by Jo Ann Brown
The enormity of the future swarmed over him. Heidi and Harley would grow up calling him that. At some time, he needed to be honest with them. When and how? Would they see his letting them think he was their daed as a deception or would they accept the truth and go on with their lives?
A bit of ironic laughter surged in his clogged throat. How would their lives change when he spoke the truth? He couldn’t keep it from them forever.
Soft fingers settled on his hand fisted around the spoon. Raising his gaze from her hand to Leanna’s compassionate eyes, he heard her speak a single word.
“Don’t.”
“Don’t what?”
“Don’t go wherever you went with your thoughts,” she said. “Whether it was the past or the future, don’t go there. This is a happy moment. Stay here with us.”
“There’s nothing else I’d rather do.”
His sincere words brought a scintillating smile from her. “Gut,” she said before offering Harley another bite of her sorbet.
She was right. He was going to enjoy this special time with her and the twins because he wasn’t sure if there ever should be another.
As he listened to Leanna teasing both kinder, he knew there were a lot of things about his future he needed to consider. He must be careful before he hurt the people he cared about.
Again.
Chapter Nine
Leanna looked up at the clock on the kitchen wall. It was only ten, but she felt as if she’d put in a day’s work. Nothing had gone right. She’d overslept and had to rush getting dressed. Somehow, she’d failed to put all the pins in her hair and her kapp, so now she had to keep pushing both into place each time she moved.
When she’d arrived at the Millers’ farm, Gabriel had been curt. Not just to her, but to his twin and his kinder. Michael had given her a quick shrug before he followed Gabriel out the door, showing he didn’t know what was bothering his twin.
The bopplin acted as out of sorts as their daed. Harley spit out every bite of oatmeal she tried to feed him. Heidi refused to eat or play with her toys. The little girl kept rubbing her eyes and yawning as she alternated between crying and whining, and Leanna wondered if the whole family was exhausted by everything that had happened since they’d left Lancaster County.
A knock came at the door, and Leanna considered ignoring it. The kitchen was a mess, the bopplin were covered with bits of food, and she must look a sight with her kapp threatening to fall over her right ear. Taking a deep breath, she opened the door.
“Miriam!” She hadn’t expected to see her friend at the Millers’ house.
“You look as if you’re having a dandy of a day.” The tall blonde walked in and surveyed the kitchen. Without saying anything further to Leanna, she picked up Heidi and asked, “What’s bothering you so much you have to tell the whole world about it?”
The boppli regarded Miriam with curiosity. Sticking her thumb in her mouth, Heidi became silent.
“You should have come earlier and convinced her to be quiet.” Leanna lifted Harley out of his chair. “Do you have time to stay and visit for a while? Once I get him cleaned, I can put on the teapot.”
When Leanna faced her friend, Miriam gave her the stern look she usually aimed at a recalcitrant scholar. “You can’t have forgotten!”
“I could, because it seems I have.” She resisted a yawn of her own. Too many dreams of Gabriel opening his arms to her—last night’s had been in a new location: in front of the ice-cream shop—had jolted her awake in the middle of the night. After almost too many nights of various versions of the sweet fantasy, she had no idea if her dream-self had ever accepted his invitation to hug or not. It was as if her mind didn’t trust her with that information because it feared she would give in to her yearnings to be near him when she was awake.
She’d never expected her brain to have to protect her from her heart. It was unsettling to think about.
“Didn’t Juanita and Kenny remind you this morning?” Miriam’s question saved her from her disconcerting thoughts.
“They may have, but I arrived here this morning in time to discover the bopplin were refusing to take their bottles. And then the morning got more frantic after that.” Even in her own ears, the excuse sounded weak, but how could she speak of her tumultuous thoughts to her gut friend Miriam?
“Today is the school picnic down by the creek.” Miriam grinned at Heidi, who gave her a shy smile in return. “I know you want to go and have fun with the other kinder. How about you, Leanna?”
“Of course I want to go.” She rolled her eyes. “I can’t believe I forgot the school picnic. Juanita and Kenny have been talking about it nonstop.”
“You’ve had a few other things on your mind.”
“Ja, these two.”
“And their daed? Annie told me yesterday at the bakery that you and Gabriel walked out together before he married the bopplin’s mamm.”
“We did.” She took Harley to the sink to wash thick blotches of oatmeal off before it hardened on his clothes. With her back to her friend, she added, “It didn’t work out as either of us hoped when we first met.”
“I’m sorry. Is it uncomfortable for you taking care of his kinder?”
“It was at first. It’s not now.” Leanna was amazed to realize that was the truth. She never would have imagined she could become accustomed to the crazy situation in which she and Gabriel had found themselves. Yet when they’d taken the bopplin for sorbet on Saturday, it had seemed natural to be with him and his family.
“I’m glad to hear that.”
“Me, too.” And that was almost the truth. She wondered if it was possible ever to fall out of love with someone. The hopes she’d savored during those few months had left a permanent shadow on a corner of her heart, something she’d decided should be filed under “older but wiser” experiences.
