“No, b-but...” Ronnie stammered and cast a pleading glance at Liam.
“But what?” Melody wailed.
Liam held up his hands. “Everyone just calm down. Maybe we should take a break for a minute.”
We. He had nothing to do with this. He’d been in the room less than three minutes, and now he was talking in terms of we.
“We don’t have time for a break, Pastor.” Melody’s lower lip wobbled ever so slightly. Great. She was on the verge of tears.
“She’s right.” Posy shook her head. “We have an enormous amount of work to do. They’ve got to learn the entire dance this afternoon if we’re going to have time to perfect it before the recital.”
“Okay. Well, what exactly seems to be the problem?” he asked. Other than the fact that the two dancers wanted to strangle one another.
“He keeps letting go.” Melody shot an accusatory glare at Ronnie. “I think he’s doing it on purpose.”
“No, I’m not. It’s just weird, that’s all,” Ronnie said. “I thought we’d be dancing.”
“We would be, if you’d keep your hands on my waist.” Melody pointed at either side of her waist with exaggerated force. Ronnie looked as if he wanted to die.
“Let’s try it again, shall we?” Posy smiled, but Liam could see the worry creeping into her expression. “Ronnie, stand here. Right here.”
She moved Ronnie by the shoulders until he was standing less than an inch behind Melody.
“Now isn’t the time to be shy.” She took his hands and planted them on Melody’s waist. “If you don’t support her, she’ll fall. Do you want that?”
If you don’t support her, she’ll fall.
Liam cleared his throat.
“No, of course not,” Ronnie said.
There was hesitation in his posture. Liam could see it. He was afraid. Sure enough, as soon as Posy turned the music back on and Melody stretched into her arabesque, Ronnie’s grip on her waist grew more and more tentative. Melody wobbled on tiptoe and nearly spilled onto the floor.
Posy shook her head. “Whatever you do, don’t let go of her.”
Whatever you do, don’t let go of her.
The back of Liam’s neck began to perspire.
“I’m not,” Ronnie said and somehow managed to keep holding on until Melody straightened upright again. He breathed a visible sigh of relief when both of her feet were back on the floor. “I did it.”
He was right. He’d done it. It hadn’t been pretty. Or graceful by any stretch of the imagination, but at least no one had ended up facedown on the ground.
“That was good, Ronnie. But I want you to think about something. Pas de deux means step of two, and in this dance, each dancer is just as important as the other. The ballerina is usually the dancer who is showcased.” She pointed at Melody, who beamed.
Posy continued. “Throughout the dance, the audience will be looking at her graceful arabesque and her beautiful positions. But she can only do these things because you’re there, supporting her. Alone, a ballerina can dance beautifully, but with a partner, she can do so much more.”
Liam’s chest grew tight for some odd reason. He suddenly found it difficult to breathe.
“Her dance partner remains largely in the background, but it’s his support that allows her to float across the stage with such beauty. That’s why the pas de deux is usually the bravura highlight of a ballet. That’s what makes it special. Oftentimes it looks as though the danseur isn’t dancing at all, but the ballerina couldn’t do what she does without him. Do you understand?”
Ronnie nodded. “I do.”
Liam glanced at Posy. Her gaze met his for a prolonged, electrically charged moment before she looked away.
Liam shifted uncomfortably from one foot to the other. He shouldn’t be here. This wasn’t his world. It never had been, and it never would be. And yet...
Alone, a ballerina can dance beautifully, but with a partner she can do so much more.
Why did he get the feeling that Posy had been talking about far more than a simple dance between two teenagers?
Don’t read into things. She’s talking about ballet. Nothing more.
“Liam and I will show you. Won’t we?” Posy crossed her arms over her wraparound leotard top and raised her eyebrows at him.
He swallowed. “We will?”
Grow up. She’s not asking any more of you than you’re expecting from Ronnie. And he’s a kid.
“Sure.” She restarted the music, then took her place back in the center of the room and reached for him. “Come on.”
Melody and Ronnie stared at him, waiting. He had no choice. What kind of example would he set if he refused?
Wordlessly, he took his place behind her.
She took his hands in hers and placed them on her waist. Was it his imagination, or was there a slight tremor in her fingertips? “All you have to do is hold on. Got it?”
All you have to do is let me. “Got it.”
She leaned forward into a deep arabesque, her left leg rising at an impossibly high angle. Liam kept a firm grip on her waist, steadying her, helping her balance. He could feel her heartbeat through the tips of his fingers, the quickening of her breath in his palms. She lowered her leg and began a series of rapid turns on one foot, spinning through his hands like a top. Round and round, so quickly that Liam lost count of the rotations. Once or twice she lost her center, but his grip quickly righted her, and she kept on going. And going. She didn’t stop until the music came to an end.
Then it was over.
Melody and Ronnie burst into applause.
“See, that’s how you do it,” Melody said. “It was perfect, simply perfect.”
“Not quite perfect,” Liam muttered, finally finding his voice after a minute or two of breathless confusion. What had just happened?
