by M. C. Cerny
“Didn’t you set her up on this date?” I ask borrowing trouble.
“Don’t be mean, Jaxon. You’ve met Diana before. She needs a little nudging in that department.” Piper mumbles and I keep up the ignorant pretense so she doesn’t smack me with the towel that’s being twisted in her nervous hands. Who could forget the pocket size blond bombshell that looked like a stiff wind could knock over.
“We have? When?” I tease.
Piper is convinced I have a type, but I don’t, not really. Drink protein shakes and suddenly everyone thinks you’re into a certain body type and level of intelligence. If I had a type it would be nice, not the blown up boobs in a plastic body that come sauntering my way in and out of the gym. I’m not into dolls, I’d like a real woman with goals, but my dating resume leaves a lot to be desired.
“At my wedding, remember Diana? She’s a mom and totally off limits. I’ve known her forever.” My best friend from kindergarten and the closest thing to a sister practically growls at me. I don’t know who is more moody right now, but her pregnancy is kicking both our butts. I could really use a mint milkshake right now, the only problem is that the sympathy weight gain is affecting my workouts and I have body building competition soon.
“Piper, I’m not an idiot. Of course I know of Diana.” I tap my forehead.
Ah, Diana.
Diana was the girl destined for other things. The shy blond girl who went to parochial school fueling my adolescent dreams of plaid skirts, pig tails, and knee high socks until a certain pop star ruined that image. Somehow, Piper managed to keep us separate all these years so I only had glimpses of her few and far between. Not that it was hard to do considering I didn’t bother with girls until college. Will and I were super focused on our athletic scholarships and by that time I recalled Diana was already dating some guy she ended up marrying right after high school.
“Don’t look at me like I’m crazy because I’m harboring a life sucking thing in my body.” She stomps her foot. Legitimate foot pounding the padded mat in angry stomps. Her eyes narrow and I bite my tongue. I put my hands up letting her know I give.
“Alright, Uncle.” I concede taking the towel from her hands and use it to wipe my face off.
Piper huffs rolling her eyes telling me more while I get the weighted punching bag set up. “She had a bad date with this guy I set her up with and now I’m paranoid. I feel awful. It was supposed to work out. This is all my fault.”
“What was supposed to work out?” I ask not realizing I spoke that part out loud.
“The date. I thought he was her type. They would have been perfect and made cute little babies.” I grind me teeth. Thinking about Diana and babies killed my libido. I liked kids well enough and her daughter was adorable at Piper’s wedding. I think the idea of Diana and someone else sours the image for me.
“Piper, you’re meddling.” I land the first punch softly testing the bag’s set up. It swings wide so I stand in between the bag and Piper protecting her from getting wacked with the punching bag accidentally.
“I am not meddling.”
The bag swings and I catch it giving her the stink eye. Piper wouldn’t be so worried unless something happened and I don’t like that scenario at all.
“You are totally meddling. So either Milo isn’t keeping you busy enough at home or this guy was a complete dickbag.”
Arms crossed, toe tapping Piper eyeballs me. “I’m well aware of his dickbag status. I want you to teach her some self-defense moves.”
“Why? Did something else happen?” I scan Piper’s face. She avoids looking at me. “What happened, Piper?” I demand tossing the towel down.
She winces and I’m tempted to shake her senseless if she wasn’t harboring another human being at the moment. “He may have wanted more at the end of the date and Milo happened to be opening the front door hearing them and had to punch his co-worker.”
“Milo? Milo, your husband? The calmest guy I know?” I’m actually shocked and to be honest proud of my friend. Not that I didn’t think Milo couldn’t hold his own, but that he actually lost control enough to sucker punch a guy.
“Yes, Jax.”
“Milo the doctor?”
“YES!” Piper shouts rubbing her belly and I’m suddenly contrite. Can’t have Piper giving birth at the gym, her husband would have a conniption fit, especially if it was my fault.
“You okay, Pip?” I ask worried she might drop a kid from under her dress.
