by Renee Rose
That stupid female had been trying to land a Wolf brother since we were kids. She’d been working hard at snagging me since I’d been back. I’d told her at the bar I wasn’t interested, made it obvious when I left with Audrey. But no. It figured she’d step in to cause me trouble when I finally found my mate.
She was a bitch, plain and simple. To go to Audrey’s house? I could only imagine the extent of the lies she’d fed to my mate. Lies that were only perpetuated by my actions. Or, hell, my lack of action.
Rob stood there waiting, his patience one of his best traits as alpha, but also really fucking annoying. He wasn’t leaving this time, and that was good because I had a lot to say. A lot to unload if I was going to work through the shit in my head.
“I’m sorry I got our parents killed,” I said, without looking at him. “I’m sorry you became alpha at eighteen. Sorry you didn’t go to college because you had to raise me. I’m surprised you want to look at my face. There, I said it. I’m sorry, but that’s not going to bring them back. I’m not gonna play the role of the fuck-up any more.”
“Excuse me?” Rob sounded shocked.
I lobbed another stone at the telephone pole. “I know you never expect much from me, but I can be just as responsible as you or Colton. I could lead the pack if I had to. I’m good for more than just seducing women to keep them quiet.”
He stepped closer, set his hands on his hips. “I’m sorry, I don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about, but I have a feeling it has something to do with your doctor friend.”
“You had me seduce Audrey to make her forget I had an injury, to make her think she’d been seeing things and not wonder how I healed in a few fucking hours. You had me do it because I was the handsome one. Then you tell me not to fuck her brains out? I can never win with you.”
“Hold on. I never told you to seduce her. I told you to keep an eye on her not get your dick in her.”
I growled, chucked another rock. “Fucking Karen,” I mumbled.
“Whoa. What’s got you so riled over the doctor?”
“She’s not my doctor friend. She’s my fucking mate. My wolf recognized her the moment I saw her in the arena. That’s why I got gored—because Abe fucking Gleason asked her out and was making the moves in the stands.”
Rob gave a low whistle. “Your mate? Are you sure?”
I turned, glared.
“I had no idea,” he replied, sounding totally surprised. “Why the fuck didn’t you say something?”
I turned on him. “Say what, exactly? It’s against pack rules, right? We don’t mate humans? We don’t reveal what we are to them? What the fuck was I supposed to do, especially when you tell me to be her best fucking friend?”
Rob looked bewildered at seeing me express so much emotion. “Well, I don’t know, but we sure as shit could’ve talked it over together.” His tone was mild. Coaxing, almost, like I was still a kid.
I threw another rock so hard it split the wood when it hit.
“Are you going to mate her?”
“Well, besides the fact that it’s not allowed, that’s pretty much off the table now. Fucking Karen showed up at her house telling her you’d sent me to seduce her to keep her quiet. Thanks very much.”
Rob groaned. “She is such a goddamn bitch. She needs a mate who’ll get her under control, and that’s not going to be any of us. Maybe it’s time for her to go visit the Canadian pack for a few months. But you know that’s not what I said. I wouldn’t have asked it of you if I’d known how your wolf felt. I’m sorry.”
I took my hat off, ran my hand over my hair. “Yeah, well. Audrey’s finished with me now. She never believed in me. Just like you don’t.”
“Seriously, asshole? I’m about to knock you on the ground. You’re the only one who doesn’t believe in you.”
“What the fuck are you talking about?” I snarled.
“I sent you to take care of Markle because I knew you could do it. He’s an asshole and isn’t going to go down easily. I didn’t expect him to be resolved in one night.”
“He had his eyes on Audrey, and I cleared that up pretty fast. Besides his wolf issue, I’m sure my stealing away Audrey pisses him off even more. He hates my guts.”
“Good. Let him focus his anger on you. Maybe that’ll distract him from Audrey, first off, and secondly, off of buying the Shefield property.”
“You’re not pissed about him?”
