Ding-dong! No way was I getting up. It wasn’t girl scout season. Ding-dong! I just couldn’t see the point of getting up. There was absolutely no one on the planet I wanted to see. Ding-dong!
“Come back with a fucking warrant!” I yelled at the door, praying that whoever it was would get the message.
Ding-dong!
“Fine! Fine! I’m coming. Don’t get your panties in a twist!”
Finally irritated enough to see who it was, I wrapped the afghan around myself like a cape and shambled over the door. The shotgun my mom kept in case of bad guys was within an arm’s reach in the adjacent closet if needed. I peeled back the door and glared balefully at…. Glitter dude? Cole Rylander was standing on my doorstep.
My irritation drained out of me all at once. In my anger the night before, I’d managed to ignore his physical appearance. Now though, I couldn’t deny that he was objectively, well, pretty damn perfect. Tall, with amber-colored eyes, dark glossy hair and smooth tan skin, his even, symmetrical features and athletic body ticked all my boxes. The fact that he was older than me, probably my brother’s age, twenty, and not from my oppressive Plano high school didn’t hurt either. I slammed the door in a panic.
Ding-dong! Ding-dong!
I opened the door much more sheepishly the second time around. Cole and I blinked at each other in the late afternoon sun. My heart pounded furiously.
“I brought you some flowers to apologize for the glitter,” he said. His voice was a baritone rumble. I looked at the delicate bouquet of daisies he was extending in wonder. I had suddenly lost the power of speech.
“Ugh…” I managed. Why was he here? What did he want?
“I didn’t know that Ward even had a little sister,” he was explaining rapidly. “I really didn’t mean to ruin your night, or your dress. It was a prank meant for him, I swear. Ward told me he’d kick my ass if I didn’t come down here and apologize to you, so, um, here I am.”
My disbelief was complete.
“You don’t know Travis?” I could barely believe it.
Cole shook his head. His amber-brown eyes shined with earnestness. “Who? No. I don’t know any Travis. I was just messing with Ward. The glitter wasn’t meant for you. I really am sorry.”
I bit down on my somewhat still-glittery lip. The prank had been meant for Ward?
“You brought me flowers?” I warbled, completely charmed. Nobody had ever bought me flowers before. Not even on a date. Especially not someone so cute.
Cole nodded. He seemed to be searching my face for something, because he was gazing at me intently. It made it hard to keep looking at him, but at the same time, I wanted to keep looking at him forever. Maybe he wanted to see if I was still angry. I wasn’t. With hesitant fingers, I reached out and took the flowers from Cole’s grasp, feeling a little electric thrill when our fingers touched.
“Thank you. I like daisies.” My voice was just over a whisper. I was usually chock full of words (it was sort-of my weakness) but at this moment I was unable to think of any snippy comments. All I could do was stare at the apologetic, handsome man in front of me. He didn’t even mention the whole deer pee thing. “They’re beautiful.”
He smiled at me, and just like that, I knew I was lost.
1
Kate
Eight years later…
Sweetie
Honey
Gorgeous
Darlin’
Sugar
“Come on, Baby.” The drunk guy’s voice somehow managed to be condescending and whiny at the same time. “Don’t be like that. I’m not making any trouble.”
What is it about working in a bar makes tipsy dudes think it’s okay to refer to grown women like we’re miniature poodles? Drunk women generally don’t do that. Just the men. It’s one of life’s little mysteries, but it still makes my skin crawl. My job might have been to pour drinks and serve them, but I didn’t have to flirt with my customers or otherwise pretend to have more than a professional interest in them. That’s not part of the job. At least, it shouldn’t be. After several years working at the Lone Star Lounge, I was fresh out of patience.
“Listen up and listen good. I’m not your baby.” How many times would I have to have this conversation? The drunk man in front of me on the barstool looked dumbfounded. “You’re sloppy drunk, you aren’t listening to me, and I’m cutting you off.”
