Sarai had never been so thankful for her brother’s Special Forces background. He flew into town and mustered forces like a five star General. Even got his old Army pilot friend Mae Lund to do some clandestine flying.
Thankfully, Roman’s boss had been willing to break a few rules if it meant restoring glory to his department.
Roman still might do time, but hopefully it would be behind a desk. Safely behind a desk.
“ETA, twenty minutes,” Yanna said. Sarai stared out the windows. Snow crusted the edges of the helicopter pad. Beyond that, old AN-2s and military vehicles rimmed the tarmac. The base, just inside Yakutia, was run by one of Genye’s friends.
Obviously, she had a lot to learn about Anya and Genye.
In fact, they’d opened the clinic without her in time for Thanksgiving, three days ago, as planned, and Anya had found two more cases of radiation poisoning—cases she’d sent on to Moscow for advanced care.
And with the patients they had in-house, Genye started a Bible study.
Sarai’s throat felt raw and thick. She’d been holding on so tightly, she hadn’t seen God raising up her replacements.
She stuck her hands in the pockets of her parka, then took them out and clasped them in front.
Paced.
Breathed.
Wiped tears.
Stared out the window.
C’mon!
She sighed heavily as Anya came up to stand beside her. “He’ll be okay, you know.”
Yeah. Maybe physically, but she’d seen the look on Roman’s face when she said she hated him, and well, he might walk right past her with a cold nod.
She deserved that. Because, frankly, that’s what she’d done to him all those years ago.
You shattered me when you left.
Now she knew how that felt.
I’m sorry, Roman. So, so sorry.
Her eyes burned and she fought the tears. She didn’t want to be crying when she saw him. Or at least, not right away.
She heard the hum of the chopper the same time as Anya. Anya beelined to the door. Sarai followed and they stood out on the tarmac, hands in their jackets as the wind tangled their hair and the roar of the engine buzzed their ears.
She saw Roman sitting in the back next to an elderly man. The chopper landed, and David climbed out first, helping the older man out. Roman followed.
Sarai braced herself. Roman had his head down, his hair blowing in the stiff wind. He hunched over until he was clear of the whirring blades. She stayed still, watching.
Then he looked up.
She wasn’t prepared. Not for the bruises, the opened stitches over his eye, or the blood across his nose. Nor for the look in his eyes.
Longing. Sorrow.
Love.
“Sarai,” he said, and his voice sounded wrecked.
She launched herself toward him, wrapped her arms around his neck, holding tight. She felt his arms embrace her, but she didn’t let go, just buried her face in his neck and sobbed. “Roman, I’m so, so sorry. I didn’t mean what I said. Not at all. I love you. I love you so much that all I do is hurt when you’re not with me. I don’t care that you’re a cop. Just please, please forgive me. Please—”
“Sarai.”
He pulled her arms from around his neck and her heart stopped cold. Her mouth felt tinny as dread pooled in the back. She dropped her hands, unable to look at him.
He couldn’t forgive her.
She didn’t blame him.
“Sarai.” He tucked his hand under her chin. She refused to look at him.
So, he bent down, looking at her sideways, catching her reluctant attention. His eyes glistened. With tears? “I love you, too.”
Her mouth opened. Nothing came out. She looked at him. Watched his beautiful smile, saw the truth in his incredible eyes.
“I love you, Sar. I always have. All I wanted was to be enough for you and for you to trust me—the real me. The guy who sometimes gets in trouble.” His smile dimmed. “I’m sorry I failed you.”
What? “Roman, you didn’t fail me. You saved me from who knows what? And as for being enough…don’t you know that you overwhelm me? You take my breath away every second I’m with you. That’s why I ran. Because I couldn’t control you and my love for you scared me.” She swallowed, seeing suddenly the truth. “But I can’t live in fear anymore. I trust God enough to let you be who He wants you to be. Who He wants us to be. I’m sick of trying to keep you—and me—out of trouble. I give up.” She smiled and touched his face. “I just want to be with you.”
She saw when her words settled into his heart. He smiled, and it was the most delicious smile she’d ever seen. One that had her stomach curling with delight. He cupped his hands around her face. “Be with me? Does that mean you trust me?” He raised one eyebrow.
She felt a blush heat her face. Swallowed. “Yeah. I trust you, Roman.”
He kissed her. Sweetly. Gently. She felt him tremble and knew that there was passion behind his touch. She even saw it in his eyes as he pulled away and pressed her forehead to his.
“This won’t be easy,” he said softly. “But I think we can trust God to work it out, right?”
She nodded, feeling her throat thicken, and looked down. And saw him standing in the snow in his…bare feet? And he didn’t look like he was suffering from radiation poisoning, but she’ll still get him checked.
“Roman, get inside, right now!”
He grinned, tucked his arm around her, and pulled her tight against him. “Anything you say, Doc.”
They walked inside, where Vicktor and Genye were briefing Malenkov. Sarai sat Roman in a chair, opened his jacket. She tried not to gasp, but he was covered in bruises. Foot-shaped bruises.
