by M. S. Parker
“Thanks, Dad,” I muttered.
But he wasn’t finished. “You won’t, however, find many women like that one. I should say, rather, that you won’t find many women who make you feel like that one does.”
Dad breezed away and left me to chew on that by myself. I stood over the table, wet cloth in hand, and wondered what the hell had gotten into my family. They’d never had this much to say about my love life before.
Then again, I’d never had this much to lose before either.
24
Jinx
I loved having dinner with the Mikelsons, even if our time there had clearly put Drew on edge. I felt like I had such a connection with all of them, and Delaney and I were on our way to becoming good friends. I often thought about calling her up and inviting her out to do things, but I was scared.
Not of Delaney, of course. Though I didn’t doubt for a minute she could kick my ass if she wanted to.
No, it was more that I was scared to put down roots. Since I’d started this thing with Drew, I’d been waiting for the other shoe to drop. And now I kinda felt like it was halfway on its way to the floor. Getting close to Delaney would just mean one more person I’d lose if and when Drew decided he was finished with me.
And from how distant he’d been, I was beginning to think that would be soon.
It was quiet on the drive back to his place. I stared out the window at the blanket of stars overhead, remembering looking up between buildings in Boston and seeing nothing but blackness.
“What are you thinking about?” Drew asked.
I was surprised he asked. It was a dangerous question between us these days.
“Just your family,” I told him. “How nice they are.”
If he assumed that I was referring to how much they’d ragged on him about being nicer to me, that was because he had a guilty conscience.
I wasn’t necessarily mad at Drew. I just didn’t know what to do or how to handle the turn our relationship had taken. It felt like his dream was tugging him away from me, and I’d started to realize that Rhett was right. I’d reorganized my own dream to be with Drew. I didn’t regret it, not for a second. I would have made the decision to get a job and hang around here for a while a million times over. But now I was beginning to wonder if maybe I should finally get back to the Globe about their offer of a second interview. I’d been putting them off by saying that I was on a family vacation for much of the summer, but the summer was taking its last gasps. If Drew was going to move on without me, I needed to have a plan, because I sure as hell wasn’t going to stick around here for the ambiance.
“They like you a lot,” Drew said after a moment.
“Just them?” I asked, smiling mischievously.
He shot me a flat look. “You know that I like you a lot too.”
“Sometimes.” I said it thoughtlessly and without meaning to stir up tension between us, but before I realized what I’d done, Drew reached over the gearbox and took my hand.
“All the time.” His voice was husky, laden with emotion.
My throat tightened at the sincerity in his tone, and all I could manage to do was give his hand a quick squeeze and turn to the window so he wouldn’t see the gigantic grin on my face.
We’d barely walked through the front door before Drew took my hands and pulled me against him, twining his fingers through my hair. I tipped my head back, searching his eyes for the cause of the unexpected tenderness.
But Drew didn’t speak. He wasn’t much of a talker, not when he could say everything he needed to with his body. He leaned down, breath gliding over my lips. I waited, heart racing. When he finally pressed his lips against mine, it was like we’d gone back in time. Back to when things were simpler with us. When I wasn’t constantly worried about something happening to him. When the fire from a single kiss made me forget the entire world.
His hands stroked my face as his tongue lazily explored my mouth, putting my mind into a smoky haze. I drank in the moment, filed away every pinprick of sensation. Every stroke of his tongue. Every rumbling moan of pleasure that I could feel vibrating in his chest. The way my nipples had tightened, the soft silk of my bra rubbing against the sensitive skin. How my damp panties clung to me as I pressed my thighs together, desperate for more friction.
We stumbled into the bedroom, my fingers fumbling with the buttons of his shirt, kissing the tanned skin as it was revealed. He trembled, hands gripping my hips tightly, grinding us against each other. As I finally pushed his shirt off his shoulders, he set to work on mine, removing each piece of clothing like he was unwrapping a precious gift. His eyes ate me up, lit from behind with a fiery need. Each gentle caress of his fingers told me that I was beautiful, that I was desired.
