by Carina Adams
“She’s going in,” Sam, one of my security guards, told me, relaying the message he’d just received from his earpiece and nodding at the door. I gave them a few seconds and then I turned the handle and snuck in.
I’d only taken a couple of steps when a redheaded tornado hurtled into me, almost knocking herself over. I reacted without thinking, grabbing her arms to steady her. Her head jerked back, eyes widening when she saw me, a small gasp leaving those perfect lips I remembered all too well.
My fingers tightened on her shoulders for just a few seconds as my brain registered who I was looking at and I fought the urge to shake her hard enough to make her teeth rattle. Before my fingernails could dig into her flesh painfully, I managed to get control of my emotions. I couldn’t look away from those goddamn fear-filled eyes, though.
If I’d had a few more drinks at lunch, I’d think I was hallucinating. Fuck, it had happened more times than I wanted to admit. Once I followed a woman out of a restaurant, convinced she was Red. I’d barely talked my way out of an assault charge, but once the woman realized who I was, she’d been more than happy to settle with tickets to a show and some pictures for her friends.
I’d tried to find her. I searched everywhere I could think of, calling every college she’d applied to, looking in the cities she said she wanted to live, forcing Carson to help me by talking to her dad, and even tracking down her mom. It was like she’d vanished into thin air. Her parents would only tell me that she was okay and if she wanted me to know where she was, she’d tell me.
For years, I’d been convinced that Lia was going to come find me. I’d believed Mike when he told me Ally had twisted the truth, manipulating us all. Holding onto the belief that she loved me as much as I did her, I knew my girl would come to her senses eventually.
Every time a strange car pulled up the road to the farm, I’d think I was going to see her step out of the driver’s seat. Each time my phone rang and the screen read “unavailable,” I assumed it was her. Once the band started playing, I’d searched the crowds at every gig, hoping I’d see her deep blue eyes staring back at me. I’d demanded to see every letter that was sent to me, convinced she’d hear her song on the radio and know I needed her.
After years of complete radio silence, I’d had to face the brutal truth; I’d been nothing more than a goddamn game. The girl I had loved with every fiber of my body hadn’t given a fuck about me. Not really. Or, she would have stayed and fought for the life we’d planned. The realization had broken a piece of me, made me bitter.
Most of the women I’d dated over the past few years said she’d ruined me and caused me to hate women. Bullshit. I didn’t hate women. Fuck no; I loved them. Except for this one. I wasn’t sure how I felt about her, but I sure as shit never wanted to see her again.
Yet, here she was. The one place I never thought I’d see her. Running away from a meet and greet like the pathetic coward she was. Big fucking surprise. My jaw clenched as I let go of her. “You okay, ma’am?” I asked, trying to sound as casual as possible.
She nodded, swallowing audibly. Her eyes darted down, trying to avoid mine at all costs and I saw the red tint of embarrassment start to creep up her cheeks. Without a word, she turned around and hurried to a group of women in the back of the line.
I didn’t move, not sure I could. Part of me wanted to grab her and yank her back, demanding to know where she’d been. The other part… fuck if I know. Thoughts filled my brain, but none of them made a damn bit of sense.
Sam stepped forward, ready to tell Lia’s group that they would be the first to meet me when I reached out a hand and stopped him. “You make sure no one leaves out this door, yeah?” I said, leaning in close. “I’ll meet them at the front and then you can show them out that door.”
He gave me a puzzled look but nodded. “Yeah, boss.” He grabbed his cell and made the call, letting everyone on my security detail know that plans had changed. Then he led the way through the crowds. People moved but only when they realized I wasn’t some crazed fan trying to push my way through to the front. I heard plenty of women call my name but, surprisingly, no one tried to get grabby.
Molly stared at me as I joined her. Never letting her smile fall from her bright red lips, she leaned in slightly. “What are you doin’ up here?”
