by Connie Cox
“Then why the quickie engagement and wedding to David?”
She had a solid answer for that one. “My father and David’s mother were trying to protect me.”
“What did David’s mother have to do with anything?”
“Don’t you remember, Cole? Mama and Mrs. Beautemps were best friends. After Mama died, Mrs. Beautemps tried to stand in for her. She took me shopping for my debutante dress, arranged for deportment classes, even included my father and me in all their family vacations and holiday plans.”
Cole shook his head and winced. “I was never privy to that part of your life. All we ever had were stolen moments after school.”
“Those stolen moments were the highlights of my life. They outweighed all the trips and parties tenfold.” She swallowed and admitted, “I was so entranced with you. You were so fascinating, so different from anyone I’d ever known.”
“Different. Too different? Is that why you did it, Isabella? You couldn’t see yourself forever tied to the bad boy of St. Michael’s Prep School?”
“No, Cole.” Isabella stopped herself. “At least, not consciously. Truthfully, a life with you was so far beyond my imagination I couldn’t wrap my mind around it. That whole time was such a roller-coaster ride.”
Even after all these years, Isabella’s stomach roiled at the memory of all the tears she had shed into her pillow. “But Mrs. Beautemps assumed the baby was David’s and immediately started making wedding plans. She said the sooner, the better to keep the talk to a minimum. Nothing reprehensible there—even the letter David’s mother sent to you must have been her way of trying to protect me.”
“Stop right there, Bella.” Cole held up an imposing hand like a traffic cop. “If she thought the child was David’s, why bother to warn me off?”
The suspicion Bella had always tried to ignore could no longer be sidestepped. Still, an old sense of loyalty had her protesting. And then there was the part of the story that belonged to David and she had no right to reveal that. “Mrs. Beautemps loved me like a daughter.”
“Loved? As in past tense, used to love?”
“Yes. During the divorce, when I told her that Adrian wasn’t David’s son, she dropped me from her life. David wanted to claim Adrian, but telling the Beautemps family was the right thing to do. The family inheritance shouldn’t go to Adrian. It’s meant to stay in the family. That’s the reason I didn’t list David’s name on the birth certificate even though he wanted me to.” Isabella still had a bruised place in her heart from the loss of her relationship with her mother-in-law. “I know the revelation caught her off guard, but how could she stop loving me, and stop loving the boy she thought was her grandchild?”
“The same way you stopped loving me.” Cole said it as if it were a stone-cold fact.
That was the problem. No matter how hard she had tried to stop feeling anything for him, Cole would always be Bella’s first love. And so far she had found no one to take his place. Seeing him now, she was fairly certain no one could take his place.
But he would be gone soon, so what she felt didn’t matter, did it?
“So you just blithely went along with the whole plan to marry another man to give my son a father.”
“Not at first.” Isabella still felt proud of herself for her initial resistance. It had been so unlike her at the time and had been the beginning of her independence. “Mrs. Beautemps put the engagement announcement in the paper before I had time to think about it. I was furious when the announcement came out and I absolutely refused to marry David.”
Cole leaned forward on the edge of his chair, as if struggling to keep himself seated. “But you did.”
Looking back, it was hard to believe how sheltered and shy she had been. Or maybe not. She’d seen plenty of people, both men and women, who had either withdrawn or gone out of control when they’d lost a parent. Her mother had been the energizing force of their family, while Isabella had been the type of person to withdraw, just like her father.
She looked at the man across from her, the man who had lost his father, mother and brother before she’d ever known him.
Cole was an extraordinary person. For the first time in all these years she sent kind, forgiving thoughts his way.
Gently, she explained, “After you wouldn’t return my calls or answer my letters, I received that one single letter from you. When I read it, I knew there was no us anymore. When I explained everything to David, he insisted that we go ahead with the wedding so he could take care of me until I could figure out my life. I felt I had no choice. I was protecting my baby.”
“But why didn’t you tell me later?”
“Why? At first, everyone assumed Adrian was David’s child and David was content to keep it that way. The thought of an heir to carry on the Beautemps name made his family happy, and he pledged to raise Adrian as his own.” And Bella had promised to keep David’s secret safe. “After the divorce, all our lives were working just fine and I saw no reason to disrupt it.”
“So, from the beginning, David just blithely went along with this whole scheme?”
“David has always been my best friend. We would do anything for each other.”
“Include sleep with each other?”
“That’s none of your business.”
She didn’t need to explain to Cole that the relationship she and David had was totally platonic. She wasn’t David’s type. And the only man she’d ever slept with was sitting across from her, glowering at her like she’d done something wrong.
No, she wouldn’t be intimidated or second-guessed. “I did what was best at the time.”
As if Cole finally realized the magnitude of all Bella had gone through, he rubbed his hand across his face. “Maybe you did, Bella. Maybe you did.” Cole let out a deep breath that seemed to come from the depths of his understanding. “I’m sorry. I should have been there for you.” He looked into her eyes. “I will take care of you from now on.”
