“So why didn’t she?” Rose asked; the picture of Zane and the donkey made her smile.
Lacy hooted from the front seat. “Because Lilly had her on a diet. That’s why!”
Lilly nodded. “Bingo! She needs to lose weight desperately but she’ll do anything for banana taffy. The sneak. Even pretend to get stuck in the mud. The only reason I gave it to her yesterday was because I didn’t want to embarrass poor Zane. I mean the man was really, reallly working hard to save her! How could I let him know she was hoodwinking him?”
Rose got tickled. She couldn’t help it. Poor Zane. “I think you were right. He probably doesn’t need to know the truth.”
Their hoots of laughter trailed out behind them as Lacy guided the big car around a curve. Rose felt light-hearted and happy suddenly. And for the rest of the drive her mind stayed dangerously on Zane.
Chapter Eighteen
The hospital waiting room was packed.
Rose, along with half of Mule Hollow, waited for the doctor to come and give them good news about Dottie and Brady’s little baby.
“Esther Mae, I don’t think we need to let you near the baby when she’s born. She might have nightmares when she gets a whiff of the ten gallons of gardenia perfume you’re shellacked in!”
Esther Mae’s eyes widened. “I don’t smell anything. I only put on three squirts.”
“Three squirts!” Norma Sue barked. “That stuff is so nasty a little dab’ll kill ya.”
“Norma Sue, shame on you,” Rose said, making Norma Sue chuckle. “You do not smell, Esther Mae. The baby is going to love you.”
Norma Sue was about to tease her buddy more, but the doctor came walking through the double doors and she zeroed in on him instead. “So how is our Dottie?” she demanded. “And our baby?”
“I’m pleased to report that Dottie just gave birth to a seven-pound twelve-ounce baby girl. Both mother and baby are doing well.”
A cheer went up.
“And the daddy,” Lacy called over the roar. “How’s he holding up?”
“He’s doing fine, too. At the moment he’s holding his baby and getting to know her.”
After explaining that they would be able to view the baby in a few minutes down at the baby room, he left them all.
Rose sank happily into her chair as the group charged toward the end of the hall to wait next to the glass for the baby to appear.
Lacy plopped down beside her. “Our first baby girl. What do you think?”
“I’m thrilled.”
“Me, too. But I look thrilled, don’t you think?” She gave an extreme grin.
Rose choked with laughter. “Yes, you look thrilled. And a bit crazy.”
“Just the way it should be. You, on the other hand, look a million miles away. And miserable to be there.”
Rose slid her friend a long-suffering look. “Why do you have to be so observant?”
“Because God made me that way. And since I do feel a little responsible for helping to set you up the other night I have to ask if some of this might have to do with a certain handsome deputy?”
Rose moaned. “You kill me. And, yes, you should be very ashamed of your part in that little setup you worked out the other night.”
“That didn’t answer my question at all.” Lacy tapped her forehead. “Where are you right now?”
“Oh, if you must know I’m going out to Zane’s this evening.”
“Really. This is promising.”
“No. I’m just going to look.”
“Looking is good. Talking is better. But looking is a start. I love to look at Clint. Sometimes I just sit across from him and I just can’t believe he’s mine.”
“Lacy! I’m going to look at his house for crying out loud.”
“Seriously, Rose. Do you even know how to have a good time? I’m not joking. You do remember what that is like, don’t you?”
Rose wasn’t so sure if she did. She chose to ignore the question. “I’m only going because I’m trying to be amicable for Max’s sake.”
“Oh, brother. Are we back there so soon? We talked about this the other night. You need to do something for your sake.”
“If I did something for my sake I’d stay away from Zane.”
“I can’t believe you,” Lacy said, springing from the chair as if it were Esther Mae’s mini exercise trampo-line. “I’m beginning to think you are a hopeless case.”
“Gee, thanks.”
“Seriously. If you aren’t going to go out with Zane then you need to start dating someone. Anyone.”
Rose stood up, deciding this conversation needed to die a quick death. “Come on. Let’s go see the baby.” Esther Mae practically had her nose plastered to the glass, which was a good indication that the baby had just been wheeled out for viewing.
Lacy fell into step beside her. “On second thought, you shouldn’t go out with anyone else. You should marry Zane and have another child.”
“Lacy!”
“Rose!” Lacy echoed her, chuckled. “I’m just teasing you. But really go out there tonight and make me proud.”
Rose groaned. “What I’m going to do is go look at this beautiful baby.”
“Me, too. Then I’m going to drive you home so you can get ready for that great date.”
“This is not a date,” Rose reminded herself that afternoon as she drove toward Zane’s. Her nerves were tingling they were so frazzled. She clearly understood too many close encounters with Zane would weaken her resolve. She’d been thinking about that all day.
Zane didn’t realize that she didn’t need to come out and look at his new home. She knew it well. It was a lovely mid-size ranch with beautiful old oaks spread out over the front pastures. It was the type of landscape that inspired a person to want to walk through the open fields between the trees. Especially in early April when the bluebonnets dotted the landscape like a deep blue carpet. Which was the way it looked the first time she’d come and looked at it last year.