“At you?” He looked at me like I was crazy. “Hell, no. You did good. I heard you gave him a black eye.”
I couldn’t help but smile about that.
“That must’ve felt fucking good.”
I nodded.
“What the fuck did you say when I walked up—about killing Mom and Dad?”
I glanced at him, then away. “It’s true.”
“Boyd, you cannot possibly blame yourself for their deaths.” He grabbed my shoulder and pulled me around to face him. “Do you?”
My eyes smarted. “All the fucking time,” I admitted. “I was late at the fair. That put us in the canyon during the storm.”
“Mom called and said they would be late because they’d been chatting with another pack family that had moved away.”
“She did?”
“Yeah.”
“I remember them talking with the Gundersons when I finally showed up, but not her calling. It must’ve been when I went to take a leak.”
“She told me they were waiting for you but were glad you got behind because they’d have missed their friends otherwise.”
“I thought… I was unharmed in the rock slide, but I’d been trapped. I shifted, my first time, to get out of the wreckage.”
“Fuck.” He yanked me in for a hard hug. “None of that shit was your fault, you goddamn idiot.” He held me so tightly, I couldn’t breathe. After a moment, I hugged him back.
All the pain and hurt washed together, the loss of Audrey and our parents. I’d been wrong. I’d thought like a kid all this time. Assumed. It didn’t bring them back, but it made it… easier.
I finally pushed Rob away and shoved my hands in my pockets. I’d wished I’d talked to Rob years ago, but I’d stayed away. So much time I’d been wrong, that I’d been angry at myself. That I thought Rob hated me. Blamed me.
I cleared my throat. “I called Shefield’s heir.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah. He left his property to a niece. She’s in graduate school for music. Seemed nice. She’s not sure what she’s going to do with the place but knows about Markle’s offer. I told her I’d match or beat any offer he made.”
“Are you serious?” Rob studied my face in surprise. “With what money?”
“Dude. How can you not have noticed?” I pointed to my huge belt buckle. “I am a fucking world champion bull rider. I’ve made a fortune, and I haven’t spent a dime. I figured the time would come when I’d find an investment that interested me.”
Rob peered at me. “And this is it? Buying the ranch next door?”
“She said she had no interest in selling to anyone, so we don’t have to worry about Markle getting the land.”
He slapped me on the shoulder. “See, you’re dealing with Markle. I never would have thought of contacting Shefield’s heir. Since she’s not selling, you still going to settle here? I thought you couldn’t wait to get away from Cooper Valley.”
I picked up another stone but didn’t throw it. I rolled it around between my fingers. “Truth is, I couldn’t wait to get away from here. From our parents’ death and feeling like a fuck-up. Turned out, no matter how far I traveled, it never went away.”
Rob shook his head. “Boyd, I am sorry if I ever made you feel that way.”
I knocked the hat off his head. “Yeah, you did. All the fucking time.”
He stooped to pick it up. “Well, I didn’t mean it. I’m just an asshole with everyone. My job as alpha isn’t to be everyone’s best friend. I have to make decisions others might not like. But that’s me. You, Boyd? You
’re the one with the brightest future. You could do anything. You proved it on the rodeo circuit, but I guess I always wondered when you were gonna start really living.”
My chest tightened painfully. I was starting now. For Audrey. If she would just take me back.
“Fuck off,” I muttered.
Rob chuckled and slapped me hard on the back. “So what are you going to do to win that female of yours back?”
What, indeed?
Wait… I turned and faced him head on. “Does that mean you’ll let me mate her?”
Rob scoffed. “I might stop you from fucking up your life with a human, but if your wolf chose Audrey, then I won’t stand in your way. Besides, there’s no way anyone could ever stop you from doing what you wanted to do. Especially not me.”
“You kicking me out of the pack?” I asked, but I already knew he wasn’t.
He rubbed the back of his neck and settled his Stetson back on his head. “You sure she’s your mate?”
