by Mychea
Her eyes began to water, “Baby why are you being so mean to me? I thought that you would be happy to see me.”
I slowly run my hand down my face. Had all the women on the planet lost their minds today? Damn. I was becoming immune to tears. Women used them to get their way. She had the wrong man on the wrong day.
“I’m confused,” I tell her. “I thought we had this discussion months ago about seeing other people. I thought we were only to have contact when it came to the baby. Was I the only one present for that conversation?”
She was looking for a way to get inside my house. I could tell before she even opened her mouth.
“No, I heard you loud and clear. It is just that I am not feeling that great today. This baby seems to think that I am not supposed to eat, sleep or walk. My ankles are beginning to swell. I just need a massage and some comfort. I feel so alone.”
“And yet you felt well enough to drive yourself clear across town to my house so that I could play nurse to you?” I ask looking at her skeptically. “Amber you should have called first. I have plans this evening. I really cannot play nurse to you right now. I do want you to be safe, so please go straight home and call me when you get there.”
No sooner had the words come out of my mouth, does Naima’s car pull up. I look to the sky, trying to ask God for moral support, but He must have been on break, because I was left to sort out this mess alone.
Amber could barely wait for Naima to get out of the car before she pounces on her like a cat after a mouse.
“So, is she the plans for this evening, the reason that you can’t take care of the woman pregnant with your child?”
That stops Naima in her tracks and she turns to head back to her car.
I take off running down my steps to get to her. I could only shake my head. Damn, damn, damn. I imagine what must be going through her head.
I caught her by the waist and turn her to face me.
“It’s not what you think.” Before she could say a word, I go into a full-blown explanation. “I have not slept with Amber since before I met you. I found out after you and I started dating that she was pregnant. I was going to break the news to you tonight.” I look into her frosty pain-filled eyes. “Please Baby, believe me. I never want to hurt you, ever. I love you.” I could see the surprise in her face. I have never said that to her before. “I’m trying to be as honest as I can be. I cannot deny that Amber is pregnant and will be a part of my life. It is what it is. I don’t want to lose you, but I must take care of my responsibility.” I saw it then. Her eyes were softening. She believed me; we could survive this.
“Damir, the baby is not a problem. I have two children of my own. Who am I to judge? But why didn’t you feel you could tell me?”
“I didn’t want to ruin anything. I know you had issues with your soon-to-be ex-husband and I wanted to be everything to you that he couldn’t be.”
“Baby, you already do that by being who you are. Above all though, I have to be able to trust you. This is a life-altering situation. You have to be able to talk about these kinds of things.” She reaches up and caresses the side of my face with her hand.
“Excuse me!” Amber yells.
Damn, I forgot that she was there. I turn to face her, and so did Naima. I do not know if I am supposed to introduce them or what. Amber was already in one of her moods. Naima surprised me by brushing past me and approaching Amber first.
“Hi, I’m Naima,” she says with a smile and sticking out her hand for Amber to shake.
Amber looks at her through narrow eyes. She passed Naima her to get to me.
“I cannot believe that you are already dating someone else. And then of all people, her.” She is directly in my face at this point, looking at me through anguished eyes. “This is not over. We are not over, you mark my words.” Having said her piece, she gets in her car and leaves.
Haven 18
“You will never believe who Damir is dating.” It was Wednesday morning, Amber had not been to work in two days, and we were catching up with our daily gossip in the kitchen when she came in shouting.
“Probably not,” I tell her as I continue to stir my coffee. She gives me one of her ‘bitch please’ looks.
“What?” I shrug indifferently, as I taste my coffee. “I’m probably not going to guess who Damir is dating. How would I know?”
“He is dating Naima, your Naima.”
My mouth fell open and I almost dropped my cup. “Shut up! Are you serious?”
“More serious than this baby I am carrying.”
“How did you find out?” I ask, eyeing her intently.
“Okay,” Amber begins, already assuming her dramatic story-telling position by talking with her hands.
“I went over to Damir’s on Saturday because I wanted to see him. I pull up and he comes out to talk to me. He wouldn’t even let me in. Can you believe that shit? I mean I’m carrying his baby for goodness sake.” She looked at me expectedly.
I was not sure if I was supposed to respond or not. Choosing not to say anything, I continue drinking my coffee.
“Anyway,” she continues, “He’s talking to me like a salesman he is trying to get rid of. A short while later, your girl pulls up. As soon as she got out of the car, I announced my pregnancy, because I was not letting the shit go down like that. When she turned to leave, he took off running to explain the situation to her. He just left me standing there, assed out. Literally.”
“Wow” was all I could think to say.
“I just told you that your friend is fucking my baby daddy and the first thing to come out of your mouth is wow?” Amber gazes at me in bewilderment.
“I mean, shoot, I don’t know what I mean. It’s just so crazy.” Consumed with my own thoughts, I could not believe the ways of the world. Naima is dating Amber’s ex. I chuckle softly to myself. All our lives were a mess.
“I am not going to let this shit fly. Damir picked the wrong one to mess with. They’ll be sorry - him and his hazel-eyed whore,” she whispers with ill-concealed contempt.