“Fine.” She growls taking a deep breath.
“Did he hurt her?”
“No, Diana is just shaken up. She’s skittish around guys, I should have known better, but I didn’t think this guy would move in for a front porch make out session with us inside babysitting.”
“Right.” I make a note to get the guy’s name from Milo next time I’m over for dinner. I hate that kind of shit. The guy should have been reading his date’s body language to know she wasn’t ready or into it.
“So you’ll do it?”
“Of course.” As if there was any other conclusion to this clusterfuck of Pip’s making. I liked Diana, as in I liked-liked her and if the universe would cooperated for two point two seconds I might even get to test that out.
“I knew you would.” Piper winks before adding, “Just keep your bear paws to yourself.”
“And what part of this isn’t meddling again?” I ponder how intimate self-defense teaching can get. We’d be forced to have some kind of physical contact. Diana on the ground and underneath me is a nice thought. Real nice.
“God no.” Piper slaps my chest. “I can already see where your mind is headed so just don’t try anything!”
“Ouch.” I rub the spot. It actually hurt because Piper put real energy behind the slap like a momma bear. I want to see if she left a mark but don’t want to give her the satisfaction when I check under my shirt.
Her tone deflates. “Totally not your type.”
Piper keeps talking but I stop listening with the assumption she’s put out there again, as if she’s somehow warning me off.
Scowling, “Unfair. Pretty sure I don’t have a type, Piper.”
I have preferences for lots of things. Ice cream, colors, cars, and sexual positions, but rarely ever for women.
“Uh huh.” She nods and I look in the mirror to see she’s referring to a woman I used to train. Big breasts, small waist, lean muscles and hair about three different shades of auburn. That woman was a client until she got handsy, now Igor trains her for bikini competitions. The other stuff I don’t ask about watching him walk over to her with a wide smile that obviously speaks to carnal knowledge of each other.
“What would be so awful if I was interested?” I test the water dipping my toe into the ocean of doubt in Pip’s expression.
She laughs. The brat actually chokes on a laugh.
“Really, Pip? I’m that far out of contention?”
“Well, come on Jax.” She perseverates, “When have I ever seen you be serious about a girl with an IQ higher than a banana? Anyway, she’s a mom and Maisy is my goddaughter.”
“What does that have to do with anything?”
“She has responsibilities and Maisy is finally doing well. Diana is having a hard time letting go of that no matter how much Milo reassures her and I drag her out.”
I put my arms out defenseless and unwilling to argue with my very pregnant, very annoying best friend because hopefully, this too shall pass.
“What Jax?”
“So because she has a daughter and I haven’t had a long term relationship I’m not capable of holding interest in her?”
Pip rolls her eyes ignoring my question and insulting me a bit more. If she only knew the long term commitment I did have involving my feelings for Diana and my utmost respect for her.
“Just train her, Jax. Please.” As if Piper really had to ask. Despite being warned off this might be my one chance to get to know Diana outside of Piper’s meddling.
“That I can do
.” Any man who lays a hand on a woman who says no is scum in my book.
“Good, she’ll be here in….” Piper checks her phone and winks skipping out as if she suddenly had all the energy in the world.
Holy crap, that didn’t prepare me at all.
“Piper!” I growl.
“Piper?” A blond head of hair peeks around the dark cloud of Piper’s head. Diana didn’t look old enough to be someone’s mother. She’s only become more beautiful over the years in that delicate and fragile way. She barely came up to my chin. Frankly she looked breakable. Maybe she needed a little muscle and strength training to fight back, but she already slayed my heart with one doe eyed look.
“Ok, I gotta go. See you two later!” Piper hops, as much as a bowling ball can. She gives one last dirty look and a slashing motion across her throat behind her friend’s head I was pretty sure I hadn’t deserved. Yeah, she was definitely meddling.
“Uh hi.” She holds out her hand. Her face looks pinched and tight as if she’s been holding onto a huge weight bearing down on her. I want to take that burden for her, ease the strain that’s so clearly marked on her face.
