by Amy Stinnett
“That’s the plan.” I realized I sounded a bit dismissive, so I added, “It’s been great being back. I miss all the sights and sounds of the city. Plus, I’m staying with a friend who is still on campus, so it’s almost like I never left.”
“Still, it must be nice working from home, right?”
“Well, I don’t have internet, so I go to the library. I have to get everything online done before the gamers show up after school. Still, it is kind of fun. There’s a lot of the same stuff as here in Boise, like coffee shops, markets, good book stores, pho and sushi. It’s just there’s fewer options to choose from, and I have to drive a while to get to it all.”
“Well, I grew up in San Francisco, and I can’t even imagine living someplace where there’s no Wi-Fi.” She laughed. “I mean, that’s what we’re protecting.” She pointed at the packet. “I think it’s neat to get snowed in at a lodge, but I can’t imagine having to live and function in a place like that.”
“No, I get it. Believe me, I’d rather …” I had no idea what I was going to say. At that moment, Alma’s assistant called her over and she left to answer a question.
“Hey, girlfriend!” Chloe, a rep from Colorado who I spent a lot of time with at last year’s meeting, tapped me on the shoulder and bent down and gave me a hug. “Guess what?”
“Hey!” I stood up and put my knee into the chair. “I don’t know, what?”
“I’m moving to Seattle! Isn’t that cool?”
“Yeah, that’s supercool.”
“Yeah, I’m going to head the grant writing team, and Alma helped me find a place in Wedgewood! Yay, I get to see the ocean all the time now! I was late getting in from the airport. I’ve been sitting in my rental car, listening to the tail end of the meeting.” She laughed and caught her breath. Time was up for us to go to our department meetings. “Hey, we should go do something tonight. You got plans?”
“Not really, just hanging with friends. You want to come with us?”
“Sure, I’m in. We may run late. If so, I’ll meet up with you.”
When I got out of my meeting, Chloe was still busy with hers, so I caught the bus up to Capitol Hill and went to a coffee shop to kill time until I met Camela, and possibly Chloe, for dinner. I PM’d Chloe the address of the restaurant near the bar, then absentmindedly tooled around the internet for a while. I found myself on Google maps, zeroing in on my dad’s property. The photo was new! I could see the roof of my little green car sitting in the driveway. There was no little peg man to set down for street view, but I could see the fake well still in place, so it wasn’t within the last couple of weeks. The driveway gate was open and the goats were farther out in the field, so it wasn’t feeding time. I’m guessing about mid-day, so what was I doing?... I scanned over the chicken coops and saw little shadowy dots on the ground. I scooted over to the dog run, and I’ll be damned if there weren’t two figures standing inside the gate. It had to be me and Jodie. Damn! I could see her laughing at me and the tender way she approached Frodo. Hmmm. I tried not to drool.
Camela bailed on me for the evening, but Chloe made it and we had some tapas before going to the bar for a drink. You’d think one of the oldest lesbian bars in the Northwest would be a little, I don’t know, bigger, have more features. But at least there is a good DJ, and I usually run into one or two people worth seeing. I think we were there about twenty minutes, total. We danced once and mostly people-watched. I didn’t see anyone I recognized. I tried to picture Jodie in the club, but it only made me laugh. I envisioned her dancing for about a minute before hopping on Sheila’s horse and riding it around the dance floor, lights flashing. In the scenario, she had a lariat like Wonder Woman’s. I wonder what I would tell her if she roped me like that?
Since we both had to go to the office for closing meeting tomorrow, Chloe invited me to stay with her in her hotel room tonight and tomorrow night. Totally platonic, we’re just friends. Plus, she could give me a ride to the airport on Sunday. We swung by Camela’s to pick up my bag, and on the way back, we passed by my old apartment building. I felt a twinge of sadness, knowing that part of my life was completely over now. Some masochistic part of me was tempted to let Ton-Ton know I was in town, but I think, just maybe, that part of me is shut off now.
“Wasn’t that your building before you left?” Chloe slowed her rental car down. “We can stop, if you need to. Do you still have your place here?”
“… No, there’s nothing left there.”