The way it had looked the day she’d fallen in love with it.
Today, since it was practically May, the pasture was a vibrant yellow from the brown-eyed Susans that blanketed the land. Turning onto the dirt drive that was actually a private dirt road to the house, she remembered the day she’d driven back here for the first time. She’d let herself dream that she could afford to buy such a place for herself and Max. Of course she’d never told anyone. Being a realist, she had known with her meager resources it was an impossible dream.
But still, she’d come to look…often.
Like Max said, it had a cactus patch that spread for acres and acres. It was the type of natural resource that would have enabled her to stretch her business straight from the start. But it was only a dream and she’d been more than thrilled to be blessed to buy the property where they lived now. The land had been cheap and small but ideally perfect for starting her business. For giving her and Max a home within the realms of their budget. She loved her home.
Still, if she’d had the money, this would have been her true dream home. It was a secret that would go to the grave with her. And an odd irony that Zane would move here and buy it.
Of course he would though. It was the prettiest property in four counties, even if a person didn’t find the prickly pear patch an extra-special feature.
The house came into view as she topped a slight hill. Just the sight of it sent a warm happy feeling through her. It was just a sprawling ranch, white with bold black shutters and a detached garage that was connected to the house with a covered patio. She knew from walking around the place and peeking in the windows that there was a flagstone patio on the back with a massive stone grill built to one side. It was a very masculine home on the interior. But she loved the simple bold lines of it and the larger scale of all things. It fit the landscape. It looked like it fit Zane.
He’d bought two pots of red geraniums at some point and they sat beside the sidewalk near the front door. A welcome splash of color against the white backd
rop.
The house was actually perfect for Zane. The fact that she kept harping on that detail grated on her already frazzled nerves as she rang the doorbell.
There was no answer, so she rang it again and, after waiting a few more minutes, she walked around to the backyard.
Several yards, practically a football field’s distance from the house, there was a large metal barn. She headed that way.
“Max,” she called. She was halfway there when she saw Zane’s truck coming from the road and behind him driving an all-terrain utility vehicle was Max. Rose’s first inclination was to get angry. How dare Zane let Max drive one of those four-wheeler type vehicles!
The minute he got out of the truck she was beside him.
“What do you mean letting him drive that?”
Zane looked like she’d lost her marbles. “He’s fourteen, Rose. It’s a ranch vehicle.”
“But—”
Max laughed as he barreled off the seat. “Mom, chill. It’s as safe as a golf cart.”
She wanted to say more, but realized that it was the truth. She was just being overprotective or a little territorial where Max was concerned. It was clearly something she was going to have to get over.
The fact that Max looked happy thrilled her.
“Look what I’ve got in the back,” Max said, waving her to the small bed of the vehicle. It was no more than about three feet by three feet, maybe four, but it was absolutely packed with prickly pears.
“You picked all of that today?”
“Yes, ma’am. And there’s tons more where those came from! We’re going to have plenty of jelly juice. All you have to do is sell it. I’m going to be working like a dog over the next few weeks picking and torching these babies and the rest out there waiting to be picked.”
He slid onto the bench seat of the little truck and grabbed the steering wheel. “C’mon,” he said, and slapped the seat beside him. “You have to see this.”
Zane doffed his hat. “After you.”
Rose slid onto the seat beside Max and scooted closer to him when Zane sat down on the other side of her.
“Hit the road, kiddo,” he said, looking past her to Max.
“Sounds like a plan,” Max called and hit the gas—the kid had ridden in Lacy’s car far too many times it seemed.
Rose watched silently as he maneuvered the tiny work truck down the lane. She concentrated on watching him and not the fact that her entire right side was pressed against Zane’s left side. He needed more room, naturally, and so he’d automatically put his arm across the back of the seat. His hand dangled off the back of the seat between her shoulder and Max, therefore basically placing her in his relaxed embrace. That was hard to ignore.
“I really do love the place,” she said, glancing up at him. The wind was whipping all around them in the open-air vehicle and she was pretty certain she looked a sight. His hair was short and since he had on his hat he looked just as handsome as always. Life just wasn’t fair sometimes.
“I’m really glad you do. I wouldn’t have bought it if I felt you wouldn’t like it.”
His admission caught her off guard and the light that warmed his eyes told her he knew it.
She looked away, trying not to put too much meaning on his admission. His hand brushed her arm, sending a thrill of unwanted awareness through her. Her gaze dropped to his hand…only he wasn’t caressing her arm but had simply touched her arm to draw her attention to what he was pointing to.
Embarrassed at her assumption, she looked at the pasture he was pointing at and told herself she would stop jumping to conclusions as they drove through an open gate, and crossed the pasture to where the cactus spread out before them.
“Isn’t it amazing, Mom?”
She nodded, awed by the sight of the cactus just like she’d been all the other times she’d come to look.
