By the time I parked my car in the parking garage, I was trembling and almost dropped my keys when I got out of the vehicle. I couldn't even speak as I pulled her out of the passenger seat, her scent overwhelming me. I didn't dare to kiss her yet. I feared that once I started I wouldn't stop until she was naked and under me.
"You were kind of quiet tonight," she said as she walked next to me toward the elevator, our fingers twined together. I was so hyper-aware of her body's proximity to mine that I almost missed her speaking. It was true. I was quiet tonight. From the moment that I looked at her tonight, I'd been trying to hold on to my control, and it took nearly all of my attention. I didn't want to go to Sydney and Jensen's place anymore. It had taken everything I had in me not to pick her up and carry her to her room the second she opened her door. I wanted to pull her clothes off and run my lips and tongue over her entire body. I wanted to taste her and bite her and fuck her.
I didn't answer her until we were waiting for the elevator to open. I pushed her back against the wall, holding her there with my body as I whispered in her ear. "I missed you and I needed you so badly tonight that I could barely follow the conversation, let alone speak." I brushed my fingertips down the side of her silky soft cheek. My lips hovered over hers by mere millimeters as I breathed her in.
Baba's words suddenly popped unbidden into my head. "Vona vashe povitrya?" she asked me on Sunday. She had been referring to the phrase ty moe povitrya, which meant; you are my air, in Ukrainian. It was something said between lovers and Baba had once told me that her husband, my grandfather, had always said that to her. It took on new meaning as I looked at Natalie, panting for air and feeling my chest constrict as I fought the urge to kiss her, afraid I'd lose control. I thought staying away from her for a few days would make this easier, but I had only succeeded in making my need for her worse.
"Please, David," she pleaded, her eyes just as lost and desperate as I felt inside right now. "Please kiss me."
I couldn't deny her. I couldn't deny her anything really. I pushed my lips against hers with a low groan, her taste filling up a part of me that was empty and alone. She parted her lips immediately, inviting my tongue inside to explore her mouth. I got carried away, thrusting my hips against hers and moaning with need, my hands gliding all over her body. Luckily, the elevator doors opened before I started pulling at her clothes to get to her bare skin.
I pulled her into the elevator with me, our lips still feasting on each other. I somehow managed to hit the button for the right floor before I gave myself over to my desire again. I slid my hands up under her sweater, the skin of her back warm and supple under my palms. By the time the elevator doors opened again, I had my hands on her breasts, pinching her nipples through the thin lace of her bra and swallowing down her whimpers and moans.
I grabbed her hand and dragged her down the hall to her apartment, taking her keys from her and hastily unlocking her door then slamming it shut again once we were inside. I took her purse from her limp fingers and threw it on the table then buried the fingers of both my hands into her hair, gripping so tight she gasped in surprise. I plastered my lips onto hers again, ravaging her mouth with mine, feeling like I was trying to climb inside her. She wrapped her hands around my neck, her nails digging in with a sharp bite of blissful pain. I grabbed her arms and pushed her backward roughly until she hit the wall next to her bedroom door. I met her eyes, checking to see if this was okay. I was getting really rough, and I didn't want to scare her, but her eyes were fearless and dark, filled with a deep lust I had never seen from her before.
I was all over her again, my hands and mouth on every part of her that I could get to, ripping at her clothes and nipping at her soft skin. I managed to get her sweater off and raised her arms above her head with one hand, holding them there as I latched on to her neck, sucking and biting and growling like an animal. I was done holding back, couldn't do it anymore as this blaze of hot lust swept through and overtook me. I grabbed her thighs and hefted her up until she wrapped her legs around my waist. I ground my hips into her, pushing her back into the wall and rubbing my denim covered erection hard against her pelvis. She whimpered, and her cries spurred me on as I sank my teeth into her right breast, pulling a gasping cry from her lips.
