by Mychea
“I actually had it designed to remind me of my sister. The Alanna represents who she was. The interior decorator I chose really captured her personality and her spirit. It’s almost as if I can feel her presence whenever I am on here.” I slowly raise my eyes to her. “Does that seem weird to you?” I ask.
“Not at all. I find it rather endearing.” She comes over and takes my hand again, “I’m already having a great time so it’s okay if you need some time to yourself to get your thoughts together.”
I feel my heart slam into my rib cage. What is it about this woman that makes me feel like, she’s Jane and I’m Tarzan. Without thinking, I sit on the edge of the chair and gently guide her to stand in between my legs and I pull her into me for a kiss and whisper, “I’ve wanted to do this since I laid eyes on you.”
“And I’ve wanted you to, I just didn’t know how badly,” she whispers back as our breath intertwines in the air and I have the opportunity to experience what forbidden fruit tastes like.
It got so good to me that I did not want to break away from her touch. Her hands began to run up my spine and I was slowly caressing the small of her back. Damn she felt good I could lay her down right here and…I pull back immediately.
She gazes up at me slowly and whispers, “What’s wrong?”
I look at her passion-filled face and stand up before I decide to take her right there. Things are escalating a lot faster than I had intended for them to, and I don’t want her to think sex is all that I want from her.
“Woman,” I replied with my chest heaving. I am out of breath. “I am not a saint, and if I don’t stop what we are doing you might have to bite off more than you can chew.”
She gave me a look like she wanted to take a bite and it definitely would not be more than she could chew. Naima seems like a woman that can hold her own. I respect that.
“Well, uh, do you want to have a drink, or would you rather talk?” I ask her as I pour a shot of vodka for myself from the bar.
“Nothing for me, thanks. I think I’d rather talk.”
“Well what would you like to talk about? Our flight won’t be landing for about another half hour, so we have plenty of time.”
“I don’t know. How about we start with you. Who is Damir, and what does he represent?”
“Well I can be your greatest ally, or your worst adversary. It depends on how you look at it. I am a businessperson. I love what I do. I meet interesting people everyday, and my job takes me all over the world. I love it.”
“While that’s fine and all, but I meant who are you? Not your job. A job should not define the man. The man should define the job. I have already dealt with a man who let his job define who he was. I am not asking for a man that lets his job define him, but for a man that defines himself.”
The woman has rendered me speechless once again. I am really going to have to stop letting her catch me off guard like this. Most women that I have dealt with in the past would have been satisfied with knowing that I was a man capable of handling my business. All they really wanted to know was how much money was in my bank account, and if I was generous enough to lavish them with any of it. That was usually all it took. I should have known that Naima would be different though. Everything about her screamed that she had been privy to a privileged life. I wonder where her world fell apart, and how she’d come to be living with her parents.
I glanced over at her and she raised an eyebrow.
“What’s the matter handsome? Cat got your tongue?”
“Not at all. You have rendered me speechless yet again. I do not know what it is about you, but I definitely need to keep on my P’s and Q’s. I am not used to a woman being so straightforward and to the point. Just going to take some getting used to is all.”
“In response to your question, I believe that my life experiences have shaped who I am. My childhood, I guess, was a normal one. I mean there were five of us, so you can imagine there was always something going on. If one of us did not get to it, another one did. My parents got it all. Alanna was the one though. I think because she was the baby, she knew that she could win people over with her pretty smile and gorgeous dimples. And to be honest, usually she did.”
I look over at Naima and she is curled in a chair staring at me intently. She seems genuinely interested, so I continue with my story.
“Alanna was eight years younger than me, and I loved her so much. Still do.” I feel my eyes begin to tear up. “But she was headstrong. You could never tell that girl anything. One of the things that I always admired about her was her free spirit. She never let anything bother her, and was always direct and to the point. I spoke to her the day she was killed. I do not know what was bothering her, but it was definitely something because there was urgency in her tone that I had never heard from her before. She told me that she was tired of the life that she was living and was ready to start anew. I think she wanted to come live with me. But we never made it that far in the conversation. She said she had to go and that was that. The last thing that I told her was that I loved her and hoped to see her soon. Well I did see her - a lot, sooner than I expected. I just never believed that it would be when she was in a coffin. I blame myself. I was not there when she needed me. I was always her protector. I told her I would always look out for her and I did not keep my word. I let her down.” I look down at the floor, the pressure behind my eyes mounting.
Naima rises and comes over to where I stand. I cannot control the falling tears.
“Damir,” she says as she comes up behind me, and wraps her arms around me and lays her head on my back. “I am so sorry that you are suffering from the loss of your sister. I know that Alanna was a lovely person, and I know that because you introduced me to her today and I can feel her presence all around us.”
I turn in her embrace and lay my head on top of hers.
“Thanks for being here and allowing me this release. I did not realize how badly I needed to hear the words out loud. I’ve been cooping that up inside me for so long, and this is the first time that I ever told another person how I really felt about the situation.”
“Release is a good thing. It is a sign that you are healing,” she says.
At that moment, the pilot came on the speaker.
