by Mychea
“Damir,” I correct her.
“Damir,” she continues. “I do not know you, and I have two children to attend to.”
“The invitation stands, but if I have offered any offense please except my humblest apologies,” I say staring straight into illuminated hazel eyes. “Now back to the business of my birthday. I would like Exclusively Divine Events to work out all the details. Just consult me on things like the menu and music. The theme will be 70s style, and from there you can do whatever you like.”
“Ok, Mr.Coll---“
I interrupt her “Damir.”
“Okay, Damir. First, you offered no offense. Second, all I need for you to do is complete a questionnaire for us and return it to our receptionist Camille out front, and in a couple of days I will give you a call to come in and sign your contract.”
“Sounds good,” I say as I rise out of my chair and offer my hand for her to shake. She reaches to grab it, and I clutch hers a little longer than necessary as I stare into her eyes. “Just in case no one told you today, you are an absolutely remarkable woman. I don’t know what caused the tears I saw earlier, but I know that a beautiful woman like you does not deserve whatever it was. So my offer for the party stands and if you ever need someone to talk to, I am only a phone call away,” I say as I reach into my case and give her my business card. “Damir will await your call.”
“Damir,” she says softly. “That is such a unique name. What does it mean?”
“It means to give peace. Until we meet again Ms. Vaughn.” With that said, I turn and leave.
Naima 5
To give peace. What a wonderful meaning for a name. I really like that. Lord knows I need peace and safety in my life right now. Damir is one sexy man. He stands about 6’2. He has a nice brown complexion with deep chestnut-brown eyes, and a smile that can make even the bleakest corner shine. Something about him being in the same room with me made me feel so safe, he was the remarkable one.
I just do not know what to do, I think as I turn my thoughts to the events of the day. I could kill that bitch, is the only thing running through my mind. I cannot believe Haven had the nerve to come in here and set my life on fire. My best friend, my ace boon coon - or so I thought.
My husband and my best friend have a child together, my godson Kaven. What do I tell my kids? I mean what is going on in my life? Did I do something to someone in a past life? Why am I going through so much? How much is one body supposed to take?
An old saying my mom used to quote faithfully comes to mind, God will never give you more than you can bear. I keep saying that to myself but when your heart has been squeezed so tightly, and you are gasping for breath, what do you do?
I want to scream! Kaden is such a liar. I gave him an opportunity to come clean. He could have told me, I would have been able to handle it. He could at least have prepared me so that vindictive, jealous bitch would not have been able to catch me off guard.
I should have known better, and deep down I did. I knew better, once a cheater, always a cheater, an age-old song. I think deep down I did know Kaven was Kaden’s son. I knew. They share so many of the same qualities how could I not. But I wanted to stay oblivious, and be in denial ‘til I had proof. I wanted to believe that my best friend and my husband really would not have an affair. I thought they would both respect the relationships that they each had with me. Guess I was wrong. I always try to keep relationships that do not need to be kept. That’s me. Always trying to hold on, and get crushed in the process.
What do I tell my kids? I think again. I sit down in my chair and swivel to stare out the window. My life is spiraling out of control. First things first, I buzz Camille on the intercom.
“Camille.”
“Yes Mrs. Fairchild.”
“I need the number of a good lawyer. Can you handle that for me please and get my mother on the phone?”
“Certainly, Mrs. Fairchild.”
“Camille, please call me by my maiden name Vaughn. Thank you.” I disconnect from the intercom.
I continue to stare out the window and my thoughts drift towards Damir. The meaning of his name is so fitting. His spirit reached out and touched mine. Maybe that is why I can’t seem to get him off of my mind.
The intercom buzzes, “Your mother is on line one Ms. Vaughn and your husband is on line two.”
“Camille please inform my husband that I will see him at home and send my mother’s call through please.”
“Right away Ms. Vaughn.”
My phone rings.
I pick up, “Hi, Mommy,” I say.
“Hi pumpkin. What is the matter? You only call me Mommy when something is wrong.”
Immediately I feel the tears spring to my eyes. Moms are so wise. I thank God for mine everyday.
“Oh Mommy, my life is a mess.” I feel like I did all those years ago when Kaden and I told her and my dad that we were expecting a baby.
“Remember what I taught you Naima. No matter how bad life feels at any given moment, it can always be worse.”
Lord, if my life gets any worse I think I might jump off a bridge. I pause before I respond, and decide to tell her outright.
“Kaden and I are getting a divorce.” I stop and wait for her response. There is none.
“Did you hear me?” I ask her.
“Well I can’t say that I’m not glad,” she finally says. “I always felt that you could do better Naima. I never thought he was good enough for you.”
“Mommy what?” I say as I continue to look out the window and gaze at the horizon. “Why didn’t you tell me that a long time ago? Why did you feel compelled to let me marry him and forge a family?”
“Naima Ari! When was I supposed to say he was not the one for you huh? When you two popped into my living room for the first time and announced you were pregnant? Or perhaps after you eloped and your father and I weren’t allowed to attend, or much less even know about? Or maybe when you were pregnant with your second child? When really did you expect me to tell you? You were so headstrong; you would have done what you wanted to do either way. So do not sit on the other side of this phone and act as if I had a chance. My job is to be your mother, not to lie to you. If you are looking for a liar, you need to go elsewhere.”
