“Sure.” He drove more quickly up Town Center Parkway and pulled to a stop outside the hotel.
I handed him the cash and he fanned the bills out like a hand of poker as I stepped from the car.
“Merry Christmas,” I said.
He kept staring at the money. “Merry Christmas.”
I closed the car door, and he pulled away.
Then I remembered Kathy at the front desk. I was still feeling high off my adventure. I wanted to enjoy that for a while longer, not muddle it. Pleasures didn’t always mix well, like champagne and the sun.
I walked around the building and went in the back way, nearer the elevators. I hoped Kathy wasn’t offended.
Chapter 14
Poisonous Women
I decided I still needed to keep my distance from Kimber. She was intoxicating and also poisonous, and frankly, she scared the hell out of me.
But I didn’t want to be harsh with her, either. Seeing her cry, the tears I’d caused, made me feel like my mind would spiral out of control if I wasn’t very careful, if I didn’t hold tightly onto my thoughts and environment. That was why I’d refused to see anyone but my clients for the last several days.
I got out of bed early and shaved and showered. Being ratty-ass was a nice vacation. Now I was ready to go back to normal.
After my shower, I stood in the middle of my hotel room, wondering what I was supposed to do now—on Christmas Day. I had nothing to do, no one to visit. Penny was surely still exhausted—I didn’t want to bother her. And there was no one else.
I sat on the end of the bed. Where was I even going to eat?
The day passed slowly. That movie with Ralphie and the BB gun was on TV. It played over and over. The convenience store down the road was open. Christmas dinner consisted of Reese’s trees, chips, and a six-pack of Sam Adams.
Thankfully, I fell asleep early.
My thoughts flew around in my head while I slept. When I woke in the early morning, I was ready to be awake, to be more in control of my thoughts.
I was ready to go home.
My mind was too freaking active. I needed my routine, something to occupy me.
I shaved and showered and then threw my crap into my bag and went downstairs to check out. On my way through the lobby, I grabbed a bagel from the breakfast spread. I ate during my walk back to the mall. It was still pretty quiet. Only the big department stores were open.
Penny and Kimber were behind the counter organizing receipts when I walked in. Penny’s eyes were down in obvious concentration. Christmas Eve was insane at the shop, and she always had a hell of a time sorting the mess on the twenty-sixth.
“Sounds like you have a secret admirer,” Penny said to Kimber.
“It was so weird. I was just looking at it—” Kimber glanced up, stopped talking, and looked back down at what she was doing.
Penny looked at her as if waiting for her to finish her thought. Then she looked over at me.
“Good morning,” I said.
“Heath.” She came around the counter and ran to me.
I caught her, wondering what in the world was up. Penny had never been a touchy type person. She rested her head on my shoulder and clung to me.
“Is everything all right?” I said.
She took a few deep breaths.
“I thought,” she said. “The note. I thought maybe…you weren’t coming back.”
The note—I realized with what I’d written and my recent behavior, coupled with my request that she not schedule appointments, what she’d think.
“No, Penny,” I said as I held her tightly. “I’m sorry.” I wished she’d let me hug her more often, not just when she was upset. And even then, I knew the hug wouldn’t last long.
Slowly, she stepped back and wiped her cheeks.
“I’m sorry,” I said again. Then I noticed her right hand. I took her hand in mine and touched the ring.
Her lips curved a little. “I saw one just like it once—”
“I know.”
“You remember that?”
“You said if a guy wants to marry you, he’d have to give you a ring like that. I wanted to show you I’m just as committed.”
Her smile slowly spread.
Then Kimber caught my attention, the fact that she was watching us. She looked away. A few seconds later, she went down the back hall, surely to get more product to fill the empty shelves. Penny must trust her. She allowed very few people in the back hall, employee or not. Usually, only Penny or I brought boxes out from the storage room.
“Oh, crap,” Penny said as if she just realized she’d stopped working. “I have so much to do.” She walked back toward the counter.
I followed. “Sorry I left you to fend for yourself on Christmas Eve.”
“This place is my job, not yours.” She gathered the receipts, stuffed them in an envelope, and threw them in a drawer. “Where’d you go anyway?”
“The hotel down the street.”
“I thought you didn’t want any appointments.”
Right, of course she’d make assumptions. “I was alone.”
She looked at me as if I was barking, not speaking.
“Sex isn’t the only thing I’m capable of.” Though sometimes I had a hard time remembering any of the things I’d ever been good at.
I picked up a price gun and a bottle of lotion from the box on the counter and continued where Kimber had left off. Penny didn’t ask any more about the hotel. I doubted she fully believed me, but I knew she didn’t want to know anyway.
“I’m not going to ask how much your gift cost,” she said.
“Good, because I’m not going to tell you.”
She grinned and walked over to one of the shelves at the front of the store. She began restocking lavender bath beads.
Kimber came back out, carting a box. She set it down at the other side of the counter, as far from me as possible.
The morning light fell through the window. Her hair glowed. The light seemed to pull the red out. It looked like fire, like volcanic rock flowing down a hillside. It curved smoothly down her back and over her shoulders.
