'Really. And we couldn't construct a set to suit in the studio? Of course we could, but it would be without the ghosts or any of the voodoo Byzantine Crescent can offer. Well haha! It's over Miles. I want out.'
'From the movie, the film studio, Polly or me?'
'All of them!' Piers shouted, and he stormed out.
'That went well,' Miles said. He put on his coat and left for the dinner. 'Yes, that went really well.'
~
Great-Uncle Vee was waiting in the foyer as all the guests arrived. From the welcoming cocktail to the dessert, he made sure everything would be more than perfect.
'This food tastes exactly like the food we had at the party in the cottage,' Barbara said. 'Must be the same chefs.'
'Yeah, I agree. It tastes like it comes from another world,' Alison added.
'And do you think Great-Uncle Vee is different tonight? He looks the same but seems different this time.' Polly was looking at Hamish as she spoke. 'And Hamish hasn't left his side since he arrived. And where is Ape?'
'And Piers,' Barbara said. 'Oops sorry.' She put her hand over her mouth, after getting a don't-go-there look from Alison.
'It's okay. I'm over him,' Polly said without conviction, whilst thinking, I'm about to go home and cry my eyes out.
'Polly, what are you doing over there, my dove? Come here and warm my hands.' The oily voice belonging to Brad ran down the table.
'Yes Polly, come up this end. Your big bro is missing you,' Hamish cut in.
'Get over it Hamish. And what's wrong with you? You're the last person I want to sit next to,' Polly bit back. 'What's got into him? He's acting like a nong,' she said as she turned back to Alison and Barbara. 'I'm going to the bathroom.'
'I'll come with you.' Barbara started to stand.
Polly pushed her back down. 'I don't need anyone to hold my hand Barbara,' she said, and she grabbed her bag and walked out of the dining room.
'Oh dear. I think I said the wrong thing Ali, is she still in love with Piers?'
But the answer did not come back, as both the girls were grabbed from behind and whisked up to the other end of the table, where Commander Pope who was cloned to look like Great-Uncle Vee was holding court.
He looked round the table. Alison, Barbara, Lily, Lucy and Miles were chatting and obviously enjoying the dinner. Zack and Knox were keeping their distance and had only really talked to Hamish. I will have to warn them to be friendly to everyone the Commander thought. The Liddles nearly gave the game away, jumping all over them. Thank goodness no one noticed. I'll give Brad a mirror, and he'll be happy. Polly… it seems she has gone home. As for Piers, he has decided not to come. He's bloody stubborn just like his father. I will just have to add fuel to the fire and try and keep them apart. It would suit me if Brad the idiot could get Polly to marry him.
~
The door to the dining room suddenly opened.
'Ah finally, my friends.' Great-Uncle stood to welcome the two new guests. 'Come. Come and meet my family and their friends.'
Brad looked up and went as white as a sheet, and the Rebel who had taken Hamish's place had a smile on his face to beat all smiles, as in walked Commander Rekrap and Captain Bean.
Polly, Piers and the Rebels
Polly decided to go home, and crept out of the hotel the back way. The last thing she felt like doing was celebrating. It had all started so well, and then Piers didn't arrive, so Miles was embarrassed, and then things went from bad to worse. Great-Uncle Vee was very strange - not a bit like when they'd had lunch at home, it was like he was a different person. And as for Hamish, he was either sick in the head or rolling drunk. The boys' twins were strange and not at all friendly. It was hard looking at Zack with Piers exact face and disliking him. Also because Piers hadn't turned up, everyone felt sorry for her, so sod it.
She walked into the empty house and called for the Liddles, and then she remembered they had sneaked into the hotel in the handbags and spent most of the time dancing on the table, entertaining Zack and Knox. The house did not have the usual feeling of warmth and comfort, so Polly was glad when the phone rang.
'Polly, it's me - Piers. I'm sorry I behaved so badly. I was outside the hotel and followed you home. I thought you had spotted me diving and ducking. It's hard to follow someone on a Harley and not being seen.' Polly did not answer, so Piers continued. 'Can I come in? I have really missed you.'
'Why not?' Polly said, trying to sound flippant. 'There's still some food left in the cottage after the party, and it's cosy in there.'
