Built For A Tank

by Belle Winters

  “What’s up?” Psycho asked.

  I shook my head. “I fucked up, and if you kick my ass, I won’t complain.” I was man enough to own up to when I screw up.

  Psycho frowned. “Addie, why don’t you go put something on?” he directed to Addie not taking his eyes away from me.

  He was reading me and whatever he saw concern and suspicion seeped into him more and more. When the coast was clear, Psycho stood and crossed his arms crowding me. “Tank…” he growled.

  I sighed and held up my hands. “It may not be as bad as you’re assuming…” I began.

  He cocked an eyebrow waiting for me to continue. “I touched Danny.” I blurted out.

  I felt his fist before the fact that he was swinging on me filtered in. The distinct taste of blood in my mouth told me I had a busted lip… but I deserved it. I felt like a fucking perv, pedophile. No better than all those other bastards. I wiped my mouth with the back of my hand and held up the other telling him to pause his assault and let me explain.

  “Look, I have to start from the beginning. That day when everything happened with Jagger… I told you Danny, and I had a bit of a disagreement. Well, he hit me when I was trying to avoid the argument and then I kind of had to restrain him, so his ass would stop swinging on me.” The surprise on Psycho’s face was clear as day. Surely this wasn’t what he was expecting… well no shit. “He got excited. I felt him get hard or whatever and I didn’t think anything about it. I mean, he’s been on my bike and in the same bed as me for how long… that was the first time that happened. At least that I know of. I brushed it off, but he was struggling with it. Shit was awkward as fuck, so I dragged him out of the house last night.” I ran a hand through my hair and blew out a breath. Psycho was leaned back against the counter now. “talked to him about it and shit… cleared the air. I let him know it wasn’t a big deal ya know? Shit happens, we were in a weird position when I had to hold him down. Then we were drinking then came back and was drinking some more. He wanted to hang out after, so we went ways to change. I was wasted and seeing three and couldn’t find my clothes. Anyway, he ended up coming to my room when I was butt ass, and he got… excited. I realized that he was attracted to me and forgot about everything. Like the bullshit, we pulled him out of and was messing with him a bit. Grabbed his dick, but that’s it. He ain’t like push me off or tell me to stop or anything. I still feel like a fucking creep like I took advantage of him.”

  Psycho’s eyebrows flew up. “Did he say something?” he asked.

  I shook my head. “He just said he didn’t get me. Being straight and all and not being bothered by him being hard.” I shrugged and waved a hand because I ain’t have anything else to say.

  Psycho shook his head. “You ever think to tell the kid you’re bisexual?” he asked.

  I shook my head. “Really? I figured he would freak the fuck out. He was scary already like I would jump him or something and he thinks I’m straight.”

  “So, you just going to let the kid think he’s crazy?” he asked me accusingly.

  “No! No. It’s not that. You know how it is. I’m mostly into women. I’m rarely ever attracted to men. Outside of those two months or so I’ve never really even fucked with men except that one time I let a guy blow me… when I realized I was into men. Those two months I was just curious. I was fucking around with guys I didn’t really want or like for that matter just to try it out. I liked it, but guys don’t just appeal to me as much as a whole. Not like women, guys don’t exactly get my blood pumping without some type of contact.” Pyscho rolled his eyes when I waggled my eyebrows and grinned.

  “You’re a moron Tank you know that?” he asked.

  I laughed then sobered. “You think I should tell him?” I asked seriously.

  He nodded. “I do. He might feel like he has someone to relate to.”

  I pinched the bridge of my nose. “I’ll think about it.” I conceded.

  “Let me ask you something, and before you answer me, I want you to really think about it.” Psycho began. When I nodded, he continued. “Do you like Danny? Are you attracted to him?” he asked.

  I didn’t really have to do much thinking. “No. I’ve never had any type of sexual reaction to him.”

  Psycho arched an eyebrow. “And you sure about that? You don’t have to get a raging hard on every time you’re around the kid to like him.”

