"Got it, boss," Jensen said. He lowered his eyes and asked in a lower voice, "How's she doing?"
He was asking about Kaia, and Ash knew it. Why wouldn't he want to know how his wife was doing? "She's good, I think."
"I heard she didn't get wings when you asked for them," Jensen said.
Why couldn't his employees keep their mouths shut? "That's true," Ash told him, "But it's only because she hasn't made the decision to stay with us yet. I have no doubt that given time, she will."
"I would be happy to help," Jensen offered.
"I know," Ash answered. "Let's just wait a little longer, though. I have a feeling that this will all play out exactly as it is supposed to."
***
"Let's get you back to Ash," Lacy said to Kaia. "He's gonna want to know what we found out."
"Okay," Kaia agreed. She was still a little concerned about not getting her wings. Was she not worthy of them? Did God not want her to have them? She did kill herself and twenty-seven other people over the course of her life. It was within her job, but Kaia knew each and every face that she had killed in the line of duty. Taking a life was taking a life, no matter the situation.
"Stop fretting," Lacy said seriously. "You'll get them when you decide to stay."
"But I did decide to stay," Kaia argued. "I said I would."
"Your heart's not in it yet," Lacy told her. "But soon, it will be. I have faith."
"I'm glad you do," Kaia said as Lacy opened the heavy doors to Ash's office.
"I can do that," a voice Kaia recognized said as she entered the office. The man it belonged to had his back to the door, but just the way he stood was familiar to her. Ash looked up and when he saw her his eyes blazed red. What had she done? Should she have knocked first?
"What are you doing in here?" Ash snarled as he stood from his desk.
"Cool your jets big guy," Lacy said, unafraid of her leader. "We have something that might be helpful."
"Get out!" Ash shouted so loudly that the walls shook.
The other man in the office turned around to see what the issue was and when Kaia saw him, her heart stopped. "Jensen?" she whispered.
"Kaia," he said on a relieved sigh. "You're here."
Kaia shook her head, no longer concerned with Ash who was ranting and raving like a mad man. Why was she seeing Jensen again? They weren't in Lust anymore. He couldn’t be there. Her mind was playing tricks on her. It had to be. He wasn't there. Jensen was in Heaven where he belonged, not here in Hell. She took a couple of steps backward. This was not real.
Jensen couldn't believe his eyes. He had known Kaia was there, but to see her? It was like a cool wave on a sunburn. A tall drink to a thirsty man. She was every bit as beautiful as he remembered—petite, short red hair that framed her pixie face, gorgeous eyes that were staring at him in disbelief. Ash was telling the truth that she didn't know he was there. Without thinking, he closed the distance between them and took her into his arms. She stiffened at his touch, but Jensen didn't let go. He held her to his body tighter and breathed in her scent. Oh how he had missed her. She felt so perfect, so right, against his body. He hadn't realized how much he had needed her until she was actually there with him.
"You're not real," Kaia said against his chest. "I can't believe this. You're not real. I won't be fooled again." She shoved him away from her. "I know this isn't real. I don’t know how you followed me out, but go away."
"Kaia," Jensen said softly, "I am real."
Ash stepped between them. "This is exactly why I warned you to stay away from her!"
"Hang on now," Lacy said, getting in the mix. "They know each other?"
"Kaia is my wife," Jensen said firmly.
"He isn't real," Kaia continued, shaking her head and taking a step back.
"Is he what you saw in Lust?" Lacy asked with a raised brow.
Kaia nodded. "I don't know how the illusion followed me. I must want it so much."
"I am freaking real," Jensen said again.
"Why the fuck doesn't anyone listen to me?" Ash bellowed.
"I assure you, he is very real," Lacy said to Kaia. "Jensen has been with us for a few months now. He's the leader of Murder." Then she turned to glare at Ash. "Is he the reason you wanted her kept out of Murder?"
"He is exactly the reason why!" Ash yelled. His wings erupted in black fire, smoke billowing throughout his office. "She couldn’t know he was here until she accepted her place!"
