He turns his head, smiling the sweetest, most genuine smile. “Yours or mine?” he asks, with a loose shrug of his shoulders.
“Yours.” I smile back. “I feel more comfortable there. I will just need to get a few things from my apartment first.”
“Sure,” he replies with a slight nod.
“Thank you for trusting me with the truth. Thank you for coming to find me.”
“I never wanted to tell anyone what happened. Like ever. But I knew I had to tell you. I couldn’t lose you. I’m just sorry you had to find out the way you did.”
“I asked Lily to leave well enough alone. But she didn’t and after everything that has happened, I’m not sure this is something I can ever forgive. It’s like she was going out of her way to cause trouble.”
Caleb allows his eyes to drift shut. “I’m so sorry, Amber.”
Leaning over, I kiss his cheek lightly, leaving my lips there a little longer than I should. But I can’t help it.
“I didn’t realize how lost I was until you found me,” he continues. “I’m not saying it’s going to be easy. I’m not an easy person to deal with, just ask Josh.” He lets out a chuckle. “I have my baggage and believe me that fucker is heavy, weighs a damn ton.” He shoots me a quick wink and I know he’s trying to lighten what is an otherwise dark and painful admission.
“You save me every day from the nightmares, Caleb. Not only did you save me physically by stopping him, but you’ve saved me every day since. You’ve held me up, given me time, pushed me when I need you to, and backed off when I needed it. Let me do the same for you.”
“You don’t get it, do you?” He sighs. “You already do. The minute you showed up I was so fixated with you. You broke the cycle of nightmares, the cycle of fear by just being here. I couldn’t think of anything but you. Yet I was so scared you would hate me for what happened in my past, that you wouldn’t be able to see me beyond the flaws and scars.” His eyes droop. His mouth is smiling but it’s forced. He’s sad and it causes an ache deep within my chest.
“Your scars and flaws are mine now, too.”
He shakes his head.
“Yes,” I say louder than before. “We’re in this together, our broken pieces fit perfectly together. We just have to be honest with each other. No more secrets, huh?”
His eyes widen. “You want me to bare all?”
“Everything. I want it all.” I smile, breathing heavily. I need to know all there is to know about him, but after what he’s already told me, it frightens the hell out of me. I also know that if we’re coming clean, I need to be honest with him about my drunken kiss with Josh. I don’t want him finding out second-hand from someone.
“Okay, me first,” I say, releasing my belt as we pull into the parking lot outside our apartments.
His face contorts, narrowing his eyes at me. “I’m not sure I like the sound of this,” he murmurs.
I hold up one hand, “Okay, just hear me out first.” I smile as he rolls his eyes. “So that night I was locked out of the apartment and ended up sleeping at your place.” I pause.
“I remember.” He nods slowly. “What about it?” he questions.
“Well, I was so wasted and had a stupid, one off, drunken kiss with Josh. And I know now that he liked me, like a lot, but there was definitely nothing in it for me,” I rush out, blabbering like an idiot. I cover my face with my hands, afraid to see how pissed off Caleb must be. “But I told him, even back then, that I was growing feelings for you, even when nothing had happened between us yet.”
“Really?” he mumbles.
“Really,” I reassure him, removing my hands from my face and reaching for his. “Ask him. I have nothing to hide. It was a mistake. We both know the score now. He’s more like a brother to me.”
He slowly pushes his hand against mine, interlinking our fingers. “If you say there was nothing in it, then I believe you.” He smiles. I turn in my seat, making my way over to him. I lift my leg over his, sitting on his lap. Wrapping my arms around his neck, his breathing speeds up and I feel his warm breath against my skin. His fingers push against my lower back, pulling my body as close as possible. He tilts his head upward, making the faintest of contact against my lips. His scent overwhelms me and I melt into him. The heady mix of masculinity mixed with sweet scented cologne, a smell I recognize whenever I’m close to him.
“Do you have any idea what you do to me? What kind of effect you have on me?” He smirks, thrusting his hips up, his erection pressing into my center.
