She narrowed her gaze at him. “About what?”
“Really?” His dazzling grin turned wry. “You have to ask?”
“Okay.” She sighed. “Thank you for suggesting Rusty swap farrier services for three mustangs. He seems like a nice guy, very competent, and I like his setup.”
“Three mustangs? I thought we agreed on two?”
We? Hmph. He was actually talking as if they shared ownership of the mustangs.
“Checking two hundred head of horses will take days. Even with a full crew,” she said. “He deserves at least three.”
“I agree. Actually, I was suggesting we talk about our kiss. Which was amazing, by the way.”
“I plead the Fifth.”
“And here I thought you’d rail at me until my ears peeled off.”
“I don’t rail.”
His raised brows implied different. “Talk to me, Cara.”
He’d been good, keeping his end of their bargain. She was slow to trust people, but he’d done his best to earn hers. And he was right. They should talk about the kiss, set things straight.
Glancing over her shoulder at the rear seat, she assured herself the children were sleeping. “I’m glad you liked it, because it won’t happen again.”
“Did you?”
“Like the kiss? Absolutely not.”
He chuckled. “Don’t lie.”
“It scared me.” Her blatant honesty must have surprised him, for he sobered.
“Why?”
She didn’t answer.
“Because you liked it?”
At his arrogance, she found her voice. “For the record, I was simply curious. I haven’t kissed a man for quite a while.”
“That’s a shame. You’re very good at it.”
“Please, Josh. No teasing. This is hard enough for me.” More blatant honesty. Strange for her. Cara didn’t normally open up. Not with people who weren’t close friends, like Summer and Raquel.
“Okay. Truce.” They drove for another mile before Josh said, “If we’re making disclosures, I have one of my own.”
“I’m not sure I want to hear it.”
“I’d say I didn’t plan on us kissing, except that’s not true. I’ve thought a lot about what it would be like. A lot. I saw an opportunity, and I took it. You should also know, I’ll kiss you again if the opportunity presents itself.”
She groaned. “We can’t, Josh.”
“Maybe we shouldn’t, but we certainly can.”
“I’m not ready for a relationship.” If he couldn’t see that, he was blind.
“And I’m not rushing you. We can go as slow as you’d like.”
“What I want is to end things now.”
“I admit, I can come on a little strong.” Josh glanced at her and then back to the road. “I’ll try to dial it down a notch.”
“Forgive the tired old line, but it’s me, not you.”
“Because of your son.” He said it softly.
She hesitated. “Because of your children.”
He checked the backseat. “They don’t misbehave that much, do they?”
She shook her head and waited until talking became less difficult. “They’re perfect. And that’s the problem. Being in a relationship with you means having your children in my life to some degree greater than they are now. I can’t handle that. No way.”
“Let me pull off the road so we can talk.”
The sympathy in his face nearly undid her. “That’s not necessary. And please, for both our sakes, let’s not ever kiss again.”
* * *
SPRINKLES. NOTHING BUT a few scattered drops falling from what had been a promisingly ominous gray sky. Mother Nature was playing a nasty trick, giving them hope one minute and taking it back the next.
All three brothers, Josh, Cole and Gabe, were assisting the vet, health checking the cows in section three. Next week, they’d begin the artificial insemination process. If all went well, most of the cows would become pregnant.
Before today, Josh had no idea what percentage of pregnant cows was considered good. He was learning, and fast. To his complete surprise, he liked the ranching business. He’d always assumed he’d follow in his grandfather’s footsteps and breed horses for a living after he retired from rodeoing.
Now he supposed Cole would be the one to return to California and take over. God knew, his brother didn’t want to stay in Mustang Valley. Plus, he was better with horses. Though, gauging by Wind Walker’s progress, Josh could hold his own.
Maybe he’d train some of Cara’s mustangs. Make them more adoptable. The idea appealed to him for many reasons. Top of the list—working more closely with Cara and seeing her smile with delight.
She’d been on his mind a lot lately, especially during those restless nighttime hours when the kids kept him awake. He’d often recall the feel of her soft lips as she’d surrendered to his kiss, which increased his restlessness all the more.
“You okay?” Cole asked. “You seem distracted.”
“Tired is all. Kimberly cried half the night.”
“Is she sick?”
How did Cole know enough to ask that? Josh hadn’t. He’d ended up phoning Cara and waking her. She hadn’t sounded angry at the disturbance. She’d simply spoken to him in that annoyingly neutral tone of hers. Three days since their trip to Rusty’s and their conversation about the kiss, and the only emotions he’d seen her display were around his kids.
After instructing him to take Kimberly’s temperature—which was normal—and check her for other signs of illness or discomfort, they’d decided she either had an upset tummy or was simply being a baby. An hour of pacing the small apartment had finally soothed his daughter back to sleep.
Fortunately, Nathan had slumbered through it all. Josh, however, had lain awake on his lumpy sofa bed for the next forty minutes until he had unwound enough to drift off.
“She’s fine,” he told Cole. “Happy as a lark this morning.”
“Can’t say the same for you.”
