Forever Red

by Carina Adams

  I literally had to bite my tongue to keep myself from making a snide comment. Throwing the wet rag into the bucket, I transferred it to the counter. Unfortunately, he moved with me. “What do you want?” I demanded.

  “Apparently, something I’m going to have to work really hard for.”

  His words made me feel dirty. And to think, just yesterday, I’d noticed how attractive he still was. You could put lipstick on a pig, but it’s still just a pig. In this case, a nasty, disgusting pig. The saying made me think of Neil and smile.

  Assuming it was directed at him, Mr. Knightly offered me a smirk. “Maybe not.”

  Before I could tell him to go to hell, two hands grabbed my hips, startling me. Arms closed around my waist, pulling me back, and a chin came down on my shoulder hard enough to be painful. “Ready to go?” I glanced at Mike out of the corner of my eye and almost laughed when I saw his sneer. “Lia said you were back, Coach, but I didn’t think we’d see you in here again so soon.”

  It was something Neil would have done. In one swift move, he’d rescued me and made it clear that Mr. Knightly’s advances were not only unwelcome, but also pointless. I could have kissed him.

  “Carson,” Mr. Knightly said slowly as he surveyed us. “I didn’t realize the two of you were a couple now.”

  I opened my mouth to correct him, but Mike beat me to it. “I didn’t realize anything about Lia was your business.” His grip slackened and he stepped back, leaving one hand on my waist. “A lot can change in a year. Lee’s off the market now.” Tugging on me slightly, he met my eyes. “Shifts over. I’m exhausted. I just wanna go back to your place and crash. You ready?”

  I nodded, grabbing the bucket and taking it out into the kitchen before clocking out. Rita, one of the other waitresses, gave me a weird look as I passed, but I didn’t bother saying anything. I knew exactly how Mike’s actions had looked and how his words had sounded. People would talk; they always did in this God-forsaken town. But I didn’t care. Having people think I was sleeping with him was so much better than the alternative.

  Jumping into the Jeep, I smiled at my friend. “You are a fucking genius; you know that, right?”

  He shook his head, not smiling. “Kelly would hand me my ass if he knew I just did that. But that fucking perv was looking at you like you… like he…” He shook his head again. “Sick fuck. Hopefully, he’ll stay away now. If not, Kelly can deal with him.”

  The thought actually scared me. I didn’t want Craig anywhere near Neil. Or vice versa. Hopefully, he’d stay far away from now on.

  I needed a distraction, and Mike’s date was the perfect one. “So, tell me everything!”

  Chapter Eighteen

  ~ Nathaniel ~

  I was torn.

  Sitting on a picnic table that my grandpa had built, staring at the early morning sunlight as it danced along the top of the sparkling blue water of the pond, I thought about the man that had meant so much to me. I still couldn’t believe he’d been gone over a year. Being in Maine made me forget. Being back here made me remember.

  I felt him here, sometimes forgetting that he wasn’t just off in one of the fields or tinkering in the barn. If I listened closely, I could hear his laughter floating on the wind. When reality hit, so did the fresh wave of grief.

  This farm had been his sanctuary, the one place he was truly happy. I understood because it was mine as well. If I could, I’d never leave.

  I had to, though. As much as I loved this place, I loved someone else more. Someone that was a world away from me here. Someone that I would give all of this up for.

  Knowing I’d be with Red made the thought of leaving a little less bittersweet. Yet, the idea that this might be the last time I sat in this spot made my heart ache. If only I could be in two places at once, or bring the two most important things in my world together… I smiled at that. I could picture Lia here, working the farm with me. If only I could convince her to come. But she wanted to escape her life, and she wasn’t focused on the future.

  The steps crunching the gravel behind me interrupted my thoughts only seconds before their owner slipped onto the other end of the bench seat. I tensed, not awake enough to deal with any more of Ally’s bullshit. The streak of black I caught out of my peripheral made me relax a fraction.

  “Didn’t think you’d be up this early.” I smirked behind my mug as I lifted it to my lips. Usually, we didn’t see her before noon on Sundays.