Not wanting to think about that, she left Miriam playing with the twins. Leanna concentrated on collecting extra clothing, food and bottles for the bopplin, as well as some of their favorite toys. She put two small quilts in the wagon, then added a pair of towels because the picnic would be beside the water and the kinder loved splashing in their baths. Because she knew Gabriel would be concerned if he came home and they weren’t there, she left a note on the kitchen table explaining where they were.
As she pulled the twins’ wagon behind her, Leanna was relieved Miriam spent the five minutes it took for them to walk along the road talking about her scholars. Though Miriam was looking forward to the opportunity to spend time at home with her husband, Eli, and his nephew, Kyle, she admitted she’d miss teaching. She’d stayed on an extra year and had been training the blacksmith’s sister, Grace Streicher, to take her place. The girl had moved from Canada to manage her brother James’s house a month ago, and she’d agreed to help at the school when it became obvious there was nobody else who could.
Leanna pulled the wagon down the narrow path from the road. Stones and tree roots jutted out of the ground at odd angles, threatening to tip it. She edged to the side to let four scholars surge past her. Knowing they had their sights set on the creek at the bottom of the hill, she doubted if they’d noticed her much slower passage along the rough path.
She heard the waterfall before she saw it. Only about five feet high, the cascade sent water into a deep pool in the otherwise shallow creek. No wonder the kinder had claimed the area for a swimming hole.
The open glade along the creek’s bank was beautiful. Trees surrounded it and lined the far side of the creek, but no underbrush crowded the shore. Gravel edged the pool, offering a place for the younger kinder to play beside the water. Someone had mowed the grass enough for the mamms to spread out blankets. Sitting there, they could keep a close eye on the pool and the waterfall dropping into it.
Leanna smiled when she saw the other two members of the Harmony Creek Spinsters Club, her sister and Sar
ah, sitting in the shadow of some ancient trees that stretched their branches over the creek. The leaves filtered the sunshine, setting it to dance on the water flying over boulders farther down the creek.
Sarah had hair as red as Gabriel’s and wore new glasses. When Sarah explained she’d taken a tumble off a horse and broken her old ones, Leanna was glad that was the only damage her friend had suffered. Sarah always told amusing stories, something she’d learned in order to entertain four Englisch kinder when she was their nanny. She soon had everyone sitting around her laughing about how a beaver had helped itself to some of the trees her brothers had chopped down and planned to cut in their sawmill.
“For some reason, nobody wants wood that’s already been gnawed,” Sarah finished. “Menno was annoyed, but Benjamin reminded him the beavers were getting revenge for the two of them breaking up a new dam on the farm pond. The dam had blocked the flow of water, and my brothers need it to get big logs from the woodlot to their sawmill. Also, far more important to Benjamin is that the dam meant losing gut fishing.”
“Has Menno calmed down?” asked Leanna, knowing Sarah’s two brothers had once tried to run her life. That had changed, but her elder brother Menno had little patience with anyone or anything else.
“I have faith he will...eventually.”
That brought more laughter as the rest of the scholars and their mamms and younger siblings joined them beside the creek. Everyone pulled out food to share, and the conversation was interlaced with recipes, as well as for calls for the kinder to be careful in the water.
As she chatted with her friends, Leanna was kept busy chasing Heidi to keep her from the water. After they’d finished picking up from their picnic, she decided to take the bopplin to enjoy the water.
“Before you go...” Miriam said as Leanna threw the towels over her shoulder and bent to pick up the twins. “I have some news, but you can’t share it with anyone. Not your husbands, not your families.”
“What is it?” Annie’s eyes twinkled. “Is it what I think it is?”
“Promise first. No telling anyone.”
After all three vowed they’d keep Miriam’s secret, she put her hands around her abdomen. “The secret’s right here.”
“You’re going to have a boppli!” Leanna exclaimed as the others grinned. “When?”
“In November. Around Thanksgiving time.” Her voice was flush with joy. “My timing was off. I wish I’d been done teaching school before I had to deal with morning sickness.”
Sarah laughed. “We’re going to have to change the name of our group to the Harmony Creek Spinsters, Newlyweds and New Mamms Club. Who would have guessed our lives would change so much in a year?”
Leanna forced a smile when the rest joined in with Sarah’s laughter. It was true their lives had changed. She wished she knew what her life was changing into. Gabriel was in it, but not in any way she would have imagined when she’d first heard of his wedding plans. She’d always been sure of what she wanted. A wunderbaar romance with an exciting man like in the books she used to read.
Odd... She couldn’t remember the last time she’d picked up a novel and let herself be drawn into the story of two people falling in love. Was that because she wasn’t sure if such a tale would ever come true for her?
* * *
Gabriel wiped sweat off his nape as he edged down the already well-worn path toward the creek. The sound of happy voices drifted through the thick leaves, but he couldn’t see the water or any of the people gathered there. Stepping around a blackberry bush, being careful to avoid its thorns, he saw a clearing below. The only thing in it was the red wagon Leanna had given the twins.
He’d been surprised when he got home after finishing a hard morning’s work on the studio in West Rupert to find a note from Leanna on the kitchen table. She hadn’t said anything to him before about taking the twins on a picnic. It wasn’t like her to be so secretive.