When my shirt and bra finally joined his shirt on the floor, he bent his head and drew one of my nipples into his mouth, kneading the breast with his hand. The heat in my belly coiled and grew. I could feel his touch under my skin, reaching into the deepest parts of me. There was something beautiful and terrible about the way my body responded to him, like he alone possessed the ability to bring me the pleasure I needed. Craved.
I’d never fully understood that word until I’d met him.
He finished undressing me without taking his mouth from my breast. When he lowered me to the bed, the cool air against my wet skin made me shiver. Then I watched him unbuckle his pants and shivered again, licking my lips. My mouth had gone unbelievably dry. I watched the full length of him spring out from his boxers and moaned just from the sight of it. There was no doubt in my mind that his cock was my Pavlovian bell. The thought of him inside me was enough to send a rush of arousal through me, preparing my body for his.
Still, he kept things slow. He started kissing my calves, then my thighs, little butterfly kisses that made my skin sing. Then he crawled between them and nestled down, sucking and nipping at the sensitive flesh of my inner thighs, each touch a bit harder, a bit more intense. I quivered with anticipation, hands clutching the sheets. God, I wanted his mouth on me.
His mouth opened, and he sucked me in, his tongue swirling around my swollen clit. I felt his fingers dig into my thighs, holding me still as I let out the sort of wail that would’ve embarrassed me if I hadn’t been more concerned about keeping him between my legs for the rest of our lives. I panted and moaned, writhed as he licked across my most sensitive parts. The rough texture of his tongue was exactly what my pussy needed. He plunged into me, then returned to my sensitive nub, each lick sending me closer and closer to my climax.
The sensations overwhelmed me, short-circuiting my ability to think. It was as if he was stroking my whole body, and even my breasts ached from my growing need. I wanted him inside of me, wanted to feel my climax milk his hard cock. Usually, I loved coming on his mouth, but it wasn’t enough right now.
“Baby,” I moaned. “Now, please. Need you inside me.”
He smiled against my flesh, then surged up over my body, driving into me even as he took my mouth.
I saw stars.
My back arched as my pussy muscles clenched around him. I think I screamed. The waves of pleasure that assaulted me took my breath away, and I clung onto him for dear life as he thrust into me hard and fast, all previous gentleness gone. As much as I loved when he was sweet, this was the part of him my body needed right now. Something primal and intense, something that reminded me of being alive.
By the time my first orgasm subsided, I could already feel the next one on the horizon. He leaned down and took my nipple into his mouth, biting down until I cried out again. I loved that each time we had sex, it felt like our first time. Not because it was awkward in any way, but it was like we were discovering each other’s bodies in a new and fresh way.
And right now, I was discovering another orgasm.
I let out a string of expletives as I came hard. Really hard. Like the sort of hard that didn’t have nearly enough adverbs to describe how extreme it was. A wave of heat crashed over me, and in its wake, a s
kin-tingling cold sucked the air from my chest. Holy fucking hell, it was amazing.
And it kept going as Drew kept going, his body curled over mine so he could mark my breasts with his mouth even as he pounded into me, chasing his own release. Then, with a curse, he came. I clenched my muscles with pleasure as I felt him empty inside of me, filling me. He pressed an open-mouthed kiss to my neck as he stiffened above me. Then, his lips brushed over my chin, and then my lips in a soft kiss before sliding off to the side.
Wow.
Hope surged through me. Tonight, we’d reconnected, and now I needed to know just what that meant.
“Drew,” I said.
He propped his head on his hand, staring down at me from where he lay lengthwise on the bed. “Yes, sweetheart?”
I smiled at the affection in his tone. It was the first time in days that I felt like we were back in sync.
“We both need to live the lives that are best for us,” I began. “And I would never stop you from doing what you need to do with yours, but when I see what’s best for me, I see you there. Alive and well.”
