Maybe I’m Amazed
Angel lay awake in the darkness as Alex slept, pulled closely against his body, a sheer layer of sweat still on their skin. She really was sore now, and he was finally exhausted. They were both always so hungry for each other; it was exhilarating and still surreal. This need to be close, to have his hands exploring her body and his mouth on hers, was overwhelming.
She was anxious just to touch him or talk to him, and in some ways, it was debilitating, just as she’d feared it would be. The first time he’d touched her, she’d known how it would end. But it felt so damned good. Just looking at him could steal her breath or choke her up. She might as well enjoy it because she couldn’t protect her heart anymore. If it ended, it would fucking hurt——like nothing she would experience before or after him—but not to experience the splintering, intoxicating ecstasy that was this man would be nothing short of tragic.
Her eyes widened in wonder at the evening’s events. Once Alex laid her down, they hadn’t left the bed. Time passed as he languidly explored her body with his hands and mouth; she wasn’t sure how many hours and didn’t care that she had to get up early for work. She didn’t want to lose a precious second of the night with him. They’d made love a few times; the spaces in between were filled with gentle touches, sighs, and soft conversation so deep they’d forgotten to eat. She inhaled deeply, the scent of his skin overpowering the faintness of his cologne, now a mere remnant after the shower. Her stomach rumbled loudly.
Alex’s arms were tight around her, her back plastered to his chest, her bottom firmly against his groin, and a big hand cupped one of her breasts. Even in the throes of sleep, he was possessive. It was sheer bliss. She didn’t know why she let that scare her earlier because now it just felt amazing and safe, like nothing could hurt either one of them as long as they were together.
Her fingers traced up and down his forearm, the muscles strong beneath the soft, downy hair. She could feel the tiny pricks of his whiskers poking into her shoulder. The skin of her chin would be red from the hours and hours of kissing him with his five o’clock scruff, but it had been so delicious, she didn’t notice the pain. The kisses were always so perfect, whether they were in passionate frenzy or slow, deep sucking. A shiver ran through her at the thought, even though heat from his body infused and merged with hers in a fine sheen of shared perspiration. She knew she’d probably find red scratches on the inside of her thighs and stirred at the memory. His insatiable need for her made her just as wanton and abandoned. She felt sexier than she ever had in her life.
Alex was incredible, and as she lay in the quiet contemplation, enshrouded by the night and his strong arms, Angel relived every amazing night with him. Each time he touched her, she could do nothing to resist, instantly melting into a puddle, even as she tried to take control. She was still stunned by the force of nature that was Alexander Avery; he commanded every room he walked into and every woman who wanted him. And as Angel had teased him before, that would be every one of them with a vagina, and some without, she acknowledged with a low laugh.
Angel’s air of confidence and the way she carried herself now was learned but had become second nature. She knew she was attractive to the opposite sex, but she was still shocked that Alex would want her with such voracity. It turned her on immensely. Before him, she wouldn’t have wanted a man to be so dominant, but with Alex, it was who he was, and it felt right somehow. She knew she could still be herself, push back on him, and he’d welcome it. Angel smiled into the darkness.
The fighting was as much a turn on as the touching, and she knew he loved it, too. He might take from her, but only what she shared willingly… and she sensed it meant more to him that way. Taking was easy for him, but he’d proven that night he made her choose he wanted her to want and to want to give. And he did; Alex made her want to give everything she had in her to give, and he’d proven again and again he would give in equal measure. Maybe even more.
“What are you thinking about?” Alex’s groggy voice murmured softly in her ear, his hot breath washing over her shoulder. His arms tightened, his lips finding purchase on her shoulder in a series of soft, open mouth kisses that dragged along her skin. She shivered in his arms, her body reacting as always.
“You.” She wanted to know about the others. She knew about Whitney and his emotional detachment from her. But she came off as a bitch, and it was no wonder Alex wouldn’t fall in love with her. Were there others he was like this with?
“Alex…” Angel began. “Being with you is incredible.”
