“I won’t sit here and let you disrespect yourself,” he said. He held out his hand. “There’s nothing wrong with you.”
She sat on the edge of the bed and scooted closer until their legs were touching. “So, talk.”
“As part of the oath process, the applicant gives the Lady complete access to his mind. No mental blocks, no shielded areas. She can enter at any time. A Brother belongs to her, body and soul.”
Twilka shivered, a wave of nausea passing through her gut. “Sounds awful.”
“There are rewards.” His smile was a bit crooked. “She doesn’t normally exercise her rights or deploy the power against those who serve her. She has the entire hierarchy of the Brotherhood to enforce her will. When tazlin occurs, yes, we would also join mind to mind, but as you experienced, it’s an intensely sensual experience, mutually…”
“Yeah, I get it.” Twilka held up her hand. She had no intention of discussing her encounter involving the Red Lady any further.
Khevan returned to his narrative. “When I walked into the temple that night five years ago, drawn by the drums, she had eight brothers waiting for me. I fought, of course, but her men overpowered me through sheer force of numbers and brought me to her innermost sanctum, deep below the main temple. She demanded my oath again, as I’d willingly given it the first time, so many years ago. I refused. She roared into my mind like a hurricane of fire, scouring every corner, draining every memory and giving them back as pale shadows of what I’d lived, burning all my nerve endings. Mental and physical agony. Much worse than during the original oath ceremony, when she was a gracious goddess accepting an awestruck boy’s pledge. This time she was angry at a man she felt had betrayed her.”
Twilka slid her hand over his much larger one and squeezed gently. “Did it hurt?”
“Like being burned alive, from the inside out. I tried to fight her. I had one small blocked off area where I’d kept my memories of three things precious to me, to Khevan the man, not the D’nvannae Brother.” He gave her a rueful smile. “My mother’s people have a small gift of power, nothing to boast of, not like the Mellurean race commands, but we can accomplish a few things. Construct mind blocks on specific information or memories. The goddess didn’t know what I’d hidden, but once she became aware of the secret, she wanted whatever it was as tribute, as payment for my rebellion.”
He fell silent and Twilka didn’t press for details. He’d tell her or he wouldn’t. Her eyes filled with tears because they’d never talked at this level before. The way they’d met had been so intense, their connection so rushed, so charged with mutual sexual attraction, they’d never really gotten to know each other.
He touched her cheek with his knuckles, gently caressing. “What are you thinking? You drifted far away from me.”
She swiped at her eyes. “Wishing we’d met in a more normal way than on a dying spaceship. I wish we’d had time to be friends first, before the disaster kicked in.” She laid her head on his shoulder, taking his hand in hers. “We never had much of a chance, did we?”
He shifted against the pillows to put his arm around her. “Even if the Nebula Dream had completed her voyage intact, even if we’d slept together every night for the rest of the cruise, we probably wouldn’t have connected heart to heart. We’d have gone our separate ways. It took the crucible of the night’s events to break the walls.”
“Harsh but true, I guess.” She would have boasted to her ‘Lite friends of the unusual conquest and moved on with them to the next party or event. And he would have taken on his subsequent contract and stayed a loyal soldier to his Lady. “We’re a fluke, is what you’re saying.”
He tilted her chin and kissed her on the lips, gently at first, then seeking entry, his tongue probing at the seam. On a sigh, hesitating for only a heartbeat, she opened to him and lost herself in the moment, the sensations overwhelming. Khevan tasted so good, the warmth of him was so enticing, she couldn’t resist. When the caress ended, she snuggled closer to him, being careful to avoid the bandaged wound.
“What memories did you keep from her in this mental lockbox?” she asked.
“My last happy memory of my mother before she died and my memory of the moment I chose which Lady to serve. As long as I had those pictures clearly in my mind, the chance of appealing to the Lady in White at some point remained. Or so I hoped. My mother had wanted me to go into the other Lady’s service. She raised me on the stories of the glorious exploits of the Monks of Light, but after her death, my stepfather sold me to the Red Lady in exchange for enough credits to get his next fix of feelgoods.”