Natalie clawed desperately at my shirt as I pulled away from the wall and carried her through the open door into her room. I tossed her down on the bed then watched her as I pulled my shirt off over my head and let it fall where it may. Her eyes were hooded and unfocused as she stared at my upper body with lust in her eyes. I let out a deep guttural growl and rushed to her, climbing on top of her and pulling the rest of her clothes from her body, tearing her lace panties in the process. I slipped my hand between her legs, gliding my fingers through her soaking wet folds. She moaned at my touch, lifting her hips and silently begging for more. I thrust two digits into her pussy roughly, watching her eyes roll back in her head and enjoying the feel of her nails digging into my biceps.
I sucked her right nipple into my mouth, grazing my teeth across the tight nub as I thrust my fingers in and out of her hard and fast until she fisted her hands into the sheets. I pressed deep inside her and crooked my fingers, finding her G-spot, then rubbed it aggressively until an orgasm blasted through her. I felt her insides clamp down hard and a sudden burst of wetness on my hand. I crawled off of the side of the bed onto my knees and yanked her by the hips to the edge of the mattress. I pushed her knees up to her chest and buried my face in her pussy, lapping up her release with a groan while I pinned her to the bed with my hands on her thighs. Her whole body trembled and quaked against me. The keening escaping her mouth didn't even sound human. I shoved two fingers into her again, wiggling them around inside her then captured her clit between my teeth. I began sucking, in earnest, and the keening sound turned into a screaming wail. Her back arched up and her hands flailed about, eventually landing on my head and pulling on my hair as she came so hard I feared she'd break my fingers and rip my hair out by the roots.
I rose and hovered over her as she writhed and clawed at my chest, mindless with need. "Be still," I commanded harshly. I raised my hand and slapped her pussy hard right on her clit. I watched her reaction. Her eyes flew open, and her hips bucked off the bed. She focused on my face, her expression shocked and wild with arousal. "Did you like that, Natalie?" I asked in a rough gravelly voice.
"Yes!" she wailed.
"Is that going to make you come, sweetheart?" I asked as I rubbed her clit gently for a moment.
"Yes, yes, yes!" she shouted. "Oh, fuck yes! Do it again!"
I lifted my hand and brought it down again, the sharp slapping sound making me shiver. I did it again and again, then on the fourth time her climax ignited. She screamed as her hands flailed around for something to hold onto, her body arching up so high off the bed it almost looked like a seizure. She grabbed one of my hands and gripped me so tight it hurt, but I didn't care. Her eyes were crazed as she looked at me like I was the only thing keeping her tethered to the here and now.
I was already kissing her when she came back down. "How did...? Why did...?" she forced out between my kisses, sounding confused and looking a little disturbed.
"Shh, sweetheart," I reassured her as I caressed her cheek. "It's just simple stimulation, and you like some pain with your pleasure like I do, so it works for you. It doesn't mean anything is wrong with you. In fact, I think it's damn hot." I smiled at her wickedly and after a moment, she smiled and twisted her fingers in my hair, pulling my lips down to hers again. That was all it took to get us back into the moment, and I was done with foreplay. I wanted to take what I wanted now. I stood and took off the rest of my clothes in a rush, then moved her further up the bed and followed until I hovered over her body.
"I'm going to fuck you now," I growled out into her ear as I shoved her legs apart with one knee and settled my hips against hers, my erection pressed between us. "I want to feel your nails in my back. I want you to mark me."
I lined my cock up with her soaking wet pussy and pushed myself all the way into her in one thrust, feeling the walls inside her quivering around me. She sank her nails into my back as she gasped from the sudden invasion. The sharp pain made me growl and push into her deeper. She came hard and fast, digging her nails into my skin again as her body struggled to contain the pleasure. She screamed out my name in a long wailing cry that echoed through her apartment, and I hoped to God the walls weren't thin or the whole floor would hear her.
I started fucking her with a hard twist of my hips, hitting the same spot inside her repeatedly. She loved it, and her voice rose into yet another scream. I put my hand over her mouth to stifle it, but a dark part of me did it for an entirely different reason. I turned her head and clamped my teeth into the side of her neck. The sounds of her muffled screams did unbelievable things to me, sending me into a frenzy of need as I thrust harder and harder into her, worrying and sucking at the soft skin of her neck.
