by Ivy M. Jones
I didn't realize I was listening so intently until the sound of loud cheering echoes in my head.
"Give me your cell!" Nicki shouts.
I do as she asked and watch her call her phone from mine. Then she adds herself as a contact.
"We can go Tuesday after work. Is that okay? They might need time to make alterations!" she shouts over the cheering.
I nod and look out over the dance floor and stage. Our table is well placed, even in the VIP section. The waiter's station is fifteen feet away with a clear view. I can see the signs for the restrooms in the other direction, and just below me, I have a perfect view of the stage. The view gets even better - and the screams and cheering impossibly louder - when Dark Fire comes on.
Andy and Nicki sit back and watch, enjoying the music, but I'm sitting forward, practically crawling over the table to get closer. Too far and I'll fall off the balcony. I try to rein it in, but I've never gotten to watch Zach perform. I was always up there with him. This is an entirely new experience, and one that has me screaming along with the rest of the club, and Andy and Nicki, too.
I cry when they get to the requests. I can hear the audience shouting out Night of Dreams, but Zach just shakes his head with a sad smile and Justin calls out that he heard someone ask for Nicolette. I turn and look at Nicky.
"My cousin's a dick, okay?" But she's smiling.
I'm emotionally exhausted, but my body is shaking with excitement by the last song. The crowd's still screaming requests but Justin looks at Zach and steps away from his mic. The crowd senses something big is happening. I look at Andy and Nicki. Their mouths are open, eyes wide, staring at the stage.
"Hey guys," Zach says into his mic. The crowd shouts out back to him. He's sitting on a little stool behind his keyboard and he twists as if uncomfortable.
"So, I wrote Night of Dreams," he says. The crowd answers back in shouts and whistles and cheers.
"It may not have happened the way I always wanted it to in that song, but I did finally get my dream girl," he explains.
My mouth is hanging open and I see Nicki smiling like a loon again. Andy has tears running down her face.
"So, dream girl, this is for you." The crowd finally hushes and I watch Zach hit a series of buttons and begin to play. It's a soft piano melody at first, haunting and lovely, but I know it somehow.
"I don't get many things right the first time,
In fact, I'm told that a lot
Now I know all the wrong turns the stumbles,
And falls brought me here
And where was I before the day
That I first saw your lovely face,
And I know
That I am... That I am, I am, I am, the luckiest..."
I'm crying now, too. There are tears in lots of eyes as we all watch the stage. Zach doesn't look at our table; his eyes seem hazy and unfocused the whole time, as if he's imagining me.
He sings the entire Ben Folds' song, The Luckiest, to me even though he can't give away my location.
The song closes and he lets the notes carry off into nothing. Just before the crowd explodes, he glances up at our table, then away. But in that split second, I manage to mouth the words I love you for him. He nods a couple of times, staring at the floor so I know he saw me.
The crowd is going crazy and it's almost two hours before we head home. We get in his Magnum and Zach pulls me to him and I just hold him tight. We're not kissing, not touching except our embrace, and it's another perfect moment of peace.
I'm standing in Zach's room, trying to find something to wear to work amongst the clothes hung in his closet when I realize I've basically moved in with him. Lasagna night was the first night I ever spent with him, in bed, sleeping. When I admitted the next morning that I've never slept with or slept with anyone else, he got a little...excited.
We were lying in bed after the alarm on my cell went off, trying to decide how the morning after should go- that I should get the shower first because I had to get to work, that he would make the coffee while I was in there, that kind of thing. I got a little bashful when I realized I was naked. Of course, Zach was ready for the floorshow, his arms behind his head, knowing I would have to walk from my side of the bed all the way around to his in order to get to the bathroom.
"I've never done this before," I admitted.
"Done what? Taken a shower? I find that hard to believe," he laughed.
"No... The morning after...thing. I've never spent the night with a guy. Ever."
I also ended up admitting that he'd been my first, most recent, and everything in between.
