“Sure. And in approximately forty years I’ll have enough.” My voice was bitter. More bitter than I expected, actually. I’d never really been concerned about money much until recently. My bank account was healthy enough to support me, which used to feel like it was all I ever wanted, but it wasn’t enough to finance my goal. I was safe—which given my background, I knew was still an achievement—but I wasn’t exactly rolling in the dough.
I knew that if I asked Ward for money, he would probably give it to me. Or find a way to give it to me. But I couldn’t—didn’t dare—ask for him to do that. There were no guarantees in business, and certainly not in retail. I would not be able to forgive myself it I crashed and burned on someone else’s dollar. Better that I wreck my own finances.
“You could sell your condo,” she replied confidently. “You should have a lot of equity in it by now. You’ve done a lot of improvements over the years.”
She was right, of course. That had been my entire plan all along. I bought the condo with the intention that I would fix it up and flip it, and then use the money to start my boutique. Based on my current calculations, I would have nearly enough if I sold it for top dollar. Austin’s real estate market had gone completely nuts in recent years. My condo would probably sell in just a couple of days. But then I would have nowhere to live.
“I love my condo,” I admitted. “And it’s scary to spend all that money.”
Emma nodded understandingly. “I’d be extremely scared too,” she told me, “but being scared isn’t the same as being aimless. No one has it all figured out. Least of all me.”
My sigh was embarrassed. “I know. I’m sorry. It’s just hard. Being around Cole and seeing his dealership thing come together. Lucas is too smart to ever fail at anything. Ward has his bar. You have your PhD and your teaching. I feel like everyone else gets to have their dreams come true but me.”
“Does that mean your date with Cole didn’t go well?” Emma asked gently. Her voice made me suspect that this is what she’d wanted to talk about the entire time we’d been discussing other topics. This is what she thought I was really upset about. And she was right.
I shook my head. “I don’t think I want to talk about it.” In reality, I did want to talk about it. I wanted to talk about it so badly that it was driving me crazy, but I couldn’t. I was just too much of a coward. “I don’t think it’s gonna’ work out.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah,” I lied, “I’m sure. I just need some time to process things.”
Emma wasn’t used to me keeping things from her. Usually we shared all the gory details of our dates (although the fact that she was about to be married to my brother meant that she thankfully didn’t share everything anymore). I could tell she wanted to ask questions, and I knew if she did, I wouldn’t be able to lie to her. But after a moment she nodded, and I saw the moment where she decided to be respectful of my request. I almost wished that she hadn’t been. It was becoming harder and harder for me to avoid screaming from the rooftops that Cole Rylander wanted me. But even though I was over the moon that he wanted me, I wasn’t sure that I could trust that it would last. After all, I’d been burned before.
Better for me to put the brakes on this flirty non-relationship while I still could. If I didn’t, my heart was going to get crushed to smithereens. Cole and I were just not to be.
“Ok, well if you change your mind, I’m here,” Emma said eventually. We stared at one another for a long second before she rose and left. Once she was gone, I put my head down on the desk and closed my eyes. I felt like I was in freefall.
How had everything in my life spun so suddenly out of control? I needed to protect myself before it was too late.
22
Cole
I stepped outside to take a call from my lawyer about the deal and the moment I hung up I was instantly cornered by none other than Eddie Nasser of the Texas Advocate. He must have been stalking me and waiting outside. What a little creep.
“Mr. Rylander!” he exclaimed, “do you have a moment to give a statement to the Advocate on your recent business acquisition?”
“No, I really don’t,” I replied, staring coldly at him with my best impression of Ward.
It didn’t seem to have any effect. “Are you sure? I’m sure our readers would love to hear about your purchase of several car dealerships in the area.”
I’d already said more than I felt comfortable saying. I handed him my lawyer’s card and went to step back inside. I was relatively confident that he’d stay outside the Lone Star Lounge. Ward had put the fear of god into him the last time I’d seen him.
“What about your relationship with Kate Williams?” Eddie said to my retreating back.