  April scoffed, wrapping her hands around her own coffee cup. “Ally forgot to reset the alarm and it went off at the ass-crack of dawn.” She sighed. “Apparently, she doesn’t understand that weekends are for relaxing and catching up on much-needed beauty sleep.”

  “Well, there’s your problem. Beauty and Ally don’t really belong in the same sentence. Besides, she’d need a helluva lot more than sleep to fix the mess she’s got going on.”

  April chortled, “Lord, you are bad.”

  “She didn’t forget. She set the alarm so she could eavesdrop on my conversation with Lia.”

  April at least had the good sense to look scandalized. “What? Why in the world would she do that?”

  “Why does The Stray do anything she does?” I turned back to the water, wondering if it was too late in the morning for the catfish to bite. I’d only had a chance to drop a line a few times over the last few weeks and I longed to see if there was anything left in Gramps’ favorite pond.

  “Are you really going back there to live? For Lia?”

  I was tempted to ask where she’d heard that since it had only been decided yesterday, but there really wasn’t any point. I knew. April and my mom had always been close when we were dating and, unfortunately, kept that relationship even after we moved. They talked daily, even now.

  Naturally, when Nik had decided that she was going to stay at school over break, Mom asked April to fill in. That required her to move to the farm with Ally and me for the summer, to be a chaperone – not that one was needed – and to help around the house in any way she could. I’d been vehemently against the idea at first. An entire summer alone with my cheating whore of an ex and the manipulative hag that thought she could worm her way into my bed; what could possibly go wrong?

  April had actually been a welcome addition. She and Ally weren’t what I’d call great friends, but they got on pretty well. There was enough work to keep us busy so we weren’t tripping over each other and were able to stay out of each other’s way most of the time. We’d even been able to hold civil conversations over dinner at the end of the day. I would never admit it to my mom, but it was nice having her here.

  I nodded. “I am.”

  “Wow.” It was difficult to tell if it was awe or disbelief in her tone. “Does she know that you are going to be living with Ally?”

  “She does.” The surprise on her face irritated me. “She trusts me. I trust her. She knows that I would never cheat because she’d leave me if I did, and I would never do anything to risk losing her. A little fun on the side is never worth losing someone you’re supposed to care about. Is it? ”

  April turned her head away, almost ashamed, making me feel like an ass.

  “I’m sorry,” I mumbled.

  “No, I’m sorry.” She twisted her lips, watching me. “Sometimes, it feels like it was ages ago… sometimes, it feels like it was yesterday. I miss you and the fun we used to have. But I’m glad you have her, Nate. You deserve someone that will love you with all she has.” She looked down at her mug. “I hope one day you can forgive me.”

  Her words made me realize that I had forgiven her a long time ago. Hell, if she and I were still together, I wouldn’t have Lia. When I thought about it, I really owed her in some round about, fucked up way for helping me find the best thing that had ever happened to me. “I do forgive you, May.”

  April grinned when I used her old nickname, turning toward me. “Okay. If it’s not me, something else is going on in that mind of yours. Talk to me. I’ll help fix it.”

  I
shook my head. There weren’t enough hours in the day to explain what was going on in this head. Knowing she wouldn’t leave it alone, I settled on the easiest answer. “Ally is driving me up a fuckin’ wall.”

  “Hmmm.”

  “What?” I snapped; my irritation toward her was back.

  “If she’s annoying you now – here, in a place you can escape her – it’s going to be a whole lot worse when you’re at her house, in her space.”

  I stood, grabbing my mug, and strode to the barn. I didn’t want to think about it. I knew the next few months were bound to be hell. Damn, if that girl wasn’t worth it, though.

  *****

  There were twelve hundred and fifty-five miles between Jackson County and Lia’s house. Twelve hundred and fifty-five miles trapped in my old Ford with the devil reincarnate singing off key to the Top 40 stations and whining because the open windows messed up her hair. Or complaining because she had to take another bathroom break. Which, in reality, consisted of her spending twenty minutes fixing the hair that I intentionally ruined five minutes later.