“The Red Lady buys children?” Horror made it hard for Twilka to utter her question.
He nodded. “Only the ones with potential to be successful in either the Brotherhood or the Sisterhood. It’s a better life than many would experience, left in the slums or on the streets. On many worlds having a child accepted into her temple service is a high aspiration, to be sought.”
“Why don’t the authorities put a stop to it? There can’t be a treaty that allows her to recruit kids.”
“You float in a rarefied atmosphere,” he said, as if he was accusing her of something. “Your father’s generational billions of credits give him gravity, provide your secure position in the higher orbits of the Sectors, enable you to take everything you have for granted. Most have to deal with the situation they’re born into, on whatever planet that may be. The Sectors’ authorities try hard, but they’re stretched thin across the stars, and the war with the Mawreg takes much of their attention. The Red Lady is their valuable ally.” He shrugged. “Local planetary authorities prioritize what matters to them. The tradition is centuries old, deeply ingrained when it comes to the D’nvannae. And some do come to her as adults.”
At a loss for words, Twilka shook her head. “I must seem naïve to you. I just never thought about any of this before.”
“Why should you? What would have ever brought the issue to your attention? But you asked about my memories and I was explaining. I was only a boy and so angry—at my mother for dying and abandoning me, at my stepfather for killing her and selling me; take your pick—I could only see hatred. The flames suited me then. I wanted to learn everything the Brotherhood trainers could teach me.” He flicked a glance at her. “I was going to kill my stepfather someday.”
“You’re not just an assassin,” she said, refusing to allow him to label himself in such a way. His selfless actions on the Nebula Dream after the wreck hadn’t come from the soul of a killer.
“No, although I am exceedingly good at it.” He studied her face, as if to gauge her reaction to his statement. “I’ve committed many murders in her service, Twilka. Far more assassinations than good deeds or bodyguard assignments.” He touched the tattoo on his cheek. “The higher levels of the Brotherhood kill; we rarely protect. She prefers the energy of conferring death. I earned every detail of this brand on my face, most with a sentient’s life being the price.”
“Did you kill your stepfather?”
Khevan’s laugh was abrupt. “Ironically, he died of an overdose long before I could move against him.”
Pondering that, Twilka slid her hand under the edge of his shirt and rubbed his back, noting how tense his muscles were, enjoying the feel of him under her palm. Returning to the earlier subject, she asked, “Why did you fight to keep those memories from the Red Lady?”
“I sensed right from the beginning, even as a young boy, I needed to keep a piece of myself private, use the mental pictures as a touchstone. Later, as I became a man, attracted her interest and personal attention, and understood far more about the weight of being a D’nvannae, I needed to remain myself in the deepest recesses of my soul. Not to be completely lost in her fires, as so many in her inner circle have been. Those men are the true D’nvannae of legend—implacable, infallible.”
Counting on her fingers, Twilka said, “Your mother, the White Lady—you said three memories, so what else?”
“You. The
first moment I saw you on the shuttle, going to the Nebula Dream. You were so carefree, so happy. My attraction to you was unsettling—immediate and fierce. Not like anything I’d ever felt before.”
Playfully, she drifted her hand over his crotch, where an impressive erection was straining the leather pants. “So you wanted to take me to bed before you even knew me?”
Khevan captured her hand and kissed her palm. “No. And yes. I’d come from a particularly nasty job on Glideon, and you were the complete opposite of the life I was living. Beautiful, happy, and fresh…”
She had to swallow hard before she could speak. “I was a mess, a ‘Lite mess. Flying on feelgoods. And you sure didn’t show any signs of attraction. I even tried flirting with Nick at one point, later in the trip but before the wreck, at the casino, to make you jealous, with no result.”
“I knew I had to keep my distance from you; the temptation was too strong.” He gave her a rueful grin. “Forbidden fire of a completely different sort. Then Fate threw us together on the dying ship.”