His embrace tightened and breath rushed across her neck as he bent to gently kiss and suckle the sensitive skin. “Mmmm… I agree,” he whispered. “Amazing.”
This was so perfect; she didn’t want to ruin it by asking directly. She knew he’d be pissed if she wasn’t careful. “For me, it’s—”
“It’s what?” He probed softly, still continuing his sensual assault on her neck and shoulder, brushing his nose along the cord of her neck before resuming the soft sucking along it.
“It’s never been like this with anyone else.”
He paused. “It better not have been.” He’d considered her relationship with Kyle many times, and he’d wondered about it, but it was unlike him to probe his women about their pasts. It never mattered before, and he’d never once needed to know. Before this.
When she didn’t respond, he continued gently. “I’ve thought about it to. I hate picturing anyone else being with you like this.”
Angel closed her eyes, and her heart swelled at his words. She inhaled deeply enough for Alex to feel her body expand in his arms before she shook her head twice. “Yet, it’s hard not to.”
“Yes. I suppose it’s inevitable to wonder when you care about someone. It’s human.”
“Maybe you should do my job.”
“Okay.” He huffed softly. “Why aren’t you sleeping yet?”
After a beat, Angel answered softly, knowing it was an admission. “I’m scared to sleep.”
Alex paused, resting his chin on her shoulder, considering how to comfort her and ease her fears about that bastard, Swanson. “Mmm. I’m sorry.”
“For what?” Angel was surprised by the apology. “For telling Cole to deliver me to your house without talking to me first?” she teased.
Alex ignored her amusement, thinking she was brushing off her fear. “No. For not killing Mark Swanson when I had the chance.”
Angel gasped as the conversation suddenly turned serious. She turned in his arms, needing to see his face, reaching out to cup his stubbly cheek. “Don’t say that.” She shook her head adamantly. “I’d never want you to live with something like that.”
His green eyes flashed almost black in the darkness. “I don’t want you to be afraid anymore. He’d be a memory and we could—”
Her hand slid from his cheek into the hair at the side of his head and then further back. He closed his eyes in pleasure at her touch. “We still can. He’s a bug on the windshield of our lives. It’s you—” Angel stopped. She wasn’t sure if she should tell him how deeply he affected her. He had to know, based on how she reacted to him, but telling him was another matter.
“Me, what?” Alex asked in a low tone.
“It’s you I’m scared of. I try not to be. It goes against—” Concern and bewilderment flashed across his handsome face at the same time she struggled to voice her feelings without seeming like a weakling. “You can hurt me a million times more than Mark Swanson ever could.”
Alex’s eyes grew wide even as his brow furrowed. “Stop,” he said with one shake of his head. “I thought we were past that. Don’t I show you, in no uncertain terms, that I’m in this? I just said it again. What more can I do?”
“Nothing. Don’t get upset.” She tried to soothe him. “I fight with myself about it. I don’t mean to think about it, and I know I just need to let it go. I’m working on it. You’ve been nothing short of amazing… even if you’re an overbearing ass at times.” She gri
nned at him, her fingers still threading through his hair in steady rhythm.
Alex sighed heavily, wishing she didn’t have any doubts about him. “I’ve never given two shits about anyone before, but this is different. There is nothing I wouldn’t do for you.” His voice was low but insistent. His hands slid down her arm to her naked hip under the sheet, and began to knead her flesh.
“I know. I’ll stop making you say it.”
“I’ll say it as often as you want. Angel—” Alex began.
She placed two fingers on his mouth and then kissed him softly, trying to coax his response, but when he resisted, she knew he would not acquiesce until she gave him the answer he needed. “You don’t need to,” she whispered against his mouth.
“You can be as provocative and beguiling as you want, I will not let you distract me until I’m sure you accept how committed I am. And, once and for all, you trust me.”
“It isn’t your fault I feel this way. You’ve sort of become this… drug that I can’t get enough of. My feelings leave me vulnerable, but it’s nothing you’ve done, and it isn’t that I don’t trust you. You said it. It’s human and it’s a precarious place to be. A place I promised myself I wouldn’t be again.”