  I shrugged. “Since when the fuck did you become the voice of reason? I know what I’m talking about.”

  He rolled his eyes and stood up straight. “You may believe that. I need to go, thanks for watching Addie.” He said patting my shoulder and walking towards the door. “Think about what we talked about.” He called over his shoulder.

  I heard the front door close behind him. “There ain’t nothing to think about,” I grumbled to the closed door.

  I had hoped that talking to Psycho would’ve helped put things into perspective, but they didn’t. Not really. I was going to make myself crazy if I kept focusing all my attention on the madness that has become my life. Instead, I took that much-needed shower then Addie, and I was out and about. I needed a distraction, and I had just the right person with me to give me just that.

  Chapter 8

  Danny

  I was moving on autopilot today. I woke up in Tanks bed this morning confused and by the time I made it to the shower, I had crystal clarity to the fact that he did, in fact, have his hand on my cock last night. It was a blessing and a curse. I’d been touched before… sure, but not quite like that. I was never touched and not immediately filled with the need to convulse. It was strangely erotic and irritating all at the same time. Yes, I knew he was just messing around with me, and I knew not to look into it, but it was far beyond me when I found my cock harder than it’s ever been before in the shower and I gave myself my first orgasm of pleasure since I was a kid. I didn’t remember it feeling that good. I’d made sure to make as little noise as possible not ready to face him and slipped out to the garage. It was a Saturday, so I was technically off, but I knew they weren’t closed – thank the lord.

  Rip was surprised to see me, and once I said I didn’t mind working the day for free, they put me to work. I stayed until closing, and once we were done, I hitched a ride to the club with Rip. Call me whatever you want because yea, I was definitely avoiding at this point. I had a whole day to evaluate then reevaluate the situation. Secretly, it wasn’t because I was embarrassed about what happened. I was confused of course, but more than anything I wanted his touch again. I’m not sure where all these sudden feelings were coming from that he was invoking in mem, but I wasn’t entirely ready to give them up. If I was only able to live the fantasy in my head, then so be it.

  Of course, I would never have good karma. Naturally, when I went into the main area of the club, Tank was there with Addie. She spotted me before I had a chance to slip away and probably get a cab home.

  “Danny!” she squealed and hopped out of her seat at the table and ran towards me. I caught her and picked her up giving her a tight hug. Maybe if I held onto her forever, I could use her as a shield.

  Of course, she wasn’t having that. She squirmed out of my arms and grabbed my hand dragging me back to the table. I couldn’t help but grin. Tank was sitting in the seat across from her and laid out on the table was a sugar trifecta. Seriously. There were cookies, cake, Twinkies, milk, brownies, chips, soda, candy… you name it, and she was happily shuffling through it tossing one thing after another into her mouth.

  I looked at Tank. “You know Siarra is going to kill you right?” I asked him.

  He frowned confused. “Why? I didn’t even do anything.”

  I gestured to the table full of diabetes waiting to happen. “What is this?” I asked him.

  He shrugged. “We went shopping.”

  He was so clueless. “You shouldn’t be giving her all of this sugar… don’t you know that?” I asked.

  “SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” Addie demanded with a finger over her lip
s.

  Tank’s eyes ping-ponged between us before he fixed his attention on her and scowled. “Addie…”

  She smiled sweetly. “Yes, Tank.” She said so politely it was completely unbelievable.

  His scowl darkened. “You set me up, didn’t you?” he asked.

  Her smile turned evil. “I don’t know whatever do you mean.”

  Tank stood, and the chair scraped against the floor. He pointed an accusing finger at her. “Yes, you did you little shit. You told me this was ok, that you do it all the time. If you lied to me do you know what Siarra is going to do to me?!”

  It didn’t escape me that snickers were echoing around the room. Apparently, I wasn’t the only one who knew this was a no go, and yet no one thought to clue him in. He looked over to Misty who was now in full on hysterics. He closed the distance between them and cornered her. “You didn’t tell me… all of you bitches are sadists I swear to fuck. When that pint-sized murderer comes here and loses her shit, I’m throwing all of you under the bus.” He turned to the room. “Every single one of you.” He said threateningly.

