“Mmmm.”
“Go and clean up. You stink like a bar.”
Thankfully he didn’t say anything. He didn’t protest and he didn’t bitch. Instead he wobbled to his feet, and like the dutiful son I was, I reached out and grabbed his elbow, steadying him. Once he was up and shuffling across the room, I sunk to the floor and dropped my head on the cushions behind me.
“That was…”
“Fucked. I’m pretty sure the word you’re looking for is fucked.”
Holly sat down beside me, all the humour and teasing drained from her face as she looked at me intensely. She was definitely growing up. God help the guy who fell for her. One look and he’d be reduced to nothing. Like I was right now. “Is he…is he like that a lot?”
Sometimes I forgot that Holly wasn’t always around. I forgot she spent most of the year away at boarding school. It felt wrong now somehow. Now we were all back, Beau back from his fancy University education and paper pushing job. Connor working the farm. Me back from school. And Ryan was still here. It felt like Holly should be here to. It was where she belonged. With us. With people who loved her. With her family. Home.
“I don’t really know,” I answered her as honestly as I could. “I mean, from what Connor said, he’s gotten a lot better since Beau came back and took over making decisions. Maybe it was a one off. Just a lonely night.”
“I hope so.”
“Me too, Princess.” I patted Holly’s knee and she leaned into me, crushing my head against her ribs.
“Got a hug like that for your dad?”
I hadn’t even heard him return. He looked like a different man. His hair was combed, his clothes were clean, and his eyes alert. This was how I wanted to see him. Always. He was my dad. I never wanted to see him anything less than the superhero he’d been when I was just a kid.
“Always, Daddy.” Holly beamed. She might have four older brothers who’d commit murder for her, but at heart, Holly was and always would be Daddy’s little girl. It used to bug me. The closeness they shared. It was something I was envious of and something I couldn’t understand. These days though, I knew it was exactly as it should be.
Giving them a moment of privacy, I wandered into the kitchen and brewed some fresh coffee. Even if the others didn’t want it, I sure as hell did. By the time the kettle whistled, Holly had vanished and Dad was sitting outside in the morning sun.
I handed him a cup and sunk down on the step. “What happened last night?” I was hoping there was a reason he’d got so rip roaring drunk and not that it was just another Wednesday.
“Why?”
“Why? Seriously? Because you were passed out cold when we got home.”
“Yeah well…”
“Yeah well nothing, Dad. Come on! Connor said this shit had stopped. It has to.”
“Give me a break, Gage! Surely you had a couple of beers last night. That’s why you didn’t come home, wasn’t it? You’d been drinking. So don’t get all high and mighty with me.” He was getting increasingly angry and his face was turning beet red. I needed him not to get so worked up.
“Yeah, Dad. I had a few beers and instead of driving home, we crashed at Derek’s. I wasn’t passed out, though. None of us were. So I’m going to ask one more time. What the hell happened?”
He puffed out the breath he’d been holding and began coughing. It sounded horrible—slightly painful even. He barked for a full minute. It was a really shitty feeling, knowing there was nothing I could do to help. To make it easier. Instead I just sat there, sipping my coffee, listening to Dad’s cough interrupt the early morning silence.
When a cloud of dust caught my attention, I noticed Connor’s truck bumping down the driveway. I hadn’t expected him back for ages. As he got closer, I could hear the music blaring from inside. He didn’t notice me sitting on the front step. I didn’t miss the passenger in his front seat, though. Seemed Connor and Zoe weren’t simply a new year’s kiss. He’d cop shit for that later.
The coughing faded, and Dad said simply, “Your mother.”
“What about her?”
“She came out here last night.”
“What the hell for? We weren’t here.”
“I think she knew that. She wanted to talk to me.”
“About what?” This whole thing was starting to piss me off. As much as I loved my mother, some days she made it really hard to like her.
“She needs money.”
“You don’t have any.”
“No. She wants me to try and convince Beau to sell off some of the land and give her what she’s due.”
