She handed him the glass, which he took without comment. She listened to him open the fridge and then moved to wait by the counter while he scrounged for food.
While Sasha had been taking care of Zarek, she had placed a small dab of Lotus serum into Sasha's drink.
It took a little longer for the serum to work on him. Because of their metabolism, Were-Hunters were always harder to drug than humans.
"Astrid, tell me you didn't do this?" Sasha said a short time later as the drug started to take effect. She heard the faint electrical crackle that heralded a change in his form.
Astrid felt her way over to him. He was already a wolf again and was sound asleep.
Alone now, she walked through her house making sure the lights and stove were turned off and the heat was set to a comfortable level.
She went to her room and pulled out the Idios serum. Holding it in her hand, she went to Zarek's room.
She took a sip, then snuggled down to sleep by his side, to learn more about this man and what secrets his heart harbored…
Zarek was in New Orleans. Distant music filtered out through the cool night air while he paused near the Old Ursuline Convent in the French Quarter.
A group of tourists were gathered around a tour guide who was dressed much like Anne Rice's Lestat, while a second "vampire" dressed in a long black cape and fake fangs stood back, watching him.
The tourists were listening intently as the guide recounted a famous murder in the city. Two bodies had been found on the front steps of the convent, completely drained of blood. The old legends said that the convent was believed to have once housed vampires who came out at night to prey on the city.
Zarek snorted at the absurdity.
The guide, who claimed to be a three-hundred-year-old vampire named Andre, looked over at him.
"Hey," Andre said to his group as he pointed to Zarek. "There's a real vampire, right there."
The group turned as one to look at Zarek who stared evilly at them.
Before he could think better of it, Zarek bared his fangs at them and hissed.
The tourists shrieked and ran.
So did the tour guides.
Had Zarek laughed, he would have laughed at the sight of them tearing down the street as fast as they could run. As it was, he could only appreciate the mayhem he'd caused with a cynical twisting of his lips.
"I can't believe you just did that."
He looked over his shoulder to see Acheron standing in the shadows like a dark specter, dressed in black and sporting long purple hair.
Zarek shrugged. "Whenever they stop running and reflect on it, they'll think it was part of the show."
"The tour guide won't."
"He'll think it was a prank. Humans always explain us away."
Acheron sighed heavily. "I swear, Z. I was hoping you'd use this time here to show Artemis that you can mingle with people again."
He looked at Acheron drolly. "Sure you were. Why don't you cover me in shit and tell me it's mud while you're at it?"
He started to walk off.
"Don't walk away from me, Z."
He didn't stop.
Acheron used his powers to pin him to the side of the stone wall. Zarek had to give the head Dark-Hunter credit. At least Acheron knew better than to touch him. Not once in two thousand years had Acheron laid a physical hand on him. It was as if the Atlantean understood how much mental anguish such contact caused.
In a weird way, he felt as though Acheron respected it.
Acheron met his gaze and held it. "The past is dead, Z. Tomorrow will become whatever decision you make here this week. It has taken me five hundred years of negotiating with Artemis to get you this chance to prove to her that you can behave. For the sake of your sanity and your life, don't blow it."
Acheron released him and headed off after the tourists.
Zarek didn't move until he was alone again. He let Acheron's words wash over him as he stood silently contemplating things.
He didn't want to leave this city. From the moment he'd arrived to see the crowd gathered at Jackson Square, he'd been enchanted with New Orleans.
Most of all, he'd been warm.
No, he wouldn't blow this. He would do his duty and protect the humans who lived here.
No matter what it took, he would do what he needed to get Artemis to let him stay.
He would never kill another human…
Zarek had started on his way down the street when a group of four men caught his eye. By their extreme height, blond hair, and good looks, he pegged them for Daimons.
They were whispering among themselves, but even so he could hear them plainly.
"Bossman said she lives above Club Runningwolf's in a loft."
One of the Daimons laughed. "A Dark-Hunter with a girlfriend. I didn't think such a thing existed."
"Oh, yeah. Paybacks will be hell. Imagine how he'll feel when he finds her drained, naked body lying in her bed waiting for him."
Zarek started to attack them right then, but paused as a group of humans stumbled out of a bar, into the street. Intent on their target, the Daimons didn't even look at them.
The tourists stayed on the street, laughing and joking, never knowing that if not for a previous engagement, the Daimons would be headed straight for them.
Life was a very fragile thing.
Grinding his teeth, Zarek knew he'd have to wait until he could corner the Daimons in an alley where they wouldn't be seen.
He dropped back into the shadows where he could still watch and hear them, and followed them toward Sunshine's loft…
Astrid's head ached as she followed Zarek through his dreams and let his anger and pain infiltrate her. She was with him in the alley where he'd fought the Daimons and was then assaulted by the cops.
And she was with him on the rooftop when he called Talon to warn him to watch after Sunshine. She felt Zarek's rage. His desire to help people who could only scorn and berate him.
Wrongfully judge him.
He didn't understand how to reach out to them.
So he attacked them instead. Lashed out at them before they could lash out at him.