“Excuse me?” I paused, frozen. I spun around to find him showing me a photo of the two of us kissing in the Driskill bar. In the photo, her eyes were closed in bliss as I kissed her neck. My hands were tangled in her hair. The angle of the photo showed the curves of her body much too well, and she looked like a woman who knew her night was going to end in sex. It hadn’t—thanks to me and my big mouth—but the photo was much more candid and passionate than anything that belonged in Eddie’s collection.
In an instant, my heart was in my throat. The very last way that I wanted Ward to learn about our relationship was by reading about it the fucking newspaper. My fingers twitched into fists at my side. Violence wasn’t really my thing, but I was reconsidering. I advanced on Eddie two steps, but he held his ground.
“Perhaps you’d like to make a statement now?” he crowed. His smug smile was about to get knocked clean off his face. I wanted to hurt him. Taking pictures of me when I was out in public was fair game. But taking pictures like that of Kate? No fucking way. Eddie’s smile wavered when he looked at the change in my expression. He took one uneasy step back.
“Eddie?” An unfamiliar voice called, surprising us. Both of us turned to see Willie approaching from the parking lot with a well-preserved blonde in her sixties. She was wearing a motorcycle vest and four-inch heels. She had pink streaks in her hair. Oh shit, I thought to myself excitedly, that’s got to be Nancy. I didn’t even have to hit him! Eddie’s fucked.
And Eddie knew it too. He didn’t seem capable of forming a greeting. His mouth worked up and down comically like a dog eating peanut butter. No sound was coming out but a thin, frightened whine. It was really an entertaining thing to watch. He’d turned that unhealthy puce shade again, too. Nancy’s carefully penciled in eyebrows rose up her forehead as she approached. She looked very unimpressed. “Did I not make myself clear about staying away from the Lounge?” Her voice was dry, and her southern drawl was even thicker than mine.
“I, um, well,” Eddie stuttered. Nancy snatched the phone he was still brandishing at me out of his grasp and sighed when she saw the photos.
“Well that’s just not very sporting,” she said to Eddie after thumbing through the shots. “You know better than this.” Her tone was scolding.
Willie looked over her shoulder and then at me with wide eyes. “Kate?” he mouthed soundlessly. I shrugged. He shook his head at me like Eddie had a photo of me kissing bigfoot. He was that shocked.
“Would y’all excuse us for a moment?” Nancy asked Willie and me. We stepped a few yards away and watched what could only be the tongue lashing of a lifetime take place in hushed tones.
“Kate huh?” Willie asked me in a near whisper. I nodded my head, watching Eddie’s face grow more forlorn as Nancy laid into him. “Interesting choice.”
I arched an eyebrow at him. “Why is that?”
He didn’t immediately answer. We both watched Eddie scurry off to the parking lot away from a still-irate Nancy. Her face changed from angry to pleasant as she approached us like the sun breaking through after a rainstorm.
“Hey there, you must be Cole,” Nancy said amiably, shaking my hand with both of hers. Her nails were long and pink, and they matched her hair. “It’s so good to meet you. I followed your football career with grea
t interest. And I just fired Eddie, in case you’re wonderin’.”
“It’s nice to meet you as well. Thank you, ma’am. And thank you for sending Eddie on his way.” Her timing had been extremely lucky, both for me and for Eddie’s face. It was almost instant karma for him. I’m not sure what I did to deserve such good fortune, but I wasn’t about to question it.
She smirked and winked at me. “No problem. A man shouldn’t have to look over his shoulder when he’s just trying to have a drink.”
I liked Nancy. Even if she hadn’t run Eddie off, she reminded me a bit of a more grown up Kate. She was clearly a bit wild. I would bet money that the vintage Indian motorcycle that I saw parked next to Willie’s Harley belonged to her.
“Well I appreciate it,” I repeated.
“You go on inside, honey bear,” Willie said to Nancy after we exchanged a few more obligatory get-to-know-you pleasantries. “I need to have a word here with Cole.”
“Sure thing, honey bear.”
Honey bear? Jesus Christ.