She came so hard that she bit my hand, her teeth digging into my palm and her nails likely leaving long furrows down my back. The pain made me fly apart, arching my back and bellowing out with the pleasure and the pain as my body emptied itself into this incredible woman. It was mind blowing, and I'd never felt anything like it. When I came back down I felt whole and centered.
"Ya bachu tse, chomu ty ne mozhesh?" Baba asked me. "I can see it, why can't you?" She was right. I just couldn't admit it at the time. I felt overwhelmed by our connection, and before I could stop myself; I started whispering into Natalie's ear as I pulled her limp body into my arms.
"Ty moe povitrya, Natalie. Ty moe povitrya."
You are my air, Natalie. You are my air.
I was grateful she was so lost in her own release that she didn't hear me. I held her tightly, wondering how I could feel so terrified and happy at the same time. I didn't understand it, but I decided that I wasn't going to let this fear dictate my life anymore. I was going to try to be happy again, and Natalie was going to help me get there.
**********
"Damn!" Ben blurted out as I died for the umpteenth time. "You suck tonight. What the hell's up with you?" It was Friday night, and we had been playing Ben's new fighting game with pizza and beer.
"I'm just really tired." I looked over to where he was sitting next to me on the other side of my couch, a game controller in his hands and his feet propped up on the coffee table. What I didn't tell him was that I was tired because I'd spent the last two nights at Natalie's apartment, and we'd had more sex then sleep. I set my controller on the coffee table and picked up the bottle of beer next to it. I took a long drink and put it back down hoping he wouldn't pry any further.
"Are you sure that's all that's going on?" Ben asked suspiciously as he grabbed his own beer to take a sip. "You seem kind of distracted."
Distracted was an understatement. I had been so absentminded at work that I had started getting worried looks from my co-workers. Especially for the previous two days, since I was sleep deprived as well. I lost track of how many times I had woken up with Natalie in my arms the last two nights and had to have her again. I could see how tired she was when I left her apartment this morning, and I had decided to sleep at home alone tonight so we could both get some sleep. I had a feeling that I was going to end up awake all night pining for her, but maybe she could get some rest, though a part of me wanted her to lose a little sleep missing me like I missed her.
"I've been seeing somebody," I confessed without looking at Ben. The silence stretched on for so long that I glanced over at him. He was staring at me with a shocked expression.
"Like, dating somebody or just fucking them?"
"Both, actually," I admitted reluctantly, worried about his reaction. Ben was divorced and had sworn off relationships since his wife cheated on him, and his marriage fell apart a few months before my broken engagement to Paige. He'd been burned just as badly as I had and until Natalie came along I figured we'd both be bachelors for the rest of our lives. I imagined he wasn't very pleased with my revelation tonight.
"What's her name?" he asked. His curiosity surprised me.
"Natalie."
"Is she nice?" he asked quietly, his face softening in a way that I didn't expect.
"She is," I said with a soft smile. "I really like her."
He smirked at me and shook his head. "I'm happy for you, man. I hope it works out for you this time."
"You're not angry?" I asked, feeling confused about his positive reaction.
"Why would I be angry?" he asked curiously. "It's not like we formed a He-man Woman Hater's Club or anything." I stared at him meaningfully and watched his eyes widen in sudden realization. "Shit, we did, didn't we?"
"Yeah." I nodded as I smiled at him. "It was a good run though."
"Who are you kidding, David?" Ben said in an incredulous tone. "You haven't been having a good time at all. This bachelor stuff was never your thing."
"Well, it's good to see I was only fooling myself with my denial," I said sarcastically.
"Sorry to burst your bubble, man," Ben said with a shrug and an apologetic expression.
