“Fuck,” I yelled out into the air, as my hands slammed against the ground next to me. “Asshole.”
I knew I had to replace Chris' phone, and that made me even more upset. It wasn't the cheapest phone either. The poor guy had a busted up lip because of my childish behavior. He'd done me a favor, and it bit him in the ass.
I thought I heard a noise and jerked my head up to look around, but there wasn't anyone there. It was getting darker by the minute. I let my head fall back against the sand and closed my eyes again. The tears weren't stopping. Everything was coming to the surface.
How was I going to face my family, I wondered? My mom and dad knew I'd slept with Jackson. I could only imagine what they thought of me. Tim was probably disappointed in his little sister. What a joke. He'd been with several girls in high school. Why was I feeling bad about sleeping with someone once I'd turned eighteen? At least I wouldn't have to see Jackson again. That would suck even more than facing my parents and brother. Maybe I could visit with my mom and dad without Tim being there. He'd probably be flying off to who knows where with Renee. She was flashing around some kind of plane tickets Jackson had bought them. Would they still go, I wondered? If he was as upset as Chris said, there was no way he'd still take that trip.
I felt like such an idiot. Who fakes having a boyfriend when they're almost thirty? Me, that's who. Jackson probably thought I was a complete loser. He was probably laughing and patting himself on the back for being able to still fuck with me. I could only imagine what he must have thought of me.
One more day, I thought. I could get through lunch with my parents. Then I'd go home and never come back. They were probably all ashamed of me and my behavior at the reception. I cried out into the air again and sat up with my eyes closed, my elbows on my knees, and my face in my hands.
“Why do I still let you do this to me?” I asked out loud. “What the fuck is wrong with me?”
I thought about Jackson and Tim and wondered what happened after I left. What did Tim say? What did my parents say? Shit! Jackson's parents were horrible. I was sure that hadn't changed. My parents were a million times better to him than his were. Would my parents treat him different? Would they stop talking to him? Would my brother and him stop being friends? I had my life in New York. I had Jen, Rachel, and Chris. Would he have anyone? I shouldn't have yelled that out, I thought. It had been ten years since that had happened. There was no reason for my family to know about it. I was just so upset that he was judging Chris when what he had done had such a huge impact on my life. That didn't matter to him. He obviously thought it was okay. If not, he wouldn't have been freaking out on Chris like he was.
“I'm so damn sorry, Jackie,” I whispered. “I hope you don't lose them.”
I opened my eyes and looked out over the water, quietly saying goodbye to the beauty around me. I knew that when I left, I wasn't ever coming back. It didn't mattered what happened. I needed to move on with my life. Seeing Jackson was so much harder than I thought it would be. I'd ruined everything. I needed to leave and not come back. I reached down to push myself to my feet and stumbled when I heard his voice.
“You shouldn't be out here alone.”
My foot slipped in the sand, and I felt his hands grab under my arms and pull me to my feet.
“Shit,” I yelled, as I pushed away from him.
“Are you okay?” he asked in a soft tone.
“I'm fine,” I snapped at him. “What are you doing out here? How long have you been there?”
I finally got my feet to cooperate and steadied myself. He took a step closer, but I took one back and reached up to wipe my hands across my face.
“I came looking for you,” he said.
His hand lifted my chin, and I felt a shiver move through my body. When my eyes connected with his, I felt like my world was caving in on me. I couldn't breathe and gasped to get air into my lungs. The look on his face was breaking my heart. He looked devastated and exhausted. I knew that look wasn't for me. It was most likely from what happened after I left, and I felt horrible about it.
“I was on my way back to the hotel,” I said.
He ran his thumbs under my eyes, and I pulled away. I couldn't have him touching me.
“I need to talk to you, Tiny,” he said.
“Please don't call me that anymore, Jackson. I'm sorry. I know I shouldn't have said anything. It just came out. I hope you and my brother are okay. I don't blame you for being mad. It wasn't my place. I ruined everything. I'm sorry for embarrassing you.”
“Tiny,” he said.
“Stop,” I said, as I shook my head. “It will never happen again. Everything will be better after tomorrow. I'll fix it. I promise.”
I turned to walk down the beach, but he grabbed my arm and pulled me back.
“I'm not embarrassed. I never have been,” he said. “I need to talk to you. I need to explain what happened before.”
I shook my head.
“No,” I said. “I can't do this. I have to go. I have to get out of here.”
I pulled my arm hard and he let go. When I reached down to grab my flip-flops, I heard him whisper my name. I stood up and turned away from him. As I was running away, I heard him yell out.
“It's not what you think. It was Tim. I did it because of Tim. Fuck, Tiny.”
I didn't stop. I kept running until I knew he couldn't see me. Then I kept moving until I was at my room. As soon as I walked in and the door closed, I slid down it with my face in my hands and sobbed.
Chris was by my side in seconds. He scooped me up, walked me to my bed, and sat down with me still in his arms. My arms wrapped around his neck. I knew I was soaking him, but he never complained. He just held me. I had no idea how long I cried before the tears stopped and he pulled back.
“What happened?” he asked. “Did he hurt you?”