Piers let out a sigh of relief so loud it could have been heard a mile away.
'The front door is open. You know the way. See you in the crypt, and we'll go on to the cottage together.' Polly smiled. 'And by the way…' Her voice warmed.
'Yes?'
'I'm glad you rang.'
'Me too. See you in two ticks.' He was off his motorbike and running up the front drive as fast as he could before she changed her mind. He took the steps two at a time and entered the house just in time to see Polly disappear down the stone steps into the crypt.
~
"What the hell are we doing back in the cottage?' Event raved as he looked round at the remnants of the party.
'It was that idiot Rekrap and his idiot Captain Bean. He must have left one of the ray infusers on, and it blasted us.'
'I didn't ask you how we got here. I know that. I asked why,' Event shot back. He was as angry as he had ever been in his life. 'And don't bother to tell me,' he cut Salute off. 'I already know.'
'Well you had better tell me. I'm damned if I know.'
'In the Rebel Handbook, it states. If anyone is hit with the love ray, it takes him back to the place he loves most.'
'So we love the cottage most?' Salute looked as if Event had lost the plot.
'Quiet you idiot. Someone is coming down the garden path.'
Making as much noise as they possibly could without trying, Commander Rekrap and Captain Bean appeared in the doorway.
'I thought I'd find you here, sorry I left the love ray on and you got zapped.'
'That's okay.' Says Event, want a drink, there's some left after the party.'
Event and Salute were laughing at all Commander Rekraps dreadful jokes, while at the same time trying to find out what the Dark Universe was up too. They looked up as Polly opened to door.
She was surprised to see men in the cottage, but they were part of the film crew, so she greeted them with a smile.
'How's the film going?' she asked as she sat on the arm of the sofa. 'I hear we have a new sponsor.'
As usual, before anyone could say a word, Commander Rekrap blurted out. 'It's me, it's me. I'm Percival Rekrap, and you must be Polly.'
~
'Polly, hello, hello,' Piers called as he followed Polly. She did not reply or even turn her head. 'Polly wait, wait. Polly, this is not funny. Come on, wait for me.'
He stood in the center of the crypt and looked round. 'Polly, I don't know if you have changed your mind about seeing me, but at least have the decency to come out and tell me why. I really don't feel like playing play hide-and-seek.' Where is she? He thought. Why would she invite me in and then change her mind? It doesn't make sense. She mentioned the cottage. Well he would go and have a look, and if she isn't there, he would go home and cross her off his Christmas card list.
~
He walked to the door that led to the garden, and when it did not open, he put his shoulder to it, and it gave way. The garden wasn't a bit like he remembered it. The few plants and trees that were left were withered and dead looking, and the cottage looked desolute. He called again - still no reply. He debated whether to go back. He wasn't even sure if Polly had come this way. But he was curious, so he walked towards the cottage. As he got nearer, he could hear voices and music. It sounded like a party. He rubbed his eyes. The cottage started to look better. The paint on the walls looked brighter, and the windows were sparkling clean, so by the time he got to the door, it lo
oked brand new. As we always do when the unexplained happens, we shake our heads and think we are seeing things. He opened the door and called Polly as he stepped into the cottage.
It was obvious he was not impressed when he saw Polly sitting with four men.
'Oh, I'm sorry. I thought… I mean, I did not know… I mean, sorry. I'll come back another time.' And Piers started to retreat.
'No,' said Polly. 'I'm sorry Piers. I did not know some of the film crew would be here. Come in Piers and after we've had a cup of something, we can leave.' She directed her next question at the men, who were sitting quite comfortably on the sofa. 'Are you guys staying long?'
'Well,' said the Commander, 'we do have a lot to discuss. And I'm quite hungry, and I personally would like to know your thoughts on the new script.'
Piers looked thunderous. Polly had obviously invited him here to rub his nose in it. He was immediately red-hot angry. 'I'm going,' he said angrily and started towards the door.
'Wait, young man. If you had a choice of where you would like to be right now, where would it be?' asked Commander Rekrap.
'The farthest point away from here,' Piers answered angrily.
'Rekrap remembered where the Rebel storm trooper said Hamish was.
