“Selena…”
“No,” Selena insisted, her eyes narrowing, “she’s Norse. Of course she’s lying. We need to find an Irish psychic.”
“Avery wouldn’t lie. And what does her ancestry have to do with anything?”
“The Norse fought against the Tuatha Dé in the war in the Otherworld, and they and the Slavs are just waiting for their chance to kill off the rest of our pantheon! Badb said…” Selena pressed her lips together when Cameron’s expression reflected his concern that she was losing her mind after all. She closed her eyes and recalled every detail of the night before: Badb’s explanations, having dinner with her and watching reruns of Cheers, staying with her until she fell asleep so she wouldn’t be alone, but especially her insistence that she had to make peace with Cameron. But Selena couldn’t make peace with someone who thought she was crazy and could no longer trust her, and if it were so important to Badb, then she should get her cranky old ass back here and give him his memories back.
“I have to go,” Selena said softly. “Cameron…” Selena bit the inside of her cheek and the sharp pain momentarily distracted her from the emotional pain of yet another goodbye. “Thank you. For everything.”
“Selena,” Cameron grabbed her hand and held it tightly. Selena couldn’t free it from his grasp. “You can’t take off. Not now. There are too many gods chasing you, and you’d be on your own. We’ll help you.”
“Let go of me,” Selena demanded. “You warned me not to trust any god and I’ve placed my trust in one. If she wants me to do what she asks of me now, then she’ll have to cooperate with me, too. I’m not playing the crazy girl that everyone treats with kid gloves.”
“Ok,” Cameron hurriedly agreed, “I won’t treat you that way. I promise.”
Selena shook her head and tugged on her hand but he still wouldn’t let go. “If you want to promise me something, then promise me you’ll keep an open mind if Badb tries to talk to you again. And take the damn spear from them. I don’t know what you’re supposed to do with it because this is the twenty-first century and who the hell even fights with spears anymore, but I know you need it.”
Cameron blew a slow breath through his lips, and Selena suspected he would tell her anything he thought she wanted to hear right now to prevent her from leaving. “All right, Selena. I’ll take the spear.”
“Why do you hate them? Why don’t you trust the gods, even your own?”
Cameron swallowed and looked at their hands and deflected. “Will you stay? I promised, just as you asked.”
“Why won’t you answer me?”
“I don’t…” Cameron shook his head and clenched his jaw and Selena tugged on her hand again.
“Cameron, let go.”
He reluctantly released her hand but immediately begged, “Selena, please don’t do this. Don’t leave.”
“Be careful, Cameron. A war is coming with Quetzalcoatl. Don’t get involved. Let the gods fight it.”
He followed her back to his front door, pleading with her the entire time to stay, but after twenty-six years, she was tired of the gods’ games. She was tired of living in the shadows of the gods: one of them but not one of them, a game piece in a competition only they understood. If her life and fate were really so important to the Tuatha Dé, then Badb would compromise, accept that she couldn’t demand constant sacrifices from her while getting nothing in return.
Selena walked to the gas station down the street and used the pay phone to call a cab then had it bring her to the Baton Rouge airport. She stood at the ticket counter, reading over her limited choices. She opted for Atlanta, simply because the flight had available seats and was leaving in an hour. She also knew someone in Atlanta who could make her a new fake ID, which is how she’d gotten the one that identified her as Angela Winger.
It didn’t take her long to find her gate given the small size of the airport and she sank into one of the chairs close to a window, dejected but proud, scared but oddly calm. She sensed someone approaching her and didn’t need to look up at the old woman to know Badb had followed her to the airport.
“What do you think you’re doing?” Badb asked, her voice angry in a maternal, scolding kind of way.
“What does it look like I’m doing?” Selena retorted.
“Running away from a difficult situation instead of facing it,” Badb snapped. “Not listening to me.”
Selena laughed and shook her head. “You said Avery would vouch for me, and guess what? She told Cameron my thoughts yesterday were all jumbled and chaotic like I really was out of it.”