He ended up in the shower with me, using his mouth to tell me how grateful he was that he was the only man who had ever had the honor. I didn't want to break the spell so I didn't remind him that it was because I was too busy searching for him. I was always dreaming of him.
After work, I found myself in my apartment only long enough to throw another bag of clothes together, say hello and goodbye to Lucy, and then I was knocking on Zach's door.
Cy answered it and invited me in. The guy wasn't as hot as Zach, but there wasn't a single guy in Dark Fire who was in any way unattractive. He took the bag from my shoulder and dropped it on the counter while I stood there like a statue.
"Zach went downstairs to pay the delivery guy."
Since I knew you could leave petty cash with the security desk to pay for food, I must have looked confused.
"He insisted. Plus, I figure he's dropping a few hundred more in the pot for future orders. Dude just cannot get over the fact that he lives here." He shook his head and gestured to the couch. "You play?"
When I looked, there was a guy on the screen about to be shot to death. That didn't bother me, but I have zero interest in it. I'm much better at puzzle games. So I declined and waited, leaning against the counter until Zach comes back.
When he saw me waiting, the biggest, brightest smile lit up his face and he just put the food on the counter and grabbed me by wrist to drag me down the hallway.
"Don't wait up," he called out to Cy.
And then we were back in bed. I could still smell us on the sheets from the night before. The bed hadn't been made but I didn't care. We made love until Cy knocked on the door and told us he was putting the food away and to put some clothes on if we wanted some while it was still warm.
I convinced Zach that one night of cold dinner was plenty and we ended up eating on the couch, Zach attempting to play and eat. Zach claimed that Cy was going to have to take advantage of his lack of focus in order to beat his score, and Cy openly questioned whether or not Zach actually had a penis since he seemed to be a real pussy.
They both stared at me for a second with the horror of realization, but I just laughed and waved them back to their game.
The next night, I came home from work, stuffed a bunch of outfits into a large suitcase, and knocked on Zach's door. Same big smile, same exhilaration as Zach towed me down the hall to the bedroom. We had fast food in the car on the way to FishBowl.
Over the weekend, after I'd done my laundry at his place and folded it into a basket to carry back to my apartment, Zach grabbed my laundry basket and hauled it to his room, taking out some panties and putting them in a drawer with a few other pairs. I noticed my luggage was empty, put away in the corner of his closet. The clothes that had been in it were now hung in the closet and put in drawers.
And now it's Tuesday. I wander into the kitchen where Zach's making coffee for us. He doesn't have to get up this early, but he does so he can spend the extra time with me.
"I thought you'd be in the shower," he says, handing me a hot cup, doctored just the way I like. The creamer I like is in his fridge and there's a stash of Raisinettes in the cabinet next to his vintage rootbeer.
"Something occurred to me," I say, taking a sip of coffee. It's perfect, of course.
"Okay."
"I was wondering when I moved in, exactly."
He loses the happy grin he'd been wearing an
d puts his mug down. "I may have been, uh, a little...forward with that."
I wrap my arms around his neck.
"I didn't even notice until this morning when I went looking for my clothes," I murmur into his neck. "I just wanted to make sure it's what you wanted, too."
"I wanted it so much, I've kinda already talked to Cy about you moving in. Like for good."
I take a shocked step back.
"Shit. Sorry. I shouldn't have just assumed-"
"I can't leave Lucy in the lurch like that, Zach. She can't make rent on her own. I'm still paying my half even though I'm pretty sure Teddy's there with her most of the time."
Zach pulls me back in against his body. He's warm, giving off heat through his shirt and flannel pajama pants. He doesn't wear them in bed, so they smell too fresh, not like him. But they're not for my benefit, they're for Cy's, in case he wanders in.
"What if there was another option?" he asks, running his hands up and down my arms.
We have the kitchen to ourselves for now; Cy's still asleep. Zach's hands travel down to my ass.
"Well, maybe we could all move into Nicki's place..."