At least Willie had the good sense to look embarrassed about the nickname. They kissed and then Nancy headed inside to leave Willie and I alone. I was about to tease him until I saw his expression. He regarded me seriously over the top of his half-moon glasses. “Kate’s got a lot of friends around here,” he said slowly, “and I’m not just talking about Ward. Nobody wants to see her get hurt.”
“Are you threatening me now too, old man?” I wasn’t really in the mood for Willie’s teasing. I’d just had to put up with attempted blackmail from Eddie.
With his typical mildness Willie just shook his head and smirked. “I don’t need to threaten you.” He paused again, presumably to let his threat sink in. “I just thought you might appreciate a warning. If any harm comes to that woman, every single patron in that bar is going after you with torches and pitchforks. And Ward will be leading them.”
I sighed. “I don’t need your warnings honey bear. Hurting Kate is the last thing I want to do.”
“Word is that you’ve done it before.”
Where the hell did he hear that? I grimaced. I shouldn’t even be surprised. I should have known. Willie might be old, but he wasn’t deaf (yet). He knew practically everything about everybody, just from listening. It was no surprise he’d learned the story from Lucas or Emma at some point. Hell, maybe Kate told him herself.
Kate. The woman who had singlehandedly turned my life upside down and inside out. Like a bomb had gone off in my brain, I’d reached some sort of breaking point with Willie in the parking lot. I was done keeping secrets, and with Willie, Nancy, and Eddie now knowing, there wasn’t much chance of us staying on the down low much longer. But even if that wasn’t true, I couldn’t wait another second. All my good intentions about going slow were about to go out the window.
I needed to see her. I needed to touch her. I needed to claim her and make it one hundred percent clear to both of us that Kate was mine. It was time to cut bait or fish, as my Uncle Jimmy would say. I never actually figured out what that one meant, but it sure sounded good.
23
Cole
Back inside the Lone Star Lounge, I tried to make a beeline for Kate, but like so many of my plans with Kate, fate blocked my path. Actually, this time it was Lucas, and he was literally in my way. He dove into my field of vision before I’d made it three steps inside.
“She’s here,” he whispered urgently, reaching out to grab my shoulders and shake me. “Ward didn’t tell me she’d be here.” There were equal measures of panic and pain in his hazel eyes, but I had no idea why.
“Dude, what are you talking about?” I winced out of his grasp. I’d picked up calling people ‘Dude’ from California-born Lucas. It seemed only fair to use it on him. I didn’t want anything but to get to Kate, although leaving my friend when he was so upset would be unthinkable. I attempted to focus. Lucas didn’t do the touchy-feely emotional stuff, so the fact that he was reaching out to me like this was disturbing.
“Victoria is here! Right now!” he jerked his head in the direction of the stage to our right where a band was beginning to set up. It was a Friday night, which meant live music. Sure enough, Lucas’ ex-girlfriend was there, tuning up her guitar with her bandmates. She shook back her long mane of curly hair and laughed with her bassist, utterly ignoring (or perhaps just not noticing) Lucas.
Shit.
Victoria Miller had returned to Austin like a razor-edged boomerang. The red-haired she-devil dumped Lucas because he wasn’t cool enough when her band got a record deal. She claimed that he didn’t understand or appreciate her artistic temperament, which was really just her way of saying that she cheated on him. Constantly. Unapologetically. I couldn’t stand her.
But by the look on Lucas’ face, he still wanted her back. Bad. Really bad. He stared at her like someone lost in the desert stares at a mirage of an oasis. It was painful to see. I ground my teeth in second-hand frustration. His attachment to this woman was as unhealthy as it was irrational.
“Why are you still so hung up on her, man? It’s been months.” Years, actually. I knew it wasn’t the most sensitive thing to say to Lucas, but it was true. If their break-up was a child, it would be almost two years old by now. Their break up would be walking and talking and thinking about potty training. He should be over her.
Lucas didn’t seem to have a good answer for me. He shook his sandy hair. “It’s not a thing I have any control over,” he finally said, looking guilty. “I don’t want to feel like this. I just…” he trailed off and I thought he wasn’t going to finish his sentence, but then managed, “I still love her.” It sounded like a confession of something shameful. I bit back a snide comment. He was dead serious.