I narrowed my gaze, and even he could hear my wolf growl. “Fucking positive. My teeth already came down to mark her. I’m telling you, I knew it the minute I saw her.”
“Lucky bastard.”
I had to wonder if his moon madness was affecting him. Was he searching for his mate and yet I’d found mine?
“If she’s your mate, then she’s part of the pack, too,” he stated. “Just as soon as you win her back. Don’t fuck this up again, fuck-up.”
I punched him in the shoulder. For once, I didn’t have the anger, the bad feelings when I stood with my brother. I felt… whole. So I replied with all the piss and vinegar of a kid brother. “Asshole.
25
AUDREY
Six letters. Boyd wrote me six letters.
They were all in my trash. Who was I fooling? I hadn’t taken out the garbage all week. If I was really done with Boyd, wouldn't I have burned them? Or never even brought them in?
I stared at the wastebasket.
Don’t do it.
Do not do it.
My phone rang. Shoot. It was Marina. I’d been dodging her calls all week because I knew if we talked, I’d spill everything. I sent this call to voicemail as well. She was used to my work schedule and sometimes a lapse in responses, but I’d text her, let her know not to worry.
Because if I talked to her now, I’d bawl my eyes out. Other than the day we broke up, when I lost it out front, I’d been trying to hold that mess in. I’d done a good job of it, but I was like a pressure cooker, ready to explode.
I stooped and picked out the envelopes from the trash can. I’d had six days to think about it.
To remember all the tiny things. The gentle way Boyd put my glasses back on for me after riding the mechanical bull. The rough way he lost control with me when we had sex, as if he couldn’t hold himself back. The respectful way he always treated me—opening doors and escorting me home. But more than that because those were superficial things, I kept thinking about the story about his parents. How deeply he hurt over their deaths.
Most of all, I remembered how sure he was that I was The One. Whatever that meant to a wolf.
As much as I tried not to, I kept thinking about the fact that he was a wolf. There were dynamics at play I didn’t understand. Their customs. The culture. He’d briefly mentioned how they operated in a pack and how his brother’s disapproval of our relationship would be a big problem for him, considering how much he already felt like a screw-up. While he was a grown man, he still had to take the pack into account when being with someone like me. Someone human.
He had used sex as a weapon. He’d used it to distract me from trying to figure out how a guy who had a sucking chest wound could be healed in such a short time. How his injury had completely disappeared in days. Well, probably sooner, but when the bandage had come off, his skin had been blemish free. Had everything we’d done been at his brother’s orders? Maybe he’d had to distract me, but perhaps he was the one who got distracted. Maybe he’d actually fallen in love.
Did wolves fall in love or was that all an act, too? I just didn’t know.
A heavy knock sounded at my door, making me jump back from the trashcan and shriek.
“Doctor Ames?” It was a deep, gruff voice that came through the front door. But not Boyd’s.
Disappointment crushed my chest. God. I hadn’t realized how much I’d hoped he’d show up until now. I’d told myself I wouldn’t see him if he had, but that was a lie.
I’d secretly wanted Boyd to come here and win me back. It was too bad he was so damn respectful of my wishes.
I opened the door a crack and sucked in a breath.
Rob. Boyd’s brother.
He took off his hat and held it in front of his chest. “Dr. Ames, could I have a word with you? Just for a minute?”
I tried and failed to swallow, then nodded and stepped back.
“Oh, I don’t need to come in,” he said, his gaze falling to the stack of unopened letters in my hand.
I tried to throw them back in the trash, but my fingers wouldn’t open, so instead, I tucked my arm behind my back to hide them. I didn’t know why—he’d already seen them and probably knew with some wolf sense that they were from Boyd.
“Dr. Ames, I just wanted to try to clear some things up. Some misunderstandings.”
“O-okay.”
“My brother’s in love with you.”
I stopped breathing.