“But I—,” he tried to grab my wrist and I kicked his barstool in response, making him jump and unsettling him enough that he blinked out of his stupor. I knew I needed to make the most of any lucidity he’d scraped together. “What’s that ma’am?” His voice had turned sheepish.
My answer was cold and direct. “My brother Ward, who owns this bar, is having his engagement party tonight. All the customers need to move to the patio. I told you this when you sat down. Go out there and sober up. Drink this water.” I pointed at the glass in front of him.
Drunk guy made his shaky way to his feet, grabbed his water, and reluctantly made his way to the patio. He was the last patron to leave the main room, and now that he was gone, I could finally, finally start decorating. I had a lot to do. I rubbed my hands together in anticipation. Behind the bar, our bartender Willie smirked at me.
“You really have a way with the drunks, Kate.” Willie’s sarcasm was a rare gift. I supposed I had been a bit abrasive with the guy. More than usual, anyway. I could have been nicer.
I sighed and ran a frustrated hand through my carefully blown-out hair. “I just don’t want anybody messing up the party.” I admitted. As the sister of the groom and best friend of the bride, I’d put a lot of time and energy into planning this engagement party. Even though I was sure I’d thought of everything, I couldn’t shake the feeling that I’d forgotten something important. I started running through the list of tasks in my head: caterers, decorations, music, guest list…
“Your lack of patience is going to have a direct effect on your tips tonight,” Willie reminded me. It was a conversation we’d had many times. I generally left the more difficult drunk-wrangling to Ward, he was better at it. Mostly because he was big and scary and male. I usually just came off as a bitch, even if I was in the right. And as the sober party in any conflict, I was pretty much always in the right.
“Patience is for those who wait.” My typically short reply was even more halfhearted than usual. Keeping my temper under control was a constant battle but worrying about the party was making it especially hard.
“It’ll be fine,” Willie promised. I nodded vaguely, and it earned me a grin. Willie could tell that I was anxious, and I think he was enjoying it. “Relax Kate! It’s just a party. You planned for everything. Everyone is going to have a great time. Even you.”
Two hours and some champagne later and I was enjoying myself. Very much so. Emma, my future sister-in-law had just asked me to be her Maid of Honor. Visions of lace, tulle, satin, and silk charmeuse danced in my head. Emma needed to wear a slinky style. She was built for an old Hollywood dress. Something that Vivian Leigh would have worn to the Oscars. Not white. Either antique ivory or maybe even a light, champagne gold. I could already see it coming together in my mind.
Staring dreamily off into the distance as I weighed the pros and cons of a corseted style, my eyes caught on a familiar face out the sea of strangers. Cole Rylander’s face.
He was staring right at me.
In a dizzy instant, my happiness drained out of me all at once. I felt empty and lightheaded from the sudden shift.
Oh god, why didn’t somebody warn me he would be here? My own mind answered back with a snide reply. Because nobody knows about your weird, fucked-up fascination with him. Cole was still staring at me knowingly.
“Kate?” Emma asked, following my gaze. “Are you ok?”
Well, almost nobody.
“Yeah, fine,” I lied, shaking my head. I needed to get away from her and my brother before I lost it. “I’m going to go powder my nose. Be right back.”
I scuttled off and splashed c
old water on my face (who the hell powders their nose?). I looked at my cowardly reflection in the mirror until I couldn’t stand the sight any more. Although I was sure I’d just given away my carefully concealed secret away to Ward and Emma with my bizarre reaction, at least I was able to breathe again in the dark hallway near the bathroom. I leaned against the wall, counting to ten, then twenty, and then thirty. By the time I got to one hundred and ten, I had to admit that the counting wasn’t working.
“Hey there, stalker,” a familiar voice called out. Cole had found me. He approached down the shadowy hallway, causing my heartbeat to race with a mixture of feelings I couldn’t even try to identify. “If I didn’t know better, I would have thought you weren’t happy to see me again.”
