For now the afternoon was perfect. She floated in that state between full sleep and awareness. She could hear the hum of bees in the patch of clover that grew near the back of the yard. The birds were silent—probably napping, she thought idly.
Had Megan and Frederick patched things up? Had Megan applied her mother’s philosophy and been sweet to Frederick? Could Kerry be sweet to a man who made her angry? Probably not. She’d want to knock his head off. Yet people could be angry at each other and not end their relationship. Everyone got mad sometimes.
She wished again that she had known Megan. Wished they had grown up together and exchanged girlish confidences. Wished she could have discussed the different ingredients with her. Were they really the way to a man’s heart? Or only the foolish imagination of a young woman at the beginning of the century?
Of course, she’d had Sally to exchange confidences with as a girl and that had been great. Her cousin was special. Which nudged her further. She still needed to finish her list to give to Sally. She was curious to find out if Megan’s ingredients truly worked. She’d insist her cousin try them, just as Megan had listed them. In a minute she’d read some more of the journal and write any new points down. In a minute…Slowly Kerry drifted to sleep.
“I don’t think Sleeping Beauty fell asleep in the sun,” a familiar voice said softly in her ear. “She might have gotten a case of terminal sunburn.”
Kerry awoke with a start. Opening her eyes, she looked into Jake’s deep gaze.
“You’ll get burned.”
“It’s late, the rays aren’t so strong now,” she said, her tongue scarcely able to form the words. Jake was here, just a few inches away. Her heart pounded. Would he kiss her again? Like last night’s kiss? And if so could she keep any semblance of normality, or would he guess instantly that she had fallen in love again?
Again? Had she ever stopped? Had she just damped down her emotions until she thought she had recovered from lovesickness? He had been the standard against which she’d measured every man she’d dated. The others had all fallen short.
“You can still burn. What are you reading?”
“My great-grandmother’s journal. I told you about it the other night,” she said, gripping it tightly.
“Interesting?”
“Yes.” Blinking in the bright sunshine, she tried to see him clearly. He was back-lighted from the sun, his face in shadow.
“Is it late, is that why you’re home?” she asked still a bit confused from her nap.
“I took off a little early. Want to have dinner together? I could throw some hamburgers on a grill.”
Kerry swallowed, remembering all the admonitions in the journal. But for once she did not give a thought to playing hard to get. Sometimes a woman needed to grasp an opportunity. “Yes, I’d like that. I can bring a salad.”
“Come over when you’re ready. I’m going in to change.”
Ten minutes later Kerry carried a large bowl through the backyard and knocked on his screen door.
“Come on in,” Jake called.
Entering, she took a deep breath. She could do this and not let him suspect a thing. She’d been lecturing herself since his invitation. She’d be friendly, polite and follow Megan’s advice to the letter. And memorize every moment spent with Jake.
“I’ll fire up the grill in the back. When the coals are ready, we can cook these,” Jake said, forming patties from ground meat.
Kerry nodded, letting her gaze follow the long length of his muscular legs showing beneath the shorts he wore. The white T-shirt outlined his muscular shoulders and back. Taking a deep breath, she repeated her vow to remain friendly, not lovestruck like the teenager she’d once been.
“I’ll put this in the refrigerator,” Kerry said crossing to the large unit. Once done, she turned to walk back to stand beside Jake. How often had she longed for similar evenings so long ago? The two of them, together, preparing a meal?
“Can I help with anything else?”
“Don’t think so. It’s not a very elaborate meal.”
“I don’t need elaborate.” Leaning against the counter, Kerry watched as he worked. “How was court?” she asked.
“Went well. I think we’ll do summations tomorrow and send it to the jury.”
“Will they work over the weekend?”
“No, probably begin their deliberations on Monday. It’s not a sequestered jury.”
“And do you think you’ll win?”
He smiled grimly. “Yes, but it’s been a tough case. And I got blindsided at the onset by my client not telling me the full truth.”
“How did you know?”