“Believe me,” I say taking one of his hands and placing it between us, pressing on the wetness pooling between my legs. “You have the same effect on me,” I whisper. His head falls into the crook of my neck, his lips grazing my flesh. He starts to kiss, first lightly, then with a little more passion.
“I think we need to take this inside,” I breathe out, as his hand grazes back and forth between my legs, causing my whole body to react. He suddenly stops the contact, and my eyes search to find out why. The loss of his touch causes my heart to sink a little. He pushes open the car door, swinging his legs out, taking me with him. I squeal a little, surprised by his strength. I frame my arms around his neck as he scoops me up. I rest my head against the warmth of his heart, the pounding filling me with a familiar feeling. The feeling of belonging.
He stands outside the elevator, reaching to press the call button. We wait for a second, before the doors finally open and he carries me in. I can’t take my eyes off his. I feel like everything I’d come to trust, to understand, had been snatched from me earlier today. But now, now I feel stronger and more secure with him than before. Because I know. I know exactly who he is; granted, not the full story, but enough. Enough to finally understand what makes him who he is. Why he’s acted so strangely the whole time. I wiggle myself free, turning and pressing the emergency button. The elevator comes to a stop and I lift up on my toes, reaching to seal a kiss against his soft lips. His eyes widen, and I recognize that look. The look of pure want and desire. His eyes narrow, so dark that I pull back to take it in.
“What?” he asks with a smirk. The sexiest damn smirk I’ve ever laid eyes on.
I reach down, joining our hands together as one. “This. You.” I smile back widely, not quite finding the right way to describe how I feel right now. And that’s probably due to the fact that I’ve never felt this way before. I’ve never ached so badly for one man, wanting his hands on my body. Knowing how good that touch feels. His hand reaches down, grabbing a handful of my ass, pulling me roughly toward him.
“I never thought I’d have this. I’d have someone as amazing as you.” he says, emotion thick in his tone. His breath sends tingles against my cheek. I’m beyond worked up. My heart hammers in my chest and the ache between my legs only grows stronger. My face heats and he finally bends down, kissing me with everything he has. I feel it. It’s needier than before, but not aggressive. He works his tongue against mine, the taste of him divine. I cling to his every touch, kissing him back with intensity. Within a second the pace of our kiss quickens, his hand caressing my ass. I need more. I want more. I feel around, trying to locate the button on his jeans. I manage to open the snap, but he takes over, sliding them down just enough to free his straining erection. He nuzzles my neck, pushing down my pants. I kick them off before he picks me up and I wrap my legs around his waist. His cock is lined up, right at my entrance. He takes it in his hand, working it up and down my slit. A small moan escapes me, desperate to feel him inside. He steps back, pressing me against the metallic wall. With one swift thrust, he plunges in deeply. I cry out, the pleasurable pain of him filling me completely. He starts slowly, the thrust deep, and so fucking good. The way the head of his cock feels as he pulls out and re-enters me causes my head to drop back. My moans become louder and more frequent. I press against him, working in time to his thrusts, needing more. He increases the rhythm until he’s pounding relentlessly. My whole body starts to tremble, my stomach tightening in response.
<
br /> “Oh god,” I cry out. “Close, I’m so damn close,” I say breathlessly. I drop my gaze to meet his, his lip curling at the side. Beads of sweat line his forehead. The frenzy builds and our lips crash together as we kiss, deeply. I’m not sure how much longer I can hold on. Every one of his thrusts hits the sweetest spot. My desire begins to build. Closing my eyes, I try to hold on, wanting us to fall over the edge together. But it doesn’t work. I can’t help the sudden orgasm that spreads through me. The heat. The erratic pounding of my heart as I clench around his cock, still working inside me. I moan louder, my back arching away from the metal wall. Dizziness takes over me, the orgasm weakening my muscles. Caleb’s thrusts become a little more desperate as he tries to find his release.