“She’s due nothing!” I didn’t mean to yell, I just couldn’t help it. This whole thing was driving me insane.
“Gage!” Dad’s voice was filled with warning. “Don’t speak about your mother like that.”
Jumping to my feet, I emptied my cup onto the dirt at my feet. I couldn’t sit here a second longer. It was driving me crazy. I needed to find Beau and get this shit sorted once and for all. Mum hanging around, sticking her nose in everyone’s life wasn’t doing any of us any good. Surely she couldn’t be feeling too crash hot about herself right now.
“Stop protecting her. Damn it, Dad! She left us. She chose to walk away. She was the one who wanted someone with more money. Someone who could give her the lifestyle she thought she deserved. She didn’t want to be a mother or a wife anymore. That was her choice. I didn’t force her to make it. You didn’t ask her to walk away. She chose that. She has to deal with the consequences.”
I was fuming. I never wanted to get messed up in my parents’ marriage drama…what kid did? But this was getting beyond a joke. Dad wasn’t fighting. He was drinking. Mum was insulting anyone in her way. This had to end and it had to end soon. Placing my empty cup on the wonky railing, I dug my hand in my pocket and tugged out my keys.
“Tell Holly I said I’ll catch up with her later.”
“Where are you going?”
“To find Mum.”
“Gage…”
I ignored his calls and kept marching towards my car. I didn’t want him to stop me. I was tired, my shoulder ached, and I was pissed off. If I was going to have to go and deal with Mum, then I was heading home for a nap first.
As I passed over the rickety old bridge and crossed into the town’s border, I grabbed my phone and dialled her number. When she answered, I was rude. After telling me where she was, I spun the car and headed towards the pub. I’d been curious where she’d been staying, and above the pub really surprised me.
Taking the steps two at a time, I pounded on her door. When it swung open, I’m sure I heard my jaw hit the floor. The woman standing before me, the woman who’d given birth to me, was barely recognisable. Her hair was a bird’s nest, her makeup was smudged, her eyes puffy, and she was wearing a threadbare purple robe. It was kinda sad to see her like that.
“Gage, what do you want? I’m tired. Can we do this later please? I can come see you…”
“No. We’re doing this now.” It took everything I had to hold firm and not cave at the dishevelled sight of her.
I heard her sigh heavily. Once I was in her room, I couldn’t believe it. If I thought Mum looked like someone else, then her room was yet another thing I didn’t see coming. There was shit everywhere. Boxes were stuffed in the corner, clothes covered the lounge chair. The table was buried under papers, tubes of makeup and discarded jewellery.
Something was wrong.
Seriously wrong.
“Mum, what’s going on?”
When I turned to face her, I saw the tears dripping from her eyes. That was enough to knock the fight out of me. As much as I’d wanted to shake her and tell her to pull her head out of her ass, there was more to this story.
“He kicked me out.”
“What?”
“He called me a money hungry gold digger.”
Her words caused me pain. Even though I’d considered them myself more than once, saying them aloud was a whole other ball game.
When I glanced up at her, I knew I wasn’t the only one in pain. Tears waterfalled from her eyes and each one that hit her cheek felt like a punch in the gut. Mums were supposed to be tough. They were supposed to be Superwoman without the cape. I always thought mine was. I never wanted to see her so vulnerable.
Without a word, I wrapped her in my arms and let her cry on my shoulder. Her tears seeped through my shirt and left my skin damp. It was awkward as fuck, but I couldn’t push her away. The sobs shook her body and I felt useless. Holding her didn’t seem like enough, yet it was all I could do.
For a long time we stood, Mum sobbing and me staring over her shoulder at the mess around her. I couldn’t believe this is what had become of her life. Even after all the bullshit and all the hurtful things she’d done recently, I couldn’t wish this on my worst enemy.