  I held my hands up. “Hey, I just got here I had nothing to do with this… and I was the one that told you.”

  He shook his head. “Nope. You were supposed to be there today too, so it’s your fault.” He left Misty and came my way until he was only a few inches away from me. He lowered his voice so that the conversation was between us only. “Where were you today anyway?” he asked.

  I shrugged. “I went to the garage for some training.”

  His eyes narrowed, and he shot a dark look in Rips direction who’s back was facing us. “And how did you get there?” he asked.

  “Uber.”

  “And you took one here?” he asked with an arched eyebrow.

  I shook my head. “No, I got a ride.” He gave me a curt nod in acknowledgment and walked off. He seemed calm, but I could see the tension in the set of his shoulders. What the hell was his problem now?

  I decided it was best to just ignore him and his stupid mood swings. I helped Addie cleanup the junk fest, and we set about playing some games. It was later when I was walking from the bathroom that I saw Tank and Rip in the hallway off to the side. At first, it looked like they were passing each other, but then I saw Tank grip his arm and push him back. His muscles bunched in his back and from the look on Rips face – tight with tension – I could tell they were in a heated conversation. I hated to be a creep and eavesdrop, but I was curious. Unfortunately, it proved futile because in the end I didn’t hear a peep and when they were done Tank stalked off towards his room. Rip looked confused and exhausted… maybe even mildly pissed. When he came out the hallway, I didn’t move fast enough, and he caught my eye. I was busted.

  “What was that about?” I asked. No need to try to hide the obvious.

  He shook his head. “I… It’s… shit, I wish I knew.” He said and blew out a long breath. “if you want to know, you gonna have to ask Tank. I’m fucking lost in all this myself.”

  I frowned. “Should I ask him?”

  He studied me for a beat then shrugged. “I honestly don’t know. I would be able to help you better if I understood.” He patted my back once. “Sorry man, but this one is on you. You can try to ask him, but he’s pissed right now fair warning.”

  I gave him a nod of thanks and spent a couple minutes in that spot in the hallway contemplating what I wanted to do. Something deep in my gut told me it had something to do with me. After I made my decision, I gave myself another couple of minutes to steel myself for the upcoming conversation. I had no clue whether this was a bad or good idea or what I was or wasn’t going to hear was going to be a blessing or a curse, but I needed to know either way. I mean, nothing he can say or do to me now could change me any worse than anything else that I’ve been through.

  I opened the door to our old room and found Tank sitting on the edge of the bed head in his hands. He didn’t move an inch, and I made sure that I wasn’t quite or gentle in my movements so that he was aware that I was there. Didn’t help any bit.

  “Tank?”

  Nothing.

  “Tank,” I said a bit louder and still nothing.

  I walked over to the bed and sat down beside him. He still didn’t move. Hesitantly I put a shaky hand gently on his shoulder. He flinched, and I immediately pulled it back like I’d been burned. When my hand left him, his head snapped up, and he gripped my wrist midair.

  “It’s just me,” I said. His eyes were darker than normal, and something was showing in them that I wasn’t familiar with… something I couldn’t decipher.

  He scoffed. “I know that.”

  I frowned. “You didn’t even look at me.” I pointed out.

  His breath was a tad bit ragged. “Besides knowing your voice? No one else in their right mind would’ve followed me here.” He shook his head. “Except Prez, but he would’ve had a different approach. Plus, he ain’t here.”

  I was nervous, what happened with Rip. I was starting to think he could be a friend of mine. He was nice to me all the time, nicer than most and I would hate to think that he wasn’t who I thought he was. “What’s wrong?” I asked.

  He looked me in the eyes, and I could tell he was at war with something in his head. My stomach dropped, and I had the sudden urge to bolt. I was surer now than ever that this was more bad than good, and I could go without knowing. I went to stand, but his grip tightened keeping me in place.

  “We need to talk.” He said.