Jake glanced at her as if to see if she really wanted him to continue. Seeing the interest on her face, he related as much as he could about the case without violating attorney-client privilege. Kerry listened attentively. Jake’s work fascinated her. Jake fascinated her.
The sun was still warm when they moved to the grill. Kerry asked more question about the different cases Jake worked on and he answered them all. Soon the sizzling burgers were ready. Buns had been toasted and the salad brought out.
“I didn’t bring any dressing, don’t you have any?” Kerry asked, peering into the refrigerator.
“No. I’ll run next door and get it. Does Peggy keep it in the refrigerator door?”
“Yes, but I can go,” she said. “I’m the one who forgot to bring any.”
“No trouble. What do you want?”
“Ranch.”
Kerry spread mustard on her bun, piled pickles on and then looked for the onions. Hesitating only a moment, she loaded them on the bun. She loved them. And if she kept her wits about her tonight, she wouldn’t have to worry about her breath. She planned to stay out of arm’s reach of Jake.
Where was the man? She looked out the window. Couldn’t he find the dressing? She was sure she’d put it right in the tray in the door. Pushing open his screen door, she walked across to her aunt’s house.
“Can’t you find—” She stopped suddenly in the doorway, her heart freezing. Jake held the journal in one hand, the list for Sally in the other. She hadn’t had a chance to give it to her cousin yet. She had just added the last bit, about the honey and vinegar.
His face appeared carved from stone.
“What is this?” His voice sounded cold as ice. His eyes flint hard.
Unable to move, Kerry stared at him, at a total loss for words. She had left the journal on the counter. Why had he picked it up? The list had been tucked inside, she was sure of it.
Why couldn’t she have taken it back upstairs? Clearing her voice, she drew a deep breath. “My great-grandmother’s journal,” she said.
“And this?” He held the list by the corner as if it might contaminate him.
“Just a list,” she said. Her heart raced. Panicked, she didn’t know what to do. She wanted to snatch it from his hands, ball it up and throw it away. But she remained where she was, staring at him, unable to move an inch.
“‘Get him talking about himself.’ You did that one well. I hope you weren’t too bored.”
“I can explain,” she tried, “It’s for Sally.”
“The list’s for Sally?” Jake said incredulously. “For you, I’d say. ‘The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach—fix something really delicious that he likes—like cake.’ Another one you did well.” Jake gave her no chance to speak.
Her heart sank. He was furious. And the cold control he held over that anger made it seem even stronger. She wanted to say something, but she couldn’t. Fear slammed through her. Would he listen to her? Or would he jump to conclusions? Conclusions that would be all too close to the truth?
“‘Catch flies with honey?’ Is that supposed to be me? A fly?” He slammed the journal down on the table and advanced toward her, his eyes dark and dangerous.
“It’s not what you think,” she said, mesmerized by his anger. Would he give her a chance to explain? Attempt to understand?
“I
think it is. I think you have practiced every one of the things on this damn list with me. ‘Do the unexpected’—like a kidnap picnic? ‘Wear pretty dresses?’ You’ve done that to a fare-thee-well. ‘Practice being feminine.’ Do you have to practice that, Kerry? I thought that came naturally. But then I thought everything about you lately was natural. I didn’t realize it was a part of a big plan to capture my attention. What were you after? Marriage? After all these years, have you forgotten what I said last time? That I don’t want you. I don’t love you and I sure as hell don’t plan to be a part of your stupid convoluted plans to land yourself a husband. Go back to New York. Maybe things like this work with men back there, but they sure don’t here!”
His anger seemed to shimmer in the air. Kerry held her ground; she knew Jake would never lose control no matter how irate he became. Frantically she sought the words that would quench his fury.
Crumbling the page into a tight ball, he threw it on the floor and stormed out.
