Hawk looked up and saw Ella standing above him, an angelic vision in pearls and lace if ever he’d seen one. It was one of those moments that freeze time and immortalize a glance. Ella watched his eyes widen in surprise and felt a rush of warmth washing through her limbs at the realization that he did indeed like what he saw. The initial weariness that she spied in him when he walked through the door was replaced by undeniable masculine appreciation. Feeling like Scarlett O’Hara poised so at the top of the stairs, Ella bid her strappy stiletto heels remain rooted to their spot. It would not do to tumble down the stairs and ruin the effect she had waited a lifetime to achieve.
“You look stunning,” he told her simply.
For once in her life, Ella believed him. His words brought a smile to her face that warmed their singular part of the universe. Feeling certain that losing that smile would be akin to shutting off the sun, Hawk held out his hands to her. Ella fought the urge to fly into his arms in the same unrestrained manner with which his children had greeted him. After a lifetime of anguish and loneliness, this all seemed too wonderful to be real. Twilight cast a glow upon the scene, heightened by the effect of hundreds of twinkling lights strung throughout the entire lower floor. The magnificent house seemed to Ella a fairy kingdom perfumed by the bowers of fresh flowers.
Ella stood quite still and took the view in sweet, deep breaths. She took a long moment to study Hawk’s face and found it every bit as handsome as she remembered it. Her gaze fell upon his suit pocket where she discerned a bulge the exact size and shape of a ring box. Green eyes flew open in surprise. Her breath caught in her lungs, and she momentarily forgot to breathe, necessitating the need to grab hold of the banister for support lest she pass out on the spot. She hastened to tell herself that she could be mistaken. For all she knew, he could be carrying the latest in microchips in that breast pocket. It wouldn’t do to get all excited over a mistaken assumption.
The children were oblivious to the sexual awareness in the look shared between the two adults poised so prettily at the top and the bottom of the great stairway. Another set of eyes was not, however. Hearing the front door open, Frannie had hurried into the entryway. What she saw froze the blood in her veins and gave her pause to watch a long moment in the shadows before making her presence known.
“Hawk, darling!” she said at last, breaking the magical spell with a forced smile.
Embracing her brother-in-law, Frannie kissed him on both cheeks before chiding him for arriving just “in the nick of time.” Glancing at the diamond-studded watch on her wrist, she bid him hurry and put on his tux before the first of their guests arrived.
“Children,” she said in a velvet voice that broached no discussion, “go wait on the deck. Help yourself to some canapés, but don’t make yourself sick and please don’t spill on your lovely outfits. I’ve hired someone to take our family portrait, and I don’t want you getting dirty before the night is immortalized.”
Their “Yes, ma’am,” was prompt and courteous as they hurried from the room.
“Just a minute. I’d like to have a word with you,” Frannie called as Ella started down the stairs to accompany the children. She knew full well that her duties toward the children remained the same, party or no.
Frannie waited to make sure the door to Hawk’s bedroom was closed before gliding to the top of the stairs herself. She seemed to glitter in that stunning silver-beaded dress that Ella had imagined she would wear. Slit up the side, it revealed a length of one thin, shapely leg. Her hair matched her gown in a shimmering waterfall of light, cut in a chic blunt style.
Next to her, Ella felt like a country bumpkin and suddenly she was back to that first awful junior high dance when all it took to reduce her from a princess to a toad was a couple of well-aimed slurs. She fought the urge to curtsey as Frannie ran her pale blue eyes up and down the length of her.
“My dear, I’m afraid there has been a terrible mistake.”
Ella felt the blood in her veins drop several degrees. The woman’s words might be civil, but the look in those narrowed eyes was anything but genteel.
“I’m guessing that by your charming getup that you were under the impression that you were actually expected to attend this party. I am sorry. I thought it was understood that you would be minding the children and staying out of the way as much as possible.”