Hearing Amber say, ‘they’ll be sorry’ quickly snapped me out of my trance and I gave her my undivided attention.
“What do you mean by they’ll be sorry?” I ask her cautiously. Naima and I may have our differences, but that did not mean I wanted anything bad to happen to her.
Amber, realizing her mistake, quickly relents and says “Nothing,” and walks out of the kitchen. I sit there a little longer thinking about our conversation. I had a bad feeling about Amber. The chick just does not seem to be wrapped too tight to me. I think she has a few loose screws in her head.
Picking my child up from football practice that evening, I notice that he was talking to a man whose silhouette seems vaguely familiar to me. Getting out of the car, I walk over to satisfy my curiosity. When I was in the vicinity of them, I recognize him immediately. Running over I yell for Kaven to get into the car. Upon reaching them I say, “How dare you come here and speak to my son?” My voice barely containing the rage I am feeling.
I looked down at Kaven who was eyeing both of us strangely, probably trying to figure out why his mother was acting like a raving lunatic.
“Kaven, I told you to get in the car.”
“But Ma, I wa-”
“Go now and if I have to tell you again, it’s going to be me and you. You understand?”
He hung his head down and muttered, “Yes, ma’am,” and retreats to the car.
Turning back to face the object of my rage, I speak to him again.
“You have no right to be here. How dare you?”
“Actually,” he says finally speaking, “I have every right to be here and I will continue to be around.”
I start in on him again. “You have no rig-”
He interrupts me, and if looks could kill, I would be dead right now. Speaking lowly, but with finality he says, “If I were you, I would tread very lightly. Very lightly.” With that, he walks away.
Visibly shaken, I h
ad to calm down before returning to the car. I do not want Kaven to see me like this. I did not know what to do. I walk around for a few more minutes, until I feel composed enough to be around my child.
As soon as I got into the car, Kaven starts with the questions.
“Mom, why are you so upset? Mr. Thomas comes to our practices all the time.”
I turn to look at him.
“Listen to me honey; Mr. Thomas is not your friend okay? I want you to stay away from him. Do you understand me?”
“But, Ma he taught me how to do this really cool….”
“Kaven, I said to stay away from him. That’s the end of it okay?” I ask and start the car.
Hearing only silence in return, I ask again. “Kaven, if I have to say it one more time its on, do you hear me?”
“Yes. I hear you,” He says sulking from the passenger seat of the car.
“Boy, I know you better get that attitude in check. I am not having it,” I say, raising my voice slightly.
“Yes, ma’am. I don’t have an attitude.”
“Good, then lets be on our way.” I look over and see him staring out the window with a sad look on his face. I feel so bad.
“Tell you what kiddo; I’m in the mood for ice cream.” Looking over at him, I suck in my cheeks to make fish lips and noises. “How about it, my favorite football player?”
He looks over at me and breaks into a toothless smile. He was going through that stage. Losing teeth every other day it seemed. I smile back at him and pinch the cute dimple on his cheek.
“Do I take that as a yes?”
“Yeah! Let’s go!”
I laugh, “Okay, ice cream it is.”
With Kaven tucked in for the night, I go and retrieve my college yearbook from the bookcase and sit on the sofa in the living room. Going through the pictures, I laugh at the memories and how much fun we used to have. Then I see the picture of Chris and me. Instantly my smile fades. No one knew about us. Not even Naima. I kept our whole encounter a secret. Gazing into the distance, I can remember everything so vividly.
Our library on campus is the best thing that ever happened to this freaking university. It has been under construction since I set foot on campus over a year ago. It was mid-term season so the library was the new hangout. I was standing in the checkout line, for what must have been my third visit today, alone. I am a little irritated. I had class at 8:00 this morning, and then had to head over to Naima and Kaden’s apartment to watch Namiyah while they went to class. This was typically our routine since we got into college, but Namiyah was getting to be a handful and I had to study. Sometimes I felt like I had a child too. I loved my best friend, so anything she needed, I tried to be there for her. Plus, seeing Kaden everyday was an added bonus. Damn Naima got lucky. Kaden could get it if he wanted, but he never tried and I didn’t want to put my friendship in danger. Just then, in the middle of my thoughts, I was bumped hard from behind.
“Excuse me,” said the person that bumped me. I turned to give him a piece of mind. I was not invisible. How did he not see me standing there? Now facing the culprit, I forgot whatever insult I was about to hurl at him.
Where do I start, the muscles, the smile, the mouth that I swear was saying ’Haven come kiss me.’ He was wearing sunglasses so I could not see his eyes, but he was a whole lot of goodness wrapped up in one package. Finally finding my voice, I was able to respond to him.
“Oh, that’s okay. I was probably the one in the way in the first place.”
He looked down at me and smiled, damn him for having the cutest dimple on the side of his chin.
“Do you like what you see?”
He caught me staring at it, staring at him, and his smile widened. I was not going to be embarrassed, so I owned up to it.
“As a matter of fact, I like everything that I see.” I said looking up at him.