Rubbing my hand up and down her back, I heard her sniff. “Why don’t you go wash your face?” I suggested
Mum didn’t answer. She did unwrap herself from around me and shuffled off to the bathroom. I heard the door click shut and the water turn on. Digging my phone from my pocket, I shot off a text to Beau and Connor. We needed to talk about what was going on. This shit couldn’t continue. No matter what Mum had done and said, she was still our mum. Looking at her now, she was a broken shell of the woman we’d known.
Beau: Shit.
Connor: When? I’m busy.
Beau: Busy getting busy??
Connor: Jealous much?
Gage: Are you 2 ready? Meet at Payton’s in 2 hrs.
Beau: Really?
Connor: Do I have to?
Gage: Just fucking do it.
Some days my brothers drove me crazy. I loved them, but fuck, were they annoying. They needed to stop thinking with their dicks for ten minutes and deal with something real. If I had to, so did they.
The water shut off and I knew I was out of time. The problem was I needed to talk to someone who would understand. Someone who wouldn’t judge.
DrDolittle2.0: Why are families so much bloody drama?
“Sorry, sweetheart.” Mum sniffed as she tugged at the tie on her bathrobe.
“Don’t worry about it.”
On the floor in the corner was her open pink suitcase, surrounded by dirty clothes. Unable to stand it, I sat Mum down on a corner of the unmade bed and headed towards the suitcase. A minute later it was stuffed full as I struggled to zip it up.
“What are you doing?”
“You’re not staying here. You can stay with me.”
I didn’t want her living with me. Fuck, that was the last thing I needed. Who wanted to live with their mother after they turned eighteen? I couldn’t very well leave her here like this though.
“No. I’m fine. I just need…”
“We’re not arguing about this. You get dressed and grab the stuff from the bathroom. I’ll start taking some down to the car. We can talk more when we get to my place. Let’s just get you out of here first.”
She didn’t say a word. For a long time she just sat there, completely frozen, staring at me. She looked like a lost puppy. I couldn’t watch a moment longer. Grabbing the suitcase and a plastic bag filled with god knows what, I headed to the car.
Three trips later and all her crap was packed. “Follow me.”
She nodded.
She looked so small.
Gone was the bitchy, demanding woman I knew, replaced by this compliant, almost childlike person standing in front of me. It was as depressing as hell.
***
“Well, I’m here. What the fuck’s going on?”
Gee, Connor really wanted to be here. This was going to be about as fun as a root canal.
Beau stuffed a cookie in his mouth and grumbled something. He needed to watch himself. The way he kept stuffing his face with Payton’s delicious pastries and cookies, he was going to end up the size of a house.
“Mum needs our help.”
“She didn’t help us.” Wow! Connor was more than a little bitter about this.
“Grow up, Connor. So what? She was a bitch. Get over it. What’s going on, Gage?” Beau silenced him.
“Did you know she’s been living above the pub?”
That got their attention. “What happened to what’s his face?” Beau enquired, seeming like he actually gave a toss.
“Threw her out apparently.”
“Shit!”
Payton appeared with a tray heavy with more coffee and scrolls. These looked different than her normal cinnamon. Apple and rhubarb and some kind of sticky icing. Beau grabbed two before getting his greedy fingers slapped away.
“Slow down! You’ll get a stomach ache,” Payton scolded him. Damn, she was good for him. Someone to keep him in line and on his toes. I adored this girl.
Beau grabbed her wrist and dragged her onto his lap, kissing her loudly. Connor and I traded disgusted glances. Public displays of affection weren’t really my thing.
“I’ll leave you boys to it.”
Payton went to leave, but Beau tightened his grip. “Stay.” His single word carried so much weight. “You’re part of this family now too. This concerns you. Stay.”
Her eyes darted back and forth between Connor and I, waiting for one of us to object. I didn’t. I couldn’t. I mightn’t have thought of it, but Beau was right. This did concern Payton. After all, they were married now, which made her one of us.
“It’s fine, Payton. Sit down.”
Ten minutes later and the once civil conversation had gotten completely out of control. It was a good thing Payton had no neighbours nearby. No one to hear the obscenities we were volleying back and forth between us.