“Hi.”
She leans in whispering, “We meet again.”
“Right.” I whisper loudly, “Because of the baby shower.”
I nod like an idiot. My tongue thickens as if I had downed a protein shake too quickly waiting for it to make its way down my throat. Who knew that baby powder scent and blond hair had become a type? I didn’t have one before, but I definitely did now.
“We’ve also had dinner a few times.” She winks. I don’t count those because we were being chaperoned by Pip and Milo.
“Yup.” I’m an idiot. Diana probably thinks I’m another hulking jock pressing weights at the gym. If things got serious I was going to show her my recent MBA degree hanging in the back office nearly covered by an ugly painting.
I clear my throat starting over.
“I hear you’re looking to learn some self-defense moves?”
Her soft voice sucks me in, “Yeah, Pip thinks I need some karate chop kung-pow.” Her arms flail around and I catch her before she stumbles.
“Kung-fu.”
“What?” Her brow wrinkles making me smile. This would be okay. I’d make it work; I had to make it work.
“Kung-pow we can have for dinner after I show you how to kick ass.”
Five
Diana
“This is how you take down a guy coming at you.” We’ve been at this for an hour and my arms strain as my legs burn with the effort. Jax stalks me on the mat and my nerves accelerate my heart beat. It’s so loud I barely hear myself think let alone his instructions to use the defense moves he’s teaching me. My eyes can’t decide if they should hyper focus on what’s in front of me or blackout. This is going on week six of Jax Holden training me for what feels like some American Gladiator show. My muscles ache and sting while he pushes me harder with patience.
“I don’t want to hurt you.” Backing up to get away, I’m still sore from week one and week two brought on a few bruises I don’t tell him about. He’s got this terrible guilt complex that’s cute, but not going to toughen me up if he eases up on me. Jax has me lifting weights that feel like boulders, flipping tires, and doing lunges. My ass hasn’t felt this sore since childbirth. My legs certainly hadn’t been spread like that since. He stalks me some more around the mat and I shut those thoughts down.
“As if.” He instigates me to move.
“You’re asking for it.” I go at him and miss.
“Keep your hands up, protect your face. Come on again.” He urges.
I lunge and he keeps talking.
“I used to think of you as Wonder Woman you know.” He feints left and I go right.
“Is that so?” He dodges again and I follow suit.
“Yup. Think I’ve changed my mind though.”
“Really?”
“You’re a little warrior. A Valkyrie.”
“That’s funny Jax.”
“It’s true.” He swipes low and I move back.
“Come on Diana, use your moves.” He eggs me on.
“I’m trying.”
“No you’re not. Come at me. Give me all you got.”
Defensively I circle the mat. “Yes I am. Y-you’re just so big.”
“Big?” He looks put out if that’s possible and stops stalking me on the mat to stand still.
I follow him stopping to elaborate in case he misunderstood me opening my arms up wide to gesture.
“Yeah, you, you hulking man of muscle.” My brain doesn’t seem able to string a coherent grouping of words together and he stands there smiling.
“Hulk, huh?” If a guy smirking could get me hot and horny, let’s say Jax has the market on those skills and the last six weeks have been ridiculous.
“Promise me we can get Chinese food after?” I hunker down into position.
“Tired?” He asks.
“Hungry.” I dramatically breathe out rubbing my stomach which feels flatter than it has in years. I really hope he doesn’t make me toss ropes after this. My shoulders scream rejecting the idea.
“Hulk smash.” He beats his chest like a gorilla and I glare at him.
I grumble feeling like I’m trapped in a cage with a wild animal and my body buzzes waiting for him to catch me. “Hulk better feed me.”