Alex’s hand tightened a little when Angel said the word again. He knew all about precariousness and unfamiliar vulnerability. He sighed heavily.
Angel frowned and lifted her right shoulder in a half-shrug. “I have to accept it and deal with it. Loving you this much, it’s just the way it is.”
Alex bit his lower lip as the ache in his chest eased a little. He gently cupped the side of her face, his fingers pushing a tendril of her hair behind her ear, as his intense eyes studied her. His thumb brushed her chin while his fingers tangled in the long hair at the back of her head. He stared into her face for a moment, fighting with how to convince her, once and for all.
He abruptly rolled her onto her back, pushing his leg between hers and allowing his weight to press her into the mattress. Angel saw him swallow, and his eyes burned into hers; she could feel him getting hard between her legs, his hips pushing the proof into her.
“Do you think I’m any less addicted? I can’t wait to see you; I think about you all the time, obsessed with protecting you and possessing you. I have this insane need to pleasure you until you beg me to stop and my name falls from lips that are swollen from my kisses. I want you to forget everything but me… to make you forget anyone else you’ve ever been with. I need to mark you, to own you body and soul—” he paused when Angel’s brow shot up in mock reprimand, but still, he could see her defiance battling with how she felt. He smiled softly, letting out a small huff, then continued to bare his soul. “—until you’ll never want another man touch you. Never again. Because if you let that happen, I’ll be destroyed; it will literally kill me. If anything happened to you, I don’t know what I’d do. I can tell you I love you, but it’s not enough to explain it.” His chest pushed into hers as he took a deep breath, and she could feel his heart pounding above hers. “I’m— fucking consumed.”
Angel’s amusement fell away in an instant, and she gasped; her arms and legs wrapping around him, fingers fisting lovingly in his hair. Her eyes became luminous, filling with tears, and her throat ached with emotion. Again, he left her speechless, and she struggled to say something. Two tears tumbled from her eyes, first one then the other rolled down the sides of her face to land on the pillow behind her head.
Alex smiled gently and kissed her three times, once on each corner of her mouth, then more lingering in the middle of her mouth. She nodded, her mouth coming alive under his, but Alex pulled back, brushed her hair back on both sides, and used his thumbs to trace the tracks of her tears. “I didn’t mean to make you cry.” A small smile tugged on his lips. “But, do you get it now? No more doubts. We’re going to do this.”
“Yes. I promise. I never want this night to end. Being with you feels too good. I think that’s what scares me the most.”
Alex exhaled through his nose, a full grin allowing a flash of white teeth. Maybe, finally, she’d understand.
“As long as that’s all it is. It’s madness. To want you again when we’re both sore and exhausted—to feel this empowered and yet completely at your mercy is nothing less than madness.” He nibbled on her mouth with a series of teasing kisses, using calculated movements of his hips to press his cock against her, slide it along her clit, and then pull away.
“I am sore, but it’s turning back into a throb,” Angel moaned softly against his mouth. She was writhing beneath him, her hands pulling at the flesh of his arms and back, only to slide down to his ass and pull. “Alex—”
He chuckled when her hips started bucking beneath him, and she reached up to get his mouth. “Fuck, yeah, it is. But we might pay for it tomorrow, sweetheart.” His teeth pulled on her lower lip, and she glared into his face even as her body begged his.
“I don’t care. Do I have to tell you I want your big dick inside me?”
He laughed softly and stopped moving and playing with her mouth so he could look into her face. Amusement danced in the green depths of his eyes as they met her dark brown ones. “Now that’s romantic,” he taunted. “I know it drives you crazy, baby. You don’t have to say it.” An arrogant smile tugged at the corner of his mouth as he teased.
Angel’s eyes widened and she huffed out a small laugh. “Um, yeah. You drive me crazy, all right. Though, I think I’m pretty adept at working you up, too, so can we just—” She couldn’t help but join in his laughter. Angel’s hips surged against his, increasing the pressure and rubbing her slick heat up and down his erection until Alex’s breathing increased.
