Down, girl, she told her wolf, who whined impatiently.
In the privacy of Rogue’s room, she and Rifter joined hands and she grabbed Rogue’s cool one. They were sitting on the floor next to the bed and Rifter pulled her into a deep slumber easily.
His powers were getting stronger. Hers seemed stagnant, beyond the fact that, because of their bond, she was linked to his dreamwalking into Rogue’s mind. And from what they said, it was no trip to Disney.
She moved through the familiar bowels of what looked like hell to her, stayed away from the walls dripping with blood and entered the room where Rogue lay, the mare on his chest, marking him and cackling. The familiar torture of random people went on all around him, the way it had the last time.
“Too dangerous for you to be here. I told you not to come back.”
“Jinx moved out,” Rifter said instead of dealing with Rogue’s statement.
Rogue glanced at him. “Your alpha’s really showing, isn’t it?”
“Kate says Jinx is evil,” Gwen blurted out. “I can’t believe that’s true, but …”
“If that’s what the witch sees …” Rogue trailed off and shut his eyes. The markings on the side of his face were darker now. He muttered something under his breath. “Tell the witch to leave the mare. I sing to her and she seems to like it.”
Rogue had gone too long without a shift. The mare had started scratching him along his neck and chest, and the marks were showing up on Rogue’s motionless body.
“What about the ghost army?” Rifter asked. “Is what we think true—we should fight them?”
“You can defeat most of it, but some will escape, no matter what. And the demons are turning bad. Well, turning against their makers—Seb and by extension, the politicians and the Weres who are possessed. Kate needs to do what she can against the army—it will be enough for now.”
At Rogue’s words, Rifter jerked away from Gwen. “There’s got to be something more we can do.”
“For me? Not likely. Not soon, anyway. Let Kate focus on the ghost army now,” Rogue insisted.
“We can’t leave you here like this.”
“You have no choice. Just fucking go, and don’t come back.” Rogue closed his eyes and he started to sing, low and sweet. The mare began to giggle in a psychopathic way and clap her hands.
Rifter tugged Gwen back from the abyss and for a long while, they held on to each other in Rogue’s room, feeling like they’d already completely lost him.
*
Physical strength, when combined with emotional fortitude, was unbeatable. Over the past twenty-four hours, Kate trained both as if her life depended on it. She still wasn’t quite sure what would happen to her if she failed.
Vice helped her in the gym room she’d run to that first night—her cheeks burned with those memories every time she walked in there, and if the wolf noticed, he never said.
Jinx went over spells with Stray and Gwen and they helped her. Gwen was new, she’d called it. A little hard to control, Stray said. Kate watched with more-than-mild jealousy the ease with which Gwen and Rifter climbed all over each other.
Stray was still standoffish, but she swore he was thinking about her an awful lot.
As his weapon. No matter how she tried to pretend there was more, she couldn’t.
He comes when you call him … because of magic.
She was pretty sure he hated her for it. She tried not to call on him without warning him, but sometimes it just happened and he was there at her side. Glowering.
He was glowering now, even though she couldn’t see him, since he rode in front, Vice in the back with her. Kate wondered if insisting on going to the cemetery had been the best of ideas.
Trust yourself.
That was her voice, or maybe it was Lila’s, but either way, she needed to listen. And as they walked in through the opened iron gates, she spotted Jinx and Jez together by the ruins of what was once a mausoleum.
“I’ve got to talk to him,” she said, was surprised when neither wolf protested. She walked toward them and Jez nodded and took leave, while Jinx remained rooted in place, watching her warily.
“You’re …”
“Evil, I know,” Jinx said tightly.
“No, that’s not it.”
“Well, at least you’re not collapsing this time,” Jinx said wryly.
“This isn’t right—not at all,” she murmured. “I want to help … but I can’t.”
Jinx nodded. “I agree.”
“It’s not … because of you.”
“Why can you suddenly stand being in my presence?”
“I spoke to Rogue,” she said. His eyes widened. “I’ll keep your secret for now.”
He turned away, stared up at the sky.
“I know it’s not your fault—you were tricked,” she continued.
He turned. “Guess you were, too, since Rogue told you to help me with the Dire ghost army.”
She frowned at the truth of that statement. “Maybe I misinterpreted something with him. I definitely did with you. You’re not evil—you’re a pawn. I know one when I see one.”
“I should be offended by that, but I don’t think you mean it that way.”
“I don’t, Jinx. I really don’t.” She held out her hand for him to shake. “We can work together, okay?”
He grasped it firmly and she noted the pain in his eyes, the burden from the secret he carried.
It was then that the others joined around them, because Jinx had ripped his gaze from her and gone still, his hand still on hers. She heard Stray’s growl of possessiveness and tugged her hand away, not wanting to be the cause of any further strife.
Stray’s wolf relaxed momentarily. She was surprised he hadn’t shifted forms yet. It seemed to be the only way he could handle being around her at this point. But that thought soon faded as something whooshed by her head.
“I don’t normally see ghosts. Can witches see them?”
“No,” Stray told her.