“Mr. Collins we are preparing to land. Please return to your seats and put your seatbelts on.”
Kaden 10
I look over at the table and stare at the separation papers that Naima had delivered two days ago. I have yet to actually sit and go over them. I feel as if I am in a trance with no way of coming out. Naima has been gone for six weeks now. SIX! When she left, I thought it was something that would blow over, but I could not have been more wrong. She really was not playing this time and all I have to do is look at the separation papers to prove it.
Not only does she want a divorce, she called to tell me that she wants full custody of our children, as if I would fight her. Does she really expect me to dedicate my time to take care of them? I am trying to work through my own issues. Plus, I have Kaven so all is not lost. The kids were mostly for her anyway. All I ever wanted was Naima. She is beautiful inside and out, and I know I lost her because of my own stupidity.
What is a man to do in a world where women outnumber men 10 to one, and there obviously is not enough time to get with them all? I guess I am living proof of what happens when you have the most amazing woman and you do not know how to treat her. There will never be another Naima; no one will ever get even close.
There is an aura about her, that just by being around her makes you feel like a better person. I messed up bad. There will never be another Mrs. Fairchild. She will remain the only one privileged enough to carry my name. I do not know what I am going to do without her. These last six weeks have been hell.
I get depressed every morning when I wake up and she is not here. The house feels so large and empty without her in it. I never realized how much hearing her voice, seeing her smile and watching her bustle around everywhere, meant t
o me until she left.
Now, in this house, you can hear a pin drop. The silence is killing me. I am meeting with a realtor today. I need to move. Living here is not going to work. Everywhere I turn, I see representation of my former life, and who I used to be. I have to get outta here I think to myself as I head to my yellow Lamborghini custom-made for yours truly. I love my car. Next to Naima, she will always be the sexist female I roll with.
I am on my way to meet with my realtor to downsize, thinking about moving to the city. I love the atmosphere that Washington, D.C. offers.
My appointment is in about 20 minutes, so I decide to stop at the local, historic Ben’s Chili Bowl. I love this place. No chilidogs like the ones they have here.
As I get out of my car and proceed to walk in, I am stopped by who I assume to be a fan. Turns out, he is the best thing that has happened to me in the last six weeks.
“Are you Kaden Fairchild the NFL player?” asks the stranger.
“That would be me the one and only, and you are?” I say while extending my hand to him.
“I’m Damir Collins,” he says as he returns my handshake. “Man, I used to love to watch you play. I heard about your accident a while back.”
“Yeah, it was pretty bad. I broke my back and shattered my knee, so there went my career.” I tell him.
“Oh, sorry to hear that. I know how a sudden career change can be devastating. I happen to be a recruiting agent for ESPN. We are currently searching for commentators in the Washington Metropolitan area. So if time permits, why don’t you give me a call at the office sometime?” He offers as he gives me his business card. “And if you’re interested we can give you some screen tests to see how you do on camera and to see if you have what it takes.”
I take his card and cannot believe my good fortune. Finally, a brother is receiving some good news.
“Thanks man. I will be sure to give you a call soon.”
I am ecstatic. I may have a job in the field that I love so much. I am about to relocate downtown and get rid of that big house in Potomac, MD. My life is definitely looking up. I think I just may go to church on Sunday. I go get my chilidog.
As I am, leaving Ben’s Chili Bowl, and making my way back to the car, my cell phone vibrates and Haven’s number pops on the screen.
Would this woman ever leave me alone? I mean DAMN! I debate whether to answer, then finally give in. You never know, something might be wrong with Kaven.
“Yeah?” I say as I pick up.
“What do you mean yeah? Is that how you’re answering my calls these days?”
“Haven I don’t have time for the games. What do you want? I’m busy.”
“Too busy for me baby?” she croons.
I pull the phone away from my ear and stare at it. This chick is crazy.
“Yeah, pretty much. Unless this has something to do with Kaven, I have to go.”
“WAIT! Don’t hang up…uh…I was wondering if you would like company tonight?”
“Bitch please! Have you completely lost your damn mind? I want nothing to do with you. My hand will give me better company than anything you can offer. Do you understand? Anything that we had going is over and done. You are psycho! You cost me Naima. You are lucky I let you breathe. Now stay the hell away from me,” I say and hang up my cell.
Women never cease to amaze me, always thinking that they are God’s gift to men. They think that the world revolved around their asses. Haven has some nerve, crazy bitch. Something tells me she is going to be a problem. Maybe it is time I give some serious thought to this situation. It may be time to handle Haven once and for all.
Mr. Fairchild I believe that you will love the Northwestern side of the District. It has everything that you are asking for - serenity, peace of mind, and quiet. This is the rural part of DC. Many come and are skeptical at first, but soon learn that it is a place to be cherished.
My realtor must have been reading my mind when he made that comment before he proceeded to show me around. Now that I am looking at the area, it looks quaint enough, but I am thinking about tourist season and millions of people…more along those lines. However, there was a sense of serenity about the area as he mentioned.