“Is that right?” he asked me. It was then I realized he spoke with an accent. How sexy.
I opened my mouth slightly and gave a little smirk. “That’s right.”
‘So what do you say to doing me right here, right now.” He eyed me intently.
“Okay, maybe I don’t like what I see that much.” I relented. He called my bluff big time.
“I’m glad you said that. I would hate to lose respect for you.”
“Why did you extend an invitation, if you didn’t want me to take it?”
“I was curious to see where your mind was. Women today are either very easy, or like to play hard to get. I was interested in seeing which category you fell into. The woman I plan to pursue must have a good head on her shoulders.”
I didn’t know whether to be offended that he was trying to see if I was a ho or excited that he was standing here telling me that he intended to pursue me. Either way, I was unsure of what to say next.
“I’m Chris Thomas,” he said as he offered me his hand.
I took his hand into mine. “Haven Williams.”
“Haven and Chris. Has a nice ring to it, huh?”
I looked at him incredulously. Most guys run from any form or commitment and here this man was, already combining our names. “I don’t mean to be rude Chris, but I really must be going. I have a full night of studying waiting for me and it won’t wait.” I really was not trying to be rude but unless he was going to ask me out, I had to buckle down and study.
“I need to study too. I can walk you back to your dorm if you like,” he offered.
I weighed the pros and cons of him walking me back to my dorm, and figured that he was harmless. It beat walking back alone.
“Sure, you can walk with me. I would like that.”
That was how I met Chris Thomas. He loved me once upon a time. I realize that now. I wish I could turn back the hands of time, and take back the things I did to him. What he endured because of me is inexcusable. He sought me out to claim what was rightfully his, and I don’t know if there was anything, I could do about it. He was back to torment me. I could see it in those sparkling, emerald-green eyes of his, and he wasn’t going to leave until he got what he wanted.
Kaden 19
Finally, some things in my life were going according to plan. I am all moved and settled into my new home in D.C. and I couldn’t be happier. I still have a few boxes to unpack, but nothing major. Living in that big old house out in the suburbs was depressing me to no end. I was tired of being lonely. I even gave into Haven one night because I had been deprived of sex for so long. It was just sex though. The I’m-lonely-and-need-a–quick-fix–from-my-baby-momma meaningless kind of sex.
I come across Damir Collins business card again. It has been about two months since I met him. I have been so preoccupied with all the issues in my life, that I have not taken the time to contact him about the job opportunity. There is definitely no time like the present to be productive. That is something I picked up from Naima. She was a woman constantly on the move. I miss her. Every day I miss her, and there is nothing I can do about that situation. I need to focus on things that I can control, like calling Damir.
I was about to make the call, as my phone rings in my hand. Naima’s name flashes across the screen and I instantly I get excited.
“Naima, what a pleasant surprise.”
“Hi Kaden. I was wondering if you had some free time to stop by my parent’s house tonight.”
I am genuinely shocked.
“You just want me to stop by? You actually want to see me?” I ask, getting my hopes up.
“Well,” she starts hesitantly, “it’s just that the children haven’t seen you in a while, and I was thinking that we could both spend some time with them together. So they can still feel some sort of family bond with both of us.”
I look up at the ceiling and silently thank God for the opportunity of a lifetime. I plan to make the most of it.
“I would love to come over,” I tell her. “What time did you have in mind?”
“We’ll be here all day, so whenever you want to come through, come on. Ma
is cooking, as usual,” she laughs softly. Damn, I miss the sound of her laughter. “You know how she always thinks the end of the world is coming tomorrow and we must eat as much as possible.”
“Yeah, Mrs. Cynthia always has the kitchen on lock.” I look down at my watch it is about 2:00 in the afternoon now. “I can be there in about an hour. Will that work?”
“An hour would be perfect. Thanks so much for doing this. The kids will be so excited.”
“And what about their mother? Will she be excited as well?” I do not know why I asked her that. It slipped out before I had a chance to think about it.
There was a prominent silence on the phone before she speaks again.
“Kaden, don’t do this, okay?” I can hear the exasperation in her voice.
I quickly interrupt her, “I apologize. I got caught up in the moment. It won’t happen again.”
“Okay, well then we’ll see you in about an hour. Bye” And just like that, she was gone.
I can barely contain my excitement. Naima wants me to come over. Even though I know it is just to spend time with the kids, I am happy nevertheless. At least this way I could see and spend time with her.
I am still holding Damir’s business card in my hand. I forgot that I was supposed to call him before Naima’s call came through.
I dial his number and the phone rings until his answering machine picks up. I leave a brief message reminding him who I am, how we met, and my contact information so that he could get in contact with me.
Having my business squared away, I head out to visit Naima and the kids.
I pull into the familiar driveway about 45 minutes later, and smile when I see Namiyah sitting on the front step.
She is at the car before I can even turn the engine off.
“Daddy, guess what!” She was talking as soon as I opened the door.
“What, Muffin?” I ask her as I ruffle her hair. She tries to duck as she continues talking, not really waiting for my comment.