“We’ve talked about this.” He rolled onto his back and stared up at the ceiling, his tone flat.
My heart sank, but I kept going. “I know we’ve talked about it, but I wanted you to know why it was so important to me.”
And I want to hear that I’m important to you as well...
“I’ve heard you.”
A long silence stretched between us. Apparently, that was all Drew had to say on the matter. After the amazing experience we’d just had, I thought we were in this together. Then again, it wasn’t like we’d made promises to each other. It’d just been good sex then. Even though I’d always assumed that I was a little more in it than him, he’d shown it to be true, and the admission broke my heart.
My eyes pricked with tears. I didn’t want him to see me cry, so I rolled over onto my side and faced the wall, a part of me hoping that he’d realize how badly he’d hurt me, that he’d roll over and talk to me, wrap his arms around me and tell me that we’d be okay.
But he didn’t.
It was the first night he didn’t hold me as we drifted to sleep, the first night I didn’t cuddle up to him and listen to his heart beat in his chest, powerful and deep.
It was the first night that I realized if something didn’t happen soon, we wouldn’t last much longer.
25
Drew
Maybe Jinx wasn’t ignoring me, but it certainly felt like she was. If not ignoring, at least avoiding. She spent the whole week working long hours at the Gazette, claiming they were doing major revisions to the newspaper. I didn’t think there was anything a small-town paper could do that would possibly demand that much time from her. Either way, she wouldn’t come home until later in the evening, and she usually found some excuse to head out for a bit or slip into bed a little early, all with barely a word to me.
Things were strained. I refused to take full responsibility for the strain, given that I was probably just as annoyed with her as she was with me. She wanted me to give up my dream. I wanted her to stop bugging me about it. Things would have been fine between us if she’d just dropped it.
Yet, somehow, I still felt horrible. Guilty.
I decided to attempt reconciliation by taking her out on a date. Nothing fancy, just something casual. Back to what had made us work in the first place.
I called her at work to make plans. She picked up, sounding friendly and alert.
“Grantsboro Gazette,” she singsonged. “This is Jinx Lockley.”
“You sound like such a good girl on the phone.” I couldn’t resist.
Jinx didn’t laugh like I thought she would. She went silent before quietly saying, “That’s what they pay me for. How can I help you?”
It wasn’t quite rude, but then again none of our conversations had been. We’d both just bordered on rude. I think she’d picked it up from me first, admittedly. Plus, she was at work, so I had to take that into consideration too.
“I want to take you out tonight. I wasn’t sure if you had plans after work.”
Her favorite late night excuse was helping Rhett move into his new place. Or getting to know her coworkers with a couple after work drinks. All things that would make me look like an ass if I argued with her.
“Uh, no,” she said. “I’m free.”
She didn’t sound very excited about it.
“Good.” I looked down at the dusty track and kicked a rock with my boots, feeling suddenly awkward. “I’ll, uh, see you at home.”
“Sure.”
We ended the call and something twisted in my gut. Anger? No. Frustration? Maybe a little. It kinda felt like sadness, which I hated to admit. I was sad that we’d become even more awkward around each other than we had before we’d lived together. It shouldn’t be this difficult for me to ask my fucking girlfriend to go out with me.
I slid back onto the seat of my bike and strapped my helmet on tight. Things would get better after tonight. They had to. Worse wasn’t an option.
The Horse and Tack was a rustic old bar with a set of patrons that hadn’t changed much over the years. The old man slumped on one of the bar stools was Brent Loggins, who’d been in that same spot the first time I ever snuck in here to get a beer. The owner, Grant, was a big, muscled guy with a soft spot for kittens and fine wine. He greeted us as we walked inside. “Two Mikelsons in one night. I must be in luck.”
I frowned, narrowing my eyes to scan the bar. Sure enough, Dallas was sipping on a glass of whiskey at the bar. He saw me looking and gave a brief nod in return before going back to studying his alcohol.