“Huh,” Badb responded. She sat back in her chair and tapped her fingers against her wrinkled cheek. “Well, I’m not a mind reader, Selena. But if she’s lying, then Thor has probably already contacted her and gotten her to turn against us, which means Cameron may be in even more danger than we realized.”
Selena rolled her eyes and stared out the window as a jet taxied to a nearby gate. “If you’re so worried about Cameron, then stop playing games. Give him his memories back and let us figure this out together.”
Badb sighed and Selena risked a brief glance at her. The old goddess shot a menacing glare in the direction of a man who tried to sit too close to them, and he picked up his carryon and moved farther away. “Can’t. He’s not ready.”
Selena crossed her arms and glared at the goddess. “Cut this shit out,” she hissed. “You want me to cooperate with you, then you cooperate with me. Nobody else has to know about you and I won’t mention it to anyone again, but I won’t go back unless Cameron can trust me again.”
Badb tilted her head at Selena, those beady eyes studying her, her thin pale lips turned up in a knowing smile. “Interesting. Tell me. How much have you trusted Cameron since meeting him?”
Selena felt her cheeks flushing, but she didn’t back down. “I trust him now because I’ve trusted you. And you know damn well I have every reason to be suspicious of each god and demigod I meet.”
Badb continued to study her, but Selena didn’t look away. Badb finally shrugged and smoothed out her long black robe. “This angry side of you is new. I like it. Fierce. Warrior. Fitting for a Gaelic goddess.”
“I’m not a goddess,” Selena muttered.
Badb waved her off. “Close enough. Some demigods are far more powerful than others, and you are one of them, which is why your destiny is so closely tied to the fate of the Tuatha Dé.”
“Who else is still alive? Aside from you and your sisters. Will I ever get to meet any of the others?”
Badb shrugged again. “As you know, we don’t age but we can be killed. Nuada and Lugh are dead, of course, which is why it’s so important to get Cameron to trust us. Why it’s so important to find Nuada’s descendant, the one who inherited most of his power.”
“If that’s the way it works… then Dian Cécht must be dead.”
Badb nodded. “For a long time.”
Selena sighed and listened to the announcement that her plane would be boarding soon then turned to Badb, hoping her expression conveyed how badly she wanted the goddess to stop being so damn stubborn and let her stay. “I don’t understand, Badb. Why do you keep saying Cameron isn’t ready but in the same breath, insist I need to stick with him? Why don’t you trust me to convince him we need to work with you and find the Unbreakable Sword?”
Badb’s lips turned into that sly grin again and her beady eyes raked over Selena’s body. “Oh, I bet you can be awfully persuasive when you want to be.”
Selena narrowed her eyes at the goddess and hissed, “Don’t make me figure out how to curse you.”
Badb cackled and shook her head. “I’ll make you a deal. We will see how serious Cameron is about his commitment to you. It’s in his blood, but he’s ignoring much of what’s driving him right now. If he finds you within three days, I will uncloak his memories. If not…” Badb looked away from her and reached into a bag Selena hadn’t noticed before. She probably didn’t have it before now. Badb pulled her own plane t
icket out of the black bag and Selena snickered when she noticed the gold fleur-de-lis on the side.
“Saints fan?” she asked.
Badb shrugged and smiled. “When in Rome.”
Selena fingered the edges of her own plane ticket and watched a loud group of people approach the gate, preparing to board. “And if he doesn’t find me in three days?”
“Then his memories will remain cloaked, and I’m afraid he may be turning his back on us all. He may never accept his destiny, Selena.”
“His destiny… to protect me? But he will! He’s already been doing that for weeks,” Selena argued.
Badb shook her head slowly and clutched her bag in her old weathered hands. “Where are we going to stay? You grew up near Atlanta…”
“Badb!” Selena interrupted. “Just answer my goddamn questions!”
“Which god is damning your questions? Me?”
Selena groaned and rolled her eyes, already wondering if having Badb along for this trip would be a blessing or a curse.
“I told you,” Badb said quietly. “You both have more important destinies than you realize. Cameron is supposed to fulfill his first by taking the Spear of Lugh. Since Lugh is dead, his power has transferred to one of his descendants, and we’ve been waiting a long time for him. When Cameron accepts the Spear, he will become one of us and join the Tuatha Dé.”