"Wait, so you lied to me?" Lacy asked with her hands on her hips. "You lied. To me. What the hell, Ash?"
Ash roared, and Lacy glared at him. "Not so fast," she said, sending a wave of calm to him.
"Stop that," he growled.
"Not until you are ready to listen," Lacy countered. "You should have told me. I would have known not to bring her around him. I thought since she was a suicide that you didn't want her suffering the way Lucas did. But no, you had other ideas. I don’t know why you thought keeping this from her would be any kind of help, but it's not. She has every right to know all the facts before she decides her own fate. You had no right to lie to her."
"I didn't lie to her," Ash said calmly, unable to fight Lacy's powerful gift.
"You did," Lacy continued. "You lied by omission, and that is just as bad, if not worse. You owe all of us an apology. We could have wrapped this up so much sooner than this if you had only been completely honest with us."
"You have no right to question me," Ash growled, pushing some of his anger through her calm.
"That's the beauty of it, I do. I can question you, and I can refuse to work for you. It's all part of the agreement meant to keep you balanced. Without us, you are susceptible to the power you wield. We are what keeps you on the side of good, and you know it." Lacy crossed her arms over her chest, knowing her argument was solid.
"I ask that things get done around here a certain way for a reason," Ash muttered.
It was then that Kaia pulled herself out of denial and allowed herself to see the truth that was right in front of her. Jensen was there. In Hell. Had that been the reason he died? To serve in Hell? What about Callie? Had it all been part of the plan? "Did you do it?" she asked in a low voice that belied the chaos going on inside of her. "Did you cause that crash?"
"Of course not," Ash answered her. "I would never do that. I just took Jensen at the time of his death. The crash was destiny. Not my call."
"Why did I live?" Kaia asked him. There had to be a reason she was the sole survivor. "If you knew I was to be one of your guard, then why did I survive? What kind of God does that?" She could feel her anger rising within her chest, and it was all she could do not to lose control of it.
"Look," Ash said, becoming more reasonable without help from Lacy. "I didn't know that Jensen would accept my offer. I just knew he was going to die anyway and that he would be a great addition to my team. I knew you would follow, but not yet. I made sure Antonio protected you. You had to live a while longer."
Protected her? "What about Callie?" Kaia asked. "Why did she have to die?"
"It was just her time," Ash answered her. He didn't like where this line of questioning was going.
"So you could protect me, but not my child?" Kaia asked, her voice growing louder with every word. "You let Jensen die, Callie die, but not me? You forced me to live with the pain of losing them when it wasn't necessary? Why couldn’t my baby live?" Her anger had escalated into full blown fury by that point. Fire flashed in her eyes and she grit her teeth together so hard it hurt.
"I don't get to decide who lives and who dies," Ash told her.
"But you had Antonio protect me," she reminded him. "How do you know I wasn't supposed to die with them?"
"I don’t!" Ash yelled, leaning forward. The wings at his back twitched as if they were itching to take flight and were just barely contained. "But if you had, you wouldn’t have agreed to work with me. You would have went on to your destiny, which by the way, is an eternity in hell. Murder to be exact because you
took your own life!"
"I wouldn’t have committed suicide if my family hadn't been ripped away from me!" Kaia shouted back at him.
Antonio had slipped into the room at some point during the episode, but he went unnoticed. Lacy and Jensen were standing by, watching the pair argue and he went over to join them. "I told him she was gonna be pissed," he whispered.
Lacy nodded in agreement. Jensen was smiling like an idiot. That was his wife, the take no shit, take no prisoners Secret Service Agent he knew and loved.
"You would have died anyway!" Ash yelled back at her. His anger exploded from him like a wave of energy, barreling toward everyone in the room.
Kaia knew she was well and truly fucked. He was going to incinerate her and there was nothing she could do to stop him. But what about Jensen and Lacy? They were in the room too. She had to protect her husband. All this went through her mind in the millisecond that it took for Ash’s wave of fury to cross the distance between them. As soon as Kaia made the decision to protect Jensen, something happened.