“No,” I answered. “He wanted to talk, but I took off. I couldn't look in his eyes. He'd suck me right in. I'd end up thinking he cared, and I can't let that happen. I need to see my parents in the morning and get out of here. I need to go home. I'm never coming back here again. I need to get on with my life.”
“Tina,” he said. “I'm not sure that's the best idea. There is something between the two of you that you need to solve before you leave here.”
“Don't you start too,” I said, as I shook my head at him. “I'm going to bed.”
“Your phone has been going crazy since you left,” he said. “You might want to see who it was before you go to sleep.”
“Okay,” I said. “Do you want to get a new phone before we fly out or when we get home?”
He turned and walked out of the room.
“Don't worry about it,” he said.
“What do you mean don't worry about it?” I asked, as I picked my phone up from the bed and pulled back the covers.
“Jackson dropped off a new one,” he said, as he walked into the bathroom and closed the door.
I turned my phone on to find messages and calls from my brother. I should have known that was coming. He probably wanted to give me a speech about fake boyfriends and doing his best friend. I was so afraid to call him back, but I figured if I did, he wouldn't show up at my parents to talk about it the next day. Over the phone was much better than in person. There was no way I wanted to see his face when we had that conversation.
Tim: I can't believe that just happened.
Tim: We need to talk, Tina.
Tim: Where the fuck are you?
Tim: Are you okay?
I took a huge breath in, let it out slowly, and hit the call button on his number.
“Shit!” he said as soon as he picked it up.
“Hello to you too,” I said.
“Do not hello me,” he said roughly. “We need to talk.”
“No,” I said. “You need to go do your new wife. Why are you calling me?”
“You do not drop a bomb like that and expect to be left alone, Tina. Are you at the hotel? I'm coming over there.�
�
“No,” I yelled, as I cut him off. “You are not. If you do, I will be gone. We can talk right now. What do you want me to say to make you feel all gooey inside?”
“Not funny,” he said. “This is not a time for joking around. Why did you introduce Chris as your boyfriend if he wasn't? What the hell happened between you and Jackson?”
“Chris is my best friend. I felt a little stressed and blurted it out before I thought about it. There was no way I was going to take it back. I didn't expect any of you to see him kissing someone else.”
“You don't have to be with someone,” he said. “We wouldn't have pressured you or anything.”
“That's my problem, not yours,” I said.
“What about Jackson? That fucker is going to get an ass kicking. I'm not letting this go.”
“I don't see how that should matter to you either,” I said. “It was ten years ago, Tim. He's your best friend and a part of your family, our family.”
“Was my best friend. I should have known. I can't believe you kept it from me. He should have been dealt with then.”
“Seriously,” I said sarcastically. “You're going to let something that happened between us that long ago ruin your friendship. That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard. It wasn't like it was all his fault. I was there too. I could have walked away. He was the one I wanted to be with my first time.”
“What?” he screamed into the phone. “That's it. I asked that fucker one thing. He couldn't do it.”
“You better cut your shit, Tim. You will not say another word about it. It is none of your business. I was eighteen. He tried to stop, but I pushed him to keep going. I don't regret being with him that day. What were my chances of being with anyone ever? I knew you were blocking me from talking to guys. I had no idea he was worse than you. What do you mean you asked him one thing?”
It had just registered what he had said.
“What?” he asked. “Nothing. What do you mean he was worse than me?”
“He was threatening guys that wanted to talk to me while he was away at college. I just found that out today. Do not tell me nothing. You tell me right now what you meant by you asked him one thing, and he couldn't do it.”
Tim was silent on the other side of the phone.
“If you do not tell me right this second, you will be sorry, Tim.”
“Tina,” he growled.
“Now,” I growled back.
“I have to pack,” he said.
“Pack for what?” I asked. “Are you talking about the tickets and whatever else Jackson gave you today?”
“Yes,” he said.
“That is complete bullshit,” I yelled into the phone. “You are not going to talk about how horrible he is and how he's not your friend or family anymore and then run off on a vacation he paid for. How could you even think about doing that?”
“It wasn't any loss to him, come on,” he said. “Like he's going to miss it.”
“You're an asshole. I can't believe you would say that. He didn't have to do that for you. It's not his job to send you on a vacation. I'm sure he worked hard for that money.”
Tim laughed into the phone.
“You don't know anything about him, Tina,” he said.
When I was walking away on the beach, Jackson said it wasn't what I thought. He said it was because of Tim. Tim said he asked Jackson one thing. What they hell were they talking about, I wondered?
“I will give you one more chance to tell me what you meant when you said you asked Jackson to do one thing. What did you ask him?”
“Why?” he asked. “It's not like you care.”
“You ran every part of my life you could, Tim.”
“I was protecting you,” he said.
“From what?” I asked. “It wasn't your job to protect me. You needed to let me live my life. You put your nose in my business every chance you could.”