There was silence for a few moments. Then Twilka asked, “What happened on Temple Home? With the Lady after she took you prisoner?”
“She tortured me. I calculated later the punishment went on for over a year. I lost all sense of my body, of time. My mind floated untethered in an ocean of flames, surrounded by her, battered by her will, her unceasing demands. I-I can’t remember clearly now, but eventually I broke and gave her my oath of servitude again. Anything to stop the pain—she got what she wanted.”
Disturbed by the raw emotion she heard in his voice, Twilka raised his hand to her lips and kissed the knuckles gently before rubbing his hand on her cheek. “She’s an alien being, ancient and powerful. She exerted a small portion of her power on me and I nearly died. I don’t know how you fought her for a year. I can’t imagine what you endured.”
He gathered her close, arms like steel bands holding her tight. Twilka could hear his heartbeat under her ear, strong and steady. His enticing scent filled her senses, reminding her of their few but intense times of complete intimacy.
Resting his head on top of hers, his voice low, Khevan continued the story. “After breaking me and stealing my memories, when I’d renewed my oath to her, she returned my mind to my body, gave back the majority of my memories so I’d be myself, but created blank spaces where the special ones I surrendered had been. I think it was like a game to her, insignificant, so she didn’t care if I had perfect recall of the complete set of events of the Nebula Dream, for example. She only wanted the memories I’d withheld from her, you know?”
Twilka nodded, both frightened by the Red Lady’s casual exercise of her power and angry on his behalf. “And then?”
“She kept me imprisoned in the temple for another year, serving her slightest whim like a slave, while I was required to rebuild my combat skills under the close supervision of three D’nvannae Brothers who outranked me at the time. Those men were the only people who knew the truth of what she did to me, how she got me back in line.” He paused. “All of them are dead now.”
Trying to understand the significance of the information, she asked, “Did you kill them?”
“No. I think she did, because she didn’t wish it to be known how close I’d come to escaping her, and what it took to enslave me again. Pride, you know?”
She nodded. The Lady struck her as an extremely conceited being. The deaths of a few devoted adherents to keep her secrets wouldn’t matter.
“Eventually, she gave me a simple kill contract to carry out, then another and so forth, increasing the complexity of the assignments, analyzing my behavior until she was sure I’d regained my previous level of dedication and would honor my oath if sent out alone and unleashed. We had tazlin again, which was her final test of me, and I satisfied her.” Brow furrowed, he leaned his head against the wall. “In some ways, that was the worst moment of all.”
“And your special memories?”
“I relinquished them to her under the torture, one by one. I can’t remember my mother’s face, her voice, her perfume…I do remember her telling me stories when I was little, but there’s no warmth to the memory, no love. I have no link to the Lady in White, no connection at all any longer. I fought the Red Lady hard on those two, so she’d be deceived about the existence of a third, the most precious of all to me.” Using his enormous strength, he shifted Twilka onto his lap, straddling him and facing him. Holding her there with gentle pressure, he touched his forehead to hers as he whispered, “You.”
Twilka slid her hands under his shirt, rubbing the bare skin of his back again, and kissed him, long and deep, while rocking her sensitive thinly clad crotch over the hard outline of his arousal. She nibbled at his earlobe and pressed a kiss to the sensitive skin below it. “Once she allowed you to move about freely, why didn’t you at least send me a message?”
“I was tempted. Daily. Such an act would have been a violation of my oath,” he said. “But from what I observed on the vids, you appeared happy, and I thought it better not to disturb you. Better for me and for you to assume our story was done.”
Running her fingers through his thick hair, undoing the tight braid and setting the silky strands loose the way she preferred, Twilka did the math in her head. At the time Khevan was re-entering the world, she’d been in the midst of a public, fiery love affair with a trideo star, both of them using each other for publicity, as much as for the incredibly hot sex. Her fledgling company was benefitting from all the attention and he’d been up for a huge role. As soon as he was cast and filming began, the relationship ended, and he moved on to sleeping with his co-star.