“I’d be glad to do that,” Ella assured her over the sinking feeling of disappointment. The look on Hawk’s face when he saw her a moment ago would be enough to sustain her for a lifetime—with or without the dance she had so longed to share with him.
Unappeased by the promise, Frannie chose her words as carefully as a cat plucks unsuspecting birds from the air. “My dear child, I saw the way that you looked at Hawk a moment ago. That love-struck look written all over your face makes me feel terribly guilty that I didn’t confide in you sooner. You see, if I’d realized your feelings earlier, I could have possibly spared you some pain.”
“What are you talking about?” Ella asked. She had no desire to be anything other than direct. Word games were not her style any more than glittering evening gowns that cost more than comprehensive medical care for many small villages.
“I hate to break it to you this way, but you need to understand this is more than simply a housewarming party. It’s a surprise engagement party.”
Ella looked at her stupidly, and Frannie was forced to explain more precisely.
“My dear girl, Hawk and I are going to be married.”
Thirteen
“Congratulations,” Ella stammered.
The words echoed in her head as if she were hearing them from some hollow place far, far away. Some place like her heart.
So she hadn’t been wrong about that bulge in Hawk’s pocket being a ring box after all. She’d just screwed up the part about the intended recipient of that engagement ring. Ella didn’t need to berate herself for being such a silly fool to ever entertain fantasies about a man like Hawk proposing on bended knee to someone of her lowly social stature. After all, she had Frannie to drive that point home with the tip of a poisoned sword.
“I can tell by the look on your face that this comes as quite a surprise to you. Anyone can see that you’re clearly enamored of Hawk, and while I can’t say as I blame you, neither can I believe that you actually thought for even a second that anything could ever come of your brash flirtation but heartache.”
Ella bit her lip to keep from crying. Why the hell not? she wanted to demand. Why is it so inconceivable that Hawk could fall in love with me? Instead she merely nodded her head, hoping her mute agreement would be enough to make Hawk’s beautiful fiancée shut up and stop tormenting her.
“I don’t want to hurt you, Ella, really I don’t.”
For an instant her Siamese blue eyes softened just enough that Ella could almost believe her.
Frannie even had the aplomb to look sorry for what she was about to do. She took a deep breath and reminded herself that undermining one so obviously unaware of her natural beauty was part of that old adage about all being fair in love and war.
“Surely you must understand that a man like Hawk needs someone of a similar social standing to be at his side, not just raising his children, but also advancing him politically and financially. Someone who is a match for him intellectually and culturally. God knows, I better than anyone else understand how hard it will be to fill Lauren’s shoes, but let me assure you no one is better able than I to do just that—both as a mother and as a wife. Hawk and I share more than just a history together. We have a similar understanding of how the world works. As much as you’d like to believe otherwise, it is not made up of fairy godmothers and happily-ever-after endings in which one goes from rags to riches, from poverty to instant acceptance by the upper echelon. I hate to be the one to burst your bubble, Ella, but this is not some Cinderella Ranch where a lowly nanny’s fantasies come true just by wishing it were so.”
Wounded to be spoken to like some idiotic schoolg
irl with nothing more than a passing crush, Ella studied Frannie standing there as cool as the drink she held in her hand. The woman’s beauty was not marred by her ruthlessness. Ella wondered if she ought to set the record straight and let this haughty diva know that her betrothed had shared more than a longing look or two with her. Surely as his wife-to-be Frannie deserved to know of Hawk’s penchant for finger painting in the nude.
As tempting as it was to strike back in retaliation for the slurs Frannie had heaped upon her, Ella didn’t have it in her to be so cruel. As quickly at the idea entered her mind, it was offset by the realization that Frannie hadn’t so much as been on the scene before she and Hawk had consummated their passion. It wasn’t exactly like he’d been cheating on Frannie with her. Nor had Hawk ever given her any indication that he wished to advance their relationship beyond the one-time fling which she had so shamelessly initiated. He most certainly had never alluded to marriage. In fact, in avoiding any mention of his dead wife, he had given the impression that he would never marry again.
