Scratchy music filtered over the air. As if on cue, a line of adorable little girls, ages five to six years, filed past the front row of spectators. Each girl wore a pink tutu, matching leotards and black tap shoes. The fifth child in the row was Chrissy, immediately followed by Evie. Their long blond hair had been pulled up in a bun on top of their heads with a gangly pink flower pinned at the side. Sweet and cute as buttons. All of the tiny girls looked identical, except that Evie didn’t smile.
The kids swung their arms as they tromped up the steps and onto the stage. Instead of delicate ballerinas, they sounded like a herd of cattle. A low murmur of delighted laughter filtered over the audience.
The lead dancer scurried across the stage in a fast trot with the other girls following behind. When the first girl stopped abruptly at the end of the stage, the second girl plowed straight into her back. This set off a chain reaction of dominoes with the girls sequentially butting against each other. It took several more moments for the children to regain their balance and adjust their spacing.
The parents in the audience chuckled and clapped with pleasure. Jill stole a quick glance at Brent. His chiseled profile softened with his wide grin. Like any proud father, he appeared to be completely enjoying himself.
Jill forced herself to look away and smiled so hard that it hurt her face. And when the music started and the girls began to tap-dance, she laughed out loud.
The miniature ballerinas tried to snap their fingers in time to the awkward clicking of their feet. Since they were so young and still trying to gain their coordination, most of them could do no more than rub their thumbs and index fingers together. Each child was off-beat, their timing wrong, but that didn’t stop them from twirling and swaying their arms. And it didn’t matter one bit to the audience. These little girls were so endearing that Jill’s heart melted at the cuteness of it all. And right then and there, she couldn’t help feeling deep and abiding regret that none of the girls belonged to her. That she might never know the joys of being a wife and mother.
Brent’s deep laugh sifted through the air as he clapped his approval. How she wished she could have met and married a man like him. How she envied the love he’d shared with his wife and daughter. Jill would give almost anything to be cherished like that. She’d always wanted children, but David hated kids. He’d claimed they were too messy, cost too much money and took up too much time. Selfish reasons not to have any of his own. A number of times during their marriage, Jill had thought of tricking him into becoming a father, but she didn’t want to base their marriage on lies. In retrospect, she was glad they’d never had kids. But that didn’t keep her from wanting them. Now she might never get another chance to have a family of her own. And sitting among a plethora of friends and neighbors she’d known her entire life, she felt more alone than ever before.
The tempo of the music changed and Jill shook off her morose mood. Evie spiraled and stopped dead, staring straight at Jill. Lifting a hand, Jill gave a tentative wave. A wide, angelic smile broke out across Evie’s face. So sudden, that Jill knew it was a rare occurrence. And from her peripheral vision, Jill caught the glance of Brent looking her way. But other people were staring at her, too.
Taken off guard, the dancer behind Evie smacked right into her. Evie jerked around in surprise, her smile replaced by a scowl of irritation. Momentarily distracted, the two children pushed against each other, which upset the other dancers. They crowded close, taking sides. Before the dance dissolved into a brawl, Susan Galloway, the instructor, scurried up the steps and sped across the stage to break it up.
Low laughter swept across the audience. People were staring at Jill. She recognized everyone. Employees from the sawmill. The grocery store owner. Her mother’s cronies from church. People she’d gone to school with. Jill figured almost the entire town was here tonight. And as her face heated up like road flares, she felt as though every one of them was gawking at her.
Brent looked over his shoulder, his gaze latching on to Jill. She expected him to throw her a frown of disapproval. Instead, he grinned. Of course the people sitting beside her noticed. Their gazes immediately flashed back and forth between them. And Jill knew what that meant. In small towns, gossip traveled fast. No doubt they’d all be discussing this unexpected turn of events as soon as the recital ended. Some wouldn’t care. Others who earned their living with logging wouldn’t approve. No, not at all. True or false, they’d deduce that the sawmill owner was conspiring with the ranger.
She slunk lower in her seat, wishing she hadn’t waved at Evie. And yet, she figured the girl needed a friend now more than ever. Someone she could look up to. Someone she could trust. But Jill wished it didn’t have to be her.
Wasn’t Brent bothered by all the people staring at them? Didn’t he feel the disapproval in their eyes? Surely he cared what others thought. But maybe not. And she envied his self-confidence.
Releasing a low groan, Jill ducked her head and wished she could disappear into thin air. If only she hadn’t come here tonight. She wished she didn’t care what other people thought about her, but she did. And yet, maybe she should change that. Maybe she should simply do what she thought was right.
With a semblance of order restored, the little girls finished their number with a flourish of arms and bobbing heads. The audience cheered with applause. Susan led the children off stage, her face tight with a severe frown. If she didn’t realize it yet, Jill figured someone would soon tell the instructor what had caused the uproar and nearly ruined her students’ performance.
At that moment, Jill figured she had a choice. She could stay for the rest of the program and face Evie and her father in the chaotic aftermath, or she could flee. Right now. Before anyone could stop her.
But braving more angry glares as she sidled past everyone in her aisle to make a hasty retreat didn’t appeal to Jill either.