“Oh, okay.” We drove on in silence for a while. “I didn’t mean to bring up anything bad.”
“No, not your fault. I think I’ve grown up a little, that’s all.”
“You had a girlfriend last time, right? Did you have to break up to go back to Iowa?”
“Idaho.”
“Yeah, I meant Idaho. I get those mixed up.”
“No, it was just before I left, though. The week before Christmas. I guess it was for the best.”
“It usually is. Still …”
“Yeah.”
Her hotel room was practically an apartment; it was so huge. I slept on a giant futon that pulled out flat. It was more comfortable than my dad’s bed back on the farm. We talked for a few minutes, and I wrote in my journal and went to sleep.
March 8, 2013
This morning, when I finished with my IT (we call it IS for Information Systems, but I still say IT) group meeting, I met with Alma and my other boss, the IT Team Leader, Vince. The grant I’m working under runs out in June, but they believe I can be covered by a new grant that will begin funding in September, if I can just hang on until then.
They are really happy with my work, and our group has started a map documenting all the fracking incidents across the US. One of our wish list items is to create an app to help local activists organize and respond to fracking proposals, long before the companies move in and poison the local water supply and destabilize the ground structure. Anyway, enough of my soap box. Alma and Vince want me to stay on, and they said it would be easier if I had the ability to come in to the office at least a couple of times a month, no pressure.
Chloe’s meeting went longer than mine, so I said my goodbyes and headed back to Capitol Hill. I wanted to peruse Ada’s Technical Book store and see if I could find a small thank you present for Liv for watching Frodo while I’m gone. I found an iOS guide that might help me frame the app question a little better. At a gift shop around the corner, I found a little stuffed Scottie for Liv. Knowing her, she’ll be fully bonded with him by the time I get back. Hmm. I wonder if that could solve a problem? Anyway, Chloe met up with me at a Pho place a couple of blocks from another bar, where they have a mostly gay night on Fridays and mostly lesbian night on Saturdays. Chloe said she wouldn’t mind hooking up with someone if it was the right person. She’s not a slut, or anything, but she says she is overdue.
When we got to the club, the music was blasting. As usual, I could barely hear anything, but the energy was definitely more frantic than the Wild Rose. We made our way to the bar, and Chloe got us a couple of Jell-O shots and we went out to the dance floor. There was this song playing. I don’t know the name of it or who sings it, but it was almost like a cheer. Something like “everybody get down like that, clap, clap, clap, clap”, something about staying up all night, fighting, and then everything disappearing in the morning. It was kind of cool. Everybody perked up, anyway. I really got into it.
Chloe went to the bathroom, and I found a table with tall chairs that was empty and staked a claim there. I had just gotten another drink, when who did I see on the dance floor? You guessed it. Ton-Ton was slow grinding on a little Bieber clone who looked catatonic in her teal flannel shirt. Was that what I looked like when I was with her?
“Hey, isn’t that your ex?” Chloe sat another set of drinks on the table. I finished my last one and started the next. “We can go somewhere else if you want.”
“No, I’m fine.” Ton-Ton bit her lower lip the way she used to at crucial times durin
g sex. I felt like I was staring into the Grand Canyon, wondering whether I should jump or not.
A woman approached our table, and thinking she was a waitress, I pointed to my drink and yelled, “No, thanks!” She turned out to be someone Chloe had just met, and she either ignored me or never heard what I said. She went around to Chloe’s side and started talking into her ear. Chloe nodded, and they laughed. After a few minutes, they moved toward the dance floor. Chloe grabbed my arm. “Come dance with us.”
“S’okay.” I didn’t feel much like dancing. “Go ahead.”
“You sure?”
I nodded, and they went on.
I tried not to stare at Ton-Ton, but I kept glancing her direction. It’s hard to say all the feelings that were swirling around me at that moment, but I had almost convinced myself to go talk to her, to tell her I wasn’t mad or hurt anymore, even if it was not all the way true just yet, when Chloe came back to say that she was ready to go and the girl she just met was leaving with her. I could either hang out at the lounge of the hotel or she could stop back by and pick me up in a couple of hours. Third wheel status, unappealing as it was, was still better than the thought of staying at the bar with Ton-Ton there, being without a place to sleep, or missing my flight tomorrow. I opted to go with them.