Apparently it had just taken the right woman to change his mind. Another, more beautiful woman who looked and acted like his beloved Lauren.
Clutching her hand over her shattered heart, she didn’t know what good it would do to hurt Frannie. In the world of the rich and famous, Ella supposed sexual dalliances were accepted, if not politely condoned, as part of some ritualistic game between a jaded set of men and women.
Ella flinched when Frannie laid a gentle hand upon her bowed shoulder.
“I hope you understand what an awkward position this puts us all in. Me, especially. And you, as well. Clearly Hawk appreciates you for bailing him out during his time of need, and the children are obviously quite fond of you. Still in all, I just don’t think it’s appropriate to encourage a young woman so smitten with my fiancé to remain in our employ, do you?”
Ella most certainly did not. The thought of working in Hawk’s house as his wife’s personal servant was more than Ella could bear to imagine. Not to mention how intolerable it would be to have him so near each day and not be able to touch him. Not be able to share her true feelings with him. If there was such a thing as hell on earth, Ella was sure that would have to fit the description.
Tears that she refused to allow Frannie to see clogged her throat. Unable to speak, Ella emphatically shook her head no. Indeed not only wouldn’t it be good for the newlyweds to have her underfoot, it most definitely wouldn’t be fair to her.
“Good, I’m glad we have an understanding on just why your services are no longer needed. Not that I want you to worry about money. I’ll see that you get a year’s severance pay.”
Ella couldn’t bring herself to thank the woman for what appeared on the surface to be a more than generous offer. She supposed in Frannie’s world money was used to solve every problem and salve every conscience. What a pity Ella’s heart couldn’t be so easily pieced back together with currency.
“Considering how painful this is for both of us, I think it best if your termination is effective immediately. That way you won’t have to subject yourself to the public announcement of our marriage and Hawk won’t be distracted by your…” She almost said “beauty” but caught herself. “Presence.”
Donning a most sympathetic expression Frannie asked, “Will you trust me to explain to Hawk the reasons for your leaving?”
Ella couldn’t blame her for not wanting their nanny’s mental breakdown to ruin her big moment and was, in fact, grateful not to have to face Hawk herself.
Ever again if she could help it.
“I’d appreciate that,” she managed to choke out before fleeing down the stairs and out the front door into the night.
Hawk saw but a flash of dark green floral print slipping past the valets and dodging the guests who were just beginning to arrive en mass. Recognizing the material of Ella’s dress, he called after her to see what was the matter. Rather than stopping at the sound of her name, she didn’t so much as turn her head to glance in his direction. Instead, Ella tore down the driveway, avoiding oncoming traffic in her high heels before veering off toward the woods, a sprite who left but a wisp of lace behind.
Coming up behind him, Frannie placed a restraining hand upon Hawk’s elbow. In a voice as sultry as the breeze that toyed with the silver beads of her dress, she cajoled him. “You mustn’t be rude, darling. Your guests are sure to feel slighted if you run off before you’ve so much as met some of them.”
The look on Hawk’s face left little doubt that he didn’t give a fig about social propriety at the moment. The determination in his eyes caused Frannie to expel a long-suffering sigh and simultaneously stamp one dainty foot upon the ground. “If you must know, the undependable little thing just up and gave notice that she was quitting. I’ll be glad to give you the details later, but right now I’d appreciate it if you’d act civilly to all the gracious people I’ve invited to your home on your behalf. Whether you are aware of it or not, I’ve worked damned hard to pull this party together, and I will be terribly hurt if you abandon me to chase after the hired help.”
Hawk was just about to take umbrage with the term his sister-in-law used to describe the woman he loved when the governor stepped forward to introduce himself and his wife. An informal line quickly formed behind them, and Hawk drew a polite smile over the teeth he had to strain to keep from gritting.