I shook my head. Molly Ray was the biggest pain in my ass this side of the Mississippi. She had more talent in her little finger than most of the big names in Nashville combined, but because she was as difficult as I was and didn’t have that squeaky clean “good girl” image everyone was after, she’d hit road block after road block in her career. Yeah, the woman had the voice of an angel, but that body of hers, covered in just as many tats as mine, would turn the devil himself inside out.
I’d met her by chance five years before when the boys and I had snuck away for the night and gone into some random dive to grab drinks. She’d been on stage, singing her heart out to a crowd that didn’t care what she sang as long as she was wearing as little as possible while she did it. After her set, she’d knocked some loser’s front tooth out when he grabbed her. Of course, that loser had been my drummer so I’d had to get involved.
We’d been best friends since. To get her on this tour, though, I’d had to promise there would be no redneck hick moves and that she’d be on her best behavior. I also had to remind everyone it was my granddaddy that had helped launch Outlaw Country to begin with and point out that if fans were coming to see me, they would be more shocked by a clean cut, country sweetheart opening than they would be by Molly.
If it had been anyone else, I would have expected some gratitude. Not from Molly, though. No, she figured the best way to thank me for giving her the opportunity of her life was to stick her nose in my business constantly. It became her personal responsibility to drive me fucking insane every chance she got.
I smiled at the first group in line. “Meeting my fans,” I answered.
She greeted the women, signing autographs and smiling before sending them to me. “I know that, dumbass,” she whispered as they left the room. “But, you’re supposed to be in the back.”
“Changed my mind,” I answered in the same lame-ass singsong tone she’d used. She gave me an annoyed look, letting me know she didn’t buy it. She’d never let it go, but I sure as hell wasn’t getting into it now.
For the next forty minutes, I tried to avoid looking at the back of the line, attempting to focus on the faceless people that wanted my undivided attention, if only for a few minutes. I answered the same questions about my tattoos, my piercings, and my relationship status that I got every time I met a fan. I tucked tens of scraps of paper, all containing phone numbers, into my back pocket, winking at whatever woman, or man, had slipped it to me. I laughed at jokes, grinned for cameras, and flirted my way through, all while keeping one eye on the last group.
When the second to last group had been let out the door and all that remained was Lia and her friends, Sam clapped his hands once before rubbing them together.
“Okay, ladies. Sorry to rush you but we’re out of time. Molly, you’re due on stage.”
Molly nodded – momentarily distracted – before stepping up to the women and giving them all hugs. “I’m sorry we didn’t have more time!” she exclaimed as she smiled for a picture with two of them.
“Sam.” I leaned back against the table, gripping the edge, and propped one foot over the other. “I’m not going out right now. I’ll finish up in here with this group. You take Mols out and come back.”
Molly’s mouth fell open as she gaped at me, but Sam only raised an eyebrow and pulled out his phone again. Narrowing her eyes, my friend watched me. Then realization lit her dark features and she turned back to the group abruptly, looking at each of them as if searching for something. She stopped on Lia, staring a little too intently. When Sam called to her again, though, she made apologies one more time, gave those air kisses that women do, and walked to the door.
She paused just for a se
cond, shooting me a worried look. “Love you.”
“Love you,” I replied instantly right before she left the room with Sam. I was as used to saying it to her as I was saying it to my mom, so much that it had become a thoughtless reaction. It didn’t make me uncomfortable and everyone that knew us understood the relationship we had. From the look on Lia’s face, though, the words had unnerved her; her nose scrunched in the way it used to when she was uncomfortable and she became fascinated with something on the floor.
Once the door was closed, it was just the five of us. Sam would be back in minutes but, for now, we had as much privacy as we could get. The metal on the underside of the table bit into my fingers as I held the table tighter, unable to let go while I figured out what to say. The women watched me, waiting for me to say something. Except for Red. She stared at the carpet like it was the most interesting thing in the world.