I realized I had an erection and looked away.
I tried to focus on pricing the lotion, but that just made me fantasize about what it would be like to rub Kimber down with it, the feel of her soft skin under my hands, her murmurs of pleasure, her warmth as she became aroused. And then I’d lay against her and…
Fuck. She was even more poisonous than Cassie.
For a good fifteen minutes, I focused on calming my erection. Finally, it was to the point where I thought I could get away with walking around.
Kimber picked up her box and headed across the store.
I stepped out from behind the counter and took the box from her hands. “That looks heavy.”
“I’m fine.” She reached for the box, but I kept walking with it.
She trailed behind me. “I don’t need any help.”
I set the box down in front of the correct shelf and started stocking the gardenia body spray.
She stood there for a few seconds and then grabbed a couple of bottles.
“This is the kind you use,” I said, “isn’t it?”
Her arms extended toward the shelves, holding two bottles, and she stopped.
I took the bottles from her, set them on the shelf, and then looked at her for an answer.
“Different brand,” she said and then kneeled next to the box to get more bottles.
I kneeled as well. My voice was soft. “I’m sorry.”
She stared at me as if trying to figure me out. The color of her eyes sparkled in the light like the emeralds I’d seen in the jewelry store. Her lips, slightly parted, were the prettiest pink. I wanted to see if they tasted like bubblegum or strawberries.
My erection returned.
I looked down at the box and then back to her. “Tell Penny I went for a walk.” Then I was out the door and heading up the sidewalk. I’d planned to help Penny today,
but I couldn’t do it. Being rude to Kimber was easier. I just couldn’t live with myself if I continued to hurt her. Perhaps I’d try helping Penny later, if the store was full of customers and I could stay away from Kimber.
Basically, I had only one option with Kimber—avoid her at all costs.
Chapter 15
The Woman Whose Name I Can’t Remember
Damn, it felt good to fuck again. Three days was too long. I came across one of my regulars on my walk and brought her to my room through the back door.
Spooning her in bed, I pressed into her. She moaned. I was glad I’d met this particular woman. She was loose. I didn’t have to be so careful about not hurting her.
With my hand on her hip, I thrust. She liked it a little rough.
I lifted her leg and felt down her stomach to where I entered her. We were slimy with moisture. I thrust again, and the moisture sloshed. My dick was like a steel pole.
She reached around and laid her hand on my cheek, across my jaw. I closed my eyes, and it was Kimber’s hand, her soft, gentle fingers, like tall grasses in the breeze.
We were together for a few hours. I was with Kimber. I lost track of reality, in my own world where nothing hurt, the past was blank, and I could be with Kimber. I wasn’t terrified of being close to her, of being hurt again. I could kiss her, adore her, make love to her.
For a few hours, my life was exactly what I wanted. She held me like she wanted to be close, like she cared. Even after her final orgasm, she let me hold her. She wasn’t like the other women who left quickly, who had to get back to their real lives, their families and husbands.
My cheek against hers, I breathed in the warmth we’d created. She curled into me, and I rested my hand on her skin. My eyes remained closed while I memorized what this felt like.
“Wow, that was amazing. I’m glad you came back early.”
I opened my eyes and was completely lost, like the people in the story I was writing, the ones in the mental hospital.
The woman in my arms was not Kimber.
I stood from the bed and turned away. My heart pounded against my chest wall. My mind wouldn’t work in straight lines. I looked around the room to make sure I was where I thought I was.
This is your room, Heath. You’re not nuts.
I closed my eyes and tried to remember reality. It was hard to sort, like separating pins from pine needles. I doubted each element, each fact.
“Heath, you all right, baby?”
The woman’s voice, it was familiar to me. I knew her. Now what was her goddamned name?
I turned and pasted a charming smile on my face. “Was it good for you?”
She smiled and flopped back down on the pillow.
My heart was still pounding, and my hands were shaking. I looked around for my pants. I couldn’t remember where they were. I only vaguely remembered meeting this woman and bringing her back here. I still couldn’t remember her fucking name.
I found my jeans on the floor and pulled them on. I didn’t button them because I didn’t think I could steady my hands well enough.
The woman sat up. “You know, I used to think it was just the size of your dick that made you so good.”
Hadn’t someone else said that to me recently? I couldn’t remember.
I locked my smile into place. “You’ve changed your mind?” What day was it? The day after Christmas, that was it, wasn’t it?
She stood from the bed and slipped on her panties, black lace, Victoria’s Secret. How did I know that and not remember her name?
“Well,” she said, “your size certainly does help.”
My expression was cocky. “Thank you.”
She sighed. “You should see my husband. He’s tiny. I can barely feel it when we have sex.”
“I think I’ll pass.”
She laughed. “Good thing he has money, or else he’d never get laid.”
“So, you only screw him for the money?” I teased.
“Hell yeah.” She pulled on her shirt and then picked up her purse from the floor and opened it. “I can’t remember exactly when we started, but five hundred should cover it.” She held out a wad of cash.