“We will talk later,” he informed the woman at his side.
Frannie flashed him a smile as dazzling as her designer dress and ran a hand over the jewelry box bulge in his tuxedo pocket. “I certainly hope so,” she told him, her eyes filled with hope.
As the orchestra struck its first chord, Ella was fighting her way through the underbrush. It was all too reminiscent of the last time she’d traipsed through the woods with Hawk’s children in tow. Her hair had come undone, and once again her shoes were ruined beyond repair. When a thornbush caught the lacy hem of her ankle-long skirt, Ella did not stop to save it, but rather tore onward leaving a scrap of the fancy frill behind.
Tears that she had proudly refused to let fall in Frannie’s presence freely watered a trail lighted by naught but the moon overhead. As the sound of the music from the ranch grew fainter, she paused briefly to catch her breath. Pulling the faux pearl barrette from her hair, she tossed it into the thicket as far away as she possibly could throw it.
If only her memories could be so easily disposed of!
By the time she reached her darkened cabin, Ella was a mess. Mascara ran down her face, her dress was in shreds, and her hair hung loose about her face in a mass of tangles. Once safely inside, she lit the kerosene lantern and approached Hawk’s portrait with her shattered love. Another scorned woman might have taken a knife to the painting and rent it in two like her heart, attempting to take her anger out on the image of the man who had hurt her so deeply. Standing before the portrait, Ella felt familiar waves of shame wash over her.
Why was it that she was never enough for someone to love? Memories of days gone by washed over her in a deluge of pain. Truly nothing had changed in her life since a childhood when no one wanted her beyond the services she could render. No amount of smiling agreeably and being helpful and trying her hardest to please could ever make anyone love a freckled-faced urchin whose own father hadn’t wanted to claim her. Nothing had changed since that awful junior high dance when Ella had been so determined to pry open people’s hearts with a bubbly personality and a genuine desire to make everyone feel important in his own right. No, nothing had changed—other than the names and the faces of those who looked down upon her and used her for their own personal gain.
Was it unfair to lump Hawk in that last category? Indeed Ella had given her love freely and expected nothing in return. Which is exactly what she got.
But was it what she deserved?
Ella liked to think not. She desperately wanted to hold on to the belief that any love, no matter how excruciating the toll it exacted, was better than spending a lifetime in w
hich one was too afraid to trust another human being with one’s frailties. She needed to believe that love tested one like gold under fire and, no matter the outcome, made one better for having risked while on this earth.
And so it was that, rather than wielding a knife to the portrait of her lover, Ella brushed it tenderly with the back of one hand before sinking onto her old feather bed where she sobbed herself to sleep to the accompaniment of a coyote’s lonely, lonely song.
Hawk was glad that Hissy Face had decided to accompany him on this jaunt into the neighboring wilderness. It was a long shot that the cat would actually remember its mistress’s home, but Hissy had been insistent about coming along, weaving in and out of Hawk’s legs and darn near tripping him with every step he took. It was almost as if the kitten knew that he needed her.
Having never been to Ella’s home before, Hawk very nearly missed it. Tucked into the trees, the tiny cottage was easy to overlook. It was but the faintest glimmer of a candle flame that drew him down the seldom-traveled path that led to Ella’s doorstep. Clutching a bit of lace in one hand and a flashlight in the other, Hawk could not bring himself to believe that this tumbledown shack was the magical cottage of which his children spoke in such glowing terms. He shone his flashlight over it. Surely this was just an outbuilding to house gardening tools and winter equipment in the off-seasons.
Hissy jumped up on the windowsill and proceeded to let out a long, plaintive wail. The cat’s assurance that this was familiar territory gave Hawk reason to pause before passing the cabin by altogether. The dim flickering of a light inside beckoned to him. He raised his hand to the front door and brought it down with enough force to rattle the structure.
Wyoming Cinderella (Silhouette Desire) Page 15