He had been short-tempered, flying off the handle at every little thing.
“Any luck finding permanent day care?” Cole asked.
“No. And that won’t solve the problem of my lack of sleep.” Josh tucked the clipboard he held under his arm and scrubbed his face, unable to stop the energy from draining out of him.
They walked among the herd of cows, verifying the ear tag numbers against Violet’s log. She’d have performed the task herself, but she’d left the day before and wouldn’t return until Monday. Her parents were in the midst of a personal crisis. Since Violet rarely requested time off, no one had complained.
Cole moved slowly ahead, reading off the number of the next cow. It eyed them cautiously, but didn’t abandon the small, dry patch of grass on which it munched.
“Why don’t you just hire Raquel permanently?” Cole suggested. “She keeps pestering you to let her.”
Josh studied his brother. “Can you honestly say you wouldn’t mind if I did?”
“Can you honestly say I’m the reason you haven’t made the arrangement permanent?”
“She was Dad’s mistress. You have to admit, her watching the kids is...”
“Different?”
He’d been thinking weird.
“After a thirty-plus year relationship,” Cole said, “and having a son together, she was a lot more to him than a mistress. In some states, she’d be considered his wife.”
“You have a point.”
Cole recited the number of the next cow, then said, “Truthfully, I’m surprised Raquel didn’t contest the will. The life insurance payout she got wasn’t exactly a windfall.”
“A lawsuit’s expensive and can drag on for months.” Josh had learned that firsth
and during his custody battle.
“Do you believe that story about Dad and Raquel never marrying because of her father?”
“Yeah, I do.” Josh had repeated his conversation with Cara a few weeks back.
“I’m surprised Dad went along with it. He was the kind of man who didn’t let people push him around.”
Memories Josh had avoided recalling for years suddenly surfaced. Hearing his parents argue. His mother packing up their belongings. His father saying nothing when Josh had asked why they couldn’t stay.
In the past, the memories had been accompanied by a rush of anger or pain. Today, that didn’t happen. At what point had he changed? More interesting, perhaps, what had caused it?
He flipped to the next page on the log. “For all we know, Raquel might have refused to marry Dad. She’s a strong woman in her own right, and she loves her family. She talks about them constantly.”
“I kind of hate to say this, but I like her.”
“I like her, too.”
Josh understood Cole’s reluctance to admit his fondness for Raquel. Until recently, they’d blamed her for their parents’ divorce. She’d been the home wrecker, a belief their mother had stubbornly clung to and had passed on to her sons.
“I get that Mom carried her anger to extremes,” Cole said. “But Dad did cheat on her.”
“They were separated when Dad and Raquel met and would have divorced if Mom hadn’t guilted him into reconciling. Insisting he had a responsibility to his family.”
Those critical pieces of information were something Josh and Cole hadn’t learned until coming to Dos Estrellas. For Josh, the discovery had significance. Their mother withheld information in order to foster the estrangement between father and sons.
The knowledge had slowly altered his feelings, at times leaving him more confused than ever. At other times, he saw the situation with a brand-new clarity. Growing closer to Gabe had also affected him, as did his growing feelings for Cara.
“Separated isn’t divorced.” Cole’s terse voice reflected the grudge he still harbored. “Happy or not, he was a married man.”
“I won’t argue that. But it should have been our choice to have a relationship with Dad. Not Mom’s.”
Cole didn’t respond. Instead, he targeted another of their father’s faults. “Did it ever occur to you that he was sleeping with two women at the same time?”
Josh wasn’t sure about that. There was a year’s difference between each of the brothers, with Gabe in the middle. He didn’t dispute Cole, though, convinced that would be a waste of energy.
Another memory, long forgotten, crystallized. “I called Dad once.”
“You’re kidding.” Cole faced him, his expression wary, but curious. “Mom refused to let us have any contact with him.”
“I was eighteen. Getting ready to graduate from high school. Wanting to rodeo professionally while Mom insisted I go to college. We fought, and I stormed out of the house. I called him from a friend’s phone.”
“Why?”
“Rebellion. Trying to get back at Mom. Who knows? I was young and tired of her telling me what to do. Tired of her constant nagging.”
A long paused followed. “What happened?” Cole asked. “How did it go?”
Josh hesitated. This wasn’t the best time and was hardly the best place for a discussion bound to stir up bad feelings. Any minute, they could be interrupted. Gabe and the vet weren’t far away, just on the next hill.
Then again, Cole was rarely in the mood to talk about their father. Josh decided to take advantage of the moment.
“I asked him if I could come here. For a visit. What I really wanted was to use Dos Estrellas as a cooling off place while I saved enough money to hit the circuit full-time.”
“You must have been pretty mad at Mom.”
“She could be relentless.”
Cole bent and picked up a small rock, twirling it between his fingers. “What did Dad say?”
“Told me to stay away. We argued, and I hung up after calling him a few choice names.”
“Didn’t that make you mad?”
“Oh, yeah. So mad, I shut out half of what he said to me.”
“What kind of father turns his son away?” Cole flung the rock aside. “For nothing.”