“Fuck,” he roars, his head falling against my shoulder and his cock pulsates inside me. He pants loudly, his rhythm coming to an eventual stop. He slowly lifts his head, his eyes glazed as he leans in kissing me softly on the lips.
“I can’t believe I nearly lost you. Lost this. This connection between us.”
“I’m here,” I reassure, cupping my hand at the back of his head, kissing him. “I’m not going anywhere,” I promise before reaching down and slipping my pants back on. “I guess we should get this elevator back up and running before they send out the repair department.” He laughs slightly, nodding in acceptance. We quickly dress ourselves before I reach out to resume the short journey up. “Ready?” I ask, my hand hovering over the button.
“Sure.” He smiles, reaching out and joining our hands. He takes me by surprise, pulling me until my back is resting against his chest. His heart is beating at double speed. As he holds me, the feeling of belonging washes over me. The realization that he is the part I didn’t know I’d been missing.
We exit the elevator, making our short walk down the hall, stopping just outside my apartment. I go inside, grabbing what I need before we make our way into Caleb’s. I always get an eerie feeling, one of dread when I enter my own. The memories still flash through my mind. Caleb has been the perfect distraction, the only reason why I can cope with what happened. I swallow back the sick feeling in the pit of my stomach as I think about the abuse he suffered himself. Abuse and torture spanning years, not just one night. He bears the scars of the horrendous life he lived before.
“What’s wrong?” he asks, as I emerge from the bedroom.
“Just thinking.” I smile, but I know it’s full of sadness. Sadness I feel for him and what he’s been through.
“Well that smile says otherwise.” He sighs, his eyes darkening as he pushes his fingers through the thick of my hair, holding it at the back of my head.
“My apartment, as much as I love what you guys have done to it, well, it kind of freaks me out. I’m not sure I really like being there. I feel okay when I’m there with you, but I was thinking we could maybe look for something together. Like a different apartment complex all together.
“You can’t run from the nightmares, Am,” he whispers. “I tried that. It just doesn’t work. They’re still there.”
I slowly close my eyes. “I know.” I nod. “But every time I see that apartment, go inside, I’m full of dread and anxiety. It’s a constant reminder when all I want to do is forget.”
He narrows his eyes, nodding a little. I see this is difficult for him. This is his home.
“I’ve always thought of this place as my safe place,” he mumbles. “And yeah that sounds so fucking childish, but this is where I’ve been me for so long.”
“Let’s make our own safe place. Find somewhere that works for both of us. Maybe somewhere close to the beach. I love the beach,” I say enthusiastically, kissing him lightly on the cheek, before turning and making my way into the small kitchen.
He laughs. I spin around, facing him to see what he finds so amusing. I lift one brow, fixing my eyes on him.
“What’s so funny?”
“The beach. You want to move to the beach,” he says through his fit of laughter.
“Yeah? And?” I ask, annoyance growing as I fail to understand what is so funny.
“Do you have any idea how much those houses cost?”
“Really. Are they that expensive?” I ask, disappointment lacing my tone. I look at him and he nods, just once.
“That’s not to say one day we can’t. Right?”
“So you’d like to. One day, that is?”
“Sure.” He smiles, leaning forward on the counter opposite me. “You, me, sand, and sunset. Can’t think of a better way to spend time together. It could be amazing inspiration for my art.” He smiles widely, his eyes now lighter than before. An unexpected knock on the door interrupts us.
Caleb pushes himself backward, his upper arms flexing. I can’t help but sigh, biting my lip as I drink him in. He is so damn sexy, in a totally understated, unknowing way. And I love that. I love that he’s handsome, yet not full of himself like most guys. I look down the hall and my heart stops in my chest. I see two police officers in uniform. Caleb gestures his arm inside and they both walk in, stopping in the hall. Caleb leads them back toward me.
“They’re here to see you,” he says quietly, the officers are right behind him. I walk out from the small kitchen, clutching my hands together nervously. My anxiety rising.
“What can I do for you?” I ask, pointing toward the couch. “Please, take a seat.”