A warmth like nothing she had ever felt before surrounded her. It wasn’t menacing or dangerous, but instead, it felt like love. Like a warm hug from a loving father. Bright, white light surrounded her and blocked the energy blast from Ash, protecting her and those who stood behind her. Kaia felt her feet leave the floor as she was lifted by some unseen force. The warmth centered on her back and then morphed into a blazing inferno. Kaia cried out from the pain, her back bowing as she hung suspended in the air. Even though she was in pain, Kaia wasn’t afraid. Fear was the furthest thing from her mind. Her instinct to protect was even stronger than it was before. She would do whatever it took to protect Jensen, no matter who it was from.
The pain subsided nearly as fast as it had begun and Kaia drifted slowly back to the floor. As her feet touched the carpeting, she heard someone behind her suck in a loud breath.
“Now that’s a pair of wings,” Antonio said on a laugh.
Kaia was still staring at Ash, who was still pissed, but not firing off energy blasts anymore. He almost looked confused. She turned to see Jensen, Lacy and Antonio standing behind her with matching idiot grins on their faces. “What?” she demanded.
“Look at you,” Jensen breathed. “You are absolutely breathtaking.”
Kaia scrunched her face up and looked down at her body. She couldn’t even remember what she was wearing before, but it certainly wasn’t what she was wearing now. She was wearing a blood red shirt that fit like a second skin, her torso covered in black chainmail. Her legs were encased in black leather all the way down to the black shit kicker boots with little silver tips. “Oh wow,” she said to herself. How the hell had that happened?
“You got your wings,” Jensen said, coming to stand in front of her. “Look.” He placed his hands on her hips, just above the slender blade that rested in a holster there. He turned her to look at a mirror.
Blood red wings that reached from above her head to drag on the floor rested at her back. As she turned to get a better view, they twitched and stretched out from her body. “Amazing,” she sighed. She had gotten her wings.
“So you have decided to stay,” Ash commented.
She supposed that she had made her decision. It was also then that Kaia remembered that she was furious with Ash and spun around to face him. “You’re right. I would have died anyway, but not by my own hand," Kaia reminded him. "I had a chance at Heaven and you took it from me!" She pointed an accusing finger at him.
Ash stumbled back at her words. Even though she hadn’t touched him, he felt the jab of her finger in the middle of his chest. Had he done that? Taken away her destiny? Yes, he had. He had interfered and took the possibility of an eternity in the Heavens away from this woman. What had he become? In his haste to catch Balthazar, he had lost sight of the big picture. Right was right and wrong was wrong, and he had blurred the lines. This was why he didn’t interfere. "I'm sorry," he said in a low but genuine tone. "I didn't think."
"You got that right," she snarled at him. "Why would I ever agree to work for you? I think I would rather take my chances in-"
"Don't say it," Jensen warned her, taking her hand. "If you say it, that is exactly where you'll go. Please don't make me lose you again."
Kaia snapped her mouth shut but continued to glare at Ash. "I'm going somewhere that isn't here," she finally said. "I don’t want to talk to you for a while." She spun on her heel and went to the door. "Jensen, are you coming?"
Jensen glanced at Ash for confirmation and when he nodded, Jensen followed his wife out of the office.
"Told ya so," Antonio said from the corner of the room.
"Shut your fucking pie hole," Ash growled at him. Of course, the angel had been right. It seemed like he was always right, but Ash was just unable to listen to him. Call it being stubborn, hard headed or stupid, but any way you looked at it, he should have listened to Antonio. That made him want to kill the bastard all over again.
"So," Lacy started, "Do you want to know what we thought of?"
That was right, Lacy and Kaia had come in to tell Ash something before all hell broke loose. "Why not," Ash sighed as he flopped into his chair. He rubbed his temples in an attempt to quell the quickly progressing migraine.
"Kaia and I searched all over creation for answers. We found nothing at Nellis, so went to see a man in New Orleans. He was something of an expert on vampires. He assured us that vampires do have souls—"
"Of course, we do, " Antonio interrupted.