2
Kate
“Don’t flatter yourself Cole,” I told him, adopting the aloof, superior tone of voice I used to deter the drunk creeps who hit on me at the bar. This tone was something I’d picked up in high school, mostly by kids who used it on me. It was a lie, of course, inside I was quivering like I was eighteen again. Cole had that unique effect on me. One look at him and I was heartbroken all over again. Our last interaction during my freshman year of college had really done a number on my self-esteem. I wasn’t going to let him see how much it still stung.
“That hurts,” he replied, touching his chest and looking me over from head to toe appreciatively. I looked him over right back and rolled my eyes for good measure. What did he know about hurt?
“What do you want?” I asked, arching an eyebrow at him and wishing I could run away. I didn’t really care what he wanted, since I knew it wasn’t me. He’d made that perfectly clear.
“Am I not allowed to say hello to my best friend’s little sister?” His voice was dripping with feigned shock.
“Hello. And goodbye.” I said sarcastically. I even added a saucy little wave.
“Well I’m happy to see you,” he said, his expression softening. The moment stretched between us, heavy and full of unspoken things.
An invisible force pulled me forward across the dark hallway toward Cole. One step, then two. He met me in the middle. He was close enough to touch now, and he lifted a hand as if to touch my face.
I was about to say something I would regret when another one of my brother’s friends, Lucas, popped his head around the corner. All the air went out of the room.
“Look what the cat dragged in! Hey man, we weren’t sure you were gonna’ make it,” Lucas cried to Cole, giving me an out. I slunk past them and back into the party.
My heart was pounding out a heavy metal rhythm in my chest. This wasn’t how this night was supposed to go. This engagement party was supposed to be a nice night. I was going to dance, drink, be merry, and toast Emma and Ward. He wasn’t supposed to be here.
Rationally, I knew that I shouldn’t care what Cole Rylander thought of me anymore. It had been years since we’d seen each other or spoken. Life had pulled us in very different directions. He’d gone on to have a tremendously successful NFL career. I worked for my brother in a bar. But I still felt helpless and speechless when he was around. It wasn’t fair.
The one saving grace of managing this place was that no one could stop me from rounding the bar and pouring myself a double. I went straight for the good stuff and poured like it weighed more than it cost.
“Are you ok?” Emma asked me when she found me a few minutes later. “I’m sorry I didn’t warn you.”
I shrugged, smiled and faked an unconcerned expression.
“Are you ok?” she repeated, looking at my now-empty double glass.
I grinned at her. “I’m completely fine.” My voice, honed by years of merciless teasing and playing it off like nothing, sounded convincing—to me, at least.
Emma looked unconvinced. After years of friendship, she knew me too well.
“He’s moving here, you know,” she said after a second, perching her tiny body next to mine on a bar stool. My wide eyes told her that I hadn’t known that fact. “Did you know he was retired?” she asked.
I nodded. “Concussions.”
Despite his phenomenal success, Cole had decided not to risk additional head injuries in the NFL. I couldn’t say that I blamed him. Four concussions in two years wasn’t safe at all. That was something I was grateful for with my brother; Ward hadn’t been permanently disabled during his career playing pro, despite his best efforts to wreck his entire body.
“When is he moving here?” I asked, hoping my voice didn’t betray anything that was going on beneath.
Emma shrugged. “I think this week. You’d need to ask Ward.”
That would happen ten minutes after never. If there was one thing I could say with confidence, it was that Ward had no idea how bad I used to have it for his friend. He was oblivious even at the best of times. I could have probably hired a skywriter to announce my crush on Cole and Ward still wouldn’t have noticed. Ward was a great guy in many ways but being emotionally sensitive and perceptive wasn’t one of them.
“Did my brother tell you anything about why he’s moving here?” I asked, looking down at my hands as if suddenly very interested in my acid green manicure.
When she responded, Emma’s voice was dry. “I honestly have no idea.”