When we started to leave, we had to stop for a group clustered around the bar. At that moment, I felt a tap on my shoulder, and when I turned around, two lips pressed against mine, followed by a slow-probing tongue. My choice to fight or succumb to the kiss was slowed down a little by the three drinks I’d had. I’m a lightweight, I know. I put my arms up and placed them on her forearms, gently but firmly pushing her away.
“I knew you’d be back.” She grinned. “Idaho’s creepy. I mean farms are cool and stuff, but people are all backwards there.”
“Sure, Ton-Ton.” I saw that Chloe was waiting for me, very patiently considering her prospects. “I have to go.”
“Well, I guess I’ll see you around. Do you want my new number? I changed phones.”
I paused for a moment. “No, I don’t think I do. Anyway, good luck to you. No hard feelings.”
“None for me, either. I’ll see you around.”
I didn’t bother to correct her. Seeing her again was not in my future plans, and if I did, I would not let her catch me off-guard like that again. In the back seat of the car, I stared out the window while Chloe and her distraction did their share of foreplay until we got to the hotel. I tried to wipe the memory of that kiss from my face, but I couldn’t help admitting it felt good to be at least physically close to someone. It has been about four months, and I think I’m starting to attract moths.
I was in the lounge for about forty minutes, and two men had already hit on me. I was trying to understand the pattern on the slate and cream colored carpet, when Chloe texted me to come back up.
Knock, knock, knock. “You sure?” I poked my head in.
She was in the kitchenette opening a tea. “That was the worst sex I’ve ever had in my entire life!”
“What?”
“Yeah!” she huffed. Chloe went on to give me a bunch of way-too-intimate details of her encounter, but, yeah, it was pretty bad. “You don’t want to fool around, do you?” She was half-joking, but I could tell she would have followed through on it. This was my fourth proposition of the night, and the irony was the only person I want to be intimate with right now was on a farm in Emmett, Idaho and within a 90% certainty of being straight.
“No,” I said, “after being mauled by Ton-Ton, I don’t know if I ever will.”
“Figures!” She laughed and collapsed into a chair. Chloe just went up about ten points in my book.
March 9, 2013
I’m going to love working with Chloe. We got to the airport, and everything went smoothly, for once.
When I got off the plane in Sacramento, the sky was a Byzantine blue. I expected to get a text from Mom saying she was running late, but, there she was at the gate, bouncing a small child on her hip. She almost knocked me over with her hug, and I think the kid drooled on my jacket, but it’s always nice to be wanted. Her phone rang, and she whispered, “work,” as she answered and foisted the baby on me. I jostled the kid around until she was in a position that did not feel like my arm was being twisted off. How do people carry them around all the time like this? Mom walked over to a wall for some quiet, and I stared into the little girl’s watery blue eyes for a moment. She looked like she was going to cry, and I found myself doing something I never thought I’d do.
“Hooshie, wooshie. Who’s the happy baby?”
Her fat little cheeks bubbled up with drool. Ugh. But she wasn’t crying.
“Whatsa gramma doing?” I pointed at Mom. So glad I’m not having one of these anytime soon.
Mom walked back over, phone still glued to her ear. “Uh-huh, uh-huh, have you tried calling her emergency contact number?” She pulled the baby blanket off her shoulder and wiped the kid’s mouth, then went back to her wall of protection.
“Weww, gwamma is bizzzzy, isn’t she?” Thank goddess, Liv wasn’t there. I found a bench and dragged my backpack behind me so we could sit down.
I struggled to remember the baby’s name … Harley? Hailey? “Hailey, hay-we, hay-wee.” I bounced her on my knee and sang to her like some Sesame Street reject. She seemed to dig it, though. Mom walked back to me, took a set of brightly colored plastic keys out of her jacket pocket, and held them out to me. “Well, Karen’s name is on the orders, so you’ll have to go to her … I know, I know.” Back to her fortress of solitude.
“So, kid, what do you think of the new iPhone?” Blank stare, more drool. “Yeah, what are you, Mac or PC?”