“Maybe being with me and Jinx is like the perfect storm,” Vice said. “Besides, do you really think we’re going to question when weird, unexplained things happen among us? I don’t give a shit how or why it happens, just that it does. You want to figure out how, good luck. But the unexplained is usually that way for a reason, and sometimes it makes things a hell of a lot more fun to just roll with it.”
Kate didn’t have time to ponder before the apparitions floated around her. She fought the urge to swat them away, because it made her uncomfortable as anything.
Jinx looked so relaxed, used to it, but his eyes were lupine, belying what she saw on the outside. “It’s not the ghost army.”
“Rogue told me I could help with them—with you. But I think he was lying.”
Jinx’s eyes went to hers. “What makes you think that?”
“The words he spoke in my head didn’t match the movement of his lips. It was like he was layering thoughts to keep me off balance.”
“Or to keep Seb from knowing what he was saying. The mare reports directly back to the Adept,” Jinx said. “You’ve got to go back over what he told you and figure out what to do. But you and I both know, we can’t stop the ghost army with your powers, no matter how strong. Your job lies in dealing with Seb. No question.”
Chapter 44
After Kate got back from the cemetery, she sat in the middle of the bed in the guest room and stared at the grimoire. Put her hands on it and knew that what Jez told her was right. It was inside her—she had the answers.
And Stray still wouldn’t deal with her.
A knock on the door made her look up. Her heart leapt, even though she knew it wasn’t Stray. “Come in.”
Gwen stuck her head in. “Sure you’re up to this?”
Kate nodded and Gwen came in. Kate could see the wolf working in tandem with the woman. Still half human but yet somehow immortal, Gwen was the closest thing to her ally in this house now that Stray had locked her out.
Gwen sat on
the bed next to her, tucking her bare feet under her. “You were at the meeting. You know what needs to be done.”
“I do. And I’m planning. I’ll be ready.”
“The full moon’s so close—days away,” Gwen said. “The time for action is now.”
“Suppose it doesn’t work?” she asked. Gwen’s face drew tight because she understood—Kate was asking if the Dires would kill her.
“It was the general plan, either way,” she admitted. “Witches and wolves, well, let’s just say there’s very little trust left there. And if you’re as powerful as everyone says …”
“You’ve painted a lovely picture,” Kate said. “So why has the plan changed?”
Gwen looked surprised that Kate didn’t know the answer to that. “Stray’s in love with you. And If I’m not mistaken, you’re in love with him, too.”
“It’s the spell.”
Gwen sat back on her heels. “A month ago, if you’d asked me about magic, I would’ve laughed at you. Now I believe anything’s possible, but I don’t think magic can force a heart to love what it doesn’t.”
Kate shook her head, wanted to believe her, but she couldn’t. After everything that had happened the other day, her vulnerability, the fact that she could take Stray down with her. “I thought I’d be safe now that I have the grimoire.”
“You are. You let Seb in and you locked him back out. You’re in control. You just didn’t fully understand the implications of the familiar bond.”
“I had to distract Seb to save Stray.”
Or Seb had gotten to her because Stray wasn’t with her.
“We’re each other’s weaknesses now—don’t you understand?”
Gwen lowered her eyes for a long moment and then looked Kate dead in the eyes. “Yes, I know something about that. My blood has the power to kill the immortal Dires. I’m the only thing on this earth and in the heavens with that power—and Rifter loves me anyway. Sometimes you have to shove back your fear and go for what you want. So Stray won’t come to you. You go to him.”
You go to him.
*
Stray had been acting like the perfect soldier—stalwart—one who’d accepted his charge and did his duty coldly. Too coldly, especially because she knew just how warm he ran.
Now he stood in the doorway of the guest bedroom, the wolf staring at her. She wanted to run her fingers through Brother’s fur, but she didn’t know if she’d be accepted. She settled for talking instead. Because she realized that she’d never apologized, and she was ready to let down her pride first for both their sakes.
“You’ve got to shift back and talk to me, Stray. I need you and not just as my familiar. We’re bonded and in more ways than this. You know that or maybe it’s scaring you. It’s scaring me, too.”
Kate tried to hold back tears, but her voice caught anyway. She turned her back to him, pressed a hand against her mouth to stop herself from saying anything more.
She heard something behind her and she turned toward Stray, expecting to see his wolf.
Instead she saw a very naked Stray. And while he didn’t look exactly happy, he had shifted back, and all because she’d asked.
That had to mean something, right? Or maybe …
“I didn’t switch because you made me. I do still have the power of free will,” Stray said.
Sometimes it was convenient that he could read her mind. Other times she could see the downside. Still … “Good, I’m glad.”
Stray moved closer to her in stages, like he wasn’t sure he was ready for that yet, but he remained naked. Unabashedly so, and she tried to stop herself from staring, because it seemed a really inappropriate time to be turned on.
His easy smile told her otherwise. “This is natural—for me, at least. I’m a beast, Kate. You said so yourself.”
“I didn’t mean it.”
“Don’t back down now. Not your style.”
“I can lash out, yes. I’m sorry. I was just—”
“Telling the truth.”
“Angry. At you. At these circumstances. You don’t understand.”
