As it was, I was still half asleep and unsure I’d understood him.
“Um, okay?” I replied, confused, turning from the coffee I’d been pouring. I’d already agreed to marry him. The huge diamond on my finger said as much.
“Today,” he clarified with a heart-stopping smile before his gaze grew serious. “That asshole signed the papers before we dropped him off like a fucking prize to the cops. So yes, today, baby.”
“Today?” I gasped. “But the paperwork… a dress….” I trailed off.
“There’s no waiting period in Nevada. Paperwork’s filed and processed.” He stepped closer to me, his hands on my hips. “I don’t want to wait an hour longer than necessary to marry you, baby. Just us and the kids, like you said.”
“Can we even get an appointment this last-minute?” I asked, not wanting to get my hopes up before I knew. There was nothing I wanted more than to marry my man today.
He grinned at my obvious enthusiasm. “I’ll take care of that,” he replied easily. “Go out and get yourself a dress—I’d imagine Emmie will want one too.” He chuckled as we looked over to watch Emmie twirl in the living room in her ever present tutu. “Get the girls together,” he suggested.
“Yeah,” I breathed, overwhelmed with the turn of events. I’d thought we’d spend a normal day around the house.
I already knew exactly where I wanted to go.
“That one is perfect.” Scarlet grinned an hour later. I’d gathered the girls together at Piper’s boutique, knowing I’d find something perfect to wear and wanting to share my excitement with my best girls.
I looked myself over in the mirror, eyeing the dress speculatively. The fit-and-flare style accentuated my waist and legs, and the lace was classic and feminine.
“So pretty!” Emmie squealed, bouncing up and down, already wearing the white sundress we’d picked out at the kids’ clothing store down the street. I was pretty sure she’d want to sleep in it for the next week.
“That’s the one.” Piper nodded in agreement.
“I think so, too,” I replied, doing a little twirl. “Plus, it goes perfect with my cowboy boots,” I added, lifting a foot up with a grin.
Those boots had been with me for years. It felt right to wear them on one of the happiest days of my life.
Connie looked at her watch. “We gotta start getting your hair and makeup done.”
They’d surprised me by bringing everything I needed to get ready at the boutique.
“Let’s get you ready to marry your man,” Sophie murmured, tears swimming in her eyes.
She, of all people, knew how much this day meant to me. How hard I’d worked to get here.
I looked at her in the mirror. “Yeah,” I managed over the lump in my throat.
****
It was late that same afternoon that I got to stand beside my man with our kids and Cole and family flanking us on both sides as we were married in the small but iconic Hawthorne courthouse.
The look of appreciation from Cal when he’d first seen me was all the affirmation I needed that the dress had been the right choice. Though casual, it was dressed up with the earrings Scarlet had lent me as my something borrowed. The blue garter on my thigh had been playfully slipped up my leg by Connie as my something blue. Though we’d wanted to keep the ceremony small, my girls and the club were there in spirit.
But it was the necklace Cal had slipped around my neck just before the ceremony that meant the most. The delicate golden puzzle piece hung around my neck as my something new.
My man had solved the puzzle that was me, the irony being he was the solution all along.
Chapter 36
A week later, I sat at a small round table fighting the urge to flinch every time the heavy metal door opened with a clank and slammed shut with a reverberating boom. Screeches from somewhere in the building echoed off the walls and the hairs on the back of my neck rose in response.
The Nevada State Women’s correctional facility wasn’t a place I’d ever imagined I’d see the inside of, nor was it a place I wanted to linger.
Cal hadn’t questioned my decision to come here, only fighting me tooth and nail about coming alone. As a result, he’d made the six hour drive with me without complaint, and currently sat in the waiting area until I was done.
When Janelle appeared, wearing a bright orange jumper, my first reaction was surprise that she didn’t look much better off than the last time I’d seen her. Sure, she was in jail, but I’d assumed the forced sobriety would bring back some of the old Janelle I’d known. At least the version of her I wanted to remember.