Why did she always break out in tears around him? She’d probably have to get used to seeing bruises on him. She swallowed hard and began feeling for broken ribs.
Roman closed one eye now and again as she probed. “Who did you bring with you?” she asked. She pulled off his jacket, saw similar bruises on his back. He’d been beaten but good.
“Governor Kazlov.”
Sarai stopped. Looked at Roman. “You’re kidding. I thought he was dead.”
“He nearly was. They were going to execute him.”
“You thought they were going to execute him.” Vicktor sat next to Roman. “You didn’t recognize Artyom, Yanna’s computer tech? He wanted some fieldwork, so we sent him in.” He surveyed Roman’s face. “You’re looking sweet. Please tell me the other guy looks worse.”
Roman grimaced. “There were a lot of them. But I got a few licks in.”
He glanced at Yanna. “Is Artyom okay?”
Yanna smiled. “He called right after you took off. He’s on his way.” She glanced at Kazlov, now using Malenkov’s cell phone. “We didn’t expect the grand prize. Artyom was supposed to find your cell, and we were going to stage a breakout. He called us early this morning, when he heard about the execution orders for Kazlov. We were all counting on your hero tendencies to jump in and try and save Kazlov’s skin. And if you didn’t, Artyom was going to make sure you did. Good thing you always have to be a hero.”
“I think God is the hero here,” Roman said.
David joined them, crouched beside Sarai, and put his arm around her. “So you wanna get out of here?”
Their getaway pilot, Mae Lund, strutted into the building. Although still wearing her flight suit, she held her helmet under her arm. Her red hair had grown since Sarai had seen her last. Normally pinned up, it spilled out of the bun at the base of her neck.
“Mae!” Roman shook his head as if in disbelief as Sarai sprang to her feet and clenched her old friend in a grateful hug.
Mae glanced at Roman. “Are you ready to go home?”
David held out his hand to Roman, helping him up. “I can’t tell you how grateful I am for what you did for Sarai.”
Sarai thought she saw her brother’s eyes glisten.
“Thanks. She was worth it.” Roman
’s gaze met Sarai’s.
Everyone went quiet and Sarai searched Roman’s handsome, bruised face. She was worth it?
Roman had to have seen the question on her face, because he leaned close. “Yeah, Sarai, you’re worth it.” His voice turned rough-edged, full of emotion. “Don’t you know I’d die for you?”
Sarai closed her eyes and pulled him into her arms, not caring that David and Vicktor and even Mae watched them. She laid her head on his chest, hearing his heart beat, so very thankful for his heartbeat, his arms around her solid and protective. Reaching past her facade to the truth.
She’d been so painfully stubborn that God had to yank her into her darkest fears and shake her free of her hold on her dreams to get her to realize she did need a hero.
God. Who loved her enough to send His agent Roman Novik into her life to prove that when she surrendered one life…she found another.
Right here, in Roman’s embrace.
“I love you, Roman Novik,” she said softly. “You’re my hero.”
Discussion Questions
QUESTIONS FOR DISCUSSION
* * *
Sarai believes that she’s been called to be a doctor, and because of that, she sacrificed her relationship with Roman, whom she believed didn’t share that goal. What sacrifices have you made for something you’ve felt “called” to do?
Roman is asked to put his career on the line when David Curtiss, his best friend, calls him. Why does he make the decision he does? How do you feel about that decision? What choices have you made that could have compromised or did compromise your future for the sake of friendship?
Roman and Sarai had a summer romance, and while they haven’t seen each other for thirteen years, they still hold on to that romance. Have you ever had a summer romance, and how did it affect your life? How does that affect you today?
Roman and Sarai both notice that the other has changed. Still, the old flame quickly reignites. Why? Why is the timing better or worse now than years earlier, when they were both building their careers?
At the beginning of the book, Sarai is trapped due to world events. How have world events shaped your life?
Roman, after chasing Sarai to the dacha, confronts her with a question about trust. What is it? How does Sarai see herself in relationship to her work? How does Sarai show that she does or does not trust God?
Roman’s father died an alcoholic, similar to many Party men after the fall of Communism in Russia. Why do you think he felt so disillusioned?
When Roman breaks into the nuclear plant and then falls through the ice, Sarai makes a decision in order to save his skin. What is it? How does this event confirm in her heart everything she believes about Roman? How does it change her feelings toward him and their future?
Roman struggles with two goals: saving Sarai and arresting Governor Bednov. Why does this struggle lead to his arrest later? Why, when Vicktor shows up at the medical clinic, does Sarai feel deceived by Roman?
How do Roman’s worst fears come true? What regrets does he have? How does he, while sitting in his prison cell, see God at work in his life? How have you hung on in your own dark times in life?
Sarai is able to save Roman and, in a way, help Julia Bednova heal. How? What decisions has she made about her life and her relationship with Roman? What has happened to The Savior’s Hands Medical Clinic?
Sarai and Roman both take a look at what it means to give up their lives for Christ. What definitions of life did they have, and how did those change? How did Sarai and Roman both find “life” in the end? What do you think Christ means when He says, “Whosoever will lose his life for my sake shall find it”?
What’s Next?