"And that if there was a soul, it had to go somewhere upon death, just like humans," Lacy continued as if Antonio had not just interjected his thoughts. "Anyhow, we were talking, and she had an idea. What if the reason we can't find Jamie in Heaven or Hell is because he isn't there? What if he is somewhere else?"
"Like where?" Ash asked. There was only so many places a soul could be, right?
"Like earthbound?" Lacy said.
"That's right!" Antonio agreed. "I was earthbound for a while after I died the first time."
Lacy snapped her head in his direction. "The first time?"
Antonio grinned at her. "Yeah, I died and then my mate brought me back. Only I died again."
"Oh right, you said your mate was a necromancer," Lacy remembered. "Kaia also suggested purgatory. Is that even real?"
"Not that I know of," Ash answered her.
"But Limbo is a real place," Antonio answered thoughtfully. "It's a place that is neither here nor there, but somewhere in between. I'll get with Macy and see what she thinks. Maybe she can help us find him. If he is in Limbo, I know a gal that knows a spell." Before anyone could comment, the angel flashed himself away to do just that.
No one paid any attention to the witch in the cage. Hell it was as if she had become part of the décor, a forgotten lounge chair in the corner, a painting on the wall. Being forgotten about had its advantages, though, she thought as she watched and listened to all that the angels discussed. Limbo. It wasn’t somewhere that she had ever considered. It made sense, though. Too bad they would never find him. Jamie… that was an odd name for the hulking man only she could see. He was too big, too muscular, too bad ass for a nice name. She would have thought his name would have been more like Thor or Gigantor, but who was she to judge. She was a powerful witch whose name was Laura.
Names notwithstanding, there wasn’t going to be any help from her. Laura would just as soon die than help the angels with anything. There was no reason for them to know that she could see this vampire. Maybe if they wanted to barter the information for her freedom… No, not even then. Laura wasn’t going to waste a single ounce of her own energy on them. Besides, he was her vampire, not theirs.
Chapter Six
Jensen had to damn near run to keep up with Kaia as she stormed through the caverns of Hell. He knew without a doubt that she didn't have a destination in mind, at least, not that she was aware of. But he did. He knew exactly where she needed to go. "Kaia," he said loudly, "Wait up."
She spun around to face him, and then glared at the space behind him, just in case someone else had decided to follow as well. No one was there. "Can you believe that guy?" she finally asked.
"I know what Ash did was wrong, but he had good intentions," Jensen told her. "I've gotten to know him, and even though he is kind of an ass, he's a good guy."
"Pfft," she answered. "I could have been with our daughter."
"Have you been to the Playground?" Jensen asked his wife. Kaia nodded. "Then you know that she is just fine. Your mother is with her every day."
"I didn't see Mom," Kaia said.
"But you saw Callie," he reminded her. "She's in a good place."
"But she'll never know we're here," Kaia said. "I should have been with her."
"I see her every single day," Jensen admitted. "But if you were with her, we would never see each other again."
"You could choose," she countered.
Jensen shook his head. "I could, but I won't. What I do here is important. I help keep the balance in the world, just like you're going to do."
"But," Kaia started, but Jensen cut her off. "I had to believe that one day we will all be together again, and so do you. You have to. It's the only way."
Kaia shook her head. “I will never be allowed in the Heavens,” she said. “I killed myself. It’s the only sin that you can’t ask forgiveness for. I belong here, in Hell. I’m sorry I wasn’t strong enough.”
“Baby,” he said softly, “you are the strongest person I know. I wouldn’t have wanted to live without you either.”
“I need a drink,” she said, more to herself than to Jensen. She began power walking once again, still with no destiny in mind.
“You could come to my quarters,” Jensen offered when they came to a split in the caverns.
“I thought the realm would take me,” she said.
Jensen shook his head. “No, I mean you could come to where I sleep. It’s not the same place.”
Kaia smiled in spite of herself. “Are you asking me if I want to come to your room?”
“Bet your ass I am,” he grinned.
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