But it was too late, too condescending, too little. He hadn’t even bothered to read the letters while she’d cried herself to sleep every night for weeks.
“Just like that?” She snapped her fingers. “Because you say it, it becomes so? Well, let me tell you something, Cole Lassiter, I’ve learned how to stand up for myself while you were away and I don’t need you anymore.”
“What about my son, Bella?”
“He doesn’t need you either.”
“What if I need him?” He rose from his chair. “What if I need you?”
His eyes, his voice, his intensity, everything about him made her quiver as energy sparked through her.
One night. He owed her that much.
She stood and took two steps forward, bringing her within inches of his touch. “Prove it.”
CHAPTER SIX
ALL those nights, all those years, of loneliness, of wanting and not having, of dreaming of Cole came crashing down to this one moment.
The details of her surroundings fell away as his hands brushed the jacket from her shoulders. She let the vintage Oleg Cassini piece drop to the floor where she stood.
She didn’t want to need Cole. She didn’t want to lust for the feel of him, the taste of him, the scent of him. But she lusted for him like she lusted for her next heartbeat. Her body screamed that if she didn’t have him, she would die on the spot.
His touch prickled every nerve ending. He was so familiar yet so changed. Against her pale skin his hands looked big and capable, the hands of a surgeon.
And his body, once promising the potential of solid muscularity, now fulfilled that promise and more.
Closing her eyes, she breathed in. Yes, his scent after all these years was still the same yet more so, intoxicating with an undernote of confidence and success.
If she could stop herself from wanting him, she would.
That deep, dark look in his eyes told her he knew what she was thinking.
“Bella, let me show you what you’ve missed all these years.”
&n
bsp; As if drawn together by forces out of her control, she obeyed, leaning toward him. She stood on tiptoe, meeting his hungry, greedy mouth with her own.
His taste was so much more than her memories had promised. Or maybe it was her, now mature enough to indulge and savor.
Using her kiss, she showed him all the frustration she’d been living with for the last fourteen years.
With a lapse of control she’d never experienced before, she ripped his shirt open, resenting anything between them, literally as well as figuratively.
Grabbing the open edges of his shirt in her fists, she held him captive. “How badly do you want me?”
He took full advantage and pulled her to him, letting her feel his own need. “More than I can say.”
“Then show me.” She ran her hands down his pants. “Take them off.”
Faster than she could react, he obliged, stripping off to bare skin.
Stunned—awed—she sucked in her breath at the magnificence of him. Her dreams of yesteryear were mere wispy shadows compared to the flesh-and-blood man before her.
“You, too.” Without waiting for her cooperation, he pulled her camisole over her head and unzipped her skirt. She stepped out of it, standing before him in bra, matching bikini panties and very high heels. She was more beautiful than he’d even dreamed about.
“The hair...” His voice broke as if he were in his teens again.
She pulled the clip and shook her head, feeling wild and sexy as the tousled mass sprang free then floated onto her shoulders and down her back.
He reached out to touch, but she backed away.
“Not yet.” She reached back to unhook her bra, fully aware her actions made her breasts peak.
“Slow down. I want to—”
“No. Next time.” She brushed his hands away then stepped out of her lace panties and kicked off her shoes.
A wave of chilly shyness brushed over her, pebbling her skin. But Cole ran his hands over her, warming her with his caress. “I’ve never touched such beauty before.”
He circled each of her nipples with his thumbs, making her catch her breath. Her own hands found his chest, echoing his motions. When he sucked in his own breath, she let her triumph emerge in her smile.
“Woman, you are such a temptress.”
“The question is, how long will you withstand temptation? Or will I need to start without you?” She lay back on the pillows and ran her hand down her own stomach before crooking her finger at him to follow her down. “Are you coming?”
“I’m very, very close.”
“How close?” She reached out for him.
He dodged, giving her a sadly sweet smile. “Wait. I have to protect you.”
“You’ve learned a thing or two.” She smiled back. “Hurry.”
“All ready.” On hands and knees, he held himself over her, teasing her. “Forgive me for taking this long?”
She stared up into his eyes, taking in the deeper meaning behind his answer.
“You’re forgiven,” she said, surprising herself when she answered his flippant question with heartfelt depth. This was the beginning of forgiving him for so much more.
Immediately, her desire for him went up several notches, higher than she’d thought possible.
The light cast by the bedside lamp made the muscles of his abdomen stand out in bas-relief. She ran her fingertip along the center line, all the way down, looking up at him in victory when he visibly caught his breath.
Total joy welled up inside her at her power. “You’ve convinced me. You want me.”
His voice was rough and husky when he said, “I’ve never needed you more deeply.”
This is so much more than sex. Bella pushed the candid thought away as she pulled Cole down to her and wrapped her legs around his hips. Time for reflection later.
Gone was the tenderness of their youth. Gone was the exploration. Here was raw emotion. Years and years of it.
Years of invisible injury seeking a cure, years of emptiness seeking to be filled.
She thrust and he met her, equals in every way. She reveled in the power between them.
