“I parked out front after Penny left,” she said as we moved in that direction.
We walked out into the main part of the store, and I saw her little Plymouth in the storefront parking.
“Shall I take that out of your pay?” Penny was behind the counter, looking at Kimber.
Chapter 29
The Only Woman I’ve Ever Hated
Kimber just looked at Penny, eyebrows pulled together in confusion.
“Penny.” My tone meant shut up.
She focused on Kimber. “I said, would you like me to take that out of your pay?”
“What?” Kimber said.
I stood in front of Penny. “Stop.”
She moved to walk around me. I grabbed her arm, but she pulled away. She knew damn well I’d never restrain her physically.
What in the hell was she doing? My outburst couldn’t have pissed her off this much. If she told Kimber where my money came from…She couldn’t do that to me.
Penny walked around me toward Kimber. “Do you think his time is free?”
Kimber looked to me and then back to her. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“You’ve been here all night with Heath.”
Kimber raised her chin. “Yes.”
I took Kimber’s hand and tried leading her toward the door.
“What’s wrong?” Kimber said.
I didn’t know how to answer that. I kept a hold of her hand, and she let me lead her. We made it across the store. I thought maybe I could get her out…
“He sleeps with women for money,” Penny said. “He’s been doing it for years.”
Kimber stopped.
“Ignore her,” I said.
Her eyes widened, and she shifted away from me.
“Please,” I said.
“You’re always disappearing into that room, the huge bed, the fireplace, the silk sheets…”
“Kimber.” I moved closer, and she stepped back.
A long pause while she stared at me.
Her eyes began to tear. I wanted to comfort her, to hold her. I stayed where I was.
A tear fell down her cheek. “Is anything you told me the truth?”
“All of it. I promise.” My hand lifted. I wanted to take her hand, but I saw in her eyes she didn’t trust me anymore, the only person I’d ever trusted with my full story, the only person I’d allowed to truly know me in the last seven years. I told her everything, and now she didn’t trust any of it was the truth.
“I’m not the only woman you slept with yesterday,” she said, “am I?”
I was trapped. I wouldn’t lie to her. This was the last moment I’d have with her, probably the last time I’d ever see her, and I couldn’t tell her goodbye, that I’d miss her, that I loved her. I wanted the moment to last, even if she was glaring at me, even if she was thinking how much she hated me.
“No,” I finally said.
She slapped me. My head turned from the force.
She walked out of the shop, away from me, forever. Surely I’d never see her again. I watched as she walked across the sidewalk, got in her car, and sped away. I hated myself for hurting her like that. I wasn’t sure what I’d been thinking. Someone like her could never want me, not like I wanted her.
I knew I’d always want her. I’d love her forever.
And now she was gone.
“What in the hell are you doing?” Penny’s enraged tone reminded me of her existence, of how much I hated her.
I turned away from the window and walked past her behind the counter. From the bottom drawer I took the book that held my schedule and any other information we kept about my clients.
Penny was glaring at me. I wasn’t about to explain anything to her—she didn’t deserve to know, and I didn’t think I could speak to her without roaring curses spewing from my mouth. For the first time in my life, I truly hated someone, and it killed me that it was her, that my sister had betrayed me, the one person I’d always relied on.
I found Elizabeth’s page in the book. She was the only person I could think of to turn to. I memorized her phone number then dumped the book in the trash.
“Heath,” Penny demanded.
I took out the bank bag, the last item in the infamous locked drawer, took out the cash, and tossed the bag in the trash.
I turned toward the back hall.
She stood in my way. “What are you doing?”
I looked past her, over her head.
She lifted her hand as if to turn my head. I grabbed her hand and held it away from me.
“Ow,” she said.
I glared down at her, and she looked up at me as if staring into the face of Satan.
“We’re done.” I threw her hand away and walked past her down the hall.
In my room, I finished dressing, grabbed my backpack from the closet, and stuffed all my notebooks inside. They barely fit. Then I found a duffel bag, the one I used when I left the house Cassie and I had together. Into the bag I threw some clothes, soap, and my razor.
In the span of about ten minutes, my life changed from visions of being with Kimber, of taking care of her and eventually marrying her, to nothing. I had no lover, no sister, no one.
I walked out the back door, away from Penny, away from my memories of Kimber, or rather the place where my memories of Kimber happened. I’d always have her with me. She’d plague me for the rest of my life.
Chapter 30
My Only Friend
I walked with no idea where I was going.
Down the street, past the hotel, there was a gas station. I stopped. I couldn’t go to the hotel—and take the risk of dealing with Kathy, the flirty front desk attendant, and there wasn’t a hotel within walking distance.
Only one option remained. I supposed I could call a cab from the pay phone, but I didn’t want to be alone. It didn’t seem wise. After Cassie died, I thought about joining her often, more than was healthy, if any suicidal thoughts could be considered healthy. Having someone close to me and keeping in motion was how I survived. Losing Kimber felt just as impossible as losing Cassie. I knew I shouldn’t be alone.