I stuffed it in my pocket.
I watched as she finished dressing. Reality started to thicken, to seem less fluid. I wasn’t sure I liked it. A part of me seemed to cling to the confusion, like I could just imagine the world the way I wanted it and pretend nothing else existed.
The last item she put on was a tweed jacket, completing her costume as an upstanding respectable wife. I realized how much effort she put forth to conceal who she really was—all for the money. I used to think poorly of women like her, but now I knew better, or rather, appreciated the amount of effort she put forth every day. If she was willing to be who her husband wanted her to be, then she deserved to spend some of his money. She was giving him exactly what he wanted, and I doubted he didn’t at least suspect it was an act. Maybe he actually preferred it this way—he could have a freak in bed and a respectable wife to bring to business parties.
And who was I to say it was wrong? I did for her what she did for her husband. Only I wasn’t really doing it for the money. I used to tell myself that was why I lived like this, but I never even spent any of the damn money.
She stepped into her shoes, four-inch heels, and moved closer. She trailed her hand down my shoulder, chest, stomach…“I’ll see you later.”
She walked out and closed the door.
I just stood there like an idiot. I was pretty sure I had reclaimed my grasp on reality.
Kimber was taking over my fucking mind. Maybe I was going nuts. I couldn’t let her control me like this—some girl I barely knew.
Then I realized—I didn’t know jack shit about her. That could be my cure. I could fuck pretty much anyone, but to be really into a girl, I had to like her. She had to be interesting. So far, Kimber was interesting—sarcastic and sweet and funny—but that was just a surface impression. Maybe underneath that interesting façade was dull, simplistic.
But how in the hell was I supposed to find any of this out? I couldn’t afford to talk to her, and she certainly wasn’t going to open up to me, anyway.
Penny. Kimber was talking to Penny this morning, about the book I left her. She was telling her something reasonably personal. Maybe Penny knew more. She did have to interview her for the job after all.
I found the rest of my clothes on the floor and tangled in the sheets.
I knew Penny would still be out on the sales floor. I just hoped Kimber was on a break or something.
Chapter 16
The Ex-Church-Goer
I stocked a few shelves, the stuff Penny and Kimber hadn’t been able to finish before the shop opened. I felt like an asshole for having left them.
The shop was bustling. Penny ran the register while Kimber helped people on the sales floor. She smiled a little at some guy in a suit. I wanted to hit him.
I focused away from Kimber and walked over to stand next to Penny.
“Thanks,” she said as I set the now empty box down.
“Sorry I left.”
She handed a receipt to the man in front of her and smiled as he walked away.
“Where’d you go, anyway?” she said to me.
“Impromptu appointment.” Talk about an oxymoron. But I couldn’t think of another polite way to put it.
Her mouth tightened. “Someone new?”
“A regular.”
I bent down to unlock the bottom drawer and threw the cash inside.
She glanced at me as if she wanted to say something, and then the next customer came up to the counter.
Now how to get her to talk about Kimber?
“So, I hear Sherry quit,” I said. “Aren’t you trying to replace her?”
“Kimber said she wants to work full-time. Said she’d do seven days if I let her.”
“That’s an awful lot.” Then I added, “You’ll have to pay overtime.” I didn’t want her to know why I was conc
erned about Kimber working so much.
“Yeah, but she’s worth it.”
“Did she have really great references or something?”
“Thanks for shopping with us,” she said to the woman who’d returned one item and bought four. Then she said to me, “Actually, she didn’t have much in the way of references.”
My eyebrows pulled together. That was usually a sticking point with Penny.
“She asked me to take a chance,” she said. “It took some convincing, but I’m glad I did.”
“Why doesn’t she have references?”
“She only worked at a fast food place for a few months before this. I had to push to get her to tell me that was her only job experience.”
“She’s got to be at least twenty-five.”
“Twenty-six.”
I kept looking at her with a confused expression. Kimber’s apartment was tiny enough that I knew she wasn’t living with her parents. I supposed she could live with a guy, but she seemed rather aggressively negative toward men. Something told me she didn’t live with a guy, that she probably didn’t have a whole hell of a lot of experience, other than turning men down. She’d asked me about how I’d flirted with her. Women didn’t do that—they simply flirted back. No, Kimber didn’t know how that kind of thing went.
“I don’t know,” Penny said. “I get the feeling something big in her life just changed. I haven’t asked what.”
“Do you think you should be relying on her so much? You don’t have anyone else if she flakes out on you.”
“I don’t think she will.”
“How can you be sure?” Then I added, “I worry about you.”
She rested her hand on my forearm and squeezed. She used to do that when I was nervous. She hadn’t done it in a long time.
“Don’t worry,” she said. She took the next person’s card, swiped it, and handed it back. After the customer walked away, she continued, “She said something the other day about separating from her church. I think that was hard on her.”
“Why?”
She shrugged.
Okay, she stopped going to church. So? I knew some people took that pretty seriously, but wouldn’t she just go to a different church?
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