I didn’t know what I felt. Anger? I could have sworn I’d let that go years ago but, suddenly, it was back in full force and I was that teenage boy all over again, pissed off at the fucking world. Relief? Seeing her, here, in flesh and blood was definitely a change from the worry I’d unknowingly carried for years. There was also excitement. I wanted to shut it out and not be happy to see her, but I couldn’t.
That pissed me off and I clutched the table even harder, ignoring the pain. Fuck her. She left me. She packed her shit and walked out on me without as much as a goodbye. I didn’t get a “sorry I broke your heart,” before she abandoned me. There was no closure, just a fucking mess to clean up. I should not be glad that she was standing five fucking feet from me. But I was.
A blonde stepped forward slightly, attempting to break the tension that had filled the room. “Thank you for staying,” she stammered. “It’s our friend’s birthday and she’s your biggest fan. She’s so excited to meet you.” She held out her hand toward the other women, but none of them moved.
Normally, I’d make a big deal out of those words. Tonight, though, I didn’t feel like celebrating with fans. No, I wanted them to all disappear, giving me five minutes alone with the woman I would probably never see again. She owed me that; I deserved a chance to say my piece.
I blocked out the voice that was still speaking to me. All I could do was stare at the ginger, wishing she’d at least have the balls to look up and face me. If she felt my eyes on her at all, she didn’t show it. Instead, she just kept her eyes glued to the floor.
I took a deep breath. “Didn’t think I’d see you here, Lia,” I finally spoke and the blonde stopped talking abruptly. Three sets of eyes watched me cautiously.
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw them glance around at each other, confusion clear in their expressions. I realized one of them was shaking her head as if telling the others she had no idea what was going on. The short one barked out a laugh, muttering something about inbreeding under her breath. The tall one next to her elbowed her, but Lia didn’t look up.
“You really gonna come to my concert and ignore me?” I didn’t care how angry I sounded.
The blonde frowned at me while the brunette answered in a bitchy tone, “I don’t know what you’re talking about, but, I think you’re…”
Lia laid a hand on her friend’s arm, finally looking up. “He’s talking to me.” The words were barely a whisper, but the room was so quiet that everyone heard it.
The short one scowled. “CeCe?”
I forced out a laugh. “CeCe. Really?” She fucking hated that name.
“Really. Neil,” she snapped loudly. Her eyes sparkled in anger as they looked into mine, daring me. Her message was clear: neither one of us was the kid we once were. And she was just as angry and conflicted as I was.
“Neil?” The brunette gasped, obviously horrified.
“I get the feeling we’re missing something,” the little one deadpanned to the others. “Wanna fill us in?” she asked, crossing her arms over her chest.
No one moved as the music from Molly’s set drifted through the walls. I couldn’t peel my eyes away from Lia. She stared back, arching one eyebrow at me as if in challenge. Her friends stood silently, watching our exchange.
She’d aged well; the softness of adolescence had faded into sharp lines that defined her face. Her hair was a deeper red than it had been, now with dark streaks instead of blond. The eyes were the same, though, still too big for her face. The little freckles that used to drive me crazy had faded some but were visible enough to add character.
My gaze traveled down slowly, taking all of her in for the first time. Her face may have thinned, but the rest of her had filled out. I remembered her as the teenage girl I’d known, but this person in front of me was all woman. All soft and curvy and sexy as fuck. Her shirt hid more than it showed and I suddenly wanted to see more. A lot more.
“Nice shirt.” What the fuck? It was the dumbest shit I could possibly say and I instantly wished I could take it back.
Lia snorted. “Wow. Really?”
What did she want me to say? I stood, pushing myself away from the table as she pulled herself taller and glared at me, both ready for the confrontation we knew was coming. I didn’t have a freaking clue where to start.
Sam shoved open the door, calling out to me. Unsure of what he’d just walked in on, he hesitated by the door for a second before joining our happy party. “Let me show you ladies to your seats.” He glanced at me. “You’re on, boss.”