“No,” Selena whispered. “You were going to trick him. You didn’t tell him that would happen when Macha brought the Spear to him.”
“We didn’t need to tell him. I’ve told you, Child. It’s in him. Some part of him already knew what accepting the Spear would do to him, which is why he backed away from it.”
“This is hopeless then,” Selena murmured. “Cameron will never agree to become a god.”
“Perhaps not,” Badb agreed. “But we can do nothing about it. Fate chooses who will replace us after we die. If Cameron will not become the next sun god, then he’ll leave a permanent hole in our pantheon. There is no second choice.”
Selena swallowed and met Badb’s eyes, who seemed to anticipate what she wanted to ask but was afraid to. Badb patted her hand and smiled at her again. “I told you, Selena. You are more important to us than you realize. Whose history are you tied to?”
“Dian Cécht’s,” Selena answered softly, but her mind felt numb.
“And who was his father?”
Selena shook her head. “The sources are conflicting. Some say Esarg and others the Dagda.”
Badb nodded and watched a line of people forming in front of them to board the plane. “His father was the Dagda. And the Dagda brought one of our treasures from an island city.”
“The Cauldron,” Selena breathed.
“Which has been missing for hundreds of years. You can’t take your place among the Tuatha Dé without it, but when you’re not doubting yourself, you can heal almost as well as Dian Cécht without it. Your power is incredible, Selena. We have to prioritize finding the Unbreakable Sword because I’m afraid we can’t win another war against our enemies without it.”
The last-call to Atlanta announcement startled Selena and she dropped her ticket. Badb scooped it up then pulled Selena to her feet, grinning at her as if their somber and ominous conversation had never taken place. “Get ready to show me a good time. I like playing a tourist.”
Selena snorted and handed her ticket to the attendant at the gate. “Yeah, I’m an authority on showing people how to have a good time. Any chance your definition of fun is hiding in a library or cowering in a hotel room?”
Badb handed her ticket to the cute man behind the counter and winked at him. “Depends on who’s in the hotel room with me.”
Selena thought she saw the man grimace and tried not to laugh.
Badb slept the entire way to Atlanta. Selena alternated between staring out the plane window and obsessing about Cameron following her or not following her, accepting his role on the Irish pantheon or rejecting it, accepting or rejecting her for wanting to become one of the Tuatha Dé, and watching Badb sleep. She had no idea why the sight of a goddess sleeping was so fascinating to her since world mythologies were filled with gods behaving in very human ways, especially when it came to eating, drinking, and sex. But Badb looked so normal, like she really could be her grandmother – albeit a slightly witch-like grandmother – with her wrinkled face tipped back and her mouth hanging slightly open, a quiet snore emanating from her throat.
Badb stirred when the pilot announced they were about to descend and Selena’s stomach flipped, both from excitement and nervousness. She looked away from the window and smiled at Badb, whose small dark eyes had opened and were watching her. Selena smiled back at her. “I’m home,” she said.
Over the next two days, Selena tried to keep up with the goddess who insisted on touring Atlanta in her guise as an old woman. Selena kept pouting that if she was going to drag her all over the city non-stop, then she should at least have the courtesy to appear as a young woman because she was making her look bad. They toured the Georgia Aquarium, which Selena hadn’t been to since she was a child. Badb placed a wrinkled hand on the glass tank with the Beluga whales and Selena watched, astonished, as one swam to the goddess and pressed its face against her palm.
Selena tried it, too, but the whales ignored her. She gave Badb a hopeful look and the goddess smiled at her and nodded toward her hand as the whale backed away from the glass then pressed its nose against the same place Selena held her hand. “Any chance I can have one in the Otherworld?” Selena asked quietly.
Badb shook her head. “They belong in this one.”
Selena left her hand on the glass as long as she could before Badb dragged her away to look at the penguins. She spent the rest of the day rubbing her fingers across her palm, trying to remember the way the cool glass had felt against her skin as she watched the magnificent creature on the other side. Badb was right: they belonged in this world. But she had no idea in which world she belonged.