  What should have taken a little over twenty hours, took twenty-seven. I had decided early on, not even fifteen minutes in, that I didn’t give a shit how tired I was by the time I got to Maine as long as it meant I didn’t have to spend a night with her in a hotel. A fact that infuriated her so much that she gave me the silent treatment for an hour before she fell asleep. Best part of my drive.

  It was just after eleven when we got to her house. The white colonial wasn’t far from the place I’d lived in last year, and even though I’d driven by it hundreds of times, I’d never been inside. It was not nearly as cold as I’d assumed it would be. There were decorations everywhere, covering every surface and each wall. I looked around the den, feeling surprisingly welcomed.

  “They won’t be back for another week or so,” Ally reminded me for the millionth time. We would have stayed in Alabama, because her parents weren’t back from their trip and I didn’t want to be alone with her, but I needed to be here for football. I’d already missed the first week of training. “Let me show you your room.”

  There were five bedrooms upstairs, and all but two had their own private bath, Ally explained as we walked up the stairs. She pointed to the first door on the right. “My parents’ room.” She nodded to the one directly across from it. “That’s mine. You’re down here.”

  I breathed a sigh of relief when she led me all the way to the end of the hall, past three more doors, before opening the one at the very end.

  “This is you.”

  The room was much bigger than what I was used to. A king-sized bed was the focal point, nestled in the middle of a wall with a window on each side. On the wall directly in front of me were three more windows, a desk beneath one, and a large easy chair shoved into the corner. To my left were two doors; I could see a bathroom sink through one and the other, I assumed, was a closet. I knew I’d be spending a shit ton of time locked in this room and was glad it had plenty of places for me to sit and write.

  Ally stood there, watching me as if waiting for me to say something.

  “It’s nice,” I offered lamely, but she didn’t move. “Ally, I’m exhausted. I need to crash.”

  “Can I get you anything?” she purred, a sound that gave me chills.

  “Some privacy would be nice.”

  Finally getting the hint, she nodded. “I’m right down the hall if you need me.”

  I shut and locked my door as soon as she stepped through, not leaving anything up for chance. My mom had ordered me to call her as soon as I was at Ally’s safe and sound, and I desperately wanted to hear Red’s voice, but I only had a few hours to rest. I barely made it to the bed before I collapsed.

  *****

  She didn’t know I was back. Not expecting to see me until at least Monday night, Lia was under the impression that Carson was going to pick her up when she got out of work. From where I was parked, I had the perfect view of her through the diner’s windows. It took every ounce of self-restraint I had not to strut into the restaurant and grab her.

  Every time a customer walked in, she’d glance at the door and her face would fall when she realized it wasn’t Mike. I watched as she chatted with her co-worker, peeping at her watch periodically. As if it was a last resort, she picked up the black wall phone, shaking her head the entire time.

  My cell buzzed a few seconds later.

  QB: Lia’s calln me. WYA

  I typed a quick reply: diner. waitn 4 10.

  QB: Kk

  Five minutes after ten, she grabbed her stuff and headed for the parking lot. At first, she just stopped, looking around wildly, noticeably pissed that Mike hadn’t shown yet. Then, she walked down a row of cars and back. When she got close to the truck, I stepped out.

  “Lia.”

  Her shoulders tensed, and her fists balled. “Look, my ride will be here any minute, so why don’t you—” She spun on her heel, obviously ready to tell me to go to hell. The words died on her lips and her mouth dropped open as she squinted, trying to make sure her eyes weren’t playing tricks. “Neil?”

  The next thing I knew, I was leaping across the space between us, grabbing her, and crushing my lips against hers. “I missed you. So goddamn much!” Lia only clung to me as if she thought I’d disappear again if she let go. Somehow, I managed to get us into my truck, buckled, and to her trailer, all without her lessening the hold she had on me.

  “My mom’s gone all weekend,” she whispered, breaking the long silence. “Can you stay?”