“I just didn't want you to get hurt. What's so wrong with that? What is so wrong with me loving my sister enough to not want guys to use her? Look at you. You're so damn different now. You knew he was a player. Girls were falling all over him. I didn't want you to just be another one of those girls. When I saw you at your thirteenth birthday and he was joking around about kissing you, I saw the way you looked at him. There was no way he was ever going to touch you. Do you hear me? I wasn't stupid. I knew you had a crush on him. I never wanted his hands on you. He was my best friend. He fucking promised me.”
“Shit!” I cried out. “I have to go. If you go on that trip after you decided he was no longer your friend, then you are not the man I thought you were. Have a great time. I'm sorry you found out. Goodbye.”
“Tina,” I heard him yell as I hit the end call button.
I threw my phone down on my bed and took off through the door of our room. When I reached the elevator, I didn't know what to do. Where was he, I wondered? I knew he was in the same hotel. Had he left? I pushed the down button, jumped in when the doors opened, and pushed L for Lobby over and over. I ran through the lobby and out into the parking lot. His car was still there. The car he rented was right next to mine. I ran back into the lobby and that girl from school gave me a strange look. By the time I reached the desk, I could barely breathe.
“What room?” I asked with a gasp.
“What?” she asked.
“Jackson,” I said. “What room is his?”
“I can't tell you that,” she said with a smirk.
“Fine,” I said. “I'll call my brother and get it.”
I turned to walk away, and she let out a huff before saying the room number in a snotty tone.
“Thank you,” I said, as I ran for the elevator and began pushing the up button repeatedly.
I hurried in and pushed the button for the top floor. What was with the top floor, I thought? He probably had a great view of the beach. His ass was always lucky. As soon as the doors opened, I flew out and looked around. It was different than our floor. There was usually a list of which direction to go for which room numbers. His floor didn't have that. There was a door to the left and a door to the right. The number she gave me was on the right. I shook my head and hurried over to it. Without thinking, I pounded on the door. After a moment, I pounded again and kept going until the door swung open wide.
“What?” he yelled out before looking up to actually see who it was.
I stood silent with my bottom lip pulled between my teeth as I moved nervously from one foot to the other. Maybe I should have taken the time to think about what I wanted to say before rushing to his room. He stood in front of me looking so damn good. His pink shirt only highlighted his sexiness. The sleeves were rolled up and the top two buttons were undone. Every nerve in my body felt his presence. Being around him instantly warmed me. I stood for a moment longer before looking into his eyes.
“Can I come in?” I asked.
Chapter 5
Jackson
When I opened the door, I thought it was Tim. Tina looked up at me so unsure and nervous. How could she feel that way? I never wanted her to feel that way with me. She was there. I couldn't believe it and had no idea what to say to her. There was no way I wanted to say something that would have her turning to run. I watched her gaze move down and back up my body before landing on my eyes. How much could she see, I wondered? I felt like she could see straight into my heart. Nobody ever made me feel that uneasy and nervous. I was a confident man that controlled every single thing I was involved in. My guard was never down. I was always in charge. That was how I'd done as well as I had. She was the only woman that could rip that all away in seconds. I never felt that confidence with her. She scared the shit out of me. How funny. If she only knew. I could stand tall in front of some of the richest men in the world and never waver while making deals worth millions of dollars. Then there was her. Tiny could bring me to my knees in seconds.
I'd been there to hear what she'd said on the beach, but I didn't let her know it. I watched her sit there so co
nflicted with herself. She'd said she couldn't believe she let me do this to her and that she hoped I didn't lose her family. Did she care about me? What did I do to her?
We stood for what seemed like forever with our eyes connected. She was definitely nervous.
“Can I come in?” she asked in almost a whisper.
As soon as I nodded slightly, she walked through the door and stopped frozen.
“Shit!” she whispered before looking around.
I watched her eyes travel around the entire room. There were couches and chairs everywhere. The television filled an entire wall. There were wall to ceiling windows that looked out onto the beach. She looked over at the large dining table. When she turned toward me, she shook her head.
“This is exactly what I was telling my mom about,” she said. “Why can't you just be yourself?”
“What?” I asked.
“Nothing,” she said. “I'm leaving tomorrow. I won't be back. It's harder than I thought it would be, Jackie. You need to fix this with Tim and my parents. I need to know that everything's okay. It's all my fault. I'm so damn sorry for saying that to you there. It was wrong of me. I know that. I will never do anything to screw up your relationship with them again. My mom loves you. You know that. Do not let me get in the way. Everything is my fault. I shouldn't have come back.”
“Tiny,” I said.
“Stop it,” she said. “You tried to stop that day. You changed your mind, but I asked you to keep going. You wanted to walk away, and I didn't let you. I wanted you to be my first. That part I don't regret. I was only eighteen and had no experience. You were twenty and had women falling at your feet. I get it. I was your friend's little sister. It was so stupid of me to think that you'd be interested in me. I was quiet and shy and nothing like the girls you were with. You wanted to leave but felt bad. You sat down and talked to me like never before. I was caught up in the moment. I thought I had a chance with you. I'd missed you so damn bad while you were away at school. I can't blame you for being gone the next morning. It wasn't your fault. I'd have been embarrassed too if I were you.”
“That's total bullshit,” I growled. “You listen to me.”
In Love with My Brother's Best Friend: Complete Box Set Page 11