“Yes, I asked him to keep an eye on you since you’d seen him get hurt at the rodeo, but you see, Boyd was only too happy to comply with his alpha’s orders for once in his life. Because getting close to you was the only thing on his mind.”
Oh shit. I was going to cry. I did not want to cry in front of Rob. I blinked furiously.
“It’s true Boyd was quite the womanizer in the past. But it’s different with you. He… smiles. He’s the real Boyd. Most of all, he doesn’t just take my shit, even if I am the alpha. I know because I’m also his brother.”
For some reason my fingers decided to go slack, and the envelopes clattered to the floor behind me. Rob looked down at them. His expression was hard to read, but I thought I detected sympathy there. Whether it was for Boyd or for me, I wasn’t sure.
“I don’t know if he explained to you how mating works for our kind?”
My heart started pounding. I gave a tiny, frantic shake of my head.
“Wolves mate for life. According to the lore, there’s only one female who will give a wolf the instinct to mate. Wolves who don’t find their mate by a certain age... ” He scrubbed a hand over his face. “They can go moon mad. They become more and more feral until they lose their humanity completely. It’s dangerous, see. Many wolves don’t wait for the mating instinct, they choose a suitable female and start a family. Much like humans, I’m sure.”
Goosebumps stood up on my arms. Yes, it was like humans, minus the part about having one true mate. Although I guessed some humans believed in that, too.
“Wh-why are you telling me all this?” I asked, pushing my glasses up although he couldn’t miss the way my hand shook.
“You’re Boyd’s true mate.”
“He never said that.”
“Did he say you were his, that he knew all along, from the very first, that he wanted you?”
I nodded, tears lodged thick in my throat.
“He didn’t use the word mate because he couldn’t share about his wolf. His wolf chose a human, for whatever reason. You. And while that’s generally against pack law, I would never presume to know better than the wolf instinct. Nature always knows best, right? I know Boyd, and he’s a stubborn bastard. There’s no way he would accept any female but you. So if you refuse him…”
I finally picked up what Rob was putting down. A giant sticky guilt trip. “He’ll go moon mad.”
“Right.”
I needed to be alone. I needed to think things over.
And yes, I might need to read those letters.
So I swung the door shut.
>
“Just think about seeing him?” he called out, just before I shut the door in his face. On the alpha. Of the Wolf pack.
I didn’t answer.
My head spun.
Or was that the room?
Whatever it was, I needed to sit down. Or maybe I needed an oxygen mask. Yes, an oxygen mask would be perfect right now. I sank to the floor and gathered the letters up in my lap.
An oxygen mask, or maybe a letter that I had a feeling had every answer I’d wanted for the past two days.
Marina: Call me or I will drive there and track you down.
Marina’s text got me off the floor. Well, at least from lying on the floor with Boyd’s letters strewn around me. I pushed up and leaned against the couch and grabbed my cell. It had been two hours since Rob left—not that I gave him any choice with the front door in his face—and I’d read through Boyd’s letters over and over.
I knew his heart now. I knew… everything. He’d written long letters, telling me how he felt about me. What it meant that his wolf had chosen me. That he wanted to mate me… for life. He explained how a wolf marked his mate. What it would mean for me, as a human. He said the pack would accept me because his brother would. I held the letters to my chest, letting it all reverberate there. It was so much. It was everything.
Yet I was still sitting here. Alone.
Marina: Now.
I dialed, and she answered on the first ring.
“What’s wrong?” she asked right away.
“I’m in love,” I replied, then burst into tears.
I heard Marina laugh, but I couldn’t stop crying. I had no idea how long I cried, or why my sister stayed on the phone listening to me gasp and sniffle, sob and blow my nose. When I finally stopped, she said, “Are you crying because you’re happy or sad?”
“I don’t know!” I wailed.
“Is this about the guy with the weird name who ordered you lamb?”
“Jett? No, not him.”
“It’s the rodeo champ, right? Please say it’s the rodeo champ.”