In the end, it was too much for her to handle. She had to pull herself away from him or she might find herself driven insane by the raw intensity of his emotions.
It was a struggle to separate herself from him. The binding serum was strong and it wanted to keep them united, but as a nymph, she was stronger.
Summoning all her powers, she ripped her geist from his until she was no longer part of Zarek and his memories.
Now she was only a dream observer, so she could watch, yet not feel his emotions.
But she could feel her own and she ached for this man in a way she had never thought possible. The rawness of her recovered emotions overwhelmed her. His past and his scars tore through her, blasting away the numb cocoon that had encased her for so long.
For the first time in centuries, she felt someone else's agony. More than that, she wanted to soothe it. To hold this man who couldn't escape from what he was.
As she watched, Zarek's dream darkened. She saw him struggle through a fierce blizzard. He was dressed only in a pair of black leather pants with no shirt or shoes. His arms wrapped around him, he shook from the cold and trudged forward, cursing at the howling winds as he stumbled and fell in the ice-cold waist-deep snow.
Every time he fell, he pushed himself up and kept going. His strength amazed her.
The winds whipped at his broad, tawny shoulders, blowing his long black hair around his clean-shaven face. He squinted as if trying to see through the storm.
But there was nothing around them. Nothing but white, barren landscape.
Numb to the cold that plagued him, Astrid followed him.
"I won't die," Zarek snarled, gaining speed as he walked. He looked up at the starless, black sky. "Do you hear me, Artemis? Acheron? I won't give either of you the satisfaction."
He started running then, trudging through t
he crunching snow like a child running after a toy. His feet were red from the cold, his bare skin mottled.
Astrid struggled to keep up.
Until he fell.
Zarek lay quietly in the snow, facedown with one arm above his head and one out before him, panting from his run. She stared at the tattoo at the base of his spine that moved with his breaths.
Rolling over onto his back, he looked up at the black sky as the snowflakes fell on his naked upper body and leather pants. His wet black hair was plastered to his head. He continued to breathe heavily while his teeth chattered from the cold.
Still he didn't move.
"I just want to be warm," he whispered. "Just once let me be warm. Is there no star capable of sharing its fire with me?"
She frowned at his odd question, but then, in dreams bizarre phrases and events were commonplace.
Zarek rolled over again and pushed himself up, then continued through the blizzard.
He led her toward a small, isolated cabin in the middle of the woods. There was only one window, but the light inside was a bright beacon in the cold desolation of the arctic storm.
It looked so inviting.
Astrid heard laughter and conversations coming from inside.
Zarek stumbled toward the solitary side window. Breathing heavily, he splayed his hand against the frosty glass pane as he stared inside like a small, hungry child standing outside a fancy restaurant where he knew he would never be welcomed.
She came up behind him so that she could see inside, too.
The cabin was filled with Dark-Hunters. They were celebrating something while a blazing fire roared in the fireplace. There was food and drink aplenty while they laughed, drank, and spoke to each other like brothers and sisters. A family.
Astrid didn't recognize any of them, except for Acheron. But it was obvious Zarek knew them all.
Clenching his fist, he pushed himself away from the window and headed to the front door of the cabin.
Zarek pounded fiercely on it. "Let me in," he demanded.
A tall blond man opened the door. He wore a black leather motorcycle jacket with red Celtic scrollwork on it and a pair of black leather pants. His dark brown eyes were scornful and held an extremely distasteful look on his handsome face. "No one wants you here, Zarek."
The blond tried to close the door.
Zarek braced one hand against the doorframe and the other against the door so that he could keep the man from shutting him out. "Damn you, Celt. Let me in."
The Celt stepped back as Acheron came forward to block Zarek's way. "What do you want, Z?"
Zarek's face was anguished as he met Acheron's gaze. "I want to come in." He hesitated and when he spoke his next words, his eyes were bright with humiliation and need. "Please, Acheron. Please let me in."
There were no emotions on Acheron's face. Not one.
"You're not welcome here, Z. You'll never be welcome among us."
He closed the door.
Zarek pounded against the wood and cursed. "Damn you, Acheron! Damn all of you!" Then he kicked the door and tried the knob again. "Why won't you just kill me, you bastard! Why?"
This time when Zarek spoke, the anger was gone from his voice. It was hollow and needful, aching, and it affected her even more than when he'd asked to die. "Let me in, Ash, I swear I'll behave. I swear it. Please don't leave me out here alone. I don't want to be cold anymore. Please!"
Tears fell down Astrid's face as she watched Zarek beating against the door, demanding they open it.
No one came.
The laughter continued inside as if he didn't exist
In that moment, Astrid fully understood the desolate isolation he felt. The loneliness and abandonment.
"Fuck all of you!" Zarek roared. "I don't need any of you. I don't need anything."
Finally, Zarek threw his back against the door and then slid down to kneel in the midst of the cold, swirling winds. His hair and eyelashes were white and frozen from the snow, his exposed skin red.
He closed his eyes as if the sound of their merriment was more than he could take. "I don't need anything or anyone," he whispered.