“I guess this means dinner is off,” Kerry said softly, still staring straight ahead. The pain began in her heart and spread until she was almost shaking. Tears filled her eyes, but she blinked quickly to dispel them. It was no more than she deserved. And no more than she expected. He had never had a use for her. Nothing had really changed. Except for a few weeks, she’d let herself believe there might be a chance for her. He’d been attentive, loving, romantic.
And it all meant nothing.
Slowly, she reached out for the journal and carried it upstairs. Her appetite gone, she didn’t want dinner. She didn’t want anything except oblivion to the pain that gripped her. She couldn’t even read about Megan and Frederick. Was it coincidence or prophesy that told of Megan’s and Frederick’s fight right before her fight with Jake? Had the entire sequence of events been tied somehow to the past, like an endless loop that played over and over with each generation?
She didn’t care. Falling into bed, she gazed dry-eyed at the ceiling, clutching the journal to her breast. Truth be told, she’d been happier than ever these last few weeks. Without a job, unsure what she would do with her future, it hadn’t mattered. She’d been so caught up in Jake the rest had faded to insignificance.
More fool her.
She had known intellectually as soon as she’d seen him when she arrived that nothing had changed. But her heart refused to believe it. Maybe now it would.
Jake stormed across the yard. Glancing at the table set for two it was all he could do to refrain from tipping it over and sending the food and utensils sliding off onto the grass. He yanked open the screen door and stepped inside. Her scent still lingered in the air. He drew a deep breath, imprinting it forever.
“Damn!”
He’d thought things were different this time. He was supposed to be the clever hotshot attorney. Yet he’d fallen for her routine like a raw law clerk. She’d been much more sophisticated in her pursuit this time. Of course she’d had years to perfect her technique. It seemed so smooth.
Clenching his hands into hard fists, Jake paced the kitchen remembering that blasted list and how Kerry had played him like a first-class idiot. She’d been so attentive when he spoke about work. He’d thought she had been genuinely interested; he’d actually reveled in sharing his thoughts about the cases with her. Had been proud of her interest.
And it was all a farce!
He leaned on the sink and looked out the window, across to her house. He wanted to go back and yell at her, to rant and rave about the shameful way she’d deliberately enticed him. Flaunting her long legs in those dresses, making him want her like he hadn’t wanted anyone in years. Rail at her for the shameful way she captivated his interest, and his heart, when it had been nothing but a challenge to her. A game.
His heart?
“No, never that,” he said firmly. Pushing away, he went to the cabinet and found the whisky. Pouring himself a glass, he went through to his study, on the opposite side of the house from Kerry’s. He would not even glance her way accidentally. Not tonight, not ever again!
Nursing his drink, Jake gazed out the window, his mind churning with raw fury—and hot memories.
Friday morning Kerry rose early. She’d spent a miserable night. Nightmares had plagued her. She’d been running after Jake and every time he disappeared. “No need to be an expert to know what that means,” she grumbled as she stood beneath the hot shower. “How can a woman be so stupid? I wonder if it’s genetic?”
Drawing one of her new dresses from the closet, she hesitated a long moment. Then defiantly put it on. She liked wearing the dresses. Once she had a new job, she might have to resume her suits but she could please herself until then.
She ate a hasty breakfast, toast and tea. Then tackled her resumé. Writing letters to a dozen firms, she proofed everything and then went to mail them. By next week she should be hearing something. And in the meantime, she’d continue to look for a place to live. The sooner she moved away from Jake’s proximity, the better for her sanity.
After driving to the apartment complex on Rose Street later that day, she was disappointed to discover the apartment had been rented. It was the one she’d liked the best. “But, it wasn’t good enough for Jake. I should have acted on my own impulses,” she said to herself as she got back into her car.
The rest of the afternoon she spent looking at apartments. The one on Coldridge was almost as nice as the first one she’d liked. But it was nearer the train tracks and might prove to be noisy. Telling the manager she’d be in touch, she headed for West Bend.
On impulse she checked her watch, then drove to Sally’s.
“Hey,” Sally greeted her when she rang the bell.