Emma had lived with me the year after my great rejection freshman year. She probably knew perfectly well that I was brimming with questions, but she couldn’t help. She hugged me before returning to the party, whispering “just go talk to him” in my ear before traipsing off.
She made it sound so damn easy. Just go talk to him. There was no one else at this party, including all the people I didn’t know, that I would have a problem going up and talking to. I could strike up a conversation with a brick wall, but not Cole. Even now, I could feel his eyes on me from across the room. Every time I glanced in his direction, he was staring right at me.
“Hi Kate, would you like to dance?” The question came from my left. I swung around to see a friend of Ward’s had sidled up next to me.
The guy was about my age. He was of average height, with an average build, and average looks. He was wearing a Hawaiian shirt and khakis, which were dreadful, but totally in line with his inoffensive looks. I grasped for the guy’s name while I considered his offer. Vincent? Victor? Something like that. I’d had a few casual conversations with the guy in the bar. He didn’t exactly make my heart flutter, but he was ok.
Would I like to dance with Victor-Vincent? Not really. But it was a better idea than just sitting around and sulking for the rest of the engagement party. Maybe he’d get my mind off Cole.
“Sure! I’d love to.” I said brightly, putting on my happy face and pretending like I’d been waiting for him all evening. His answering smile was enough to make his overbite more obvious, and I felt a bit guilty for leading him on.
But when I looked over my shoulder and saw that Cole’s expression had gone blanker-than-blank, all thoughts of guilt disappeared.
Just because you don’t want me doesn’t mean that no one else will, I thought at Cole as I moved against my dance partner with more eagerness than I really felt. After two songs, we took a break. The guy, whose name was Vince, went to go grab us some water. As soon as he was out of earshot, Cole was at my elbow.
“You can’t be serious about that guy,” he said by way of a greeting. I looked up at him and frowned.
“I’m sorry?” I asked.
“I know what you’re doing,” he replied.
“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“Leading that poor guy on for my benefit is just cruel.” He shook his head in poor Vince’s general direction.
“Well, you would know.” Before I could censor myself, the words were out of my mouth and delivered with a lot more anger than I intended. I felt a hot blush cover my cheeks. Cole’s eyebrows climbed high up his forehead and his lips parted, but I turned on my heel before he could reply. I disappeared back into the crowd and away from Cole.
I man
aged to avoid him for almost a full hour afterwards. I’d almost put in as much face time as I thought was necessary to be polite when Ward waved me over to where he and Cole were sitting in a corner. My oblivious brother didn’t notice how uncomfortable I must have looked coming over to them, but Cole certainly did. His wide, amber eyes seemed like they were full of secrets.
“What’s up?” I asked my brother, pulling up a stool and affecting some semblance of a casual tone.
“I’ve just popped the question to Cole here,” Ward said. His voice was proud, and the double entendre flew right over his head.
“I’ve always thought you two made a lovely couple,” I replied. My sarcasm level was one hundred.
Ward was smiling his most mischievous smile. “Funny, I was about to say the same thing. Y’all will be walking down the aisle together and all.”
My face went blank before I realized what Ward was trying to tell me.
“Cole’s gonna be your best man?” I managed.
What did you think he was talking about, Kate? I cringed internally.
“Ok. Why are you telling me this?” I asked Ward, trying to ignore Cole. He was still staring at me. I didn’t know what that look meant, but it made me feel like I was sitting there stark naked.
“Because you two will have to work together,” Ward replied. “Emma wants a really small wedding party. It’s just you two doing all the usual stuff.”
Usual stuff? My brother was really in for a rude awakening when the real wedding planning got started. He was going to have to pay attention to things like flower selections and china patterns. I couldn’t wait to see Ward getting all domestic.
The fact that Cole and I were the entire wedding party was a surprise, but it shouldn’t have been. Emma was very much a small, intimate wedding type of girl. I was actually a bit surprised—but delighted—that I was going to be her Maid of Honor.
Kiss Me Like You Missed Me Page 2