“I didn’t know he’d be here,” I said as if Grant wanted or cared about an explanation.
Grant shrugged and looked down at Jinx. “Who’s this pretty little lady?” he asked.
I slipped my arm around Jinx’s shoulders instinctively, though I knew Grant meant no harm. He was about as dangerous as the fluffy kittens on the calendar next to the business license behind the bar.
“This is Jinx,” I said. “My girlfriend.”
“Well, nice to meet you, Jinx.” Grant extended a hand and Jinx shook it.
“Nice to meet you too.”
“I see why I haven’t seen much of Drew lately now.” Grant smiled, exposing the missing tooth on his upper right side. “If I had a woman as beautiful as you around, I wouldn’t be taking her to a crusty dive bar like this.”
I laughed, hoping it didn’t sound as insincere as it was.
“Gotta get more beer.” Grant turned and disappeared into the back. He was never one to linger.
Jinx made a beeline for my brother. I clenched my jaw and followed her. I supposed that she couldn’t exactly pretend he wasn’t there after they’d already made eye contact, and she wasn’t one to not say hi to somebody she knew, but it still pissed me off for whatever reason. He was my twin. He should’ve known better.
“Hey, Dallas.” Jinx smiled brighter than I’d seen in days. “What are you doing here?”
“Drinking by himself,” I answered, not hiding the annoyance in my voice.
Dallas’s eyes flashed with irritation, but he didn’t retaliate. Instead, he turned a dazzling smile on Jinx. “I’m just relaxing a bit. Long day at work, and I don’t like to go home to an empty house when I’m stressed.”
Jinx gestured between us. “We’re on a date. Otherwise, I’d ask you to join us.”
I hadn’t realized that was a thing I might have to do, but I was relieved that Jinx was making the proper excuses.
“No worries at all,” said Dallas, taking another sip of the amber liquid in his glass. “I’m gonna head out after this drink anyway. I’ll come say bye before I leave though.”
“Great.” Jinx smiled. “Enjoy your drink.”
She turned and walked toward an empty table at the back of the room. I followed, now officially in a sour mood. Why did she and Dallas get along so well? Obviously, the reason she was being so distant had noth
ing to do with stress from work, as I’d thought – hoped – it might have been. If she could be perfectly and genuinely happy to see Dallas, then why couldn’t she show the same kind of enthusiasm toward me?
But we were here to get back on track so it wouldn’t do for me to dwell on those kinds of thoughts. I shoved them down and took the seat across from her. The waitress came by to take our drink orders, and then it was just me and my girl.
“How has work been this week?” I asked.
She shrugged. “Busy. A bit frustrating at times, but nothing I can’t handle.” She didn’t return the question, choosing instead to watch as she ran her pinky around the rim of the glass.
She didn’t want to talk about my work. Fine. We could avoid that. That’s what I wanted her to do in the first place.
“So, what do you think of this place?” I gestured to the deer head hanging on the wall behind her. “I doubt you get much of this in Boston.”
She chuckled. “Can’t say we do. I’ve never been much for the rough-and-tough country aesthetic, but I think I like it here.” She glanced to where Grant had appeared behind the bar. He was joking with one of the regulars, his thick white mustache drawn up at the corners in a grin.
“Grant’s a good guy. Bit of a character,” I said. “He doesn’t like beer, but as he tells it, owning a bar like this was always his dream.”
Jinx cocked her head a little. “Why would he want to own a place like this if he doesn’t even like beer?”
“The people, I think. He’s always loved talking to people. Drinking with people. And now he’s made it his life.”
The waitress came back over with our drinks. I grabbed the bottle of Bud off the table as soon as she slid it over, swallowing a couple mouthfuls. Sure, we were talking. That was good. But it didn’t feel right. It was stilted, and we were obviously avoiding the elephant in the room. We were talking about the hopes and dreams of old Grant Burton for Christ’s sake.