“Cute. But that’s not going to save you.” Jax moves in on me in a rush and grabs me before I have a chance to fight back. I guess he didn’t need that clarification because I’m no sooner flipping through the air watching the ceiling and floor circle past my head. I land with a pant of air escaping my chest on the mat, except not a single part of me hit it with the force it should have because hulking man Jax braced me with his enormous hands. My skull is cradled in his palm and he’s got a hand on my hip holding me steady. He feels dangerously close, his chest grazing mine breathing as hard as I am. I swallow to catch my breath but my throat is dry so I settle on licking my chapped lips instead.
“Isn’t that why I have you?” I clear my throat again. “To save me?”
He stops and seems to think this over while his body hovers over me in a delicious heat I have no right thinking about. I hadn’t been out on a date since Piper’s flub. I found myself wanting to ask Jax what he was doing later, but I have to pick up Maisy in an hour from Piper’s house. The reality of being a single parent leaves me wary laying on the mat wishing he would make a move on me that didn’t involve self-defense. The best I was going to get was some Chinese take-out that had become our post work-out ritual.
Jax smiles before murmuring in my ear, “You’ll always have me to save you.”
I squeeze my eyes shut savoring the heat trapped between us and the energy buzzing off the mat. I could stay like this forever and that doesn’t scare me as much as it should.
A sound to our left distracts us and Jax peels away from me like I’m on fire. He easily lifts me up with one hand. I bounce on the mat into his chest and he steadies me with a hand on the middle of my lower back pulling me in close. We look up noticing Piper and a chorus of clearing throats ensues. Okay, maybe I’m not fire, but Jax looks like he’s suddenly guilty of something and we just got caught doing something we shouldn’t which is strange since Piper set this up.
“Huh.” The sound comes from Piper who is balancing a baby wrapped in blue on one hip, while my daughter Maisy helps push the double stroller where Danika is sleeping wrapped in a purple blanket.
I scrunch my face up mouthing, what, from behind Jax’s back. She’s supposed to be at the house, what is she doing at the gym now? My cheeks heat feeling guilty over nothing. I wasn’t…Jax wasn’t…ugh we weren’t doing anything wrong.
Jax moves past me, his hand drifting off my back and I’m chilled when it’s gone. “Hey Piper. Hey little man.” Jax takes her son Dmitri and holds him. The sight is something that makes my ovaries burst. His muscles bunch and the baby pumps his little fists in the air.
“Interesting.” Piper says looking me over. I cross my arms over my chest because damn if my nipples don’t feel rock hard and poking through my sports bra. I lost my shirt when we wrestled earlier practicing moves but I don’t tell her that.
“What is it Pip?” Jax glances at us both.
“Oh nothing, but I thought you guys would be hungry after training.” Understatement of the year. “Milo is picking up steaks to grill. Want to come over?”
I’m saying no with my hands, my mouth, and my body language waving like a lunatic tree back and forth in the wind, but Piper is smiling like an evil witch completely disregarding me.
“Sure.” Jax smiles at the baby and I sigh.
“Come on Di, I know you’re not suddenly a vegetarian.” I hate her right now and I wave her off again.
“Mommy has funny dance moves.” My daughter laughs and Jax turns to see me as I straighten up grinning like an idiot. Inside I’m trying to burn Piper with my laser focused glare, but nothing happens, not even a damn singe to her perfect post-pregnancy hair. Six weeks to the day since she delivered her twin bundles and back to her pre-baby weight. She wiggles her even more perfect eyebrows and I trip over my own legs.
“Whoa there.” Jax manages to hold the baby and reach for me.
“Yes, your mother does honey bear, must be some kind of interpretive yoga.” Piper doesn’t even try to contain her smile while Jax extends a hand to help me up, more than capable of balancing us both and my girl parts quiver.
“So dinner? Shall we?” I brush them all off giving Piper a well-deserved scowl.
***
It’s not until we all get back to The Lazare homestead, a nice brownstone house in Federal Hill with a tiny backyard that I get cornered by Piper.
“So what was all that back at the gym.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” She uncorks the bottle of wine and pours us a glass giving me the stare down I knew was coming. “Hey, are you pumping and dumping tonight.” I watch her take a swig of wine concerned.