She shuffled to where I sat, hands clasped on the table, my posture stiff as I fought for composure in such an unwelcome environment, braced for an even worse encounter.
My track record in recent years with Janelle was poor at best but something in me had to try, at least one last time.
“Hi,” I murmured once she’d sat down.
She shifted in her seat, her eyes glancing around the room before briefly landing on me. “Hey,” she muttered.
“How are you?” I hedged.
She snorted. “Well, I’m in prison so I’ve been better, and from the sound of it I’ll be here a long fucking time.”
As you deserve to be, I thought.
“The kids are doing well,” I said instead. “They’re both learning how to swim and Max made some friends in school before the year ended. We’ve had a few of them over for play dates since then.”
“That’s good.” She nodded, the first hint of softness in her tone. “How’s Emmie?”
I smiled. “She’s great. She loves Mason and is like a little mama bear with him. Though I don’t think he appreciates being dressed up like one of her dolls.” I laughed at the memory of just the other day when I’d walked in on Emmie trying to shove her purple tutu up his legs.
She nodded. “She was a sweetheart from day one. Not sure where she got that from.”
I wasn’t sure how to answer that so I asked instead, “Are you getting enough to eat in here?” She still looked too thin to me.
She shrugged. “The food is shit but I’m fine. It could be worse.”
She could be dead. She didn’t need to say it; we let the unspoken words hang between us.
“I signed the papers,” she continued, referring to the fact that she’d signed over her parental rights, the last hurdle in our adoption of the kids.
“I know,” I replied softly.
“I know you’ll take good care of them. You were always good with them,” she continued, her thumbs twiddling in a nervous gesture I recognized from when we were kids.
“We will,” I promised. “I love them, Jan. Cal loves them. We got married,” I added, for some reason wanting to tell her despite knowing she wouldn’t want the details.
As I expected, she simply nodded, shifting restlessly in her seat. “I figure it’s the best thing I ever did for them—giving them up. Being in this place… I see that clearly,” she shared in a rare moment of vulnerability.
“I never wanted this for you, Jan. But I love those kids like they’re my own,” I assured her.
“I know.” She nodded stiffly before her gaze met mine. “I was jealous,” she admitted. “You got the hell out of town the first chance you got. You never looked back. You made something of yourself. You teach my kids that,” she asked, the plea barely restrained in her tone. “You teach them to be strong. You teach them to be good.”
My eyes filled with tears as I nodded emphatically.
“All right.” She nodded, rising to indicate that she was done. “I appreciate the visit but you don’t belong in this place. Move on with your life. Take them with you,” she murmured as she looked down at me for what I realized might be the last time. “And if they ever ask about me—you tell them the truth. You tell them who I am, you tell them the choices I made. Maybe it’ll keep them from making the same fucking mistakes.”
“I will,” I agreed. “I’ll also tell them that t
heir mama makes the best raspberry pie I’ve ever tasted. I’ll tell them when Billy Upton tried to kiss me in first grade their mama came at him with a punch strong enough to make a grown man cry.” I was smiling now through tears as I continued. “I’ll tell them their mama gave a lot up so I could eat—so I could survive, and I used that opportunity to be the more that I want them to be.”
“Yah,” she rasped. “That sounds good, Jilly. I’ll see you.”
It was good-bye wrapped in a see you later. But it was easier to swallow, for both of us.
“See you later,” I agreed.
When I walked out of the visiting area I’d never been more grateful that Cal had gotten his way. I couldn’t have imagined making that drive alone.
He stood when he saw me, his blue eyes watching my progress as I made my way through the room to him.
I was going to fall apart before I even reached him. I knew it, but luckily he knew it too. He cut the distance between us, his long strides making their way to me before his strong arms enveloped me in an all-consuming embrace.
