge that the reason I wasn’t a fit parent was because I was…a sexual deviant.”
&nb
sp; “What the hell?” Ryder snarled.
A.J. shrugged. “You might as well know, Ryder. She found out about you…about the night we spent together.” Ryder’s mouth immediately popped open, but A.J. hurried on, hoping to deflect any questions about how she found out. “Marian was…very religious. To her, my having been with a man meant I was unclean, tainted. She tried to convince the judge of that. He was a homophobic asshole, but he also knew that I could have his judgment overturned if he used that as his excuse. The custody hearings started getting dragged out, extensions and whatnot. I should have realized they had a reason for doing it. But…I didn’t.
“They had a private investigator following me,” A.J. confessed. “They knew I was going to the BDSM club. But since the building itself was unmarked, and the investigator couldn’t figure out a way to get into the club to take pictures, they couldn’t use it against me at first.
“But eventually…they found a way. Someone who was a member of the club, who was willing to take pictures of me in exchange for a waiver on some bail-jumping charge. They took pictures of me while I was…with a Dom. And they used those pictures to prove I was a sexual deviant.”
His voice came out flat, emotionless. “They took my son away. Forever. At first, I was trying to get supervised visits at the very least, to prove myself a capable parent. But when those photos came out…they damned me. They took Tyler away, and told me if I tried to see him, I would go to jail for the rest of my life.”
“Oh, sweetie,” Lyss said, heartbreak in her voice.
A.J. shrugged again. “Yeah, well. It happened. And it was my fault. If I hadn’t been so obsessed with the club, I might have realized what they were trying to do. I damned myself.”
Ryder had a black scowl now. “Well, we know a couple of damn good lawyers, A.J. If you want, we can…”
He shook his head. “No, it’s okay. That’s not why I told you about…what happened. You wanted to know how I got into BDSM. That’s how. And when I finally lost custody, I called Austin and asked him to help me move here. He did…and immediately offered me a membership to Club S.”
Lyss nodded slowly. “He said…he knew about your past with Ryder. And that he’d tried to get the three of us together before this.”
“I still don’t understand why the fucker didn’t just say something,” Ryder grumbled. “How hard is it to just say something directly?”
A.J. gave him an ironic smile. “Probably because he knew I wasn’t ready, Ryder. When I first moved here…I was a total mess. I hated BDSM and never wanted to experience it again. I thought…I thought it ruined my life. So even though I wanted to experience Austin’s club, I couldn’t bring myself to open his welcome packet. I thought I was better off without it.”
“What changed your mind?” Lyss asked.
“You did,” A.J. answered immediately. He looked down at his lap, toying with the cuffs on his wrists. “When I first got here, I knew I wasn’t ready for anything. At all. So I put off opening Austin’s welcome packet, because I didn’t want the club to become an obsession the way it had before. But when I ran into the two of you, I knew I wanted…something else. A way to be with you. Austin had already been trying to get me into the auction. He and I were talking the other night, and he finally convinced me to open his welcome package. He had me look at the booklet, the one that has all the Dominants who are willing to take on new subs for training. And when I saw your photo in the Club S booklet, I knew that I could finally have something I really, truly wanted.”
Both of them frowned, starting to protest, but A.J. wasn’t finished. They were still holding hands, so he slid forward until his knees touched each of their thighs, and took their clasped hands in his own. “Ryder, I made the worst mistake of my life eight years ago, when I ran from you. But, if I hadn’t done that, you might never have found Lyss. When I ran into you guys and found out you were married, I knew it was meant to be. You guys are perfect for each other. But even knowing that, I knew I wanted a way to…be with you. Both of you.”
He looked back and forth between them. “When I found out you were both into BDSM, I knew there was a way I could be with you.” He let go with one of his hands, reaching up to touch his collar. “This gives me the right.” He touched one of his cuffs. “And this. That ad you put in the booklet, the one saying you were looking for a permanent third, gave me my answer. This is my way to be with you. I want this. I want to be your slave. So I can be a part of you, without coming between you. Without ruining your relationship.”
Ryder leaned forward, wrapping one big hand behind A.J.’s head. “BDSM is a tool, a lifestyle choice, not an obligation. We crave your submission, but we need you more. We don’t need a collar and cuffs to make you ours, A.J.”
He took a deep breath and met Ryder’s eyes squarely. “I do,” he said simply.
Ryder stared at him in silence for a moment before sitting back against the headboard. Then he whispered, “About what happened at the auction, A.J. I’m sorry about that. About how we…froze.”
A.J. shook his head. “It wasn’t your fault…”
Ryder cut him off. “It was. I saw you up there, and I just…freaked out. I thought I’d lost my chance with you again. Our chance, actually. I thought you were up there because we hadn’t claimed you, and you were hoping someone else would.”