I eye him suspiciously. "Nicki... Reception Nicki, of Griffin and Nicki, I'm assuming," I say, phrasing it like a question.
"Yeah. When I moved out overnight, I stayed at her place... And here's the thing- it's huge. She lived there all by herself, but there are three rooms, and I've been thinking of selling my house anyway and-" I cut him off.
"I'm not sure what you're talking about...You have a house? But you might sell it? And we would all move in together? I don't know what you're saying, Zach..."
I take a step back and he looks flustered. He can't seem to make the sentence come out right. I hear Cy's voice from behind me in the hall.
"He's trying to find a way for us all to stay together. Lucy and me and both of you," he explains, his lips twitching.
"I just don't want to leave you in the lurch either," Zach says to Cy. "Or have to fight over the big screen," he adds.
Cy turns to me. "And he never told you that he's paying half the rent on your apartment, did he."
I close my eyes and wonder, when I open them, will the whole room stop spinning?
"You're paying half the rent here, a mortgage, and half my rent? I'm only paying a quarter of the normal rent for that apartment?" I'm probably shaking, my adrenaline is pumping and my mind is whirling.
"Well, no... I own the house outright. I only pay the taxes. But I don't care about the money, Sarah. I only want you. I want to be with you, wherever you want to be. So I'm asking you: What do you want to do?"
If he'd said anything else, I probably would have been mad. But he asked me, which is what I've been begging him to do all along. How can I be mad about that?
Easily, part of me argues. He never told you about paying your rent.
"I need to tell Lucy. She needs to know that the apartment is twice as expensive as we thought," I say, rubbing my head.
"Actually, she already knows," Cy volunteers.
"What?" Zach and I both ask, our words tumbling over each other.
"I saw her downstairs while she was flirting with Teddy and she outright asked me if Zach was paying part of your rent. She put together how Zach got you the apartment and filled it with furniture and then she probably just asked Teddy what the monthly rent is for her apartment. She's pretty smart..."
The implication being that I'm not? I ball up my fist and smack him in the hip. It's not hard, but it gets my message across.
"Dude, did you just call my girlfriend dumb?" Zach looks flabbergasted, but I can read between the lines. He's just messing with Cy.
"Yup. I'm an asshat. So now you have a perfect excuse to move into Sarah's apartment. Lucy can take your old room if she wants; I don't care. I'm never here."
"You are not allowed to sleep with my best friend," I tell Cy, my stern face on.
He crosses his heart, pretends to poke himself in the eye, and then swallows the key. It makes no sense whatsoever, but I get what he's saying.
"I'll ask her."
"My money says she's waiting for you to announce that you're moving," Cy says, moving to the coffeemaker and pouring himself a cup.
I glance at the coffeemaker clock and jump. "Shit! Work! I have to go!"
Zach walks with me to the bedroom and into the bathroom. "I didn't mean to drop this on you when you have to rush out the door," he says, running his finger over my lower lip.
"I know. The conversation was going to happen sooner or later." I pull my shirt off and drop it to the floor. Next, I drop my panties and sleep shorts to the floor, then continue. "Since Lucy knows about the rent thing and is waiting for me to move, I'm guessing the next time I go back, I'm in for the third degree."
I step into the shower and Zach just stands there watching until I disappear behind the shower curtain.
"I'm getting a clear shower curtain," Zach says roughly.
"Oh?"
"Yes."
Then I hear the door open and close and he's gone. I finish my shower as quickly as possible and rush off to work.
At lunch, I meet Lucy at a place that does nothing but salads. We have our plates in front of us when I open with, "So you know about Zach and the rent, huh?"
She nods like it's no big deal.
"It doesn't bother you?" I try to swallow a bite of salad as casually as possible.
"Sarah, I figured it out around the same time you told me Mr. Europe was actually Zach. Teddy was bitching about how he can't afford to live in the same building he works in and I asked him how much a one bedroom would go for. And yeah. We couldn't even afford that, so when I saw Cy, I asked. I figured Zach's best friend would know, and if you didn't know, it's because you've been too busy being in love with your soul mate."