I burrowed into his chest, sad that it was over and feeling guilty that I was relieved at the same time. He didn’t ask for me to explain, didn’t need me to. Instead, he wrapped an arm around me, shielding me with his strength. He led us out of the prison—leaving the moans of anguish and hollers of dispute behind us.
We drove home in silence as I processed the convoluted blessing my sister had offered. With Cal’s large hand splayed on my thigh, I watched the landscape shoot by and grappled with the responsibility I’d taken on in raising her children. A responsibility I welcomed, one I couldn’t wait to get home to.
“You’re not goin’ back there.” Cal’s growl broke the silence between us, his tone and insistence surprising me. “I’ve had to watch you confront two of the people who’ve hurt you most. I’m not doing it anymore. I let you say your piece with that ex piece of shit.”
I noticed he’d never say Tim’s name out loud. I didn’t blame him.
“And I get the need to have a last word with your sister, but baby, I am done. We’re moving on. You’re moving on.” He emphasized with a gentle squeeze of my thigh.
“Yeah,” I agreed wholeheartedly, turning my head to watch his handsome profile as he navigated the road ahead. “That’s why I needed to do this now. I needed the closure. Because I’m ready to leave it all behind. More than.”
My gaze returned to the landscape shooting past in a blur outside my window. I was ready to be a mother of three, ready to be Cal’s wife and to stand beside him as the prez’s old lady.
“Do you think the kids will want breakfast for dinner? Chocolate chip pancakes as a treat maybe?” I mused, looking over at him. That life I was moving on toward? I was ready to get to it, and that included making chocolate chip pancakes for the kids, putting them to bed, and then, if I was lucky, having my man to myself for a few hours.
I loved the lines that crinkled at the corners of his beautiful blue eyes when he smiled, as he was doing now. “Yeah, baby. I’m sure they will. As for me, I’ll skip the chocolate chips and have my dessert later.” The deep rasp of his voice had heat coursing through my veins.
This life of mine, it was beautiful.
Chapter 37
I woke up to the familiar yet tingle-inducing rasp of Cal’s whiskers as his lips trailed the crest of my shoulder toward my neck. A quick glance outside confirmed that it was barely dawn.
It was a big day for us and clearly my man was ready to start it off right.
His hand slid down my belly, slipping into my panties as his teeth found purchase on my neck.
I pressed back into his hardness, inspired by the low groan he emitted in response. His fingers pressed to my core, working the magic that always had me on the edge faster than I could believe.
When he slipped inside me from behind I pressed back into him, eager to have him take me, to have him consume me. His fingers continued their ministrations, pushing me up over the crest, his name a quiet cry from my lips as I hurtled over the edge.
His thrusts became more rapid, less controlled, and I knew he was close. His arms encircled me, pulling me closer as his growled release hit my ear.
We lay still, entwined for a few minutes as our breathing slowed. He kissed my neck reverently as my hands rested on his forearms, keeping him close to me. I murmured my protest when I lost his heat a few minutes later. He slipped out of bed to clean up, bringing a washcloth back for me when he returned.
He seemed to enjoy cleaning me as much as I loved having him do it. We were just settling back in bed when the creak of the door sounded. “Good timing,” Cal rumbled with a relieved laugh.
When Emmie slipped in already dressed in the pink dress I’d told her she could wear today, my heart nearly burst at the sight. She’d managed to get it almost all the way on by herself, and her favorite sparkly headband sat crooked in her hair.
“Hi baby, you look so pretty.” I smiled at her. “It’s so early though—you can stay in your PJs for a while longer if you want to,” I suggested hopefully, knowing it was useless. When Emmie set her mind to something, there wasn’t any changing it. Especially when there were pretty dresses involved.
She shook her head adamantly as Cal reached out, helping her onto the bed. “It’s adopton day,” she reminded us with wide excited eyes.
Cal smiled, stroking her hair back from her face, putting her headband in further disarray. “Yeah, baby, it’s adoption day,” he confirmed with a smile as Max peeked his head in. “Hi, bud,” Cal greeted.