I dropped my bag on the ground by the pay phone and reached in my pocket for a quarter. I pulled out twenties, fifties, and hundreds, no change. Shit. I risked leaving my crap outside and went in the gas station store. Changing in a twenty for a quarter was a fucking nightmare.
Finally, I stepped up to the pay phone, inserted the quarter, and dialed the number I’d memorized. I hoped she answered.
The line rang several times. I thought about hanging up. She had enough to deal with without adding my insanity to the mix.
“Hello?” Elizabeth finally said.
“It’s Heath.”
“Oh, hey.”
A pause. I wasn’t sure how to ask.
“Is something wrong?” she said.
“I left Penny.”
“You mean…you moved out?”
I could hear she was in the car. I figured Rachel was with her, probably on the way to school, and what Elizabeth meant was if I was done fucking for money.
“Yes,” I said. “I’m done.”
“Where are you going to go?”
“I don’t know yet.”
Rachel’s voice in the background, quiet, as if she was trying not to interrupt her mother’s conversation. “Bye, Mom.”
“Heath,” Elizabeth said, “hold on one second.” Rustling, as if she changed the way she was holding the phone, away from her ear. She spoke to Rachel. “We’re going to have a guest, but I should be on time to get you.”
“If you’re late, I’ll just catch a ride. Don’t worry.”
“Have a good day, sweetheart.”
“Bye, Mom.”
A car door closing, and then Elizabeth’s voice resumed its normal volume. “Where are you?”
“The Hess station on Town Center.”
“I’ll be about ten minutes.”
“Thank you, Elizabeth.” I hung up. I didn’t actu
ally want to talk. I just didn’t want to be alone.
Alone. I had to start getting used to the idea. I could stay a few nights with Elizabeth at most. After that, I’d have to find my own place—I would not be a burden to her. And then I’d be alone constantly.
Not wanting to be alone was a big reason why I’d started sleeping around after Cassie was gone. Anyone’s company was better than my own, and when I had sex, I could forget for a little while.
Sex was easy then. Cassie was gone. I had no one to be loyal to, and knowing I wasn’t the last man to be with her made my banging the whole city that much easier.
I supposed that was another reason I slept around for so many years. I was never in a relationship; therefore, I couldn’t be rejected.
And then Kimber appeared and fucked it all up.
I should’ve realized this couldn’t have ended in any other way. If Penny hadn’t told her, she would’ve found out where my money came from eventually. A good woman like Kimber could never accept that. I was a fool to think I had any chance of keeping her, of marrying her. I was a fucking moron.
A car stopped in front of me.
I looked up to see Elizabeth’s Jaguar. I stood from the curb as she got out of the car. My ass was numb, and I realized I was cold. I’d left my coat.
“Are you all right?” Elizabeth sounded more worried than she had on the phone. Perhaps I looked like shit. Whatever.
I picked up my bags.
She hurried around to open the back passenger door, and I tossed my crap on the seat. Then I sat in the front passenger seat, and she resumed her place behind the wheel.
She started driving.
“Thank you,” I said.
“Whatever you need, I’m here.”
I looked at her and tried to smile. It didn’t work. I turned back toward the windshield.
Her voice was gentle. “Do you want to talk about it?”
“No.”
We were quiet for several minutes. Out the window, I watched the edge of the road flash by, all the dirt, rocks, and weeds. It all blurred together.
“Are you warm enough?” she eventually said.
I looked over at her as if waking from a deep sleep. I heard her but couldn’t quite comprehend, as if my ability to process language was lagging.
“You were shivering,” she said.
“Was I?”
She set her hand on mine as it rested on my thigh. The warmth of her hand almost hurt.
“You’re freezing.” She wrapped her fingers around mine and drove one-handed.
“Where are we going?” I said. We weren’t headed for Gate Parkway.
“Dipshit let us have the house back. He said it’s for Rachel’s sake. He’s just trying to look good for the court.”
“I’m impressed.”
Her eyebrows pulled together and then rose. She almost looked mad.
I still couldn’t manage a smile. “You’ve adopted his true name.”
Her expression relaxed, like the drawing open of curtains. She turned back to the road. “Brad just doesn’t seem to fit anymore.”
“Dipshit works. Maybe fucking waste of skin.”
“Either.”
I nodded.
I’d done right to call Elizabeth. Already I felt like I could comprehend my surroundings better. Maybe it was her kind face or maybe it was the vindictive pleasure I got for ragging on dipshit Brad.
She turned into a gated development off Baymeadows Road and drove through the neighborhood. The houses got bigger the farther in we drove. The drive she stopped in was one of the last. The houses on her street had more lawn than any of the others we passed. She’d said once that she lived in an $800,000 house. That must have been the value when she bought it years ago. It was huge, all brick with a wraparound porch and a three-car garage.
“So, where’s dipshit staying?” I said.
She smirked. “One of my rental properties. I wanted to get Rachel back home, so I offered.” She turned off the ignition and opened her door.
“Elizabeth.”
She looked over at me.
“Thank you,” I said.
She smiled. “Letting you come stay with us doesn’t come close to repaying you.” She stood from the car.