I nodded, not taking my eyes off the stranger in front of me. I had so much to say to her, so much I wanted to hear her say. But I was a fucking jackass and just stared at her until she started to follow her friends from the room without as much as a goodbye.
I didn’t think, just reacted, my feet carrying me across the room before I knew what I was doing. I caught up just in time, grabbing her arm and pulling her back into the room, slamming the door shut and shoving her against it. “You didn’t say goodbye,” I growled before releasing her, moving my arms to either side of her head, blocking her in, and pressing my body against hers. “You grew up, Red.”
Nostrils flared as she watched me. “Always the one to point out the obvious.” Small hands pushed against my chest, trying to move me away. It was a cute attempt, really, but I wasn’t moving. She sighed in frustration. “At least one of us did.”
My reply was cut off when the door behind us flew open and someone cleared their throat. “What?” I growled, not turning toward them.
“I’m sorry to bother you, Mr. Kelly. But they need you on stage.”
My fists curled in frustration. I’d been looking forward to this show all week, but right now, all I wanted to do was tell them all to get fucked and haul Lia out to my trailer. I groaned, smacking the door above her head and startling Red before I backed away from her. “Take her to her seat,” I ordered the tech that was still standing there, watching me closely.
I moved away from the door so they could go the easiest way, but I couldn’t look at her. She stopped, reaching for my hand before she thought better of it and yanked it back, and then looked at me with sad eyes. “Goodbye, Neil.”
I let her walk away. I hated it, but I needed to let her go. Again.
I stomped my way to the stage, rolling my neck back and forth, trying to make myself relax before the show. As I waited in the wings, watching Molly finish up her last set, I stretched, thinking of anything I could other than Red.
“Where the fuck you been, man?” Rebel, my lead guitarist, asked as he slid up next to me.
“Fuck off.”
Reb held up his hands. “Dude. You were laughin’ and happy and shit when I left you a few hours ago.”
I had been. Before I’d seen her again. I ignored him, waiting for Mols to call us out, wondering where in the hell Red was sitting. I half-hoped I’d never see her again, and I half-prayed I would.
Chapter Twenty-Three
~ Cecelia ~
I followed the young man through hallways, not paying attention to where we were going, trying to get my heart to s
top pounding. Holy shit. I’d seen Neil, or Nate – or whatever in the hell I was supposed to call him now – and survived.
I’d managed to get my breathing back to normal when we stopped abruptly and the kid gestured to the row of seats in front of him. “This is you,” he said, leaning close and pointing to a spot halfway down the aisle. “Have a nice night, ma’am.”
I rolled my eyes, annoyed that we, of course, couldn’t have aisle seats. Instead, we were in the middle of the damn row. I apologized profusely as I squeezed in front of people, beyond happy when I saw the girls and plopped down in my seat. The opening act, the beautiful young girl we’d met earlier, was singing her heart out on stage, but my friends acted like I was the only person in the world.
“What in the hell was that?” Nina demanded before my ass had even touched the cushion.
“How in the hell do you know Nate Kelly?” Cort hissed, leaning in front of Cora.
They all glared at me as if I’d kept the biggest secret in the world from them. I’d told them all about Neil and the demons I still had from that time of my life. Okay, so maybe I’d omitted a few things – like who Neil grew up to be – but it wasn’t as if I’d lied to them.
I shrugged, suddenly exhausted. “It’s a long story.”
Cora did what she did best and took control of the situation. “Fine,” she snapped, grabbing my hand and holding it tight. “We have a long ride back and you can fill us in then. In the meantime, let’s enjoy the show.”
Yeah, that’s what I’d do.
The girl was finishing up, waving and thanking the audience. Then she smiled, pushed the cowboy hat back off her face a little, and asked, “Are y’all ready?” The crowd went crazy. “Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Nate Kelly!”