And then everything in the dream changed. The cabin shifted form until it became her temporary house in Alaska.
There were no more Dark-Hunters in his dream. No more storm. It was a perfect, peaceful night.
"Astrid." He breathed her name like a gentle prayer. "I wish I could be with you."
She couldn't move as she heard those softly spoken words.
He'd never said her name before and the sound of it on his lips was like a melodic song.
He looked up at the dark sky where a million stars twinkled through the clouds. " 'I wonder,' " he said quietly, quoting again from The Little Prince, " 'whether the stars are set alight in heaven so that one day each one of us may find his own.'"
Zarek swallowed and folded his muscular arms around his legs as he continued to watch the heavens. "I have found my star. She is beauty and grace. Elegance and goodness. My laughter in winter. She is courageous and strong. Bold and tempting. Unlike any other in all the universe, and I cannot touch her. I dare not even try."
Astrid couldn't breathe as he spoke so poetically. She'd never really thought about the fact that her name meant "star" in Greek.
But Zarek had.
Surely no killer could have such beauty inside him?
"Astrid or Aphrodite," he said softly, "she is my Circe. Only instead of changing a man into an animal she has made the animal human."
Then anger descended on him and he kicked at the snow before him. He laughed bitterly. "I am such a fucking idiot, wanting a star I can't have."
He looked up wistfully. "But then, all stars are beyond human reach and I'm not even human."
Zarek buried his head against his arms and wept.
Astrid couldn't stand it anymore. She wanted out of this dream, but without M'Adoc's help, she couldn't rouse herself from sleep.
All she could do was watch Zarek. Watch his anguish and grief that cut through her like glycerin on glass.
He was so strong in life. An iron forge that could withstand any blow. One who lashed out at other people to keep them away from him.
It was only in his dreams that she saw what was inside him. The vulnerability.
Only here that she truly understood the man he dared not show to anyone.
The tender heart that was hurt by their scorn.
Astrid wanted to ease his suffering. She wanted to take him by the hand and show him a world where he wasn't locked outside. Show him what it was like to reach out to someone and not be knocked away.
Not once in all the centuries she had judged had Astrid felt this way about anyone. Zarek touched a part of her that she didn't even know existed.
Most of all, he touched her heart. A heart she had feared was no longer functioning.
But it beat for him.
She couldn't just stand here, watching him ache in his solitude.
Before she could think better of it, she flashed herself into her empty cabin and opened the door…
Zarek's heart stopped beating as he looked up and saw the face of heaven. No, she wasn't heaven.
She was better. So much better.
Never in this dream had anyone opened the door once he'd been shut out.
But Astrid had.
She stood in the doorway, her face gentle. Her pale blue eyes were no longer blind. They were hot and welcoming. "Come inside, Zarek. Let me warm you."
Before he could stop himself, he stood up and took her outstretched hand. It was something he would never have done in real life. Only in a dream would he have dared to touch her.
Her skin was so warm that it burned him.
She pulled him into her arms and held him close. Zarek shook at the novelty of a hug, at the sensation of her breasts against his chest. Her breath on his frozen skin.
So this is what a hug felt like. Hot. Soothing. Miraculous.
His human conta
ct had been so limited in his lifetime that all he could do was close his eyes and just feel the warmth of her body surrounding his.
The softness of her.
He inhaled her warm, sweet scent and reveled in the newfound emotions that tore through him.
Was this acceptance?
Was this nirvana?
He didn't know for sure. But for once, he didn't want to wake up from this dream.
Suddenly a warm blanket was wrapped around his shoulders. Her arms still held him tight.
Zarek cupped her face in his hand and pressed his cheek to hers. Oh, the feeling of her flesh touching his…
She was so soft.
He'd never imagined anyone being soft like this. So tender and inviting.
The warmth of her cheek on his took the stinging burn of the cold away. It crept through his body until he thawed completely out. Even his heart that had been encased by ice for centuries.
Astrid trembled at the sensation of Zarek's prickly cheek against hers. Of his breath falling gently against her skin.
His unexpected tenderness tore through her.
She'd seen enough of his life to know gentleness was not something he had experience with and yet he held her so carefully.
"You're so warm," he breathed in her ear. His hot breath tickled her neck, and sent chills all over her.
He pulled back and stared at her as if she were unspeakably precious to him. He brushed the back of his knuckles against her jaw. His eyes were so dark and tormented while he stared at her, as if unable to believe she was with him.
His gaze uncertain, he touched her lips with the tip of his forefinger. "I've never kissed anyone before."
His confession stunned her. How could a man so handsome have never kissed?
Fire sparked in his eyes. "I want to taste you, Astrid. I want to feel you hot and wet under me. To look into your eyes while I fuck you."
She shivered at his crudeness. It was what she expected from the conscious Zarek, but she refused to take that from this one.
She knew him better than that.
What he suggested now was forbidden. She wasn't allowed to ever cross the physical line with her charges.
The only one who had ever tempted her to break that rule had been Miles. But she had met that temptation and wisely kept herself away from him.
DANCE WITH THE DEVIL Page 13