She reared back and jabbered, “Ay, yi, yi, yi, bababa – bah!”
“Okay, okay.” As a last resort, I jingled the keys in front of her. Hailey grabbed the bright blue one and stuck it in her mouth, drool running in a string from her chin, down my pant leg, and to the floor.
Mom ended her call and came to collect the miscreant. “Everybody okay over here?” She scooped the baby onto her hip in a fluid motion.
We drove through town, and things began to feel like normal. Mom caught me up on all the latest happenings around town, and I told her a bit about the farm, Elliot, Sheila, Jodie, and some of the locals. She remembered Sheila but wasn’t sure about Jodie’s dad. Elliot’s family kept to themselves during the time she was there, but she kind of remembered them. About two blocks from the house, she pulled the car over.
“Baby, I have to tell you something.”
“Okay.”
“Harvey and I are going to get married.”
I let the concept sink in for a second. “Well, that’s great, Mom. I mean, it’s great if you think it’s great. You do think it’s great, right? Or why else would you be doing it?”
“Well, yes, I am 100% on board. I love Harvey, and I want to spend the rest of my life with him. And that would be enough for me, but he wants to tie the knot. And there’s one other reason.” She put her hand on mine. “We’re going to formally adopt Hailey.”
She paused to wait for my reaction. I had no idea what to say. “Oh, well, okay. What about her mom, Hannah?”
“So, the thing about Hannah is she has not gotten her life figured out just yet. She doesn’t know what she wants to be when she grows up, so how can she raise a kid? She can be irresponsible on her own time, but when it effects that baby, Harvey and I have had to step in. Hannah’s mother wants nothing to do with her, so that leaves us. And Hannah is signed on, too, as long as we tell Hailey the truth and she can still see her sometimes, when she’s straight and under supervision. Anyway, it would be much easier for everyone if Harvey and I were married, so it makes sense to go ahead and do that. I know that sounds romantic, right? I was hoping …” She smiled at me.
“What?”
“We, we were hoping you would go with us tomorrow to city hall and be a witness. We might do a ceremony in the summer, but right now, we
want to take care of the legal side.”
So, Mom was giving up her single lady status for the sake of the bundle in the back seat. I looked at Hailey’s big, bald head. “Sure.”
Mom flashed me a tight grin. “Is that ‘sure, I’ll do this to get you off my back” or ‘sure, I’m glad you waited for me because I want to share the day when hell freezes over with you’?”
I smirked. “The latter.”
“Oh, baby, thank you!” Her skinny arms wrapped around me in an instant.
When we got home, Harvey was his usual jovial, couch potato self. There really was a lot to like about him, even if I didn’t get Mom’s physical attraction to him.
March 10, 2013
This morning, we dressed in our best outfits, and Mom and Harvey got hitched. With Harvey’s sister, my mom’s best friend, Lisa, and me and my new appendage, Hailey, witnessing, how could their new endeavor do anything but succeed? Afterwards, we all went to Biba’s (the best Italian place ever) for a huge lunch. Harvey and Mom were beaming. It was actually pretty cool.
Harvey went home, I’m assuming to nap, and Mom and I went to a huge chain baby store to use her gift card, a shower present from her work friends. She bought a car seat/jog stroller combo that cost more than probably everything she ever bought me before I turned twelve, combined. Still, Hailey did look like a cute little dictator, ruling from her baby Pope-mobile.
When we got home, Mom fed Hailey and put her to bed, then disappeared into her bedroom with Harvey. About 11:30, she came out and joined me on the downstairs couch, watching reruns of Friends.
“You used to watch this show, waiting for me to get home from work, huh?”
“Yeah, sometimes. I never really got into it.”
“Me, either.”
“So, how are you dealing?”
“With what in specific?”
“Adulting.”
“Oh, I don’t know. I seriously don’t know how I’m going to sell the place, displace Elliot, get rid of all the animals, let everything Dad built disappear. And I don’t know how I would not sell it, since my whole life is back in Seattle. Maybe I could get someone to run it with Elliot, someone I could trust, while I finish school, but I don’t have a clue how I would find someone. What do you think?”