“Yes.” Posy nodded. For a moment, Liam could have sworn he saw tears glistening in her eyes. Then she blinked, and they were gone. “Yes, it was. Perfect. Thank you, Liam.”
Don’t let go.
His hands felt painfully empty all of a sudden. “You’re welcome.”
Chapter Sixteen
Posy could scarcely believe it, but things had finally come together. The girls had memorized their dances, the venue was ready, the programs had been printed and the costumes altered by Kirimi at no charge. Even Ronnie had stepped up to the plate, and after the initial disastrous rehearsal, the pas de deux was presentable. It wasn’t a masterpiece by any stretch of the imagination, but it would work. Posy was sure of it. The audience would never expect to see a boy onstage, and she’d choreographed a rather grand entrance for him.
By all indications, everything was perfect, and not a moment too soon. The recital was in less than twenty-four hours.
No more dance classes, no more practice, no more rehearsals. They’d had the final dress rehearsal immediately following school. The only thing left to do was get a good night’s sleep and show up at the church the next evening to caravan over to the community center where the recital was being held. She was beginning to believe that she could actually pull it off. And what was more, she thought they might even have a chance at winning the grant.
Then why did she have such an uneasy feeling in the pit of her stomach?
Because once the recital is finished, it’s all over.
How had five and a half weeks gone by so quickly? She felt as if she’d just touched down on the frozen airstrip behind the Northern Lights Inn. Now she had only three days left until her audition back in San Francisco. The morning after the recital, she’d be sitting on an airplane headed back to her real life.
Real life.
She thought about her lonely apartment back in the city and how she’d never even gotten around to purchasing real plates and bowls since she was often too b
usy or too tired to cook. Take-out containers worked just fine. She thought about how she’d spent Christmas morning last year alone since she’d had to perform the The Nutcracker the night before, and once the show was over, it had been too late to catch a flight to Alaska. She thought about how company class was so quiet that she could hear the swish of each and every pair of ballet slippers as they whispered across the hardwood floor. Then she thought about the laughter of the girls in the youth group, and she thought about Liam and the way he’d spun her around the pond.
Suddenly she couldn’t quite figure out which life was real and which one was only temporary.
Don’t be ridiculous. You’ve got a shot at your dream job back in California. The chance to audition for a principal spot doesn’t come along every day, or even every year.
Once this was all over, she’d go back to her real life. Everything would go back to the way it had been before. Everything. That included things with Liam. It had to.
Even so, she felt a vague sense of dread hanging in the air as she came home from dress rehearsal. The look on her mother’s face when she greeted her in the foyer didn’t help matters.
“Where have you been?” she asked. “Gabriel has called here for you three times in the past hour.”
“Rehearsal ran late. What do you mean Gabriel called?” There had to be a mistake. Why would Gabriel call her childhood home looking for her? He had her cell number.
Then again, she hadn’t exactly been paying attention to her cell phone much lately. She hadn’t had time. The recital had completely taken over her life.
“He said he found our number in your paperwork from when you first joined the company. And I have to say, Posy, he didn’t sound happy. The Firebird auditions are tomorrow afternoon, and he said he still hasn’t gotten confirmation of your arrival back in San Francisco.” Posy’s mom threw her hands in the air. “Did you know about this?”
Panic blossomed in Posy’s chest. She couldn’t breathe all of a sudden. She needed to sit down. And apparently, she needed to do so in San Francisco, not her childhood living room in Alaska. “I don’t understand. The last I heard, the auditions were scheduled for the twenty-fifth. This can’t possibly be happening.”
God, please. This isn’t real. It can’t be.
It just can’t.
* * *
When Liam’s doorbell rang right as he was heading to bed, he worried something had happened to one of the kids from youth group. He was unable to think of anyone else who would even call him at that time of night, much less show up on his doorstep. The last person he expected to find on the other side of the door was Posy.
Yet there she stood.
With tears streaming down her face.
“Posy?” He swung the door open wider. “Come in, come in.”
She stepped over the threshold, but went no farther. She simply stood there in his entryway, hugging herself and looking as though the bottom had dropped out of her entire world.
Sundog climbed off the sofa and came running the moment he spotted Posy, greeting her in tail-wagging ecstasy. Whatever was wrong, Liam thought such an effusive welcome would cheer her up, even just a fraction. Posy and Sundog had become fast friends after the night Liam had danced with her at the pond. She’d even begun to teach the dog new tricks in addition to the sit command, which they’d pretty much perfected during Posy’s moments of downtime at the church.
If anything, Sundog’s delight upon seeing her only appeared to make her more upset. Liam wondered if something had happened to one of her parents. Or possibly Zoey or Anya. Whatever was wrong, he was glad she’d come to him, even if it felt wholly surreal to see her standing in his house.
It had been the final vestige, past or present. The only part of his life that had been untouched by Posy. She somehow managed to look both as if she belonged there and as if she wasn’t actually standing there at all. A vision. A dream.
“Sit down. Please,” he said.
Sundog plopped into a sit position.
Liam shook his head. “Not you. Here.” He handed Sundog a rawhide chew that was sure to last less than five seconds and pointed toward his dog bed. “Go keep yourself busy.”