I never knew my mom felt that way. She really kept her opinion bottled up all these years, and in all fairness to her, I had never asked. Guess I should have.
“You know what mom? You are absolutely right, I was headstrong and I want to apologize for never asking you for your opinion, not even once, to see how you felt about my whole situation.”
“It’s okay baby. I am your mother I would never judge you. Now do you want to tell me what happened? Maybe I can offer some advice.”
The tears threaten once more.
“Oh mommy it’s so bad,” I begin babbling to her. “Kaven is Haven and Kaden’s love child from college and they have been secretly having an affair all these years. How could I have been so stupid? I see the way she looks at him. I should have known better Mommy. I should have known.” I am sobbing loudly now.
“Haven, huh? I always knew that girl was sneaky. She was always jealous of you, I could tell.” I sob even louder. “Now, now sweet pea. Don’t you worry your pretty little head none. Everything will be fine. You and the children are more than welcome to stay with your dad and me until this whole mess gets straightened out. Now hush that fuss. Never cry for a man that has done you wrong. You cry for men who risk their lives to save and protect you and your family, who spend every waking minute trying his best to make you happy. And here is a little secret, the man that does all that for you will not make you cry. Remember that. Any other man is not worth the tears honey. So silence that noise and let’s start trying to get your life back in order.”
I silence my crying to little sniffles. My mother is right. Why am I crying over Kaden? Just one week ago, he was fucking Haven’s brains out her head. Bet he was not crying over me then - neither one of their dirty asses.
That is exactly why I slapped the shit out that nasty ho. Friend my ass. She looked so surprised. Guess she did not think I had it in me. That is why she walked out of here with her lip bleeding. How I wish I could have captured that moment on camera.
“Mom, you have been a huge help, and the kids and I will be coming over tonight and probably staying for awhile. I have to go now. I will talk to you when I see you tonight. Love you.”
“Love you too pumpkin. See you tonight. Everything will be okay. Peace always reigns and joy will come in the morning, you wait and see,” she says and hangs up.
I pack up my things. I am leaving early today. I have to get out of here. As I am walking out, I pass Camille.
“Hey Miss. I am leaving for the day. Did you get that number for me?”
“Yes ma’am,” she says as she hands me a folded piece of paper with the number for the lawyer.
“Thanks Camille. I will see you tomorrow. Have a nice evening. Oh, and before I forget, be sure and make a follow-up call with Mr. Collins about his event. Thanks.”
“Sure thing Ms. Vaughn. Enjoy your evening.”
“I sure will, honey. I sure will.”
I head home to pack up some clothes for my two babies and myself.
I pull into my driveway and I see Kaden’s car. Lord have mercy! That man is always here. You know what? He is no longer my problem, I could care less. Since Haven wants him so badly, let her deal with his bullshit.
As soon as I step through the door, Kaden comes up behind me, wraps me in a bear hug and places a kiss on my neck.
“I’m so glad you decided to come home early. I missed you all day today.”
“I’m sure,” I say as I step out of his embrace. “Well while you were missing me, were you aware that I had a visit from Haven today?” His face instantly falls, and he is looking dumbfounded.
“Really?” he says hesitantly. “What did she come to visit with you about today, of all days? Doesn’t she have a job?” He tries to give a half laugh but I can tell his heart is not in it. This means he fears the worse, which only confirms what Haven had already told me.
“You know, actually, she had a lot to visit about; like how she’s been fucking my husband for the last eight years and how my godson is really my stepson.” I shrug my shoulders. “You know nothing out of the ordinary.”
“Mocha, let me explain.”
“You know what Kaden? Keep your explanations for someone who gives a damn. I have had enough of your excuses and your promises and your bullshit. I have just had enough. No more I am done. I am calling a lawyer tomorrow. I will have the papers delivered to you. I want nothing to do with you. Maybe you should call Haven. You can help her put her face back together if you like.”
With that said, I walk upstairs to begin packing the kids and my belongings for the stay at my parents.
“Mother, why are we staying here at Grandma’s? You packed enough clothes to last us a lifetime.” Namiyah says to me.
This child of mine is always taking things to the extreme. I do, think however, it best that I tell her the truth. Children respond a lot better when they know what is going on, versus when adults try to beat around the bush.
“Well honey, your dad and I are getting a divorce. That means we will no longer be married, and we will live in separate households”
“How will we be a family if we’re in separate households mommy?”
Shit, leave it to children to ask all these questions. I do not know what to say to this child. My parents never got divorced, so this is new for me too. How do you help your baby cope?
“Well that is something that we are going to have to learn how to do, and we’ll do it together one day at a time,” I reassure her.
“What happened mommy? You don’t love daddy anymore?”
Tears spring to my eyes. I wish I did not love her daddy anymore; that is why this hurts so badly. Too many years of pain and anger, and I really cannot think of anything good to say about this man.