At night, Badb wanted to shoot pool and Selena reluctantly took her to a bar close to their hotel where she eventually cheated and used her telekinesis just so she could win a game. Badb drank Guinness after Guinness without it having any effect on her and Selena finally asked her what the point of drinking alcohol was if she never got drunk. Badb shrugged and told her, “I’m Irish. I have to drink beer.”
“That’s just a stereotype,” Selena said. “And not a very nice one. Cameron doesn’t even drink.”
Badb just smiled and shrugged again. “He’s still denying his ancestry and all that.”
“You are just a cranky old goddess,” Selena teased.
Badb nodded in agreement then told her to stop cheating or she’d approach the tattooed man at the bar who kept staring at her and tell him her granddaughter wanted to buy him a drink. Selena stopped cheating because she didn’t think Badb was bluffing.
She didn’t let them return to their hotel room until after two in the morning then tried to drag her out of bed at nine so they could go to Six Flags. Selena groaned and pulled the blankets over her head and told her to go by herself. She didn’t even like roller coasters.
Badb yanked the covers off and told her she rarely got to roam around cities on Earth just having fun. She wasn’t going to waste her time lying in bed sleeping all day, and she wasn’t going alone. Selena sulked the entire drive out to the park then sulked in the ticket line and tried to drag her feet as Badb hauled her to the Goliath roller coaster, but the old woman was freakishly strong.
She wanted to sulk as she sat in the roller coaster car and the harness lowered over her chest but she was too busy trying not to pee all over herself.
She screamed the entire time.
Badb thought it was funny.
Selena flipped her off and told her she was a witch in disguise, and it wasn’t much of a disguise.
Badb thought that was funny, too.
At least the cooler temperatures meant the water park was closed so Selena couldn’t b
e coerced into going there as well. After Badb dragged her on every vomiting-inducing roller coaster in the park, and tried to make peace by buying her a funnel cake and cotton candy, she led Selena back to their rental car and agreed to eat dinner at the hotel. But after dinner, she wanted to go out again. Selena locked herself in the bathroom and told the goddess she was on her own. The room got suspiciously quiet so Selena cracked the door open and glimpsed the beautiful, golden haired young woman applying lipstick in the mirror above the desk.
Selena crossed her arms and arched an eyebrow at her. Badb shrugged a porcelain shoulder at her and smiled. “If you’re not coming with me, I have to find other ways to entertain myself.”
“Oh, God,” Selena groaned.
“Goddess,” Badb corrected.
“Do not bring anyone back here,” Selena warned.
“Of course not,” Badb said, waving a hand at her as if that were the most absurd thing she’d ever heard. “And you don’t leave this room. Promise me.”
Selena nodded and assured her she had absolutely no intention of going anywhere. She had already changed into her pajamas and was going to put a movie on, preferably a Marvel one, dig herself under the covers and try not to feel sorry for herself.
Badb stopped applying the eyeliner over her eyelids and backed away from the mirror. “Why are you feeling sorry for yourself? You aren’t seriously that upset with me over the theme park.”
Selena snickered and sat on the edge of the bed. “No. Admittedly, it was a little more fun than I let on, mostly when we weren’t on the roller coasters that were flipping me upside down. It’s just that Cam…”
Selena lowered her eyes and stared at the back of her hands. Cameron had been tracking her for months. If he had wanted to follow her to Atlanta, getting here wouldn’t have been difficult for him. And tomorrow would be the third day. She was trying to force herself to accept that he just didn’t want to, that his devotion to her had been solely because it was somehow etched in his DNA and not in his heart.
Badb sat beside her on the bed and put an arm around her, the golden metallic bracelets she wore clanking together as she hugged her. “I’m thousands of years old, Selena, and I still don’t understand men. I love them, but I don’t understand them. I will do my best to help you find the Unbreakable Sword, but I can’t be absent from the Otherworld for long periods of time. It’s too dangerous for the Tuatha Dé.”
Shadows of the Gods (The Unbreakable Sword Series Book 1) Page 14