“No,” his brother had said, “that’s what you are, Gabriel.”
Michael’s words continued to ring in his ears, another reminder of how much he hated being restrained by the promise he’d made. Gabriel had considered going to Eli Troyer, their minister, to seek his advice but hadn’t. How could he explain to Eli how he no longer believed God heard his prayers?
Those thoughts vanished when he rounded a corner on the path and caught sight of Leanna squatting by a pool. The sunlight glistened with blue fire on her black hair and added warmth to her cheeks, which were a shade lighter than the dark rose dress puddling around her bare feet. Beside her, Harley sat close enough to slap his hands in the pool. Each time his palms hit the water, he chortled with delight. Leanna was holding Heidi up so she could stamp her tiny feet, sending drops in every direction. When a few hit her brother, Harley shook his head and just kept playing in the pool, too.
It was an enticing sight, a view of a woman spending time with two kinder she loved. He paid no attention to the older kinder lining up to slide with the quick current down the waterfall and into the pool. A group of women sitting on blankets beneath the trees to his right barely registered in his mind.
Walking as if drawn by an invisible cord toward Leanna and the twins, he paused behind her. She looked up, and their gazes fused. He couldn’t pull his eyes away. Not that he wanted to, because he could have stayed there forever. It was a moment out of time, as it had been the night he first saw her.
“Hi,” she said.
“Hi.” Not great conversation, but the single word seemed perfect.
The moment was shattered when Heidi let out an impatient cry. Leanna shifted the little girl so she could splash in the water more.
Gabriel took a steadying breath, feeling as if he was waking from the best dream he’d ever had. His contentment vanished when he noticed how blue the twins’ lips looked.
“They need to get out of the water,” he said.
“Why?”
“Look at them! They’re blue with the cold!”
Leanna laughed. “They’re blue from the ice pops they had a few minutes ago.” She turned Heidi so he could see drops of the same color down the front of the little girl’s once-pristine schlupp schotzli. “I think they got more on them than in their mouths. I figured I could wash them and let them play at the same time.”
More than a bit embarrassed, Gabriel said, “Let me help.”
“Danki. Can you say hi to your daed?” She wiggled Heidi’s hand in a greeting as she handed him a towel. “Your daed wants to get you cleaned up.”
“Da-da-da,” Heidi chanted, curling up her toes in delight.
He glanced at Harley, but the little boy seemed interested only in how much of his tiny fist he could cram into his mouth.
“Don’t worry,” Leanna said. “He’ll talk in his own time. I’ve been told I didn’t talk to anyone but Annie until I was almost three. I let Annie talk for us, and it looks as if Harley is doing the same with Heidi. When I did start talking to everyone, Grossmammi Inez said I spoke in full sentences. She said it probably was the first time I could get a word in edgewise. Don’t worry about Harley. He’ll talk when he’s ready.”
“You’re right.” He dipped one corner of the towel into the water. Dabbing at Harley’s face, he chuckled when the little boy screwed up his mouth to thwart him.
“You’re laughing.” Astonishment heightened Leanna’s voice.
“I’ve been known to from time to time.”
“Not since you’ve moved here.”
He finished washing Harley and looked at her. “I’m sure I have—”
“Not once. You’ve smiled.” A flush rose up her face. “I’m sorry, Gabriel. I shouldn’t be teasing you when it’s been such a short time since...”
He didn’t need her to finish. He knew what she’d been about to say. Since your wife died.
She frowned at Harley. “Let me clean him up.”
/> “I did.”
“You did? His lips are still blue.”
Gabriel looked at the boppli and saw she was right. “The water is chilly.”
“He didn’t go into the water. I’ve kept a close watch on them, so they didn’t get too cold.”
“He’s been laughing a lot?”
“Ja.”
“Well, there you go. You know he can laugh so hard he ends up coughing. It makes him short of breath. He’s always fine in a few minutes.”
“Always?”
“Leanna, it’s been less than a month since you first met them. I’ve known them their whole lives. Don’t you think I’m more familiar with what’s going on with them?”
“Sometimes fresh eyes see things others haven’t noticed.”
“He’s fine. Look at him.” He motioned toward the kinder.
She started to retort, but must have thought better of it. She stood and settled Heidi on her hip before she began to pick up the bopplin’s toys and put them into the wagon.
“Do you want some help?” he asked.
“No, I’m fine.”
He resisted the yearning to tell her he agreed. It might push her further away.
“I shouldn’t have said that, Leanna.”
“Said what?”
She wasn’t going to make this easy for him. And why should she? He had been the one to ruin the fun they were having with the kinder.
“The truth is,” he replied, “your question poked at a sore spot.”
“Your worry that you aren’t a gut daed?”
“How—?”
She smiled at him with as much compassion as she did the twins. “You may think you’re keeping it a secret, but it colors everything you do, Gabriel. These bopplin are such a part of you, and you want to give them all you can so they have a wunderbaar childhood. Shall I tell you something else that isn’t a secret?”