Lucas stared up at the stage longingly. Seeing him staring at Victoria that way made me hope she’d literally break a leg up there. I’d met her a handful of times during their three-year relationship and she’d become progressively more stuck up and unlikeable as time went on. Victoria clearly thought she was born to be a star, and her talent was very real. She was pretty ok looking too; I’d give her that. Not nearly as hot as Kate, but still objectively not hideous. But no amount of beauty or talent gave her the right to hurt my friend.
And no amount of intelligence on Lucas’ part could prevent her from not just breaking his heart, but then burning the pieces and launching the ashes into a black hole. He was one of the smartest people I’d ever met, perhaps the smartest person I’d ever met, and he was still just as fucked over by love as anyone else. There’s no accounting for taste, I suppose.
“Go home, Lucas,” I told him, shaking my head and wondering what he thought he was going to do. There was no winning her back. Victoria had made her true character and desires abundantly clear more than a year and a half ago. She’d moved out of their shared apartment in the middle of the day when Lucas was working, letting him come home to bare walls, no couch, and a goodbye text message letting him know she was going on tour. At least he got to keep their two cats, Moxie and Bob.
“I guess the tour is over,” he was saying, clearly not listening to me. The gears had started turning in his head, it was obvious. He was looking for some way, anyway, to get Victoria back. His scheming knew no bounds. But even for someone as clever and resourceful as Lucas, it was going to be a tall order. Victoria was semi-famous now, and I couldn’t imagine that being worshipped by fans had made her humbler and more personable. Her narcissism would have only been fed by it.
“Don’t talk to her. Don’t look at her. There’s no way interacting with her tonight is going to end up making you happy. Go home,” I told him, reaching out to poke his shoulder when he didn’t react. He jumped in surprise.
“Huh?” His hazel eyes were confused.
“You aren’t even listening to me, are you?”
“I don’t feel very well.” If I didn’t know Lucas well enough to know that he wasn’t drunk, I would have thought he trashed. His already pale skin was ghostly white. This woman was a
n actual plague.
“Well, you look awful. Go home.”
“Do you think she missed me while she was on tour?” His voice was hopeful.
No. She was too busy banging groupies and anyone else who would give her the attention she wanted. I didn’t say it. I didn’t need to. I’m sure my face said it for me. “Lucas, please go home,” I pleaded.
I caught sight of Ward near and waved him over. I needed back up. Ward looked almost as panicked as Lucas. He practically sprinted over, which was something, since his knee had been acting up again and it probably hurt.
“Shit, Lucas,” he said apologetically when he got close, “I didn’t know we had a last-minute change with the band. I would have warned you. I’m so sorry.” His eyes were wide with concern.
“I didn’t even know she was back in town,” Lucas replied to Ward. He still sounded totally mystified that she was back within striking distance. “I wonder how long she’s been here?”
“Too damn long,” Ward mumbled. I nodded in agreement. Hopefully there was another tour planned soon.
“I think I’m gonna’ go home now,” Lucas replied, proving that he hadn’t been listening to either of us. He dreamily made his way around us both, casting a final, wistful look at Victoria before making it to the door. I guess he couldn’t bear to hear her sing.
“Was he like this after they broke up?” I asked Ward, feeling suddenly guilty that I’d left Ward to deal with Lucas alone. Unexpectedly, Ward shook his head.
“No, not like this. He was just really quiet,” he answered. “You know how Lucas is. There’s a lot going on under the surface. I mean, I knew it was bad, but I think the shock of seeing her now brought everything back…” Ward trailed off. We exchanged a worried look on Lucas’ behalf. If sarcastic Lucas was being sincere and vulnerable, you knew it was bad.
“I really just don’t get it about her,” I told Ward, as we both watched the band begin to play their opening number. Victoria’s alto voice rose above the noise of the crowd and the instruments, melodic, strong, and powerful. Her beautiful singing voice wasn’t enough to fool me. Inside she was rotten. Lucas deserved so much better than Victoria.
Kiss Me Like You Missed Me Page 12