Sundog snatched the rawhide in his sizable jaws, strolled right past the dog bed and settled himself on the sofa. Naturally. At least he’d ceased gnawing on its cushions.
“Come all the way in and sit down, darling.” Liam reached for her hand and gave it a gentle tug.
She shook her head. “Don’t. Please don’t. Don’t hold my hand, and don’t call me darling. This is hard enough. Please don’t make it harder by being so nice to me.”
He dropped her hand. He still didn’t know what had gotten her so upset, but he had the distinct feeling that the bottom was about to drop out of his world. Not hers. “Posy, why are you here?”
She took a deep breath. “To say goodbye.”
He’d known this was coming. Not a moment went by in which he didn’t think about her eventual departure. Every moment of the past five and a half weeks had felt like some sort of angst-ridden countdown.
But why now? She wasn’t leaving for three more days. “Posy, let’s not do this now. You’re not ready. I’m not ready. There will be time for goodbyes.”
She wiped at her face. She’d stopped crying, and her expression had turned blank. Emotionless. She looked like a person who was pretending to be someone else. “No, you don’t understand. My audition has been rescheduled. I’m leaving tomorrow.”
“Tomorrow.” But that was impossible. “You can’t leave tomorrow. The recital is tomorrow night.”
“I know. I hate to miss it, but everything is all set. I’m sure it will go off without a hitch...”
He held up a hand. “Stop. Don’t, Posy. Think about what you’re saying. You can’t do this.” Again. It took every ounce of self-control he possessed not to say that ugly word. “You can’t do this to those girls. They love you. It would break their hearts.”
“I don’t have a choice. If I don’t go, I’ll miss the audition and there won’t be another one. Maybe ever. This is my career we’re talking about.”
Ballet, ballet, ballet. Wasn’t it what they were always talking about?
“But you’re dancing here tomorrow night. Remember?” He didn’t care why she stuck around for the recital, only that she did. He would hang her performance over her head if he had to. He’d get her to stay by whatever means necessary. After the recital, she could go to Timbuktu for all he cared. The girls would be heartbroken if she wasn’t alongside them on that community-center stage.
“My variation isn’t part of their recital. It’s nothing. A tiny solo tacked onto the end. No one will miss me.” Her tongue tripped on her last sentence, as if even her physical body knew how profoundly untrue it was.
Everyone would miss her. Not just at the recital, but afterward, too. For days, weeks and months to come. Everyone. Even him.
Especially him.
“Posy...” He shook his head, unwilling, unable to say the one word he most wanted to say.
Stay.
“It’s decided, Liam. I’m going. It’s out of my hands. You don’t understand. I have no choice.”
She couldn’t have been more wrong. He understood perfectly. “You always have a choice.”
Chapter Seventeen
“Are you sure about this?” Zoey asked as she held the door to the cockpit of her tiny plane open for Posy. “Because it’s not too late to change your mind.”
“I’m sure,” Posy said, even though she’d never been less sure of anything in her life.
She’d been heartsick when she’d left Liam’s house the night before. Absolutely physically ill. She hadn’t slept a wink all night long. Every time she’d closed her eyes, she’d seen that look of bitter disappointment on his face.
> The worst part, the very worst, was just how long it had taken that look to make an appearance. She’d expected him to become angry the moment she’d told him the news. He hadn’t. Rather than fury, his initial reaction had been one of disbelief. Even after all they’d been through, after the way she’d left and never looked back, he’d been unwilling to believe she would do it again. He’d had faith she would do the right thing and be there for the girls. And it was that faith that had nearly brought her to her knees.
She sat woodenly beside Zoey as she conducted her preflight check. Posy owed her big for making the time to get her to Anchorage so quickly. She’d had a handful of charter flights in the morning and midafternoon, but as soon as her schedule had freed up, she’d made plans to get Posy there. The connection time between when they were due to land in Anchorage and when her commercial flight to San Francisco took off would be tight, but she’d still be able to make it so long as everything went smoothly.
The irony, of course, was that she’d be flying directly over the community center as the recital got under way. She wasn’t sure she’d be able to look down. She didn’t think she could bear it.
“Zoey, am I doing the right thing?” she asked, holding her dance bag tightly to her chest. Her dance bag had been a security blanket for as long as she could remember. And before her dance bag, it had been her purse, because she’d always kept her pointe shoes nestled safely inside. She knew it was silly, but she liked to have those shoes with her. So in bad times, times when it felt as if she was losing everything, she would always have ballet to hold close to her heart.
“I don’t know, Posy. Only you can answer that question.” Zoey fastened her clipboard in its place on the center console of the cockpit and grabbed her headset. “How do you feel about leaving? Does it feel right?”
No. It feels wrong.
But that didn’t make sense at all. If she didn’t show up for her audition, all those years of dance would have been for nothing. Leaving Aurora the first time would have been for nothing.
She couldn’t turn back time. Staying now wouldn’t change anything that had gone on before. She couldn’t change the past.
Love Inspired March 2015 - Box Set 1 of 2: A Wife for JacobThe Forest Ranger's RescueAlaskan Homecoming Page 56