“Bubs is whining,” Max informed us matter-of-factly as he climbed up onto the bed.
“I’ll go get him.” I nodded, sliding out of bed to grab Mason. I was soon resituating myself on the bed with a wriggly, grunting Mason in tow.
“It’s adopton day, Max!” Emmie was squealing.
“It’s adop-tion,” Max enunciated, rolling his eyes at his sister. “You never say it right.”
Since we’d been approved to adopt the kids just a few days ago we’d been planning for today. We’d talked to the kids about what it meant—that we were becoming a family, that we would all have the same last name.
We wanted them to understand what a big deal it was, but we also wanted it to be fun, for it to be a celebration, hence Emmie all dolled up in her favorite dress.
“Do you have any more questions, bud?” I asked Max gently. He’d had a lot of questions at first.
“Do I get to ride a motorcycle like Cal? I want to be in the club too.”
At seven, it seemed as though the Knights had their youngest prospect. I inwardly groaned. I was in no hurry to have Max grow up.
Cal chuckled. “Someday, bud. By the time you’re old enough, your brother will have taken the reins,” he explained, referring to Cole. “You’ll have to take it up with him.” He grinned and I could tell the idea pleased him.
It was the first I’d heard Cal mention taking a step back from the club and I made a mental note to ask him about it later.
“Emmie, how about you?” I asked, watching as she tried to fix her headband. I reached over to give her a hand. She seemed to ponder my question.
“Mason will be my brother?”
“Yeah, sweetie.” I smiled. “He’s getting a new last name today too,” I added with a warm look at Cal. We weren’t just adopting Max and Emmie today. He was adopting Mason too. The thought warmed me from the inside out. “You’re a big sister. That’s pretty exciting.”
She clapped her hands at the realization. “Now he has to do what I tell him!”
I raised a brow at Cal. We certainly had our hands full with our sweet Emmie.
“We get two brothers.” Max spoke, wise beyond his years as usual. “Mason and Cole.”
I pulled him in for a quick hug. “Two brothers and Gracie, and baby Tate as….” I realized for the first time that Gracie and Tate would technically be their niece and nephew. “Cousins,” I settled on. Our family would never be traditional
and that was more than fine with me. It felt perfect in an imperfect sort of way. “It’s a big exciting day.” I grinned.
“And a mommy and a daddy,” he added seriously. “We get that today, too.”
I fought the ragged breath that tried to escape. Cal and I hadn’t wanted to push the kids to think of us as their parents. Not until they were ready. I looked over at Cal, whose expression was warmer than I’d ever seen. “Yeah, honey,” I managed over the lump in my throat. “A mommy and a daddy too.”
After breakfast, we headed to our hearing. Butterflies erupted in my stomach as we neared the courthouse. I saw Patrick, our lawyer, waiting out front with our social worker.
This was really happening.
The realization hit me hard as Cal and I both got the kids out of the SUV and walked toward the courthouse steps. I carried Mason while Cal took the hands of both Max and Emmie.
“Ready?” Mrs. Morse asked me with a smile. Over the course of her last two visits she’d been warmer toward us.
I blew out a nervous breath. “Ready.”
I had to suck that breath right back in when we walked into the courtroom. What looked like the entire club lined every pew.
My breath caught at their show of support. Sophie beamed at me, offering a thumbs-up when I caught her eye.
“Wook, Jilly! Everyone is here!” Emmie exclaimed happily. I watched Cole shoot her a wink and a wave.
“Yes, baby. They’re all here,” I rasped, squeezing her hand as we moved to stand in front of the judge.
Patrick issued a statement that confirmed our intention to formally adopt Max and Emmie followed by a statement confirming Cal’s intent to adopt Mason.
The judge pushed his glasses up his nose and turned his attention toward the kids. “So, Max, what do you think about all this?” he asked kindly. “Do you want to live with your aunt and Mr. Jackson?”
We’d been told the judge might want to ask the kids a few questions.
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