“Just?” He prodded and smiled down at her softly, moving against her again, eliciting a low mewling moan from deep inside her chest. Knowing how much she wanted him only increased his desire. When she lifted her hips to line up the head of his cock with her entrance, Alex couldn’t deny either of them for one more second and thrust in deep, causing Angel to bite down on her lip.
“Just what?” He filled her to the hilt in a sudden movement that caused her to gasp. He didn’t move, waiting for her response. Angel moved her hips, grinding against his, using her inner muscles to squeeze and milk a response from him. Alex clenched his teeth against the urge to echo her movements as pleasure shot through him. “Just tell me.”
“Uhhh…” He groaned as his head dropped, and his eyes closed in pleasure. Resisting was too extreme an effort. “Fuuuuck.” The word sounded wrenched from him. “Just say it, Angel.”
“Fuuuuck,” she repeated with a velvety chuckle and continued to move on him, determined to get him to give in. “Satisfied?” She quipped. Clenching around him, Angel smiled wickedly.
Alex laughed but pulled out all the way, hovering above her, and she pouted. “Hardly. You’re such a little shit!” He sat on his haunches, his legs spread to anchor his position, and he grabbed Angel’s hips and pulled her forward, hard, onto his cock and she hissed. “Okay, you win—this time.”
He used slow, long thrusts, grinding hard into her clit and pubic bone. He could see himself sliding in and out of her, and it drove him nuts. He was reminded of the first time they were together after their first date at Tru. Angel reached up to hold him to her, but he was beyond arm’s length. He was teasing her until it was on the verge of torturing her. Angel knew what he was doing and decided to inflict a little torture of her own. Her hand slid up her own body, cupping her breasts and then tugging on the nipples, sultry, passion-glazed eyes meeting his as he continued to move on her. Angel bit her lip and waited for his response. His eyes fell, hooded and darkened with increased desire, as he watched her. The guttural sound deep within his throat told her how she affected him. Still, he didn’t stop his slow torment—in and out, in and out—nor did he increase his pace, content with the slow building of the incredible pleasure. She reached down to touch herself, but Alex pulled her hand up, and away. It was hotter than fuck to see her do that, but it
would send him over the edge, and he wasn’t ready for it to end.
“I want us both to win. More. I need more, Alex.”
“I know what you need.” He grasped her hand and pulled her up until her chest slid along his. He wrapped an arm around her hips, pulling her closer, getting as deep into her as he could. His movements slowed, and his tongue slid up the cord of her neck. Angel’s back arched, her head fell back, and her fingers dug into his shoulders. Alex winced even as his balls tightened, and he got closer to the edge. “And I’m going to give it to you. God, I’m so deep like this. It feels amazing.”
One hand gripped her chin as Alex brought her head down. His mouth plundered then gentled, leaving Angel trembling in his arms. His muscles coiled and tightened, and he felt her thighs start to shake. He kissed her again, his tongue laving hers in between nips and tugs.
“Now, what was it you were going to tell me?” Alex insisted against her mouth.
She sighed, wanting to deny him nothing because he would give her everything in return. And, because more simply; it was the truth. “I’m all yours.”
Alex’s mouth latched onto hers then, and he kissed her over and over again, deep penetrating kisses that fueled the fire between them. Angel’s fingers tightened in his hair, and her body sucked hard on his.
Alex reached between them to brush her clit with his fingers as he exploded inside her. “Come on, baby.” He groaned as his body continued to jerk as he poured into her. “Baby, I want you to come, Angel.”
Soon she was unraveling around him, convulsing and trembling as he pushed her over the edge. He watched her face as she came, hard. Alex had been with several women, most of whom acted out the screaming, porn-star-esque scenes when they came. Angel was silent except for soft moans and panting breaths. He realized all of that was unnecessary. All he needed was this woman calling his name and clenching around his cock to transport him to a place he’d never been; her fingers pulling him closer, winding in his hair as she rode out her climax against him. His head turned and he pressed a kiss onto her temple.
After Dark: The Complete Series Page 63