They came together, over and over and over, each seeking release that only the other could give.
Until at last they lay spent. Bella draped herself across his sweating form as both their chests heaved, dragging in air as if they’d been denied it for way too long.
* * *
Cole watched Bella sleep, her eyes in REM. Was she dreaming of him?
He had been such a fool. Pride had kept him away from this fascinating woman and the child she’d borne him. The arrogant stupidity of youth.
An arcing pain raced from his neck through his shoulder. His left hand felt thick and numb.
He shifted, regretting that he had to disturb Bella to ease his pain.
No matter how hard to tried to rationalize it, he had a really bad feeling about the possible diagnosis.
Every time Cole had a shooting pain he remembered the night he’d been pinned under the rigging of his family’s capsized shrimping boat, straining to hear signs of life from his mother, father or brother.
Could it be that his old injury, the one that had healed so quickly in his youthful past, now had consequences that would affect his future? His profession defined him. Without surgery, who was he? Just a kid from the wrong side of town, looking for the meaning of existence.
The mental pain outweighed the physical pain ten times over. But ignoring the problem wasn’t making it go away. He had put off a diagnosis for too long, hoping it would get better on its own—but neither wishing nor hoping was working.
Bella opened her eyes and looked into his face. “I hope that scowl isn’t for me.”
“No. Only kisses for you.” He brushed his lips against the worried furrows of her forehead.
Then the silence between them stretched into awkwardness, underscoring how far apart they had drifted despite their present physical closeness.
Bella pulled the sheets up to her neck. “I know this sounds odd after what we’ve just done.”
“You mean after wild, passionate lovemaking?”
“And a round of True Confessions.” She gave him a lopsided smile. “But I feel rather shy about being completely naked in front of you. Would you mind closing your eyes while I snatch my clothes and duck into the bathroom?”
“Anything for you.”
She sat up and looked across the hotel suite and his gaze followed hers. “What a mess I’ve made.”
He’d never seen a room as sexy as this one, with her clothes scattered in reckless abandon. “I like it.”
“I need to borrow your brush. My hair is a mess.” She put her hand to her mussed hair then to her cheek. “And my makeup—surely Adrian will be asleep when I get home. But David will notice. How wrinkled is my jacket?”
Cole followed her on her frantic flight, catching her in front of the bathroom mirror. He saved her from herself and stopped her nervous babbling with his mouth on hers. When he let her come up for air, he looked down at her swollen lips, her dazed eyes, her mussed hair. He’d never seen a woman more beautiful. Seeing the image of the two of them together made him want to hold her for ever.
“Don’t go.” He hadn’t realized he’d said it out loud until he heard his own voice. He’d never spent the entire night with a woman. Usually, he insisted on going out for a midnight snack, and then escorted them back to their own rooms. To the more determined ones, he just said no.
But Bella was different.
“Stay.” He gave her his most charming smile. “Please?”
He watched the indecision play across her eyes. Finally, she blinked and looked at him. “Okay.”
As if he’d been holding his breath for the last decade and a half, he exhaled.
“Thank you.” He brushed an errant strand of hair from her cheek. In the filtered light the smudges under her eyes showed the weariness her life must bring her.
Holding her hand as if she would bolt, he le
d her back to bed. “I want you but you need sleep.”
“And you don’t?” She asked the rhetorical question. She could always read him. “You look like you’re carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders.”
Her words made him feel exposed. “Let me get the bathroom light.”
He slipped from the covers to turn off the light.
While he was up, he heard her reach for the phone.
“How’s our boy?” She must be calling David.
Cole winced at all the years David had claimed his son. Despite his lassitude, anger at himself flared to life, quickly followed by guilt. Because of pride, because of rage, he had missed so much. Grudgingly, he couldn’t help but be grateful Adrian had someone to care for him. And there was no going back in time, no fixing past regrets.
“If you can watch him through the night, I want to stay.”
What would David say to that? Cole couldn’t imagine his answer. But whatever it was, it must have been positive, because Bella answered with, “Thank you, and I will.”
He hovered his hand over his prescription pain medication and chose aspirin instead. He didn’t want to be fuzzy-headed in the morning, when he would awaken to see Bella in first light.
When he heard the phone clatter on the bedside table, Cole made his appearance.
He climbed into bed, enjoying Bella’s sweet, cold toes raking down his leg. He had once promised always to keep her feet warm. He would finally get to fulfill that promise.
At least for tonight. Always seemed like a long way away.
She placed a featherlight kiss on the juncture between his neck and shoulder where he hurt the worst. Did she know?
“I’m sorry, Bella. I should have—”
“Shh.” She put her finger against his lips. “If we had stayed together then, where would we be now? Would I still be that clinging girl afraid to carve out my own place in the world, resenting you because of it? Would you have even finished school? I know you think so, but you had such pride. You couldn’t have afforded a wife, a special-needs baby and medical school on a part-time job. Admit it, Cole. Leaving me felt like leaving an anchor behind, didn’t it?”