Before she could say anything, Khevan went on.
“I feared the very thing we’re in the midst of now, if I allowed the Red Lady to have the slightest inkling I still cared for you. But when I found us traveling together on the Nebula Zephyr, I calculated it might be safe for us to at least talk. Although, the moment I saw you, I wanted to do more, much more.” Holding her gaze with his own, he slid his hand down her body, sensuously tracing her curves, until he was cupping her mound through her thin leggings. Twilka parted her legs to allow him access and shifted her hips to increase the pressure against his hand. “But now I’m sure the whole thing was a setup on her part, an additional aspect of the test she was going to put me through.”
Twilka tilted her head back, the better to see his face. “You’re failing, my friend.”
He kissed her throat. “I congratulated myself I was doing rather well.” As he took her lips again, he slid one hand under the edge of her top and cupped her breast, massaging the nipple into a hard bud. She felt his rock hard erection pulse and strain more urgently against the leather pants.
“Depends who’s judging.” Raising her head from the kiss, she played with his earlobe, biting it gently before whispering, “What about your wound?”
A gleam came into his eyes and his lips quirked in a teasing smile. “I have a high pain threshold and the slash is mending rapidly. If we’re careful…”
“All right then.” She kissed him, thrusting her tongue into the warmth of his mouth, while busy working on the fastening of his pants. His cock sprang free and she locked her hand around the girth, massaging from root to tip. “I think we need fewer clothes.”
He tugged at the hem of her shirt and, obligingly, she raised her arms so he could slide the garment over her head and toss it to the floor. Khevan stared hungrily at her for a moment, so she arched her back and, as if he couldn’t stop himself, he cupped both breasts, teasing her nipples lightly with his thumb. He rolled her over on her back and moved on top of her, grimacing slightly as he adjusted his weight and the bandage over his injury pulled taut.
“I missed you,” he said softly, brushing a strand of her tousled hair off her face.
Twilka wriggled a bit, to allow his heavy cock to fall between her legs, nudging at the fabric blocking the entrance to her body. “Still too many damn clothes. Let me up for a moment s
o I can take off my leggings. And your pants.”
When she’d stripped them both naked, she sank back onto the bed and pulled him on top of her. With a sigh, she shifted her hips, allowing the tip of his erection to slide between her slick folds. “Hard and fast,” she said, hands cupping his butt. “That’s how badly I want you right now. We can do foreplay later—we have the entire night ahead of us.”
“Never are you a patient woman and especially not in bed.” He laughed, thrusting his powerful hips to drive further inside her. “You’ll get no argument from me. It’s been too long since I had you wrapped around me. There’s been no other woman for me since that night I left you on Temple Home.”
Twilka stilled as a frightening thought occurred to her. “But you’ve been with the goddess in tazlin. Will she be able to find us? To appear like she did before?”
Raising himself on his elbows, he said, “It’s always possible, but I don’t feel her presence. To project herself so far across the Sectors is a drain on her energy; that’s why she had to be lured with tazlin rituals when we were on the Nebula Dream. I’d never expose you to the risk of her intruding here. Nothing between us here and now is tainted with tazlin; I give you my word. It’s just us in this bed.”
“Together, the way we’re meant to be,” she said with a sigh of satisfaction, tilting her hips and wrapping her legs around him to drive him deeper into her aching core. “I’ve missed you.”
As he flexed his body, thrusting and nearly withdrawing, only to push further into places within that had been too empty for too long, she found the right rhythm, craving the release only he could give her. It was if no time had passed since the last time they made love. Her body was tight around him, his girth and length filling her to the satisfaction of every nerve ending. The delicious tremors of orgasm spread outward from her core and she clung tighter to him as he reached his climax a moment later, holding her as if for dear life itself.
Star Survivor (The Sectors SF Romance Series Book 6) Page 6