'That will do,' he said to himself. 'Iceland it is.' And Piers disappeared out of the door. 'Now Event, Salute, let's have something to eat.'
Polly sat. She could not believe Piers had left, and he was so angry. It wasn't her fault, she had no idea the film crew were in the cottage. Come to think of it, she'd heard those names Event and Salute before, but where? Try as she might, she could not recall where.
Commander Rekrap was absolutely charming, and Polly really liked him. She asked what Captain Bean did and was told he was of no consequence. She was asked if she would like to change the script. Whilst Event and Salute were in the kitchen preparing the food, they whispered to each other.
'I suppose our cover has been blown. Even Rhettnor did not know we were under deep cover, pretending we had changed sides to spy.'
'It wasn't us. Rekrap the bungler did it, he hasn't a clue about anything,' Salute retorted.
'Yes, but we can't let Polly get hurt. If Rekrap forgets for one moment he is the filmmaker extraordinaire and remembers she is his mortal enemy, he will likely attack her, de-pneuma her and send her to Yrotagrup.'
They all sat round like old friends, eating the delicious food Event and Salute had whisked up. After all the food was gone, Polly said she was tired and going to bed. It was really an excuse to ring Piers to explain. Commander Rekrap told Captain Bean to walk Polly to the house, which he willing did. He had fallen a little bit in love with her.
'I'm so excited about this movie,' Commander Rekrap enthused. 'That Brad what's-his-name is ever so famous.' He chuckled. 'I really enjoy being a bigwig in the movie industry.'
'According to Steve, making a movie was just a ploy to get into the house,' Salute said.
'It started that way, but we are all enjoying ourselves so much, we have put the takeover of Earth on hold till the movie is finished.' Commander Rekrap said.
Event and Salute looked at each other and decided with Rebels like Commander Rekrap running the war, the Rebels would definitely lose.
'By the way, where have you sent Piers, that friend of Polly's?' Event asked.
'Actually, it's such a laugh. Remember what the Rebel double of Hamish said when they changed places?'
'Sort of,' Event said. It was news to them and they listed carefully, up till now they had no idea Hamish had been captured and a Rebel was wandering round posing as him.
'Well, that lad is on his way to Iceland. I sent him there. He can keep Hamish company. What a joke. It'll freeze his bottom off. Hope he likes it, because he will be there forever, haha. Now where is that idiot Bean? I'm tired. Bean, get here at once. Is that little girl safely tucked in bed? Good.' And on that note, the two Rebels disappeared.
Salute breathed a sigh of relief. 'Commander Rekrap will kick himself when he remembers he had Polly in his power and he let her go. True, she is safe in bed now and none the wiser, but Piers is in Iceland.'
Event flopped back on the sofa. 'Get your winter long johns on Salute. Iceland, here we come.'
~
Polly went straight to sleep, woke the next day and remembered she had met whom she thought was the film crew and one of the major sponsors in the cottage.
'Ali, Ali! Are you awake? I have something exciting to tell you. Meet you in the kitchen.'
I'm in! The sponsor likes me, she thought. Now try to get rid of me, Mr Steve Bloody Smith. But her happiness was tempered with her thoughts of Piers. He would never forgive her now, she was sure.
Chapter 7
Iceland
Piers opened his eyes, and he was in the coldest place he had ever been in his life. Has the end of the world happened, or am I dreaming? He thought. Either way, I can't stay here. He looked all round, and in the distance, he saw a shack of sorts and decided to head for it, it was his only chance of survival. As he trudged through the snow, he tried to recollect what had happened. I rang Polly, and she invited me round, she seemed happy I had rung. I thought we would be alone when she suggested the cottage, and I was really pleased. When I eventually got there I couldn't believe it - the bloody film crew were there. She must have known. I will never forgive her, never. If ever see I her again, I'll… I'll… Leaving that thought in a very dark place, he reached the door of the shack.
The door opened easily, and he cautiously walked in. The place was empty except for a few sacks in a corner and old rope hanging on a hook on the wall. A three-legged stool was right in the middle of the shack. He was full of despair as he sank onto the stool and shouted. 'Where the hell am I?'