“Right.” He sighed, stared at the sky. And yes, it was time for her to do some serious groveling. She took a few steps toward him, hoping he wouldn’t back away.
He didn’t, but that wasn’t going to make this any easier.
She started again, needing to find a way to make him understand. “I’ve never had anybody. And I’ve never had any say in what I do, not since the accident. And then you tell me what I am and that you hate me.”
Speaking of hated, she hated that her voice cracked.
Stray put a hand on her shoulder. “Stop.”
“No. I’m apologizing. Let me.”
“You already did.”
“It’s not good enough.”
“It’s going to have to be,” he told her. “For a long time, I didn’t have anyone either. I do now. So do you.”
She couldn’t speak. Her throat constricted and she believed him. But the words she’d said … no matter what he told her, she needed to do more.
So she kissed him gently, first on the cheek, then kissed a path along his jaw. He stiffened, drew a harsh breath, like a tender touch was the most alien sensation in the world.
He froze for a moment, and then his arms wound around her, held her tight as he returned the kiss.
*
It didn’t stop at the kiss. Couldn’t. Stray had to kiss Kate everywhere—neck, breasts, belly. Had to taste her, spread her legs and take her with his tongue while she moaned his name, gripped his hair. Really let herself go for him.
When she came against his mouth, he made it happen again, because he could. And then he took her while she wrapped her legs around him and undulated her hips against him in a rhythm that drove them both right to the edge.
In the aftermath, Stray lay next to Kate on the floor. The post-orgasm screaming pain ceded, but it was getting worse each time he made love to her. Until this point, he’d managed to hide it among her blazing orgasms and his mind block, but she was getting stronger. Soon he wouldn’t be able to keep her out. Such was a necessity between a familiar and her witch. Still, the pain was worth it.
“That was some apology,” he told her.
“I can apologize again, if you want,” she told him with a grin.
“Cheeky witch.”
“I can’t help it—you’re that good.”
He shrugged. He’d had lots of practice and had no shame about it. “Sex for us is life. We have no worries about too much of anything.”
“That must be nice.”
He pulled her closer. “You didn’t find this nice?”
She laughed and his wolf soared. “More than.”
“We’re going to be doing a lot more,” he told her. “Is that going to be a problem for you?”
“No. Being around you seems to bring out … something raw and primal inside of me.”
“It’s the wolf—you can’t resist him.”
“No, I can’t. I’m glad both of you forgive me.”
“I didn’t forgive myself, Kate. Don’t you get it? I was angry because I let you get hurt.”
“You let me get hurt?” she asked incredulously. “I got you killed.”
“I’m still here.”
“I never want to see you like that again.”
“Yeah, well, I could go a long time without that too.”
“I understand now why you don’t think too highly of witches or humans. I have to tell you that, from what I’ve seen of both, neither do I.” She hugged herself tightly, a shield from everything. “There’s so much bad in the world—even in people’s thoughts. It’s exhausting.”
He knew it all too well. That’s why he hung with wolves, because their thoughts were primal and far more comfortable.
“If I could turn it off, make it go away, I would.”
“You’re not going to do that,” he told her.
“Your original plan was to let me die.”
“Tha
t was the original plan, but it was never mine. And it was before.”
“Before what?”
“Before I knew you. Met you. Smelled you.” He did release her then, but he stroked her chin with his thumb. “It was before I fell for you. Humans call it love—I call it fate. Whatever you want to call it, I’m in.”
“Sometimes love means having to make hard decisions,” she whispered. “You have to help me make the right one when all of this is over—for us, for your family. For the good of everyone.”
He stared at her with unblinking wolf’s eyes, and she knew she had an uphill battle.
Chapter 45
When Angus woke, darkness surrounded him, but he most definitely wasn’t dead, unless heaven was a two-bedroom loft apartment with stainless kitchen appliances and a wolf.
He sat up tentatively. He wore no shirt—or pants, for that matter—and a thin blanket covered him. The couch was leather, but Cain had laid him on a blanket. “What’s going on?”
“Business as usual,” Cain commented.
“You’re going to tell me what you did for me is normal?”
Cain gave him a crooked smile. “Not for you, it’s not.”
Angus looked down at his arm and saw the fading bite marks. “I’ve been bitten. What does that mean?”
“Means you tasted good.”
Angus stared at him. “Seriously?”
“You’re not going to howl at the moon, if that’s what you’re asking. That’s old lore. You’ll heal and you’ll be fine. One hundred percent human. It’s going to leave a hell of a scar, though. That’s one thing I can’t get rid of for you.”
Angus stared at him for a second before deciding to continue the lie. “A wolf attacked me. I saw a man change into a wolf and then he attacked me, dragged me into the woods and left me for dead.”
“I hate to be the one to break this to you, but that Were had to have had orders not to kill you, Angus.” Cain paused. “Shimmin was probably waiting to see what you’d do—who’d come for you. He doesn’t trust you’re on his side completely.”
For good reason. Angus stared down at his arms again. Both forearms were covered with bites. On further inspection, there was also one on his side, his thigh and claw marks on his shoulder.
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