"Soul mate?"
"Yes, Sare. He's your soulmate. You found each other despite everything. Fate can't keep you apart. Nothing can. Not time. Not even knowing that being together could be disastrous. That's a soul mate thing," she explains. I watch her take a series of quick, tiny bites of salad.
"Sarah, I..." I don't even know what to say.
"I love you, Sare, but this is bigger than you and me. This is bigger than Zach and his best friend, too. This is bigger than where you live. It's bigger than your roommate being on her own. And it's bigger than how to divide the formal glassware - the right answer there is that I get it all. It's about accepting that fate wants you guys together and nothing else matters," she says.
Her fork is back in her salad and she's inhaling it like it's the last time she'll see one in decades.
"You in a hurry?" I ask.
"Huh? Oh, sort of. I have to get back to work. I'm trying to sneak out early for my date with Teddy."
"Another date with Teddy, huh? How's that going?" I ask between bites.
She shrugs, her mouth filled with food. Finally, she answers, "He's not my soul mate but he's, ahem, got it where it counts."
I'm chasing a crouton around on my plate when she says this and the little piece of toasted bread goes sailing into the air, clearing the side of the table by a good foot when it comes down.
"Dammit."
Lucy just laughs. "Like I didn't know exactly what you two were doing when I got home from work on Monday. For about five minutes, you had me thinking you were sick. And then you guys started going at it in there. Yeah, figured that out fast."
I put my hand to my cheek. Yup, nice and warm. I rest the side of my water glass against my face and hide my grimace behind the obstruction.
"Just sayin'. You don't want to know about Teddy's moves in the bedroom, and I don't want to hear Zach's." She laughs and finishes her salad.
"Most women would be all over that. Shouldn't you be trying to win him over or something? He's, like, megafamous and super rich. I'm surprised women aren't lining up outside our building."
"Are you trying to sell me on how awesome your soul mate is? 'Cause I love you, babydoll,
and that makes him off limits. Sisters before misters and all that. No matter how much of a catch your man is." She tosses cash onto the table and stands. "Don't sell yourself short, Sare. You have something none of the other women in the world do, no matter how many line up outside for him."
I flag the waiter for a box for the rest of my salad. I'll eat it at my desk when I get back to work. "What's that?" I ask, already laughing at her. There's nothing I have that no other woman has. Nothing that can keep Zach with me if he decides to leave me for someone skinnier or younger.
"You have fate on your side. He's your soul mate, remember?"
Then she's flouncing away, pulling her coat on as she leaves, her purse straps clenched in her teeth. Two minutes to stop and put her coat on wouldn't be the end of the world, but that woman really wants to get laid tonight, I guess.
I open the door to Zach's and step inside. I have a key now. He had it couriered to my office this afternoon. I feel odd using it though, like I'm actually breaking into his place.
"Zach?"
I can hear voices and make my way into the living room. The security guy from FishBowl is sitting in a chair at the dining room table, his eyes never leaving Andy. Zach and Justin and Andy sit on couches in the living room, talking.
"Hi," I say quietly.
Zach hears me anyway and jumps up. He rushes to me, planting himself in front of where I'm standing. His hands come up to my hair and we're kissing, long, Earth-shattering kisses that stop time and make me lose track of where we are.
I can hear crying and laughing, and I'm finally able to pull away.
Andy's crying, wrapped in Justin's arms on the couch while he sits there, cracking up watching us.
"Who's the guy over there?" I ask, darting my eyes to the security guy.
"That's Norm. He's Andy's bodyguard," Zach says.
"And driver," Justin interjects.
"And delivery guy," Andy adds, gesturing with her casted arm.
"So he drives you around, keeps you safe, and brings you food?" My arms are wrapped around Zach but I'm looking over my shoulder at Andy.