“We won’t be staying long. We just wanted to stop by and inform you of something that has changed in regards to the case against Ryan Ward.”
“W…w…what changes??” I stutter, swallowing down hard as I rest myself on the arm of the couch.
“Ryan Ward was released on bail earlier this morning.”
“Released?” I yell, my voice breaking from the strain. “Why the hell have you released him? He’s a monster. You know what he did to me.” My panic begins to rise and the nausea grows heavy in the pit of my stomach.
“Please tell me this is a fucking joke,” Caleb roars. Standing right beside me, he pulls my upper body against his.
“No, sir, it isn’t a joke,” replies the female officer. “He was offered bail during his initial hearing. Bail has just been posted…”
“By who?” I shriek. “Because I know his family doesn’t have that cash. Nor do they support him in this.”
“I’m not at liberty to reveal that sort of information, Ma’am.” She shoots me a sad smile. “But, what I can confirm is this; his bail conditions restrict him from being anywhere near you. So, if you see him, or he attempts to make contact with you, or any witnesses for that matter, you should call the police. Immediately.”
“So that’s it? He gets to roam free, live his life like he’s done no wrong, yet I have to suffer the consequences of what the fucker did to me? Huh?” I ask, my anger apparent in my tone.
“I know this isn’t what you want to hear, and I’m sorry that we can’t change that. But rest assured we will do all we can to keep you safe. We just need you to be vigilant and contact us if he does try to make any sort of contact.”
“What about the school I attend. He works there. Will he be allowed to resume his position? Will he be there at the college?” I ask, my anxiety level peaking. I start breathing erratically, and within seconds, Caleb has moved around me. Sitting on the couch, he pulls me onto his knee.
“Absolutely not. He’s not allowed to the college or your place of work. I’m not sure on the finer details of his bail conditions, but I know he’s not allowed within a certain radius of your home address either,” the male officer adds.
“Do you have any other questions, Ma’am?” the female officer asks, her eyes on me.
I can’t respond. I look at the officers. The sympathetic look on their faces only makes me feel worse. Tears stream down my face, and once again, I’m forced to think about that sick monster and what he did to me. Caleb pulls me against his chest.
“Can you advise where he’s living then? Because as far as I know, it’s not that far from here.”
; “I can’t.” The female officer shakes her head. “All I know is that he’s in temporary accommodations, far from here.”
“That’s something I guess, right?” Caleb mumbles. I look up at him, wiping my eyes, sniffling.
“If you have any further questions, here’s my number.” She steps forward, handing me a small scrap of paper with her handwritten number on it. I reach out, my hand shaking uncontrollably. Taking the paper, I drop it down on the table in front of me, immediately resting back into the comfort of Caleb’s arms.
“We’ll see ourselves out.” She smiles sadly, before turning and heading down the hall to the door. I jump at the sound of it slamming shut. My stomach aches from fear.
“I’ve been okay. I’ve felt safe knowing he couldn’t get to me. But now? Now I feel terrified. What if he comes for me, Caleb?”
“He won’t. He wouldn’t dare,” he states. His voice is low, but his tone is angry. “Don’t be scared. I’m here. I won’t ever let anything happen to you.” He strokes my hair, and I know he’s the only thing holding me up right now. The one person who is stopping me from totally falling to pieces. Just when I’d found the strength to get back to normal, it all comes crashing down on me.
“How can you be sure?” I say through sobs. “When I’m at school or work. You can’t possibly be with me all the time. I’m going to be constantly looking over my shoulder, scared he’s going to be there.”
“You can’t live in fear, Amber,” he whispers, his hand stroking the top of my head. Standing up, I wipe my eyes and look at him.
“What happened to that guy? The guy that abused you?” I ask tentatively, not even sure he will open up and give me that much information.
“He’s in prison,” he grates out. He clenches his teeth so tightly I can see the muscle in his jaw contracting.
“Have you seen him since? You know, after what happened to you?”
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