She stayed. But the remainder of the recital was pure torture. Watching the plethora of girls and one boy dance was great, but Jill didn’t want to give the town any more fodder for gossip. It was bad enough that most of them already knew about her divorce and that her ex had cheated on her. She felt ugly and unworthy to be around anyone right now. In fact, it was downright humiliating.
She tightened her fists in her lap. The moment the program ended, she popped out of her seat and pushed her way past the people in her row. Almost there.
Until she came face-to-face with Brent. He stood in her path, blocking her way to freedom.
“Hi, Jill.” He smiled, his eyes twinkling.
Heaven help her, she smiled back. “Um, hi.”
In the clogged aisle, someone bumped against her back, propelling her forward. To stop herself, she lifted her hands and pressed her palms against Brent’s solid chest. Her cheek bumped against the soft fabric of his navy shirt. He smelled delectable. Like sandalwood. And she took a deep inhale, wanting more.
He clasped her shoulders, holding her upright. A ripple of muscles moved beneath her fingertips. Her head felt suddenly woozy, as though she were going to faint.
“You okay?” he asked.
She looked up, spellbound by his translucent blue eyes. He’d slicked his hair back, his chin freshly shaven. She almost reached up to caress his smooth cheek, which would be absolutely catastrophic right now. She couldn’t understand why she’d become such a klutz around him. If she wasn’t careful, he might get the wrong idea and think she was flirting with him.
Someone coughed nearby and she snapped back, hoping no one else noticed. Trying to gain control over her sensibilities.
“Yes, I’m fine. It’s just a bit crowded in here,” she mumbled.
“It is. Come on.” He took her hand, guiding her through the horde of people to the front foyer where they had more room to move.
With his warm fingers wrapped around hers, she had no choice but to follow. With his tall height clearing
the way, everyone stepped out of their way. He commanded attention, controlling the situation without saying a word. In all her life, she’d never been so glad to trail behind someone. Clinging to his hand, she ducked her head, her cheeks blazing with heat. Currents of electricity zipped up her arm where her skin made contact with his. To avoid being rude, she didn’t pull away. Right now, she didn’t know if she should view him as her champion, or the source of her problems.
Maybe both.
It seemed hours before he released her. He’d taken her to the main foyer where long tables had been set up with white plastic tablecloths and trays of cookies. She stood beside the punch bowl accepting a paper cup he pressed into her hands. Taking a sip of red punch, she felt dazed and silly all at once. She had no idea why this man’s presence made her so nervous, or why she cared what other people thought about her. She had her life in Boise and wouldn’t be here very long. None of this mattered.
Unless someone tattled to her mother.
“Thanks for coming to Evie’s recital. It means a lot to her,” he said.
But why? Jill couldn’t understand the immediate attachment between her and Evie. Probably because she was a special-ed teacher and trained to help. To care. But why had Evie taken such a liking to her? It didn’t make sense.
“I...I also came to see Chrissy, my best friend’s daughter.” That was true, but it sounded lame to her ears. She just couldn’t stand for Brent to think she was here to see him.
“Who’s your friend?” he asked.
He leaned close enough for her to take another deep inhale of his masculine scent.
“Ellen Davinger. She’s married to Mike Davinger. Do you know them?”
He chuckled, his gaze scanning the crowd of people as they congregated in the foyer for refreshments. “I do, as a matter of fact. Chrissy’s come over to our house to play a few times. She doesn’t mind Evie’s silence and they’ve become good friends, although I’ve never been able to coax Evie into going over to Chrissy’s house without me tagging along.”
In this small town, Jill wasn’t surprised they were friends. Ellen rarely found fault with anyone, which was why Jill loved her so much. And Mike worked for the state road crews, so his livelihood wasn’t associated with the lumber business and its bias against the Forest Service. Mike could afford to let his children associate with the forest ranger’s daughter without adverse consequences falling back on his head.
“Evie was awfully cute in her performance tonight,” Jill murmured.
He laughed, the deep sound of rolling thunder. “Yeah, she definitely has a penchant for cuteness. It’s one of her specialties. But I think all the kids did a great job tonight.”
Fred Baker, a logger from the sawmill, stepped between them and reached for a peanut butter cookie. His gaze ricocheted off Jill and then Brent. His eyes darkened and his mouth tightened with disapproval as he turned and tromped away.
Glancing over her shoulder, Jill saw other people staring at her, their heads bent close together as they discussed what she was doing fraternizing with the local forest ranger.
“Um, I better get going.” Jill took a step back, prepared to run for her car the moment she hit the outer door.
Brent touched her arm with his fingertips and she fought off a shiver of excitement. “Actually, before you go, I was hoping to ask if you might be willing to...”
A tug on Jill’s hand pulled her around.
“Evie!”
The girl still wore her pink tutu and tap shoes, an expectant smile on her face.
“You did so well tonight. I can tell you’ve practiced really hard.” Jill’s voice sounded unusually high and jittery.
The girl’s smile deepened into pure bliss. Jill couldn’t fathom why her approval meant so much to the child. But heaven help her, it made her care even more.