Immediately, voices and banging came from beneath his feet.
'Help! Help!'
'It can't be. Hamish, is that you?'
'Yes, it's me - Hamish. There's a trap door somewhere, and we are right underneath it.'
Piers sprang into action. He looked round, pulled the sacks out of the way and lifted a very heavy trap door. He looked down to see Hamish and another man looking up at him as if he was the saviour himself.
'Give us a hand up,' Hamish asked, and after Piers had pulled him up, they both reached down and pulled up Xavier.
With perfect timing it seemed, Event and Salute had located the place where Commander Rekrap said he had sent Piers, and they burst in through the door.
Xavier shoved Hamish and Piers behind him. 'So you are behind this, you, you… traitors.'
'Wait a bit, Xavier. We're not traitors. We were working undercover till that idiot Rekrap bungled it,' Event said.
'Really,' Xavier answered sarcastically. 'Then how come Rhett knows nothing about it?'
'Because… I can't tell you.'
'You can't tell me, and I am a Senior Freeflyer.'
'Yes, you're entitled to know, but…' and Event nodded towards the boys.
'Fair enough.' Xavier motioned Event and Salute outside and closed the door behind them.
'My God,' said Hamish. 'Who were they?'
'I don't know, but they seemed to be on the same side as us, I think?' Piers added.
As Xavier closed the door, he looked round. 'We are in a Rebel stronghold. How the hell did we get here? And I seem to have lost most of my energy power.'
'It’s no secret how we got here. That bloody fool Rekrap told us where he had sent Piers.' Before he could say another word, Piers and Hamish heard Xavier shout.
'Look out behind you!'
But Event and Salute were too slow. They turned round as a horde of Rebels attacked. Piers rushed to the door to join the fight, but Hamish grabbed him. He put his fingers to his lips.
'Quiet! We have no chance against them.'
'My God,' said Piers. 'Who are they?'
'I'm not sure, but they have powers beyond our understanding. We can only hope the ones on our side have the same powers.' Hamish said.
> They stood quietly, waiting to hear who would come bursting in the door.
'Should we go outside? It's been quiet for some time,' Piers asked as he peered through a dirty window. He looked round at the snow-covered ground. 'Do you have any idea where we are?'
'Probably Iceland. It's where I was heading before terrorists shanghaied me. They killed my co-pilot, or so they said. Then I woke up in luxury. I thought I was in a very expensive hotel. The most beautiful woman I have ever seen came in, followed by a young lad pushing a trolley covered with exotic foods and expensive Champagne. She was trying to get me to change sides. The problem is, I'm not on any side. I didn't even know there were sides.'
'Goodies and baddies?' Piers questioned, 'or are all of them baddies?' He frowned and shook his head.
'I know it sounds ridiculous Piers, but I was told I am a Freeflyer from the First Universe.'
'A Freeflyer?'
'Yes, and it was Rebels from the Dark Universe who took over my plane. I refused to succumb and called them mob murderers.' He smiled. 'That's all I remember till I woke to the beautiful woman.'
'And the other bloke?'
'Xavier? Well, he said he was a Freeflyer and had been given the same treatment as I was.'
'Which was?'
'The beautiful woman treatment.'
'That's a joke. One minute I'm in Polly's cottage and the next dumped in the snow. I missed out on the beautiful woman bit.'
Hamish started to laugh, and Piers joined in, all the time protesting it was not funny.
'Well, at least it seems we're on the same side. Hey, do you think I'm a Freeflyer too?' Piers asked.
'Could be. Otherwise, why have you been sent here?'
'Fair comment. So what now? We can't stay here, we'll freeze to death.'
'First, I think we should reconnoiter the place. You see if there's anything of use in here, and see if we can make a fire.'
'Righto! I'll look for something to eat, I'm starving,' Hamish said.
Piers looked at Hamish. 'That reminds me of my best mate Miles, he's always on the scrounge for food.' He let out a huge sigh, they had parted on bad terms.
~
Their luck was in, Piers managed to light a fire, and Hamish found some frozen food. ‘Pardon the pun,’ he said, which made them laugh again.
Polly Pippin and The Tunnel of Death Page 9