A.J. winced. “No, God, no. Ryder, Lyss, I’m so sorry…”
Lyss interrupted this time. “You don’t understand, A.J. You’re not the one who needs to apologize. We’re the ones who messed up.”
Ryder nodded. “We should have talked to you about all this.” He gestured around the room, indicating the lavish play area. “We should have figured out a way to talk to you about the lifestyle. But…we were afraid. Afraid that if we crossed the line too soon, we’d scare you off. We weren’t sure if you knew you were a sub. We didn’t want to frighten you…or, worse, insult you…if you didn’t. That was our failure, A.J. Not yours. We should have been braver. We should have…”
“Done exactly what you did,” A.J. said adamantly. He met Ryder’s eyes, then Lyss’s. “I didn’t know how to bring it up, either. And I was terrified that if I made the first move, if I inserted myself into your relationship without being asked, it would be seen as trying to break you apart. I was so afraid that I would always be on the outside of your love, a spectator. I wanted to be with both of you, but I didn’t know how.
“Now, though…” He trailed off, and a smile curved his lips. “We found a way. I found a way. I can belong to you. Both of you. That’s all I’ve ever wanted, Ryder. To belong to you. To make up for the years of pain I caused you by letting my fear win. These cuffs—this lifestyle—gives us all a way to be together without fear of hurting each other. Don’t you see? This is what I wanted. What I dreamed about.”
Ryder’s mouth opened and closed, no sound coming out. Then he swallowed hard, leaned forward, and cupped A.J.’s cheek. “I dreamed this too, A.J. So did Lyss. We started talking about finding a third a while back, about finding someone to help fill the void between us. But, right from the start, I already knew who I wanted to fill that void. Even when we were playing here, hanging out with other subs and telling ourselves we were looking for a third, I always knew there was already a man who was perfect for us. I just didn’t know how to find him.”
A.J.’s heart was in his throat, but he forced himself to ask the question. “Who?”
Lyss leaned forward and cupped A.J.’s other cheek, so that both of them were cradling him. “You,” she said hoarsely. “It’s always been you, A.J.”
Ryder nodded, running his thumb along A.J.’s lower lip. “All along, I wanted you. I was waiting for you, A.J. I didn’t know it, didn’t even realize it. But, all this time we’ve been looking for a third, I was really waiting for you to come back into my life. So that you could meet Lyss, and we could both love you together. It’s you, A.J. It’s always been you.”
After that heartfelt confession, his lovers fell silent.
He gave both of them oiled massages, saying nothing more as he took care of their needs. The three of them fell into bed, A.J. happily in the middle, and curled up together. Ryder’s last act was to hook A.J.’s cuffs to the headboard, a solid reminder that he was, indeed, an owned slave. His lovers had him turn so he was lying on his stomach, his arms stretched over his head, and both of them laid their heads on his back. Using him as their pillow.
Using him as their property.
He must have slept. Now, though, he was wide awake—and so was his cock.
A big, hot hand slid down the center of A.J.’s back. He groaned, closing his eyes as Ryder took hold of his ass cheek and squeezed.
“I missed your ass, A.J.,” Ryder murmured. He squeezed again. “Lift up, so I can put this pillow under you.”
A.J. complied, balancing on knees and elbows while Ryder slid a plump white pillow under his hips. His cock was a steel bar, leaking already, now trapped between his body and the pillow beneath him. But he didn’t protest. Didn’t try to adjust himself. He spread his knees, presenting his ass for Ryder, knowing his owner was about to make good use of his slave’s body.
Ryder didn’t waste any time. He started working A.J.’s hole with lube, making him grit his teeth as little slivers of pain washed through him. He hadn’t had anything in his ass in a long time, and Ryder was huge. He was tender, but not so much that he wanted Ryder to stop. In a weird way, it felt good, knowing he was sore because his lover had already used him hard tonight. He wanted that feeling, craved it, to the point where the thought alone was enough to drive him closer to the edge of sub-space. He squeezed his eyes shut and let the bliss wash over him.
“Oh, fuck yes,” Ryder growled, scissoring two fingers inside A.J. now. A.J. shuddered, biting back a moan as Ryder shifted to his knees and knelt between A.J.’s thighs. Ryder took a strong grip on both of his ass cheeks, squeezing and separating them as he pressed the head of his cock to A.J.’s quivering ring. A.J. forced himself to relax, letting the breath out of his lungs in one long, slow whoosh as Ryder pushed into him. The pain was intense, almost drawing a cry from him, but he held on against it. Ryder, for his part, ignored any sign that his slave might not be ready for another fucking. He shoved his cock deep into A.J.’s chute, not stopping until his balls slapped A.J.’s perineum.
Saints United [For Love of Authority 3] (Siren Publishing Ménage Amour) Page 22