The only way out is to trust the man who broke her heart.
Her sister has been kidnapped and FSB agent is hot on her trail--by going undercover into Taiwan's sex-trafficking trade. Now, she's in over her head . . . or is she?
Also deep undercover is Delta Force captain David Curtiss, after the kingpin of the Twin Serpents, the organized crime syndicate that has Yanna, and hundreds of others, in their clutches. But when he discovers Yanna, his mission is suddenly jeopardized. Now, David and Yanna have to rely on each other to save her sister and bring a trafficker to justice.
* * *
Get Run to You!
A Note from Susie May
“Don’t go out for the next few days.” The email from the US Consulate sent a chill through me. At the time, America had dropped bombs on Yugoslavia, and tensions in Russia toward Americans were high. Demonstrations in capital cities threatened consulates and embassies, and Americans lay low. Not only that, we were advised to pack bags in the event we had to hightail it out of the country.
I remember thinking…what if I lived not in a big city but out in one of the tiny villages in remote Siberia? What if I didn’t get email and didn’t know what was happening in the world? Worse, what if we were ordered out of the country…and didn’t know it? Would we be arrested? There and then the idea for Never Can Say Goodbye was born. Fast-forward five years. My husband and I were wrestling with the hard decision to return to the States. Andrew loved what we did as missionaries. But our children needed some time in America, and I was exhausted and burned out. More than that, God was closing the door to ministry in Russia. Andrew felt as if God was asking him to make the ultimate surrender—his life goals for the good of others. But he’d trained and worked with excellent Russian brothers who could fill in the gap created by his leaving. And, after he left, he realized that God would continue the work He’d started with Andrew.
I respect my husband for the sacrifice he made. And in many ways, Sarai and Roman embody Andrew’s struggle. We both learned that we are not indispensable. More than that, we learned that surrender opens new doors to God’s provision and God’s blessings.
My deepest gratitude goes Steeple Hill, my original publisher, for believing in and allowing me to write about Russia and my mixed bag of heroes and heroines. And thank you to Andrew, who every day teaches me about sacrificial love and keeping an eternal perspective. I do need a hero.
SUSAN MAY WARREN
NEVER SAY GOODBYE
Ebook ISBN: 978-1-943935-46-8
Print ISBN: 978-1-943935-47-5
Copyright © 2020 by Susan May Warren
All rights reserved. Except for use in any review, the reproduction or utilization of this work in whole or in part in any form by any electronic, mechanical or other means, now known or hereafter invented, including xerography, photocopying and recording, or in any information storage or retrieval system, is forbidden without the written permission of SDG Publishing.
This book is a work of fiction. The names, characters, incidents, and places are the products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously and are not to be construed as real. While the author was inspired in part by actual events, none of the characters in the book is based on an actual person. Any resemblance to persons living or dead is entirely coincidental and unintentional. Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV® Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.
This edition published by SDG Publishing.978-1-943935-47-5
Also by Susan May Warren
GLOBAL GUARDIANS
Watch Over Me
Never Say Goodbye
Run to You
* * *
GLOBAL SEARCH AND RESCUE
The Way of the Brave
The Heart of a Hero
The Price of Valor
* * *
THE MONTANA MARSHALLS
Book 1: Knox
Book 2: Tate
Book 3: Ford
Book 4: Wyatt
Book 5: Ruby Jane
* * *
MONTANA FIRE
Book 1: Where There's Smoke (Summer of Fire)
Book 2: Playing with Fire (Summer of Fire)
Book 3: Burnin' For You (Summer of Fire)
Book 4: Oh, The Weathe
r Outside is Frightful
(Christmas novella)
Book 5: I'll be There
(Montana Fire/Deep Haven crossover)
Book 6: Light My Fire
(Summer of the Burning Sky)
Book 7: The Heat is On
(Summer of the Burning Sky)
Book 8: Some Like it Hot
(Summer of the Burning Sky)
Book 9: You Don't Have to Be a Star
(Montana Fire spin-off)
* * *
MONTANA RESCUE
Prequel: If Ever I Would Leave You
Book 1: Wild Montana Skies
Book 2: Rescue Me
Book 3: A Matter of Trust
Book 4: Troubled Waters
Book 5: Storm Front
Book 6: Wait for Me
MISSIONS OF MERCY SERIES
TEAM HOPE: (Search and Rescue series)
Book 1: Waiting for Dawn (novella prequel)
Book 2: Flee the Night
Book 3: Escape to Morning
Book 4: Expect the Sunrise
NOBLE LEGACY (Montana Ranch Trilogy)
Book 1: Reclaiming Nick
Book 2: Taming Rafe
Book 3: Finding Stefanie
THE CHRISTIANSEN FAMILY
Prequel: I Really Do Miss your Smile
Book 1: Take a Chance on Me
Book 2: It Had to Be You
Book 3: When I Fall in Love
Evergreen
(Christmas novella)
Book 4: Always on My Mind
Book 5: The Wonder of You
Book 6: You're the One that I Want
THE DEEP HAVEN COLLECTION 1
Happily Ever After
Never Say Goodbye Page 22