“Oh no sweetie, I will always love your daddy for giving me the best children that a Mommy could ever ask for, but sometimes people grow apart, and relationships don’t work out. That is what is going on with your dad and me. We have grown apart but we will always unite to take care of our babies. Always.” I tell her as I pull her into a mommy’s-baby hug. The ones that only mommy can give. Seemingly satisfied with my answer, for the time being, Namiyah went off to play with Kalani. She was actually tolerating him today, which bless her heart, was enough to give me peace of mind.
Damir 6
As I am on my way to pick up Amber, I cannot seem to stop thinking of Naima. Call it what you want, but what can I say? The woman has me enthralled. I wonder if she is going to use the business card that I gave her. I do not care that she has two children. I will take on the responsibility if it means I get to look into her hazel eyes forever.
Forever My Lady by Jodeci began to play on the radio. See, even God was in sync with my thoughts. He must have felt me on this one. He had to have created Naima just for me. I was not accepting any other possible alternative.
I still have about five minutes before I reach Amber’s house, so I turn the radio up and decide to sing at the top of my lungs. I reach her driveway just as the song is ending.
I did not get a chance to cut the car off and walk to the front door because Amber was already making her way outside to my black Denali.
The best way to describe Amber is a sexy, voluptuous combinations of have mercy, wrapped up in good god. I do not know if I can ever describe the type of sex appeal, she exudes. She is a glorious Amazon standing 5’10, with skin the color of Hershey’s syrup, and the smoothness to go with it. Her hair is a wild, array of curls like Scary Spice of the Spice Girls. I love the way that it frames her face and captures the essence of her features. And oh my God, the body on this woman is nothing short of amazing.
I guess you figure with all that going for her why will I not commit. While she and I may not lack in sexual chemistry, there is something missing in our emotional and spiritual connection…. we do not have one, plain and simple. I am approaching my 30th birthday, and my preference in women is changing. I am now looking for a deeper meaning with this whole relationship thing, something worthwhile and meaningful. I am ready to have children and get my legacy started while Amber is content with it just being the two of us, and does not want to have any children.
The door opens, and immediately my car is consumed by the smell of Chanel No.5 perfume. Amber loves Chanel No.5. I have bought her numerous bottles since we have begun dating.
“Hi handsome,” she says as she enters the Denali and places a kiss on my cheek.
“Hi yourself.” I say to her, “You are looking mighty good this evening.” And she really did look good. Amber had on an ivory and grey Vera Wang dress, straight from the runway, that clutched each of her dramatically-emphasized curves, and flowed like the wind. I see that she was going to make it very difficult to say goodbye to her, but no matter how good she looks, it has to happen.
“Why thank you Mr. Collins! I always aim to please,” she says in a soft, sultry voice.
“That you do rather well Miss; rather well indeed.”
“So where are you taking me tonight? You’ve been so secretive lately.”
“I thought that we would have a night cap by the Washington Harbor at Sequoia.”
“Mmmm…. That sounds wonderful, being on the waterfront with you, listening to jazz. I cannot wait”
I glance at her and, once again, my thoughts drift to Naima. I wonder what she is doing right now and if she is feeling better. She is probably running around chasing after her two children. That’s a problem I would love to have one day.
As we are pulling into the parking garage, I try to think of what approach I am going to take during dinner to deliver the news to Amber that our courtship has ended. Amber, by no means, is a pushover, and the news I am about to give her will be a devastating blow - To both her ego,
and any future illusions, she may have been harboring about the two of us.
We walk into Sequoia and the host proceeds to take us to a corner outside on the balcony, which I requested when I placed the reservation, so that we would be able to have more privacy.
“Damir, it is so nice out here. Look at the water and the lights.”
“I take it you love the spot I chose.”
“Oh I love it. I love you,” she says breathlessly.
Thank goodness, the waiter chose that moment to appear. I may be many things, but a liar I am not, and her professing her love for me made me uncomfortable.
We placed our orders; since we frequent Sequoia often, we already knew what we wanted. As soon as the waiter left, Amber was posed and ready to start firing the questions away.
“I said I love you. Why didn’t you say it back?”
“Because the waiter came over and interrupted us.”
“Oh.” a beat passes, “Well the waiter is not here now.” She raises her eyebrow expectedly waiting for my response.
“Actually Amber, that’s what I wanted to talk to you about tonight.”
“You wanted to talk about how much you love me?” she says as she gives a slight smile.
I clear my throat and swallow audibly under her piercing gaze.
“I’ve been thinking that you and I aren’t really all that compatible and maybe we have reached a stalemate. Instead of fighting to bring something into existence, that is not meant to be, maybe we should let it go.”
Whoever said that breaking up is hard to do, was grossly understated. I could see the hurt beginning to display on her face and damn if I did not want to hold her and take the pain away, but I stood my ground. Reality is reality; the relationship was not working for me.
She looked me right in my eyes and I could see the tears forming and preparing to fall. Then she spoke so softly I almost could not hear her.
“Why?” she asked me.
I do not know what to say, or even where to begin.