  If there’s one thing I knew, those words never led to anything good. “You seem upset, how about another time?” I suggested looking for an out.

  He shook his head. “Nah., I spoke to Psycho about this, and I realized that he had a point.”

  I’m pretty sure I visibly gulped. “I… I’m not sure…” I hedged.

  He put his hand on my thigh and gave it a squeeze calming the erratic bouncing. “We need to… but not here and not now. Let’s go home.” He said softly.

  He didn’t look like he was about to destroy my world as I now knew it but something deep inside said that I might be giving into false hope. I instead ignored the feeling and gave him a nod. “Ok, now?”

  He nodded. “Let’s go.” He stood and made his way to the door where I followed. We calmly and casually said our goodbyes and made our way out.

  *****

  I feel like I did a good job hiding my anxiety on the way here, but then again Tank had this uncanny ability to read me no matter how much I tried to mask things.

  “Danny… couch.” Tank ordered as he took off his leather.

  Inside, I was shaking everywhere… on the outside, I peeled my jacket off and laid it across the back of the chair and took a seat. Tank poured two glasses of something I couldn’t make out and made his way to me. I hesitated when he offered me one, and he sighed.

  “I’m not looking to get you drunk, but you need to relax.”

  I knew he’d be able to tell. I took the drink from him and just swallowed it all holding my breath. I felt the burn but ignored it. “We’re home… what do you want to talk about?” I asked as I was internally trying to separate the things he paid for and what I actually did. I hope I would be able to keep my job.

  “Before we get into that, how did you get to the club?” he asked.

  I frowned. “Rip gave me a ride.”

  He nodded nonchalantly and took a sip of his own drink. “he doesn’t own a car.” He stated.

  I shrugged. “I never asked.”

  “So, you were on his bike then?” he asked. Then without waiting for an answer, he got up and refilled his glass with twice as much. He didn’t offer me anymore, and I was thankful because I needed a clear head in all this. I didn’t drink much, so I was sure what I had would hit me but not full force.

  “Yea.” Something dawned on me… “was that bad?” I asked.

  Tank gave me a dark look as he tossed the whole glass back and refilled. He left the cup on the counter and took a step towards m
e. “Yea, it was.”

  “Why?” I asked nervously.

  “Rip is into guys too…” he said.

  My head snapped back. “I know, Jagger said as much.”

  “SO, WHAT THE FUCK DANNY?!” he boomed and advanced on me. “You can’t just be getting on anybody’s bike!” he roared.

  I was so confused. “I get on yours all the time,” I argued.

  “And you damn well should. There’s no reason for you to be on anyone else’s… you know what that shit means in this world?” he sucked in a deep breath. “You don’t get this shit.” He said stalking off back to the cabinet towards his drink.

  “Then fucking talk to me! Stop treating me like a Goddamn toddler… what is the issue?!” I demanded.

  He swallowed his drink down, and when it was empty he launched it to the wall, and I flinched from the impact. “My issue…” he began through gritted teeth. “Is that I don’t want you on anyone else’s bike. Plain and simple. I’m going to tell you like I told him, so we all have a clear understanding. You put your ass on his bike again, I’m going to fucking strangle him then I’m going to kick your ass. No bullshit.”

  I was so confused and slightly irritated. He was threatening me, and I felt like we were just talking in circles, and he wasn’t actually giving me any direct answers to my questions, only asking his own. “Why? What does it matter whose bike I get on? What is the big deal?” I pressed.

  Tanks fists were clenching and unclenching by his side. His muscles were taut with tension, and he looked about ready to strangle me. I’m certain I struck a nerve. Then without a word he was moving. He had a grip on the front of my shirt and pushed me until I was walking backwards up to the wall which he slammed my back against. It didn’t hurt, but it was enough to startle me and evoke a smidgen of fear in me. His grip on my shirt tightened, and he leaned in so close our noses were practically touching. If his eyes were any indication of what was going on in his head, then it would mean he had a million thoughts running through at once with confusion and uncertainty. The one thing I was sure of was the anger vibrating off of him.