Brent gave Evie a tight hug. “Hi, sweetheart. You did well tonight. It was a great performance. I’m so proud of you.”
Evie cast a shy glance at the floor, beaming with satisfaction. From her open body language, Jill could tell his praise pleased her. And from the standpoint of a special-ed teacher trying to help a student overcome a traumatic event, Jill believed this was great progress in increasing Evie’s self-confidence.
Ida Parker, the office manager at the mill, brushed past. When she caught sight of Jill talking with Brent, she turned in open surprise. “Jill! What are you doing here?”
The woman’s shrewd gaze darted between her, Brent and Evie. Jill almost groaned out loud. She could almost see the wheels turning in Ida’s head as she made her own deductions.
So much for Mom not finding out.
“I was attending the dance recital, of course. Ellen’s little girl was performing tonight. I’m just being supportive.” It was a lame excuse, but it should work.
“Ellen and Chrissy are way over there.” Ida pointed across the room.
The hackles lifted at the back of Jill’s neck. She didn’t like being told what to do, especially by a mill employee. But she also realized she was bypassing the order of things by speaking socially to Brent.
Jill spotted Ellen headed in her direction. So much for making a quick getaway. She would have preferred to visit Ellen tomorrow, but since she had called Jill earlier to invite her to Chrissy’s recital, she had no option but to say hello.
Seeming to understand Jill’s predicament, Brent took Evie’s hand and tugged her away. “Thanks again. We’ll say good-night, now.”
“Hi, sweetie. Oh, I’ve missed you.” Ellen gave Jill a tight hug.
“Hi, there.” Jill pasted a plastic smile on her face. Normally, she would have loved to catch up with her friend. But not right now. Not with so many other people staring at her with judgmental eyes.
“Thanks again for inviting me, Ellen—Chrissy was great.” She moved in a little closer and whispered to her friend, “Listen, I’d love to chat, but can we do it tomorrow?”
Ellen glanced at Brent, who was encouraging Evie to go into the dressing room and change her clothes. Ellen nodded, seeming to understand Jill’s discomfort. “I’ll come over to your mom’s house in the morning.”
“Sounds good.” Jill nodded and headed off, wishing she’d never come here in the first place. Wishing she’d never met Brent Knowles and his cute little girl. Because now, she felt invested in Evie. She cared about the little girl, she couldn’t deny it. And if ever there was a time in her life when she didn’t need more complications to deal with, this was it.
Chapter Five
Bright sunlight streamed through the kitchen window. With a quick twist of her wrist, Jill reached up and flipped the blind open wide. She took a deep inhale, enjoying the sudden warmth. It had rained last night, leaving behind a fragrant scent of washed earth and sage. Reaching inside the refrigerator, she pulled out a pitcher of homemade lemonade.
“So, what’s up with you and the forest ranger?”
Jill whipped her head around and stared at Ellen, who sat at the table, bouncing her ten-month-old baby, Tommy, on her knee. Ellen had come over for a visit and the two women had been chatting and catching up for the past ten minutes.
“What do you mean?” Jill’s hands became shaky all of a sudden and she tightened her grip on the glass pitcher as she shut the fridge door.
Ellen showed an impish smile. “I saw the way you two were looking at each other last night. You like him, and he likes you.”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about. I already told you how I first met him and Evie. When we see each other, it’s normal for us to say hello. It’s nothing more than that. He’s the forest ranger, after all.” Jill set the pitcher on the counter and reached for two glasses. She hid her scalding face behind the cupboard door, telling herself she had nothing to be embarrassed about. There was nothing between her and Brent Knowles. So why did she f
eel as though there was?
Ellen shook her head. “I’m glad you were there to help Evie that day at the gas station. She’s such a sweet little thing. She must be missing her mommy an awful lot. To actually see her mother get killed, it’s no wonder the girl won’t speak a word.”
“Yeah, the situation must be difficult for both her and Brent. I honestly don’t know how they’re doing as well as they are. It says a lot about Brent that he hasn’t given up on Evie,” Jill said.
“Yes, from what I’ve observed, he’s a man with loyal principles. Unlike that snake in the grass you recently divorced.”
Jill’s mouth dropped open as she thought of a rebuttal. She wanted to defend David but couldn’t. Not if she were being honest with herself. He didn’t deserve it.
“But you sure were chummy with Brent last night,” Ellen continued with a lift of her brows. “You sure you’re not attracted to him?”
Jill shrugged, trying to act casual. Trying to ignore the pounding of her heart. Of course she found him attractive. She’d have to be dead not to. “I’m recently divorced.”
“And what’s that got to do with Brent?”
“I’m not interested in any man. We were just discussing the dance recital. No big deal. We’re acquaintances, nothing more.”
Jill poured the lemonade and carried the glasses to the table, setting one in front of her friend. Ellen reached for a chocolate chip cookie and broke off a tiny piece for Tommy. With only two teeth, the baby gummed the cookie happily.
As she slid into her seat, Jill felt Ellen’s gaze resting on her like a ten-ton sledge. To hide her discomposure, Jill reached for her glass and took a sip. It went down the wrong pipe and she coughed.
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