“Not nothing. I didn’t realize until now that if he’d let me come, Raquel’s father would’ve cut her off from her family. Dad said something. Something I chose to ignore. About making sacrifices to save the family he had because he’d already lost you and me.”
“And you think that’s okay?” Cole demanded. “For him to choose Raquel and Gabe over you? Over us?”
“We chose Mom over him.”
“He cheated on her.”
“She’s hardly the easiest person to get along with. Did you ever think she might have driven him away?”
“That doesn’t make what he did right.”
“Doesn’t make what Mom did right, either. She had it out for Dad. Still does. Maybe she’s justified, maybe not. Nothing’s ever black-and-white. But poisoning us against Dad was wrong.”
“Poisoning?” Cole scoffed.
“All right. Prejudicing us.”
“Dad was no saint. I can’t believe you’re defending him.”
“He wasn’t so terrible, either. We left here when I was seven and you were five and never saw him again or, in your case, even talked to him. We have no idea what kind of man he was. People change.”
“I don’t care.”
Josh struggled to be patient with his brother. “A lot of folks in Mustang Valley loved and respected him. I can’t go into a single establishment without being stopped and having my ear talked off by someone who thought he was a great guy, and half of them are our competitors. Look how much Raquel loved him. And Cara. She considered him a second father. Violet worshipped the ground he walked on. Can all those people be wrong?”
Anger flashed in Cole’s eyes. “If he was such a great guy, why didn’t he try to contact us?”
“How do we know he didn’t? Mom twisted the truth. On more than one occasion. And Dad’s not here to tell his side of the story.”
“She had her reasons.”
Josh blew out a breath. If he’d thought he was going to alter Cole’s opinion of their father in one afternoon, he was wrong.
“Josh, Cole!” Gabe hailed them, his boots digging into the ground as he climbed the hill.
By silent agreement, Josh and Cole dropped the subject of their father. Prior to Christmas, they’d fought bitterly with Gabe. He was the one raised by their dad, the one he’d seemingly loved the best. Josh and Cole had resented him.
Since then, however, the three brothers had reached an agreement to work together for the good of the ranch. They were also, slowly, becoming friends. Cole might feel differently, but Josh didn’t want to risk all they’d gained by dragging Gabe into a private disagreement.
“You two mind finishing up with Doc Benning?” Gabe asked when he reached them.
Josh and Cole exchanged glances. “Sure,” Josh said. “Is there a problem?”
“Theo’s having a bad day. A reaction to a new medication. Reese took him to the emergency room in Scottsdale.”
Must be serious, Josh thought. The nearest hospital was a thirty-minute drive. Most people went to the clinic in town.
“You meeting her there?”
Gabe shook his head. “I’m heading to the Small Change. Their livestock foreman’s tied up in Casa Grande. Theo asked me to take care of a few things that can’t wait until tomorrow. Assuming he’s out of the hospital by then.”
“I’ll get right on it,” Cole said.
Gabe nodded. “Thanks.”
“No problem.” Cole started down the hill toward the vet.
&n
bsp; Josh went with him, only to be stopped by Gabe.
“You got a second, Josh?”
At Cole’s indifferent shrug, Josh remained behind. “What’s up?”
Gabe pushed back his cowboy hat and wiped his forehead with his coat sleeve. He looked as tired as Josh felt. “Reese is worried Theo’s bad spell is something serious.”
From what Josh had gathered, when the symptoms of Parkinson’s appeared to be under control, often new ones suddenly developed or old ones worsened.
“I’m sorry to hear that.”
“It’s a critical time at the Small Change. The spring sale is in March. If the livestock aren’t in prime shape, Theo could lose money.”
Same problem they had at Dos Estrellas, though the Dempseys wouldn’t be selling nearly as many cattle as their neighbor. Still, every dime counted for both ranches.
“How can I help?”
“I’m glad you asked.” Gabe expelled a long breath. “Looks like I’ll be spending more and more time at the Small Change.”
That made sense. Theo’s daughter was likely Gabe’s future wife, and Theo had been a good friend to the family.
“I need someone to cover for me here. I’d like that person to be you.”
“Me?”
“You’ve got what it takes to manage this place, Josh. You’re smart and competent and have a natural instinct for ranching. Plus, I trust you.”
Trust. The one word Josh never thought he’d hear from Gabe.
It would be easy to say no, and Josh was tempted. Not because of their strained past. He simply couldn’t imagine fitting one more task into his already-full schedule.
But he’d find a way. One thing he’d learned these past months was that the local ranchers looked out for one another. He liked that particular aspect about living in Mustang Valley, among others. Cara’s face sprang immediately to mind.
Perhaps equally important, he’d made a commitment to Gabe and the ranch. To the whole family. Not just to stick around for a year, but to give his all.
“All right.” He smiled affably. “You can count on me.”
Chapter Seven
A day off at last. Sort of. Josh was spending a few free minutes in the small corral next to the round pen, taking a peek at the new foal born during the night to one of the mustang mares. Cara had told him about it earlier during morning coffee. Their first real conversation in days.
Come Home, Cowboy Page 9