For a long time, I had been trying to fool everyone else into thinking I was content and doing fine. It had been easy while I was in the Ukraine. I could fake my way through a phone conversation or a video chat, but once I came home the only person that was still dumb enough to believe me had been myself. I looked back at all the people I had tried to help at work for the last year and a half, and felt like a fraud. How many times had I insisted they be honest with themselves when I had been deluded and in denial of how unhappy I really was? I knew I shouldn't hold myself to a higher standard then my patients, but I should have known better.
I watched Ben drink the last swallow of his beer and set it down. "I've got to get going, man," he announced. "It's my weekend with the kids. I have to pick them up early tomorrow." Ben had a four-year-old daughter, and a two-year-old son whom he adored. They were the only good things to come out of his marriage to Veronica.
"Thanks for coming over and kicking my ass." I stood to walk him out. I was disappointed that he was leaving. Once I was alone I wouldn't have anything to think about but Natalie.
"I'm happy to do it anytime you like," he said as I trailed him to the front door.
"I'll talk to you on Monday." I watched him leave then closed the door, leaning back against it with a sigh as I looked around my living room. It was barely ten o'clock, and I supposed I could just go to bed, but I was feeling restless and didn't think I was going to be able to sleep right now.
I went back over to the couch and sat down. I picked up my phone and stared at it in my hand. I wanted to call Natalie, but I didn't want to come on too strong. I didn't want to bother her if she had plans tonight, but this longing inside me wouldn't shut up. I needed to hear her voice so I called her anyway.
"Hi, David." Her voice gave me the shivers as I thought about the noises she made during sex.
"Hi, sweetheart," I replied, my voice sounding breathy. I could feel my body reacting to her already, and she had only said two words. "I hope I'm not bothering you, but I wanted to hear your voice."
"Well, George and I were really busy watching a movie, so he's kind of bothered, but I'm glad you called," she said happily. "I miss you," she added in a whisper.
I closed my eyes and sighed, relieved that she was missing me. "I can't stop thinking about you," I told her, feeling pathetic and needy, and hoping I didn't freak her out as I said it.
"Me too." Her voice sounded just as needy as mine, and it filled me with a rush of pleasure.
"I keep thinking about your skin and how soft it feels against mine," I whispered. "I want to touch you and hold you."
"Oh, David."
"I want to kiss you all over and go down on you, Natalie." I closed my eyes and pictured her nude body draped across my bed. "You taste so good."
"You always make me feel so good, David," she replied in a rough voice. "I wish you wer
e here with me. Maybe you could come over right now?"
I sighed deeply with regret. "Sweetheart, I kept you awake most of the last two nights. You need to get some sleep."
"We don't have to have sex," she said. "You could just hold me while we sleep."
"Natalie, I don't have that kind of self-control with you. If I'm in bed with you, I'm going to have sex with you and probably all night again."
"I don't care." She sounded petulant, and it made me smile.
"I do, sweetheart," I told her with a snort of amusement. "You need to sleep tonight, okay?" There was a long silence, and I could picture her pouting. "Do you want to spend the weekend at my place? You could come over in the morning. We could go for a run then spend the day together before your mother's dinner. I can make you breakfast Sunday morning too. Would that make you happy?"
"I guess," she agreed grudgingly, "but I'm not getting up at the ass crack of dawn with you, tomorrow or Sunday."
"I don't expect you too, sweetheart." I laughed. "Not everybody's cut out to get up at 5 A.M."
"That's because it's the middle of the damn night."
"You didn't mind being woken up at five this morning with my face between your thighs," I added in a sensual tone.
"That was an exception," she argued. "Your tongue is magic."
"Magic?" I asked her in smug amusement.
"Yes," she continued. "You know what it does to me, and you used it against me. I was helpless to resist."
"Helpless, huh?"
"Yup, you totally took advantage of me."
"That's odd," I replied. "I thought when you fisted the sheets and screamed my name, that you liked it."
"Nope, I didn't like it at all," she said matter-of-factly.
"Really," I growled out in annoyed disbelief.
"I loved it, actually," she breathed out seductively.
"You're such a bad girl," I told her darkly. "I'm going to punish you for messing with me."
You Are My Air: Breathless Book 1 Page 17