I stepped out and grabbed my bags from the backseat. Realizing I’d just flung them in, I took a look at the very fine leather to make sure I hadn’t scratched it. I’d have to be more careful. Surely, the inside of her house was just as nice as her car. I was used to my small room, to everything in it being mine. I hadn’t been a guest anywhere in a very long time. It was definitely going to be interesting, especially in my current state.
“Do you want some help?” she said as I walked around the car.
“I’m good.” Did she really think I’d let her carry my bags?
I followed her up the front walk and into the house.
The house was beautiful—dark hardwood, molding everywhere, and huge rooms.
“You look exhausted,” she said. “When’s the last time you slept?”
I couldn’t think of when. The last day felt like two months, not some miscellaneous Wednesday. I was fairly certain today was now Thursday, not that it mattered.
“Have you eaten?” she said.
“I’m not hungry.”
She smirked. “Put your bags down there and come with me.”
I obeyed.
She had me sit at the table in the kitchen. I rested my elbows on the table and stared at my hands, and she went about opening cabinets.
Then there was a clunk of ceramic on the table in front of me.
I focused on the plate, linguini and oil.
“It’s just leftovers,” she said.
It smelled heavenly. I hadn’t realized how hungry I was, how much my stomach hurt. I pulled the plate closer and picked up the fork.
She sat at the table with me. “It’s not exactly breakfast food.”
“Doesn’t matter,” I said. “Thank you.”
A few minutes passed.
“Do you want to tell me what happened?” she said.
I took a bite and chewed while looking at the plate.
“I understand,” she said. “Just know I’m here whenever you want to talk.”
Without looking up, I nodded once.
I set the fork on the plate, and before I could stand to take it to the sink, she took it and put it in the dishwasher.
She had me follow her back toward the entry hall, where I grabbed my bags, and then went upstairs to a guest room. Then she left me to “settle in.” I’d never really gotten what that meant. I wasn’t going to put any of my clothes away in the dresser or closet. I wouldn’t be here longer than a day or two. Elizabeth would welcome me to stay longer, I was sure, but it hardly looked appropriate. Surely, her every action was being scrutinized with her divorce pending—and dipshit trying to suck money out of her. If he could prove her infidelity, especially when she couldn’t prove his, she’d be screwed.
I sat on the bed and stared out the window to the trees at the back of the house. Somewhere in my mind I knew I was starting to doze. Then I slumped sideways onto a pillow.
Dreams took over my mind. I hadn’t dreamt of Cassie in years, but there she was standing in front of me. We were seventeen, and her parents were out of town.
She didn’t quite meet my eyes as she pulled off her shirt. Then she unhooked her bra and let it fall to the floor.
My heart pounded. I stayed seated and watched, allowing her to control the pace, where and if she wanted to stop.
She unzipped her pants and lowered them. I’d never seen this much of her golden skin. She stood straight, only a little pair of cotton panties on, and she finally met my eyes. “I love you,” she said.
I paused to admire her, my beautiful Cassie. My head tilted as I took in each perfect angle, and she smiled a little.
Then I stood and took her hand.
It was our first time together. I stayed all night with her, knowing Penny wo
uld scream at me in the morning. I didn’t care.
Only a few years later, I’d look back and realize this was when I fully committed myself to Cassie. I’d already told her I loved her—this was when I showed her.
Then the scene morphed. The sheets changed from purple cotton to black silk.
“Heath,” Kimber moaned. Her voice vibrated through me.
And then she was out of my arms. Her warmth was gone, only desolate cold.
“Kimber.”
My own voice calling out pulled me from sleep.
Chapter 31
Another Woman Lost
I sat up and tried to remember where I was. Kimber, she was just here. I couldn’t find her.
Then everything flooded back. The dream was real.
I let reality sink in for several minutes. It felt like that horrible spidery ache of blood rushing back to a body part that had fallen asleep. It settled into my veins like barbed wire.
Then I got up and went to the en suite bathroom to take a piss.
Back in the bedroom, I took off my shoes and made sure they hadn’t left any dirt on the bedding. It looked fine.
I sat back down on the bed and noticed a folded piece of paper on the nightstand. “Went to get Rachel. Will be back.”
So, it had to be around three o’clock. I’d slept all day—and I was still tired. I hadn’t slept in two nights. Except for the fear that I might dream again, more sleep sounded good. Elizabeth wouldn’t try to get me to talk. She’d let me rest.
I took off my jeans and shirt and pulled a pair of wrinkled boxer briefs from my duffel. I hadn’t bothered with underwear earlier, in too much of a hurry to get the hell out of there.
Under the covers, I lay down, facing away from the door. Sleep quickly sucked me under.
My dreams were just flashes for a while—the women in my life, all the women in my life. There were so many faces, so much sex, that it all blurred together. It was like fast-forwarding through the last seven years. There were orgasms and women calling my name and then stretches of loneliness. As I became better known, as I built my client list, the lonely times became fewer. I liked the women I was with, truly enjoyed their company, for the simple fact that they helped make things a little easier for a few hours. I was thankful to them.
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