“Max gave me a history lesson about all of this.”
“He’s done his homework,” she said. “It’s amazing to think areas like this could stretch for such long distances and also have been so important to our heritage. Not only for sustaining the Indians’ lives with food but also socially and economically.”
Zane glanced at her. “I like the way it looks, too. There is just something beautiful about those ugly purple tunas hanging off them.”
Max giggled. Giggled.
Rose laughed at her son’s reaction to Zane’s bizarre statement and at the statement itself. It just seemed odd coming from him. But as they all three sat together on the seat of the little truck and stared out across the rolling hills covered in cactus she couldn’t help but wonder if he’d made the statement because he understood. Understood the ugly purple fruit symbolized so much more to her than just a paycheck. Could he know working with the prickly pear symbolized taking all the ugly parts of her life and turning them into something beautiful? No, no one would understand that but her.
“Let’s head back, Max,” he said after a minute and to Rose he said, “We thought we’d grill some burgers on the pit.”
“But,” she started to protest, feeling vulnerable. This was not a date. She’d only come here to look at the house and then she and Max would go home. Dinner wasn’t in the bargain.
“Mom,” Max said. “Don’t say no. We have to celebrate Dad getting his new place. It’s only right.”
She counted to ten, knowing she was being ganged up on, but she couldn’t take this from Max. “Burgers sound great,” she said, and folded her hands in her lap as she prepared herself for what waited for her back at the house.
A very hard time, that’s what it was.
She wondered if God was getting a kick out of torturing her…because it sure seemed like it to her.
Zane Cantrell was not playing fair.
Rose fumed silently as she drove home later that evening. He was letting her weakness for seeing Max happy to his advantage.
Beside her Max was quiet as he stared out the window into the darkness. He was probably sitting there basking in the wonderful evening they’d just had. Oh, and it had been wonderful.
The perfect cozy family night of burgers on the grill. Great conversation sitting at the outdoor table followed by a little stargazing as a family unit. Oh, the man was devious.
And charming and completely relentless in the fact that he was the perfect gentleman. He never made advances, never tried to kiss her…not since that day at her house had he tried to kiss her. He hadn’t even made remarks that insinuated that he wanted to. But just the same, she had his number.
Zane had figured out her weakness and he was hitting her with everything he had.
“Mom,” Max said, turning in his seat to look straight at her. “I can’t kid you. I want that.”
Ha! He didn’t have to elaborate; she knew exactly what “that” was. You want it, too. She clamped a lid on that thought.
“But I want you to know that I’m okay with the way things are.”
He nodded to reassure her as her startled gaze riveted to him. It didn’t as she planted her wary gaze back on the road.
“Zane talked to me and helped me see that I need to back off with the matchmaking thing.”
She inhaled sharply. “Do you mean that?”
“Yes, ma’am. Just, can we not get all territorial about it? I mean. Like tonight. Sometimes it’s just nice to have dinner with both of you or maybe lunch sometimes. I mean I won’t push for y’all to be a couple if y’all can just give me that sometimes.”
Rose turned the car into their driveway. Was this a ploy? This idea worried her far more than his blatant attempt at matchmaking. “Are you being up front about this? Or is this another plan?”
“No plan. I promise. I just really enjoyed being like a family tonight. And the other night when Zane came over and we all looked at pictures and stuff. I like it. You have to believe me. I’m not going to lie and say I don’t wish something more would come of it, but that’s between the two of you.” Max looked vulnerable even though he was trying
not to.
“Sure. Fair enough then,” Rose said. Forcing her lips to lift, she pressed for sincere.
“Thanks, Mom. I get it now, I think. It’s like the posse told me in the beginning when I begged them to help me. If the love’s not there then I don’t want y’all together in the first place. It would only make y’all miserable in the end and, Mom…” He hit sincere with one look, no force employed. “All I ever wanted was for you to be happy. You believe that, don’t you?”
This time she smiled and her depth of sincerity matched his. “Yes, honey. I believe that with all my heart.”
He reached across the car and hugged her, then hopped out and jogged inside.
Rose took a deep breath and held it for a few seconds before expelling it slowly, thoughtfully.
If the love’s not there then I don’t want y’all together in the first place. It would only make y’all miserable in the end.
But what if the love was there? What if the love was there but her fear was holding her back?
Rose leaned her head back and prayed for some guidance. This turmoil was horrible. The day Zane had reappeared in her life she’d been more at peace than she’d ever been in her life. She’d been on the brink of something new and life changing. She’d known what she wanted and where she wanted to go. And then Zane had shown up and shattered all that peace by reminding her of the dream she’d forced herself to forget…the dream, the heart’s desire that had hurt too much to continue dreaming about.
There were all kinds of excuses she’d used over the past few weeks about why she couldn’t let herself…admit, or give in to that love.
She walked toward the house and turned everything upside down in her head, in her heart…What did she want?
What did she, the independent woman that she needed to be, really want?
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