“Come on, Connor. She’s our mother. We can’t just abandon her,” I tried to reason.
Connor was fuming. His face was red, sweat beading on his forehead, and his voice was beginning to go hoarse from all the shouting. I got it. He was pissed. But I think it was more than that. He was hurt.
“Why not? She abandoned us.”
“Connor…”
“No, Beau! No. You weren’t here. You didn’t see the shit storm she left behind when she walked out. You weren’t here when Dad was drinking himself unconscious night after night. You weren’t the one getting calls from the school because Ryan kept getting into fights. I was. I had to put up with all that shit.”
“Wait a minute, Connor. That’s on you.”
“What the fuck that’s supposed to mean?” Beau snapped back.
I was beginning to think that maybe I’d have been better off figuring this one out on my own.
“No one asked you to take all that on. That was your choice. You didn’t tell us. You kept everything to yourself. You didn’t give us the chance to help.”
“Seriously, Beau? That’s your excuse? I didn’t tell you. Is that what it takes to help you sleep at night?”
“I’m gonna go.” Payton stood up and bolted for the door. I couldn’t blame her. If I could have been, I would be a couple of steps behind her.
I could hear Beau sucking in deep breaths, trying to keep himself calm. It was working. Just. The vein on his forehead popped out, and I wouldn’t be surprised if it and he exploded soon.
“Okay. Enough. Forget about who dealt with what. We need to focus on what we’re going to do now. Beau, you own the place, what are your plans?”
“What do you mean?”
“What he means, dumbass, is what we’ve all been waiting and wondering since it came to light that Granddad left the whole place to you rather than Dad. What are you going to do? You selling it? You keeping it? You splitting it up? We deserve to know.” Connor wasn’t pulling any punches.
The bell above the front door tinkled and I looked up only to come face to face with a very pissed off Ryan and even more scary Holly.
“Any particular reason we weren’t invited to this little pow wow?” Ryan snarked, dropping into the booth.
Holly remained silent but the look on her face said everything. She was livid. It was girl livid though
. She wasn’t about to throw a punch but that didn’t mean she wouldn’t lose her shit.
“Everyone calm the fuck down!”
I couldn’t stand the arguing and insults any longer. The headache that had started out as a dull ache had now turned into a full blown migraine. I felt like someone was stabbing me through the temple with a screwdriver.
Silence fell across the room.
“Right. Now, what are we going to do about Mum?”
“Do we have to do anything?” Ryan asked calmly.
I got it. I really did. But I just couldn’t walk away. It wasn’t me. “Yeah, we do. She’s still our mum.”
“Is she ever going to act like it?” Holly asked quietly.
Her words hurt. Until that moment I hadn’t given it any thought about how much all this drama was hurting Holly. After all, a girl only has one mother.
I needed a drink. Escaping to the kitchen, I swiped a bottle of water from the fridge and took a long gulp. Rubbing my face, I wished this whole day was over. I was still sleep deprived, and now, because of all this bullshit, I couldn’t even go home to my own bed. I’d given that up to Mum. I’d be couch surfing in my own lounge room unless we put aside the petty bullshit and figured this out. Somewhere along the line, it had become our responsibility to deal with the adults in our life.
My phone vibrated in my pocket, dragging me out of my heavy thoughts.
ClickChick7: The ones we love the most always know exactly how to hurt us the worst.
As I read her reply, my already heavy heart suddenly felt even heavier. I couldn’t shake the feeling that I wasn’t the only one struggling with the ones we loved at the moment.
My whole place smelt like lemon. It was so clean you could eat off the floor. It’d been four days since I’d woken up wrapped in Gage’s warm arms, his very prominent erection digging into my ass. I should’ve been pissed I hadn’t heard from him since he’d followed me home. I wasn’t. Sure we’d shared a hot as hell kiss before spending the night cuddled up in each other’s arms, but he wasn’t the one I was waiting to call.
Picturing Perfect (Meet the McIntyres Book 2) Page 15