  I nodded, kissing her forehead. There wasn’t a fucking thing I wanted – or needed – more, but I could barely form a conscious thought, let alone speak a single syllable in order to convey that message. Instead, I grabbed her hand and pulled her out my side of the truck. We rushed to up the steps, Lia struggling to make the keys work before she shoved open the door.

  We were so lost in each other that we didn’t hear it at first. I reached for her, fumbling with the buttons on her shirt when the bra hanging over the ceiling fan caught my attention. I chuckled, thinking that it was Lia’s, and wondered why in the hell she’d thrown the little spec of silk up there. She looked over her shoulder, momentarily distracted, and I saw the confusion on her face. Reaching behind me, she snapped on the light.

  “What the…” Her words died as we got a look at the room. Clothes were strewn from the door to the hall as if they were some perverted bread trail. In our silence, the sounds from the other room were suddenly not only noticeable, but boisterous.

  “Oh, God!” A woman, Ms. Merrill I assumed, half-screamed, half-moaned. “Harder. Harder!”

  Lia’s hand flew to her mouth as her face flamed in embarrassment.

  “Do you like that, dirty girl?” The smack of skin on skin echoed around us. “Take it! Take it all!”

  I was frozen in place, not sure how much less Lia would think of me if I covered my ears and hummed loudly as I ran from the house. I glanced over to her, wondering if now was a good time to make my escape when I realized that she had gone a concerning shade of white. “Babe?”

  Her eyes were the size of saucers when she looked up. “That’s my… oh, my God!” She wrung her hands in front of her. “That’s my…”

  “Christ, you are so tight!” the male voice growled.

  I groaned. There are just some things you should never, ever know about your girlfriend’s mom, and that was one of them.

  “Loosen me up, baby! Harder!” came the feminine reply.

  And then there are just some things you should never hear your girlfriend’s mom say.

  I started moving toward the door, grabbing Lia’s wrist. I needed to get her out of here before we were both permanently traumatized. The sound of bed springs squeaking and uncomfortable moaning chased us out the door.

  We didn’t speak. I just drove with no destination in mind, blaring the music and trying to get the soundtrack of that awkward encounter out of my mind. When Lia started to sob, I pulle
d into a convenience store and slid across the seat to her, rubbing her back in comfort. It only made her shake harder.

  She leaned her head onto my shoulder, wiping away her tears. That’s when I realized that she wasn’t crying, she was laughing. Maniacally. It was too contagious to resist. If anyone had walked by my truck right then, they’d have thought we were high by the way we were cackling.

  When she finally calmed down enough to catch her breath, she shook her head. “As horrible as that was, I think every parent should do that to their kids. Teenage pregnancy would cease to be an issue because that little display is the best method of birth control. Ever.” She did a full body shake, obviously remembering something from earlier. “Ugh. It will haunt me forever. I may never have sex again.”

  I chuckled. “Yeah, I’m thinking about looking into that born-again Christian thing. Or becoming a monk. After hearing that”—I cringed, recalling the deep male voice—“I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to perform again.”

  Lia leaned her head back on my seat. “When she told me she was going away, I told her that I’d crash at Mike’s for the weekend. I didn’t realize that she’d do that. Oh, my God! You don’t think she does that every weekend, do you?”

  “No offense, but I don’t ever want to think about what, or whom, your mom is doing ever again. In fact, I’m just gonna pretend that someone broke into your house and that it was some random stranger we just heard.”

  “I’m going to have to bleach the entire house!” Lia looked horrified all over again. “I’m never – ever – going to be able to sit on the couch. So gross! Aren’t they too old to have sex, anyway?”

  “I thought your mom and that dude broke up,” I said absentmindedly.

  Lia gasped. “They did!” She grabbed my arm. “Who in the hell was in my house?”

  I started to laugh again. Not because it was funny, but because this whole thing was just too much. This night had gone much better in my mind. “I’m so not taking you back to find out.”

  “Where am I supposed to go now? I can’t go back there… I just can’t.”