Then he turns onto Maryland Avenue, with me following in my Lamborghini, and there is my house sitting up on the hill. I mean there is nothing spectacular about the house. It is a townhouse and is plain in appearance but it has my name written all over it.
I pull out my cell and called my realtor.
“I want that house right there, the one at the top of the hill.”
My realtor points out the ‘SOLD’ sign in the front of the house.
“I want that house,” I tell him again. “Make it happen.”
“You haven’t even seen the inside of the house or how much it costs or –.”
I cut him off mid sentence.
“Listen, that’s the house I want end of discussion. I am not worried about cost. Just see to it that I am moving in as soon as possible. Whatever it takes, I don’t give a damn just get me into the house.”
With that said, I disconnect from the call. I do not have time for discussion.
I have to run past Naima’s parent’s house this evening so I can see Namiyah and Kalani. Naima is allowing me one visit a week - that just became effective today. This is mainly a courtesy of Naima, since she sent the divorce papers and a request for full custody of our children. To tell the truth, I just want to see her. I have not seen her in six weeks. I am anxious to see if just maybe I can talk her into going to dinner with me tonight. You never know, stranger things have happened.
I arrive at my soon to be ex-in-laws home, to see the kids playing in the yard. Namiyah is flying around the house in her rollerblades and Kalani is following behind her on his big wheel. I smile in spite of myself. They really are some gorgeous kids. I might not want to take care of them, but that does not mean that I do not love them. There is no denying that Naima and I have some great genes.
“Daddy!” Namiyah screams as I get out of the car, and rolls over to me. I lean down and pick her up as she promptly gives me a kiss on the cheek. “Where have you been? We’ve only been at Granny and Granddad’s forever,” she asks me.
“Your dad has been trying to get over here its just a lot has been on my plate,” I tell her as I put her back down.
“Oh,” she huffs and rolls away.
I feel a thump at my ankle and look down. Kalani has bumped into me with his big wheel.
“How’s my big man?” I ask him as I bend down, scoop him up, and proceed to the front door.
“I no big man, I Kalani,” he informs me.
I chuckle softly, “You’re Kalani and my big man. You can be both,” I tell him. Then he lays his head on my shoulder and sighs. I feel a slight twinge of regret. I do miss times like this. I did not get too many moments like this with Namiyah. I was always at a game or on a road trip or partying. I never had any time to sit back and let my baby girl rest her head on my shoulder. I bet Naima has all type of memories like this. I missed everything with all three of my kids. I missed first words, first teeth, first crawls, first steps, and Namiyah and Kaven’s first days of school. Maybe this time around, I will get to see Kalani off to school.
I enter into the house. “Hey, anybody home?” I shout.
“Boy, don’t you come in this house keeping all of that noise,” says Mrs. Cynthia, Naima’s mother, as she comes from around the corner.
“I’m sorry Mrs. Cynthia. I didn’t see Naima’s car outside, and didn’t hear anyone in here.”
“That still ain’t no reason to go around shouting in people’s houses,” she chastised wearily. “Naima stepped out for a little while, and she should be back shortly.”
Namiyah walked in at that moment.
“Mommy went on a date. She looked real pretty when she left too. She let me help her get dressed and let me put on some of her lipstick. It was fun.”
“Namiyah hush your face and go wash up for dinner.
”
“Aww…but Granny I wasn’t finished skating. I just came in to use the bathroom.”
“I understand you want to play baby, and I promise tomorrow you can go back out when you get home from school, okay? Right now it is time for dinner, so go wash your face and hands.”
“Okay,” she says as she crosses her arms and sticks out her bottom lip, while heading for the steps.
“Naima went on a date?” I turn and ask Mrs. Cynthia as she comes to take a sleeping Kalani out of my arms.
“As a matter of fact-,” Mrs. Cynthia started, when the front door opened.
“Hey mom! I’m back.” Naima says. Her voice sends tingles down my spine. I have not seen her in six weeks. It feels like forever. She has yet to see me around the other side of the foyer wall. “I had the best time with Da-.” She stops.
“Naima look who’s here,” Mrs. Cynthia interrupts, as she turns to take Kalani up the stairs. Damn. I wanted to hear who she went out with.
“Who? Is it Kaden?” she asks while she proceeds to walk through the foyer. “I thought I saw his car outside. I know he was supposed to come by and see the kids this evening.”
She comes around the corner looking like a movie star. She was in the wrong industry. She needs to be on someone’s big screen or on billboards. I am so stupid. How could I have lost this woman? She stops when she sees me. I cannot see her eyes beneath her shades, but it looks as if she had to catch her breath.
“Hello Kaden, how have you been?” she asks as she kicks off her shoes, pushes her shades on top of her head, sits on the couch in the living room.
“I’ve been doing okay. How about you? How have you been the last couple of weeks?” I ask as I follow her into the living room. I feel like a dog in heat or something. I want to be close to Naima so bad. I want to feel her and run my fingers through her long silky hair.
“Happy,” is her response.
“So what does that mean? I didn’t make you happy?”
“Kaden let’s not get into it, okay? I’m tired and I don’t want to be bothered with this right now.”