“Doing anything tonight?” Kerry asked as she entered her cousin’s apartment. For a moment she gazed around. Maybe she should see about an apartment in this complex. It wasn’t that far to Charlotte, and she’d be close to Sally.
“Nope, what’s up? You look like you lost your best friend.”
It was unexpected. Kerry would have sworn she would never do such a thing, but at her cousin’s words, she burst into tears.
Startled, Sally crossed over to her and hugged her tightly. “Oh, Kerry, what’s wrong?”
Rubbing her eyes, trying desperately to stem the tears, Kerry sniffed and shook her head. “Delayed reaction, I guess.”
“To losing your job?” Sally patted her shoulder, looking into her tear-drenched eyes.
“I guess.” She looked for a tissue, saw a napkin on the table and used that. Taking a shaky breath she tried to smile at her cousin, but it was more than she could do. “I blew it big-time.”
“Your job?”
Kerry shook her head. “Jake.”
“Jake?” Sally sat on the arm of the sofa and looked puzzled. “I don’t get it.”
Kerry drew a deep breath and sank on the sofa. Opening her purse, she withdrew the crumbled sheet and held it out for Sally.
“Remember I told you about Megan’s advice?”
Sally nodded and reached for the paper.
“I wrote down the different suggestions to show you. I wanted you to try them to see if they really worked or if it had just been some kind of weird reaction that made Jake seem interested in me when I tried Megan’s suggestions.”
“And?” Sally scanned the list.
“Jake found the journal and the list and now he thinks I was just playing at getting him to be interested in me. Like I did when I was a teenager. He’s furious.”
Shrewdly Sally studied her cousin. “And that matters?”
Nodding her head, Kerry blotted her eyes again. “I love him, Sally. I did when I was a teenager, and I still do. I managed to build a life in New York. I was reasonably happy there. But no man ever appealed to me like Jake. And now I know why. He’s the man I love. I guess I will always love him. What a depressing thought.”
“Only if he doesn’t love you back.”
“He doesn’t. He’s always been up-front and honest about that—he has no us
e for women, except as a casual date from time to time, I guess. Why can’t I get that hammered home in my brain?”
“Sometimes I think the brain and heart never talk to one another. Don’t you think I could make better choices if I’d think things through?” her cousin said dryly. “I’m sorry, Kerry. I know you’re hurt. But honey, I really think you should have had better sense. Jake won’t ever change. And you can’t live your whole life pining for a man who doesn’t want you.”
“I know.”
Sally looked at the list again, her face slowly smiling. “Tell me more about this list. I’m intrigued.”
Kerry explained the different points as Megan had written them down. She enjoyed telling Sally about the ins and outs of Megan’s courting. “I still think they got together, I can’t believe you didn’t read the diary in detail.”
“Never had the time. When you’re finished, maybe I’ll read it through.” Thoughtfully Sally tapped her finger against the sheet. “I’ve been trying to be a nineties woman. I call a man to ask him out. Isn’t this a bit old-fashioned?”
“Maybe, but there’s a lot of truth in her notes. If you ask a man out, and he goes, you’ve become the hunter. Men like to do the hunting bit. At least when he asks you out, you know he wants it.”
“It makes me feel like a squirrel.”
Kerry shook her head. “Not really. It’s more of doing what feels comfortable and seeing what happens. Try it. Just be yourself, but rein in some of your more aggressive tendencies. I tried each one. Some without even knowing that I was doing it.”
Sally nodded thoughtfully. “Okay, Kerry. If you can do this, I can too!”
“It may not work, sure didn’t with me. But I still think her suggestions are worthwhile. And I liked doing things this way. It felt natural and fun. Try wearing dresses for a while. I find I flirt just a bit more—even with the bag boy at the grocery store. I feel I move just a bit more femininely when I walk. It gives me a great feeling.”
“Shorts and pants are so convenient.”
“Dresses are fun, and feminine. Try it for a month and see what happens.”
The Husband Campaign Page 14